30 Kisses, 30 Ways Asuka and Shinji
by Eric Blair
Summary: Chances given by fate: 30 kisses Shinji and Asuka can share, 30 ways they can be exchanged. During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created, all of them different, all unique. They all have one single unifying rule. Update: 02/14/2011.
1. Kiss 10, Way 09

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka **

**Themes: K-10 (#10) W-09 (Oops!) **

**Title: The Hustle **

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly. Ohh...and about the setting, this thing is definitely AU, read further down and you'll see... The whole thing came to my mind as I was watching an old movie "The Hustler" with Paul Newman…man is it cool…_**

**_Maybe if I get the inspiration I'll give Shinji a backbone and turn him into Steve McQueen_**

**_Yeah I'm that old…_**

**----- ----- ----- ----- **

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the _** **_Edo_****_ period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other. _**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04_**

Outside, the wind was howling, sounding like a wild hurt animal, raking leaves and scarves and coats and dresses.

Inside, the bar was almost empty, impregnated with a musky odor, an offending mixture of smoke, ashes and bourbon. The young girl made her way inside, in part to save herself of the cold that was starting to pick up this late in the evening, in part to get herself a drink.

This wasn't the first time she had entered this particular establishment; she was a natural born killer, a predator. As she made her way to the bar, he saw the usual couple already there.

The bar man, a man rather older than her, with his hair tied in a messy ponytail at the base of his neck, a 5o'clock shadow adorning his rugged features, and a roguish grin that could just as easily turn from a lady killer smile to an impish smirk was chatting up a mauve haired meter maid, who spent half her time rebutting him (if calling him a callous idiot could count as a rebuttal) and the other half smiling at him when he though he couldn't see her.

"Hey Kaji, Hey Misato..." The girl waved happily, surprising both of them. Kaji smiled warmly at her, winking. "Hey Asuka, how ya doing..?" He smiled at them, and the purple haired woman, having caught sight of him smiled and waved.

"Hey you...long time no see..." She said in a rather loud voice, clashing completely against the somber background of the bar. Asuka simply smiled and made her way to them, greeting both, telling Kaji to give her the College Special and sat on a table next to Misato, next to the pool tables.

"Kaji." Asuka smirked, but her eyes were warm. "You still trying to hook up with Misato..?"

"Always..."

"When are you gonna dump her and date me instead..?" Asuka asked, pouting like a little girl denied her favorite toy. Misato stuck her tongue good naturedly at her, making Kaji laugh. He had a hearty, throaty laughter.

"Asuka, I'm not worthy of the honor of dating you..."

"You're right..."

"Besides Katsuragi here will always have my heart."

"Kaji..." The aforementioned Misato swatted his hand away smiling. She gestured to her mug. Kaji wordlessly refilled her mug, placing Asuka's glass in front of her.

"You should never let a girl like me stay so long without a drink."

Asuka smiled at that and turned towards the almost empty hall, catching sight of three young men in a table; the tallest one was dressed in a track suit, the one playing against him with sandy blonde hair, freckles and glasses trying to play.

_Trying _being the operative word.

The last one was trying very hard to not be noticed. He was tall, of thin build, somber dark blue eyes, a polite shy smile that never quite reached his face, and the unruly hair which made him look significantly younger.

Some would say it even made him look like a choir boy.

Asuka's rather sharp people instincts made an immediate assessment; a little timid, a little shy and prone to weasel his way away from trouble. Always trying to appease the others, choosing the easier way; to run away from his troubles.

"Hey Kaji..." Asuka asked absentmindedly, sipping at her drink. "Do you think any of those boys is a hustler..?"

Kaji saw them and shrugged. "Dunno...never seen them..." He motioned to the tallest one with his head. "The uniform is from the college varsity team...my guess..." He finished smirking at her.

"They're pigeons." Asuka smirked at that. "Get me another College Special." She turned to Kaji. "Bring it to the table the second you see me grab the cue."

Slowly Asuka made her way to their table.

"Hey idiots..." In a single motion she downed her drink and grabbed the cue. "Wanna shoot some pool..?"

----- ----- ----- -----

"Oops..!"

Asuka made her way to the bar chuckling to herself. Ignoring the angry yells of Tracksuit demanding his money, insisting she had hustled them. Glasses simply moaned, looking at his thin wallet.

"Better luck next time chumps…"

As the three of them made their way out, she felt one of them sizing her up. Dark blue eyes locked against clear ones. No words were exchanged, but She knew a challenge had been made.

_Bring it on._

----- ----- ----- -----

The next day after the following found Asuka making her way to Kaji's again. She entered and said hi, and went to sit at the bar.

"Good hustle..?" Kaji said as he effortlessly gave her a College Special.

Asuka simply whistled a happy tune, counting off the bills in front of him. Kaji chuckled at that.

"I've never seen you work it…" He began conversationally.

"What about last Tuesday..?" She asked.

"That was a lightweight…" Kaji smirked. "I want to see you work it for real…"

"Maybe someday Kaji…"

"Well…" Kaji sighed, walking towards the back of the bar, grabbing a bottle from where they all were. "Some one's here to see you…" He said, motioning to her back.

Frowning she turned and came face to face with blue eyes.

"Hey."

Asuka smiled at him.

"Hey."

Blue eyes stuttered. "U-uhmm…do you play professionally..?"

"No, I just spend my days here." She said leaning on her elbows against the railing, showing of her figure, enjoying how he blushed and looked away.

"I'm a college girl. Two days a week - Tuesdays and Thursdays - I go to college."

"You don't look like a college girl."

"I'm the emancipated type. Real emancipated."

He paled. "No, I didn't mean that..." He said quickly seeing Asuka's lips turn down with a scowl. "I mean you just look very young."

"Well…" Asuka said smiling; a girl always loved it when they told her she appeared younger than what she really was. "I'm not."

"So I see..." Shinji said reflexively. "So why go to college..?"

"Got nothing else to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"What do you do on the other days..?"

"I drink..." She said, taking her glass with nimble fingers and downing it in one gulp. "And I shoot pool."

Not caring for his answer, she turned towards Kaji, grumbling when she caught sight of him chatting Misato again. Sighing, she turned and looked at the kid, still standing there in front of her. Not paying him any attention, she made her way to her favorite table, racking the balls and making her move.

_Crack_.

A glorious sound, an unmistakable sound, and for one of them, the sound that would become the beginning of the end.

As Asuka circled the table she was aware of blue eyes.

"What's your name..?" He said in slow, modulated tones.

"Asuka, Asuka Langley Sohryu." She finished curtly.

"I'm Shinji...Shinji…" Before he could say his last name, Asuka cut him off.

Again.

"Nice to meet you." Asuka said with a sweet smile and saccharine tone, only to let her smile settle in a scowl and emit a low growl. "Now move. You're next to my table."

She circled around him and made her shoots in a deliberately show off way. In time she came again against him.

"Hey idiot." She said in an impossible sweet, sweet, voice.

"Move it, you blocking my shot."

She pushed him away with her body, making him stumble against the bar.

"I'm not doing anything." He said defensively.

"I'm shooting pool, idiot. You're not allowed to do nothing when I'm shooting pool."

Before she could continue, Shinji withdrew something from within his coat.

"Do you like to gamble, Asuka..?" He said in a serious voice. "Gamble money on pool games..?"

Her demeanor changed when she saw Shinji roll out a thick was of bills from his coat pocket and place it on his table.

"Listen idiot..." She began in a tired voice. "I just hustled some poor salaryman of his hard earned money." She placed the cue on the table and turned to him, crossing her arms under her breast, pushing them up and together.

"Do you think I'll blink twice before taking your money…Preppy..?"

Shinji immediately recognized her for what she was. Asuka was a hustler; a girl who made her living duping people, taking their money, betting against them, making them play their best, as she took dive after dive, only to do a last call; an all-in bet at the end, pulling all the stops to win.

"So..." He continued. "You any good..?"

The familiar smirk in Asuka's face was back with force. "I'm the best you ever seen, idiot..." She said, pointing arrogantly to herself. "I'm the best there is. And even if you beat me, I'm still the best."

Shinji flipped the wad on the table.

"Prove it."

Asuka scratched the back of her neck, smiling. "It's your funeral, idiot."

----- ----- ----- -----

"I don't believe it…"

"I'm sorry…"

"How did you do it..?" Asuka asked shocked, once Shinji straightened up after sinking the last ball on the pocket. Shinji simply picked up the money in silence and shrugged.

"Just lucky I guess…"

Asuka scoffed at that. "Beginners luck..."

Shinji stood there, staring directly at her. "Asuka…" Shinji began but was cut of by her.

"Is it alright if I get personal..?"

"I-I guess… " Shinji said shuffling his feet. Asuka crossed her arms and looking at him petulantly.

"Shinji…you're a born loser."

He stood there, shocked at what she heard. "B-but I…won…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean..?"

Shinji frowned. "Uh…W-well, I did win and…" he began, changing slightly, standing straighter, his shoulders not as slumped as before, and somehow, he reminded Asuka in some way of Kaji.

"Listen Shinji, this was the first time in years I was ever hooked... really hooked." Asuka said, grabbing her cue, unscrewing the top half to put it away.

"…But you let me off. You let me off easy, Shinji."

Shinji stood there, not knowing what to say to the strange red head in front of him.

"I told you; you got lucky. "

"Sure… I got lucky." Shinji said, waving his hand in the air.

"You have the best excuse in the world for losing…" Asuka continued, picking up the balls, juggling them with ease.

"No trouble losing when you got a good excuse. Winning... that can be heavy on your back, too, like a stone." She punctuated the sentence by making the balls come back to him into the rack, aligning them perfectly, still juggling 3 balls; number 8, number 1, number 15 and number 10.

"You'll drop that stone too when you get an excuse." She let number 1 fall in it's place, followed by 15, juggling numbers 8 and 10 still.

"All you have to do is learn to feel sorry for yourself. One of the best indoor sports is feeling sorry for yourself. A sport enjoyed by all, especially the born losers."

She finished placing number 10 on the rack.

"Thanks for the game." Shinji said as he picked his winnings and made his way to the door.

Asuka watched him walk away before snorting. "Ok…" She said, making Shinji stop and turn at her.

"You won…but you owe me…you owe me a rematch…"

Shinji looked at her, not knowing where she was going with that. "What do you mean I owe you..?"

"One last game…winner takes all…"

"You don't have anything left to bet…" Shinji pointed out, not looking at her.

"Wrong…" Asuka said as she closed the distance between them, facing him. "I bet myself…."

"Huh..?"

"If I win, I get the money back…"

"And if I win..?"

"Not gonna happen…" She crossed her arms arrogantly. "But if by some freak chance you managed to win, or I managed to lose, I'll let you do whatever you want with me…"

"Wha…but I…"

"C'mon…admit it Shinji…" Asuka continued, circling him, sizing him. "I could tell ever since you saw me that you wanted me. So I'll give you a shot."

Shinji stood there, not knowing what to say, letting the silence drip in.

"Ok…let's do it."

Silently they raked the balls again. And Shinji allowed Asuka have first crack.

Asuka leaned slowly, painfully, flaunting her assets in an obvious manner.

"How should I play that one, Shinji..?" She asked, wiggling her behind for greater effect, her voice becoming like that of a 14 year old, sweet and tempting and everything in-between.

"Should I play it safe? That's the way you always seem to play it: safe..." She sunk the first ball. Shinji remained silent.

"You always play the percentage. Well, here we go: fast and loose." She sunk another ball, but her rival still remained stoic.

"Another ball, corner pocket…" She said, lightly tapping the ball, gloating.

"Problem is…percentage players die broke, too, don't they, Shinji..?" She turned to look at him, flipping her red tresses. However a deafening _Thud _made her turn around shocked and swearing at what she saw.

The ball had hit the corner at an odd angle, sliding down the rail, not going inside.

Shinji stood there, his hands cupping the top of the cue, almost as if his hands were stapled in front of him, obscuring his mouth, not making it possible to see if he was serious or smirking.

Finally, he walked towards the table, leaned down and lined his sight. Before he made his shot, however he spoke.

"If I win…I get to keep my money and my friend's as well. You can keep the rest."

----- ----- ----- -----

Shinji was quietly pulling out bills from the wad before giving it to Asuka who swiped it from his hand. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't place her finger on it.

Until Kaji came by.

"You're Ikari's kid…right..?"

Shinji said nothing, but his hand became fist, clenching and unclenching.

"I'm nothing like him…" He said in a low, grave voice.

"Wait a minute…Ikari…Gendo Ikari..? Gendo _The Shark_ Ikari..?" Asuka asked shocked. "He…He hustled me..?" She turned to Kaji.

"You just realized..?" Kaji supplied between laughter.

Shinji stood there, looking towards his feet.

"I have to go…"

"Like hell…" Asuka roared before Kaji placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Let it go Asuka, he won fair and square." Kaji said, taking her arm gently but firmly, even though Shinji never looked up.

"Go Kid…" Kaji gestured to the exit smiling. "You got talent kid, better than your old man."

"But…" Asuka said, not willing to let go.

"Just go…." Kaji said easily, pushing Shinji towards the door.

"Thank you." Shinji said, before turning towards Asuka. "Sorry."

Asuka watched Shinji exit the bar. She turned to Kaji, demanding an explanation.

"I don't get it…why did I lose..? Don't I have talent..?"

"I don't think there's a pool player alive that shoots better pool than I saw you shoot today." Kaji said calmly, giving Asuka another drink and lighting himself a cigarette.

"You got talent, kid…I'll give you that. But he's Ikari's heir, there nothing like that; it's on the blood, on the genes." He paused for a second, collecting his thoughts.

"He was playing the game like a fine tuned instrument…like a cello…" Kaji exhaled the smoke and then continued.

"Ikari was masterful…I saw him play once. Boy was he great..!" Kaji said with a far away look on his face.

"The old men; Keel and Fuyutsuki, they trained him, and he was the best. You could look at the way he moved, and it was like a dancer..." Kaji chuckled.

"And those fingers, those long fingers always enclosed in white gloves. That stroke...it was like he was, I don't know…like he was playing an instrument; a violin or something." He let the smoke billow off, going up toward the ceiling in various fantastic figures.

"So I got talent. So why did I lose…? How did he won..?" Asuka asked still numbed after finally being beat.

"Character." Kaji simply said, going back towards the bar.

"I don't get it." Asuka said morosely.

Kaji smiled at that. "Some day you'll get it, kid…" He turned around the bar, noticing only Asuka and him were the only ones left. "Can you lock up..?"

"Yeah, sure…"

Asuka watched Kaji go thru the back door. She waited for a couple of minutes, shooting idly with no real intention until a soft tingling announced her the front door had been opened.

"Beat it dead beats, we're closed…" She said not turning around. The person behind her, however grabbed her by the shoulders turning her to face him.

"ACK!! PERVERT!!" Asuka screamed, turning around in a flash, hand lashing out in a swift left cross.

A hand caught her punch in midair, and lightly, slowly, almost reverently, the other person's finger were intertwined with hers.

Shinji stood there, looking directly at her.

"I came to collect my debt."

And without saying anything else, he leaned towards her and placed a soft chaste kiss on her lips.

----- ----- ----- -----

_Well here it is, my first foray into the realm of Shinji/Asuka one shots, hope you like it, It's a load of crap, but it's MY load of crap._

_Like it..? Hate it..? Tell me why._


	2. Kiss 03, Way 24

_**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**_

_**Themes: K-03 (Jolt!) W-24 (Snowfall)**_

_**Title: Christmas Kiss**_

**_A.N.:I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. Neither Shinji, nor Asuka, and certainly not the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Santa, being a world figure I'm tempted to say belongs to everyone, although I'm sure Miss Claus would like to object. BTW, I just found out that I can have the character's kissing other characters instead of the main pairing "so long as the have the other member of the main pair in their heart." Neat-o. Guess I'll use this story around to muck up the pairing._**

_**Or will I..?**_

_**I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly. **_

----- ----- ----- -----

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other.**_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

----- ----- ----- -----

"Thank you all for coming...Merry Christmas..."

The sound of the bell announcing the departure of the last costumer from the store was accompanied by the best wishes of the cashiers.

"All right people...That's a wrap." Misato Katsuragi, store manager, notified her employees of the ending of the shift. "Now let's get everything cleaned an-"

"Done..!" Before she had a chance to finish, her crack staff was already in line with various cleaning articles; mops brooms, dustpans. Misato stared wide-eyed at them, then turned to the cashier.

"Uhmmm..." Hikari Horaki began, twirling one of the pigtails that were sticking out of her Santa hat. "We took the liberty of starting to cleanup earlier."

Misato smiled at that. "Great idea...now you know the drill gang, lets PAAR-TAAY..!" She gestured wildly, ushering the rest of the staff out and closing the store. All of them walked lively towards the closest bar, chatting and joking, looking at the bright lights, the Christmas displays, the men dressed as Santa Clauses carrying signs, urging people to purchase the fabled Christmas cake, or the buckets of chicken in preparation for Christmas dinners.

"Christmas is such a great time, isn't it Asuka..?" Misato smiled wistfully as the young woman besides her looked with a quiet enthusiasm at the people swirling around, going from one store to another, like little ants scurrying and burrowing on their ant hill.

"Yeah...I guess..." She said, smiling sadly as memories, both wanted and unwanted came by.

**Asuka Langley Soryu. College sophomore. Her life had been hard; her mother committed suicide, and her father remarried again.**

"I noticed you seemed in a slump earlier today...what's the matter..? Getting the Christmas blues..?" Misato gasped and then smiled teasingly. "You're not thinking about stealing my husband, aren't ya..?"

"M-Mistao...i-it's not like that..." Asuka blushed, more mortified about the crack about Misato's husband over anything else. Back when she had just started working at the Katsuragi store, Asuka had openly ogled Kaji, then Misato's fiancé and went so far as calling him a fox in front of said fiancé.

----- ----- ----- -----

_"Yeah...I bet he's so good in bed..." Misato said teasingly as Asuka blushed and sputtered._

_"Y-you Japanese are all perverts, Katsuragi..." She laughed blushing. "How can you say something like that about a complete stranger...?"_

_"Hey, I can introduce him to us if that makes it all right..." She said grinning widely just as she was about to wave at the pony tailed stranger. "Heyyy..."_

_"Stop it, Misato..." A now red-faced Asuka, almost as red as the shirt she was wearing pushed her arm down. "You're making a scene..." Asuka looked from side to side to make sure no one was watching the crazy dark haired woman and the exotic, auburn haired foreigner._

_"Besides, you wouldn't dare do it..." Asuka stated, looking over at her, turning her back on the stranger, hopping her blushing face hadn't been seen. _

_"Why not...? He is hot and sexy..." Misato began to recite her reasons, stopping on the last one, pulling Asuka closer to whisper in her ear. "But most importantly...He's my fiancé..."_

----- ----- ----- -----

It was then that Asuka witnessed firsthand the incredible teasing skills Misato Katsuragi possessed, something she would still do every once in a while when business was slow.

Or whenever she felt like it.

"Look Asuka, I know your situation isn't easy, but I was wondering if you would like to come over for Christmas dinner; it'll just be the staff, Kaji and Me..." She finished by ruffling her bangs. "Nobody should be alone on Christmas." She finished softly.

"I don't know; Hikari might invite her stooge boyfriend..." Asuka motioned to the pigtailed girl, currently being accompanied by a bespectacled woman with reindeer ears on top of her head, and an azure haired young woman. "And Mayumi has been really chummy with the loser who works at the hobby store a few locals down the street."

"Well...Rei is coming solo...apparently her boyfriend is not going to be free since he has to play at some gala concert or something..."

Asuka simply mulled it over and over; on the one hand, she wasn't looking forwards to spending another Christmas all alone. She turned to Rei, and wondered if maybe, just maybe she should come with the blue haired woman who was currently sporting her Santa hat with faux elven ears, both clashing with her otherwise impassible neutral expression.

"I'd love to...Misato..." Asuka smiled at her boss, who at times like this also doubled as a big sister she sometimes wished she had. "I'll even bring the Christmas cake."

"That's the spirit." Misato cheered, laughing. "And if Rei's boyfriend does manage to make it, you're still welcomed to come along if you want to...Now..." Misato finished once she saw the girls had finally succeeded on renting a big enough karaoke room. "Let me call that no good husband of mine while the girls call their less-than-better halves and let's party..."

----- ----- ----- -----

"C'mon Rei, we really need to get going." Asuka said, shivering and whining, putting on her wide opened white sweater over her sleeveless black turtle neck as they said goodbye to Touji and Hikari, as well as Kensuke and Mayumi. Readjusting her vibrantly red scarf, Asuka felt glad for the thinking ahead and bringing the dark wool trench coat, asking herself what she would have done if she hadn't.

She had insisted on wearing a skirt so short, that even after putting on her dark leggings she felt her legs were freezing. And the white boots were going to be a bitch to clean tomorrow. Deciding she was too drunk to worry about fashion emergencies, she placed the white earmuffs on her ears and turned at Rei.

Rei waved good bye to the couples before kneeling down. "Give me a second..." She muttered as she put on her brown boots and closed her tan wool pea coat, adjusting her olive green paperboy cap and lavender scarf. Her coat, although not as long as Asuka's did manage to cover her short pleated tan skirt.

"Wow that was a hell of a party...good thing we don't have to work neither tomorrow nor the day after..." Asuka slurred drunkenly, using Rei as both support from her drunken haze, and giving support to her as well.

All in all, if anyone would have walked by them at such an ungodly hour, they would have snickered at the sight of two young women huddling drunkenly together to stop themselves from falling.

"I don't feel well..." Rei hiccupped, closing her eyes and breathing heavily. "I think I'm gonna throw up..."

"I thought Hikari would pop a vein when Touji began to sing that "fly me to the moon" piece..."

"I can't believe I drank so much..."

"Besides, who would've thought Mayumi had this great singing voice..?"

The rich, toned laughter emerging from their throats rang throughout the night, making the sound all the quainter. Finally, they reached their destination, Rei trying a few times to place the key in the right keyhole, until Asuka rolled her eyes and took the key from her hand, finally succeeding in opening the door.

"Here ya go, M'lady..." An uncharacteristically drunken Asuka said, bowing down and giggling drunkenly. "Home safe home..."

"You know Asuka..." Rei began just as she and the red-head shuffled their way towards the door. "You can stay here to spend the night..."

"Thanks Rei, but my apartment is just a few streets down, I'll be okay…really..."

"Okay..." Rei smiled drunkenly, groping around her coat for the key, realizing finally that the door was opened. Asuka was watching all this with a smile on her face. Silently, Rei sat down on the stairs leading towards the door, and Asuka followed her cue.

"I've always wanted to learn how to smoke..."

"Get real, Rei...you're wonder girl, the prototype of the _Yamato Nadesico_..." Asuka gestured, still smiling. Noticing Rei's frown Asuka tried to explain.

"No offense, Rei, but you rarely go out to drink, and when you do, three beer's the limit for you... I seriously can't see you smoking..."

"I...I can be..." Rei replied in a low tone, though it appeared she wanted to make herself believe do it, rather than stating it. "Y'know, I can be wild..."

"Please, Rei...It's just like that dork Kensuke said: if this were a harem anime you would be the _Yamato Nadesico_, Mayumi the _Fujoshi_ and I'd be the _Bokukko_..."

Rei said nothing, instead she turned towards Asuka.

"Hey Asuka..." Rei began after a second or two of silence. "Did you believe in Santa Claus...when you were young..?"

Asuka turned to Rei smiling, but stopped from laughing at her question when she saw the far away look on Rei's eyes, the glazed look one gets when they are remembering something precious to them. A beautiful memory; a peaceful memory.

"I mean..." The petite, blue haired girl continued. "Were...were you disappointed to find out that Santa was really your mom and dad..?"

Asuka inhaled deeply at the mention of the parental units, and slowly let the willowy smoke from the condensation emerge from within her lips and nose.

"Rei, you're really drunk...don't tell me you feel bad for working in a toy store during this time of year..."

Rei sobered up, almost as if some one had taken her mind of a deep trance. "Huh-wha..?" She turned around in a hazy manner before looking up at Asuka's standing form. "Hey Asuka...I need you to come with me tomorrow..." Rei said as she clumsily withdrew her pocket book from her hand bag, opening it to a picture of a smiling Rei flanked by two guys.

"He is my brother, the other one is my boyfriend, he plays classical music." Rei said through half lidded eyes, smiling lazily, humming the first notes of a melody composed by a German musician.

The one on her left was the same as Rei, fair skinned, milky white with red eyes, but while Rei dyed her hair blue, he chose a grey color instead. The one on her right had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen; dark blue, like the stormy waters of the sea before a hurricane, like the cloudy sky during a storm, he had a sorrowful deep look in his eyes, like a poet trying to express in words the thousand feeling coursing thru his mind.

Finally, Rei opened her eyes slowly, noticing her surroundings. "Hey Asuka..." Rei asked, breaking the red head from her daze. "What are we doing here..? I thought we were gonna party tonight...Misato-san said so..."

Asuka chuckled, grabbing Rei by her arm and lifting her up, grunting at the force exerted. "She did, and we did...now let's get going...I need to go home and you..." Asuka said as she adjusted Rei's cap and scarf. "You need to go up...it's freezing..." Rei said nothing but made her way to the stairs.

"Hey Asuka..." Rei turned from the stairs, before closing the door. "You're coming tomorrow to Misato's and Kaji's for the Christmas dinner, aren't ya..?"

Asuka simply smiled at that. "Good night Rei..." She simply said, walking down the road.

Rei smiled sadly, closing the door. "Why are you so sad, Asuka..?" She wondered out loud, before turning the front light off. "Why don't you ever talk about your parents..?"

**Asuka doesn't hate her parents; not her father, nor her stepmother. She simply feels like a hypocrite, because she can't love her stepmother fully since her stepmother could never replace her real mother.**

----- ----- ----- -----

Maybe it was because she was drunk, but for Asuka, the walk from Rei's apartment building never took this long. She sighed, snuggling her coat closer to her body.

"I should've stayed at Rei's..." She muttered, glancing up. a brief flash of white caught the corner of her eyes. "Wha...is it the first snowfall..?" She said absentmindedly before she felt something cold make contact with her forehead.

For a snowflake, this was something cold but hard.

"OWWW..!" Asuka screamed at the impact, getting up and grabbing her throbbing forehead.

"What the hell was that for..?" She screamed to no-one in particular, her hand still over her eyes. She finally got around to opening her eyes, seeing the white street lights dancing around her face.

"If I find out who did I'll shove my foot up your a..." Asuka trailed off as she caught sight of something silvery white and metallic glistening from the floor.

"What's this..?" She asked herself out loud, crouching to get a better look at it. It resembled a Christian cross, shiny and white but with the design of a snowflake across it's center. Curiously she picked it up.

"A MEDALLION..!!" Asuka proceeded to scream, not caring the hour of the night. "WHO THE HELL THROWS A MEDALLION OUT THE WINDOW..?"

As she continued making her way to the apartment, nursing her head and grumbling about lousy presents someone hates so much they'd rather throw it at innocent bystanders than wear it, she felt a cold breeze. Deciding to hurry up to her apartment, she proceeded to open the door, place her keys on the table and make her way to her room, discarding the boots, the coat, the scarf and all other pieces of clothing in a sloppy and unsexy striptease. She put her pajamas on and went to bed.

----- ----- ----- -----

The dreams were, as all ways, disturbing.

_"Papa, where is Mama going..?"_

_"Asuka, Mama is sick, she needs to go to the hospital for a little while so she could get better."_

_It was Christmas Eve. The house was alive with the colors of the holiday; everywhere one could turn they saw green and red and white and golden and silver. The kitchen was filled with the spicy smell of cinnamon, and nutmeg, and everything was mixed with the ever-present pungent smell of fresh pine. _

_And outside, she heard as the carolers broke into laughter and singing as if to mock her laughing at her anguish, playing with her pain. _

_Almost as if the entire world had gone completely deaf._

_She felt her eyes sting and get hazy, the signs of tears to come. Sniffling the little red head made her way across the empty halls and towards the chimney, climbing into her father's favorite chair and snuffled into the blanket her mother had been wearing over her shoulders, still lingering with her distinctive smell; sugar and spice and pine and nutmeg, flour and bread and turkey and eggnog._

_Slowly, the trickle of tears began to form, and then the little girl was grown up, still trembling, still holding the blanket, the sound of ragged weeping coming from within._

"_Merry Christmas, Asuka-chan…" She softly said through her sobbings, clutching the fabric closer to herself._

"Uhmm...S-sorry..." She heard a distant and unmistakably male voice. Thinking this just a side effect of being in a deep slumber, Asuka turned around from to her side from her back.

"Uh...Miss...Miss Soryu..?" She felt someone prodding her shoulder and clumsily, sleepily opened her eyes, gradually becoming aware of her surroundings. Yawning, she turned to her back and stared ahead.

Into a pair of deep dark blue eyes.

It took several seconds for Asuka's bedridden brain and it's higher functions to kick into gear, but when it did, and she became aware of what was going on she reacted as predictably as always.

"AAACK...! PERVERT..!" Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs, scrambling frantically towards the door still in pajamas.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to scare you...it's just that a while ago I dropped something and I think you have it."

"STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERT!!" Asuka screamed, holding a chair in front of her as if she were a lion tamer, putting it between herself and the young man in front of her. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU..? SOME KIND OF BURGLAR..? A RAPIST..?" She screamed while throwing the chair at him.

Only to watch it stop a few inches from him, apparently colliding into an invisible wall, creating orange colored, octagon shaped ripples in thins air.

"No, actually I'm Santa Claus..."

Asuka then noticed several interesting things.

The chair she had lunged was steadily floating, before coming down slowly to the place where she had taken it.

The man was dressed in the typical red outfit of Santa Claus, and except for the thin frame and the lack of beard, he somehow was able to pull it off.

But more importantly, he was floating. In the middle of her living room.

To Asuka's credit, she never stopped to think it through. As quickly as humanly possible, she ran to her door, screaming at the top of her lungs. In one swift move, she opened the door and ran down the stairs, not noticing or caring for the coldness she felt on her bare feet. All she could think was to run away, to get away.

Until somehow her feet got tangled and she saw the stairs up close and personal, falling down the stairs towards the ground. Before she made contact and broke her arm, or neck, however, she felt something much more warmer, much more softer and fuzzy against her cheeks. Blinking, she noticed she was also floating several inches above ground.

She also noticed how her face was in his lap.

In an utter state of shock Asuka saw as his blue eyes danced merrily, looking at her with childish curiosity.

"Oh...I get it..." He said smiling warmly and openly at her. "It's my appearance right..? Maybe this would be better..." He said, just as his image began to change, Asuka could feel him become more round, more cushiony. His face and frame became rounder, the Santa suit bulging at his expanding girth. His face, before clean shaven and youthful, now full of wrinkles, with a long beard growing. Before his hair was a dark color, now it was as white as the snow.

All in all, the young thin man that only seconds ago had been supporting her in thin air, was now the spitting image of Santa Claus, going so far as to laugh in a rich, rumbly Ho-ho-ho, making his belly shook when he laughed.

"Just like a bowl full of jelly..." Asuka said in wonder, before blacking out.

----- ----- ----- -----

They were back at the apartment, and Santa Claus had just placed a cup of hot tea in front of this Asuka. He sat in front of her and gave her a mischievous smile.

"Well then...if you're done..." He straightened his cap. "I am Santa Claus..."

Asuka simply nodded, her eyes glazed.

"Earlier today, I was a bit careless..." He said, blushing. "And I...I dropped a pendant..."

Asuka stood with the same expression.

"Are you listening..?" Santa Claus asked, concerned, making Asuka come to her senses.

"Huh..? I m-mean yes... U-uhh...Santa Claus..?" She felt her tongue get tied, the feeling of saying Santa Claus to an actual being foreign, like wool on her mouth. When she was able to finally come to terms, she leaned over, and prodded his big belly, making him squeal with laughter like the dough boy from the commercials.

"So…you really are Santa..." She said slowly, Santa simply nodding at that. "And this..." She said, as she placed the pendant that had clicked her earlier in the evening on the table. "Should be yours..."

"Yes...Thank you Miss..." Santa said, smiling and chuckling, as he clasped the pendant in front of him. "I can't lose it...I can't get back to the North Pole without it."

After finally placing it correctly, and putting it inside his redcoat, Santa turned to Asuka.

"Now, to show my appreciation...I'd love to give you whatever you want as a token of my appreciation." Santa chuckled at Asuka's gasp of surprise. "How about that pony you wanted when you were 5 Asuka..?"

"Y-you can do that..?"

"Well...There are limits to what I can do, although you are a bit grown up for a pony..." He chuckled. "Not to mention it would be kind of hard to explain his presence to the landlady..."

"Guess you are right..."

Santa's eyes glinted. Without a word he took her hand within his. "Let me see what you really want..." He said, closing his eye and concentrating, smiling softly. He sensed her thoughts.

Wow...Santa is in my house. Wonder if he can actually get me the pony...or maybe that Barbie doll...Nah!! I'm a little older for dolls. Hmm...he looked really cute before he became all white and fat and wrinkly...wonder if he would go back to looking like that...No!! Bad, bad Asuka...I've been hanging too much with Misato.

Santa Claus simply chuckled, noticing Asuka's thoughts.

But he was really, really cute. I wished I...I wish I could spend Christmas with a guy as cute as that...

"Well..." Santa was glad that his rosy cheeks were already red; it would be hard and embarrassing to explain to the red-head in front of him why he was blushing. "I think I know what you want..."

"Really..?" Asuka gulped, nervous.

"Yes. It is a common misconception that Santa Claus carries material presents, when in reality what I give is rarely material." He said a she made hand gestures, making different toys and gifts of all shapes and sizes appear from thin air.

"The best gift I give good little kids are dreams..." He finished, making everything disappear with a snap of his fingers.

"Dreams..?" Asuka asked, feeling like a little kid, feeling the innocence she had long thought lost warming her heart.

Feeling, not for the first time, that she could really use a good cry.

"Yes. Dreams. Dreams being dreams are almost always forgotten; they're visions of things people enjoy, things that give them joy and happiness." He snapped his fingers and a small powder blue pony appeared in front of Asuka.

"When you wake up snap He's gone..." He snapped his fingers again, and this time a worn plush toy, resembling a super deformed monkey appeared in Asuka's hands.

"But for that brief period of time, you felt a happiness unto itself so perfect, so precious, that it makes the giver happy...That's Christmas..." Santa Claus then placed his hands on either side of Asuka's temples and whispered to her in a calm, soothing voice, crisp and clear.

"Think about what would bring you joy. If you liked…some one..." Asuka blushed, knowing subconsciously what he was referring to. "You might just find him in your dreams."

Asuka felt something wet making contact with her forehead, and felt her eyelids get heavier, and heavier, feeling sleepier and sleepier.

----- ----- ----- -----

_It was Christmas Eve. The house was alive with the colors of the holiday; everywhere one could turn they saw green and red and white and gold and silver. The kitchen was filled with the spicy smell of cinnamon, and nutmeg, and everything was mixed with the ever-present pungent smell of fresh pine. _

_And outside, she heard as the carolers broke into laughter and singing, only this time she didn't feel that oppressive weight in her chest, didn't feel like they were mocking or laughing at her anguish, her pain. _

_She felt a brimming feeling of hope, making it foreboding for her to open her eyes from within the great recliner she had fallen asleep, the blanket her mother had been wearing over her shoulders, still lingering with her distinctive smell; sugar and spice and pine and nutmeg, flour and bread and turkey and eggnog._

_Slowly, she felt the tears began to form, and then the little girl was grown up, still trembling, still holding the blanket, the sound of ragged weeping coming from within_

_"Asuka-chan...Are you all right..?" She felt the blanket being taken away, and when she opened her eyes saw that her Mother an her Father were in front of her, just like they had before her mother..._

_Widening her eyes, and suckling a sniffle, Asuka stared and said nothing, it was until her mother and father extended their arms that Asuka leapt from the chair into their embrace, fusing in a tight group hug, her sniffing and crying being hushed by her father and mother, stroking her head, comforting her and promising everything would be all right._

_Making her feel warm and safe and secure once again._

_And just as faintly, she saw the image of a thin, handsome young man with dark blue eyes smiling warmly at her. Just as faintly she could swear she heard him mutter something._

_"Merry Christmas, Asuka-chan..."_

----- ----- ----- -----

Outside, Santa Claus held Asuka's head in his lap, smiling thoughtfully, seeing her eyes filled with tears. He knelt down and kissed her forehead lightly, washing away her tears.

"Asuka...you're supposed to be having pleasant dreams...why are you crying..?"

Making up his mind, and deciding to give her what her heart desired the most; his image changed again before shimmering and disappearing like a bubble being burst, splashing Asuka with twinkling dust, covering her now calmed face; her eyes no longer shedding tears; her mouth forming a peaceful smile.

----- ----- ----- -----

_"Asuka-chan, hurry up, your friends will be here shortly." Her mother smiled, finally calming Asuka and convincing her to go upstairs and wash her hand._

_"I'm ready Mamma..." Asuka smiled. She, like her mother, were dressed in a red felt-like Santa Claus long sleeve dress; her skirt coming down mid thigh, her red boots topped with faux white fur, just like her Santa hat and sleeves, top and bottom of the dress. She walked down and was greeted by her father, who smiled at her before shaking his head at her dress._

_'"Asuka, cover yourself..." He said sternly, wagging his finger at her. Asuka smiled and placed the short cape, also of red felt and with the same white trimmings as her dress and boots. _

_"Much better." Her father said smiling "But the skirt is much too short..."_

_"Papa, I wear this type of skirts all the time."_

_"Yes, and you always end up punching some poor fellow and calling him a pervert."_

_"Well..." Asuka huffed, still smiling "But that's how I met this guy."_

_"Ah yes..." her father said absentmindedly, placing some tobacco in his pipe ."The mystery man you are going to finally introduce us to today." Mister Soryu said, smirking at her daughter. "Your boyfriend right..?"_

_"Papa..." Asuka blushed turning around. "H-he's not my boyfriend..." She bit her lip and finished softly. "At least not yet..."_

_Her father frowned, before smiling again. "Very well liebchein...I just hope they make it..."_

_DING DONG._

_Before he could finish, the deep brass chimes of the doorbell signaled the arrival of the guest. Running towards the great oak doors, Asuka opened them to be greeted with Rei's smiling face, behind her Touji and Hikari, and Kensuke and Mayumi were standing with their arms full of gifts._

_"Merry Christmas..." All five shouted happily, making their way inside._

_"Rei..." Asuka pulled her friend aside. "I thought your family was driving you here..."_

_"They did..." Rei Answered. "My parents and my brother are coming; they're just parking the car."_

_Without a word, Rei parent came inside, She was the spitting image of her mother, except for the blue hair, since Rei's mother had short brown hair. Her father was almost as tall as Asuka's dad, with a short dark beard framing his jaw line, and tinted glasses. He looked intimidating until he saw her and smiled._

_"Rei has told me all about you..." He smiled, turning back. "This is Rei's brother."_

_He was tall and thin, with a soft, gentle smile and quiet shy eyes. His hair was almost as white as Rei's, and his hair was gray, probably dyed. Rei had mentioned, after all he was a musician, just like her boyfriend._

_"How are you..?" He asked in quiet tones, almost as if he were too shy to even speak._

_"Fine, thank you." Asuka smiled at him. Behind her, Mr. Soryu was already making good friends with Rei's dad, and she could hear both their mothers chatting away._

_"Well then I guess we can begin then..."Asuka told no one in particular, seeing all of them chatting away. Just as she was to close the door, some one held it open gently._

_Asuka turned to look into familiar dark blue eyes. A warm smile on his lips. "Hi, I'm..." The stranger paused, his eyebrows furrowing not sure of how to continue._

_"Oh. He's here with me..." Rei said suddenly, dragging him inside by his arm. Asuka felt something stir side but said nothing, focusing instead on the party._

----- ----- ----- -----

_As with all things the party was ending; they had spend the morning riding horses, and the afternoon skating on the frozen pond. They had drank cup after cup of hot beverages, coca and cinnamon coffee, nutmeg and eggnog, gingerbread lattes and spicy chai tea. And all throughout the day, Asuka had felt, for the first time in many years, peace of heart. Deciding to spend some time by herself in the quiet stillness of the night, she opened one of the doors to the courtyard and walked outside, pulling on the long red cape her mother had been wearing before discarding it, saying the spiced rum was making her warm._

_"Are you enjoying yourself..?" A male voice questioned behind her, making her turn in surprise, the same stranger that had arrived with Rei was standing nest to her, admiring the night sky. She blushed when she felt the proximity of his skin next to her._

_"Yes, it was a beautiful party."_

_"It was thrown by a beautiful hostess..." He said quietly, not looking at her. "You got a ton of presents..." He said in a lighter tone, smiling dazzlingly at her in a manner it reminded her of Kaji._

_"Well...yes...thank you..." She said, blushing. "But you never got one..." Asuka said, noticing for the first time the stranger, although he had participated in the various daily activities had never received a present from anyone._

_"Well..." He began, shrugging. "It's not like I need anything, and besides, if everyone else is happy, then I am happy." He responded._

_"Well then...what if I told you it would make me happy to give you a present..?" Asuka asked smiling, making him stare at her strangely, as if considering her answer. When it all started to click in, his eyes widened to twice their size, and a pinkish hue began to cover his cheeks._

_"W-well..." He stuttered, not knowing what to say or how to say it for the matter. "I-I've never considered what someone might give me..." he said, before smiling sadly and noticing the great clock planted firmly on the center of the courtyard._

_The sounds of twelve chimes were heard, and he smiled sadly, turning towards her. "I'm sorry...but I..."_

_"You have to leave..." Asuka finished for him sadly._

_"Yes..." He said quietly, before placing his hands on her shoulders. "Asuka-chan...Christmas with you has been really unique...I thank you for that..." He leaned towards her, mere inches separating them._

_"I know what you can give...but it's up to you to decide so..."_

_"Wh-what do you want me to give you..?" Asuka asked in equally quiet tones, looking directly into his eyes._

_"Before I tell you...I have to give everyone else their presents…" He said, cupping his hands in front of her, a faint glow, diaphanous and shimmering at the same time emerging from within his palms, slowly he began to open them, a shiny black round object, similar to a pearl located inside._

_"Have pleasant dreams everyone, and a merry Christmas to all..." He told the sphere, before releasing it into the night sky, a multitude of small firefly-like lights coming from within. As they left his hands and found his targets, he felt their yearns, their desires._

_He felt their hearts and their hopes, their dreams and their wishes. And he felt moisture in the corner of his eyes._

_"So this is why you were crying..." He muttered, letting the tears flow freely. "When people remember their happiest moments, they can't help but cry..." He muttered softly. Wiping his tears with his sleeves, he turned to Asuka._

_"Asuka-chan...Before I go...can you give me my gift..?"_

_Asuka stood there, then, without thinking, she slowly closed the distance between them. She cupped his face in her hands and standing on her tipi-toes she inched his and her lips closer._

_It was a soft, tentative kiss. Like two people who barely knew each other shook their hands. Slowly, the kiss began to deepen, like two long lost friends enveloping the other into a hug, emotions so powerful, yet so pure words weren't the perfect medium for them to be explained._

_Slowly, he began to shimmer, a low enveloping him from the inside, growing out towards the night. His figure began to grow faint against the night light, and Asuka felt a moist warm presence on her mouth, before that same presence changed from warm into cold._

**It was mere days afterwards that Shinji Ikari came back to Tokyo to stay for good, and he and Asuka Langley Soryu were reunited in this world as well. **

----- ----- ----- -----

"ACHOOO!!!"

With a start, Asuka woke up, scratching her nose and sniffling. Yawning, she noticed the sun was starting to go up, and saw her clock.

7.00 A.M. 12/26/2006

Yawning again, Asuka got up and walked towards her bathroom, feeling something pull at the back of her head. A distant memory, something that felt out of place, but held a non-threatening aura, making her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Silently, she took a hot shower, and brushed her teeth. After several minutes, she got out the bathroom and padded to her room, toweling herself dry. She emerged putting on a black skirt and pulling an ivory turtle neck sweater over her head.

Just as she was finishing getting dressed, she heard her cell phone's ring tone with the familiar _"Anta Baka..?"_ scream that had made her both feared and respected in high school and college.

"Hey Stooge..." She smiled, already in banter mode.

_"Asuka it's me Hikari..."_

"Whaa...Hikari..? What are you doing talking from the stooge's phone..?"

_"Don't you remember..? Yesterday at the party we all said we'd accompany Rei to the train station..."_

Hazily, the memories came back to Asuka, something that seemed doff, yet so right at the same time.

_"We were wondering if you were home so we could come by and grab a bite to eat..." _Hikari's voice drew her to the real world again.

"But...you and Touji live on the other part of town, what gives..?"

_"Asuka..."_ The red head could clearly hear the strain on her friend's voice. "_We came here with Mayumi, Kensuke and Rei to pick up somebody, but the main road is closed 'cause of the snow We are about 5 minutes away from your apartment and Rei said she wasn't able to buy anything to eat, so..."_

"Well..." Asuka sighed as she cradled the phone on her shoulder and peered inside the fridge. "Hate to tell you, but all I have is..."

Asuka blinked, closing the door and opening it gain to make sure she wasn't seeing things. In front of her, a good sized Christmas cake topped with whipped cream and strawberries with the familiar figure of Santa made from sugar greeted her. This Santa, however was not covered with a creamy beard, but was rather clean shaver, sporting chocolate hair under the red conical hat.

He also had a pair of dark blue eyes painted with frosting.

_"So can we come..?"_

"Y-yeah..." Asuka said, shakily, trying to remember when was she able to buy the cake if she came home directly after the party and had no memories of getting up earlier to buy it, or of any cake shop opening before 8.00 a.m.

"I guess you can come...I'll put on some tea and we can have the Christmas cake."

_"Great...we'll see you in a couple..."_

----- ----- ----- -----

"Hey Asuka...how was Christmas morning...?" Hikari asked as she came into the small flat, taking of her beanie and gloves. Behind her Touji, Mayumi, and Kensuke walked saying their hellos.

"Ugh...I felt like I had slept for a couple of days straight..." She exited the kitchenette and gave each of them two cups of steaming hot tea. "Where's wonder girl..?"

Just as she had finished asking about her, Rei walked inside; behind her was a young man their same age, with a quiet, shy smile, dark brown hair and dark blue eyes. Asuka felt something stir deep within herself. Silently she motioned Hikari to come with her to the kitchenette.

"Hey Hikari...who is that..? The musician boyfriend who plays classical music..?"

"Who..?" Hikari asked innocently, just as she motioned for Mayumi and Rei to come towards them.

"Asuka..." Rei said as she held a quiet smile. "This is Shinji...Shinji Ikari..."

He held out his hand "Nice to meet you." He said with a faint smile, as if he remembered her from someplace.

"Like wise." Asuka quietly responded, feeling a jolt of electricity pass thru their fingertips when they touched. Just then, she heard both boys and the three girls gasp. In confusion, both she and Shinji looked upwards, following their smiling faces.

Directly on top of them a mistletoe branch was hanging form the tinsel covering the entrance to the kitchen area.

"Uh…" Shinji stuttered, not looking at Asuka. "you really don't have to if you don't want to…" He bean before a brief memory of something that felt like a dream flashed thru her mind.

_"Asuka-chan...Before I go...can you give me my gift..?"_

Without thinking, Asuka slowly cupped his face within her hands. Standing on her tipi-toes, she inched his lips closer to hers.

And everyone else witnessed in surprise how this two complete strangers who had never seen each other before this day exchanged a kiss that made the current couples take notes for future references.

"You see Rei…" Hikari began, once she was able to unhinge her mouth and close it. "And you doubted they would hit it off…"

----- ----- ----- -----

_AN: Well...The whole idea was adapted from a short chapter from the Ai-Ao (Ai Yori Aoshi) Manga, vol. 5 from TOKYOPOP pgs. 105-146. At first, I though about making Asuka the Santa Claus and Shinji...well...Shinji. However, even though it would have been funny as hell to write Asuka as an anger-prone Santa ghost, I felt Shinji had a more "Santaness" about him._

_Immense thanks go to ERROR809 for his proofreading abilities; if this stinking pile of horse-crap is the least enjoyable he had a lot to do; other wise it would look like this:_

"_OMG Shinji I LAWD U"_

"_OMG ASUKA I LUV U 2."_

_Brrrr…_

_The thing I like about AU's such as these is that you can have some artistic liberties when dealing with the setting and the character dynamics, as well as their characteristics. I know that Asuka came as OOC on several parts of the story (including the dream sequence) but keep in mind that_

_They are older, hence more mature. And_

_They were drunk, so the interaction between Asuka and Rei while OOC for them both, fall between the intoxicated "I-like-you-eventhogu-i-hate-you" drunken ramble._

_On a side note, Betcha everyone reading this thought Rei's musician boyfriend was Shinji. Heh. Sorry about the misleads and red herrings. The thing is, Rei never mentioned her brother's name or his appearance through out the story, as well as her father nor her mother. Asuka's dream made the assumption that Rei's brother should share her same genetic make up, hence Kaworu. I was thinking of introducing Yui and Gendo as Mr. and Mrs. Ayanami, but figured that would be a bit too much._

_Hope you liked it. A better story than this, so good that, on a subconscious level, I'm sure I probably based some of this story's scenes and phrases, is **Christmas Cards or Riding Through Tokyo3** by Klaus. You should definitely check it out. _

_Also, this was made before Zentrodi's posting of his Omake for **What We Make of It**. No intention to double team on the setting or the concept._

_Like it..? Hate it..? Tell me why...meanwhile..._

_Mr. Blair has left the building._


	3. Kiss 23, Way 15

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka **

**Themes: K-23 (Candy) W-15 (I'll protect you) **

**Title: Groping in the Darkness**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly. The setting is…well…you know they'll end up kissing, so I'm not gonna spoil the ending._**

_**Nyah!**_

**----- ----- ----- ----- **

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other. **_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

**----- ----- ----- ----- **

"Stop it, Shinji! You're hurting me!"

"Wait a minute. Let me move it a little to the left."

"OWWW-THAT HURT IDIOT."

"Sorry…" Shinji said meekly. "There. Is it better..?" His breath so close Asuka could feel the warm, moist caress of it in her cheek.

Unfortunately, that was all she could do…feel. Seeing was out of the question as her world was currently plunged in darkness.

"No. It's not better." Asuka grumbled, whishing he couldn't see her blush.

"Try backing up."

"I tried that already. I told you. IT'S STUCK..!!" The red head shouted, making a fuss of the motion, hoping he could see it.

"I'm sorry…" Shinji said, reeling back, swiftly evading the punch aimed at his shoulder. "Should I push on your shoulders?" He asked from a safe distance, happy that Asuka couldn't mover her arms farther than that.

Asuka whined, "I don't know. I'm just so tired. I want out of here and into my own warm bed."

"I promise," Shinji assured her, struggling again, strain clearly coating his voice. "As soon as we get home I'll draw you a hot bath. I'll even make those bratwursts you are so fond of."

But Asuka wasn't so easily moved. "You'll do that…for starters." She flashed a feral smile. "I think I might need a full body massage as well…"

Shinji knew he was being bullied around, but he also knew this whole fiasco, and Asuka's current plight was all is fault, so he did the wisest thing one could ever do when confronting Asuka Langley Soryu.

He yielded.

Besides, the prospect of being able to give Asuka a full body massage, and thus being able to watch her bare back and legs was always a bonus on his book.

"Yes, and I'll personally massage all your sore muscles. " Shinji tried to sound nonchalant, and failed miserably.

"And a foot massage…" Asuka wasn't about to let the opportunity slip by. She glared thru the darkness enveloping her eyes hoping her tone of voice could convey the message clearly.

"Yes. A foot massage as well."

Asuka scoffed, "That's a good thing. My right foot is beginning to cramp up."

They remained quiet for a moment, both trying to fully understand the mess they were in and trying to come with a solution for it. Still sightless, Asuka could only focus on the rest of her senses. She could smell Shinji's scent, could feel his whole presence, the warmth emanating from his body,. She could hear his faint breathing, deep intakes of air followed by the quiet exhalation from his nose. She could also taste his sweat, intermingled with her own sweat. She slowly began to feel slightly aroused and prayed once again that Shinji wasn't able to see her forming blush.

Or notice how she pressed her legs together.

"I have an idea." His voice cut thru the tension and the stillness, shattering the quiet in the dark.

"What?" She felt his hands softly, almost reverently enveloping her leg, almost afraid that it might break.

"Trust me." Shinji simply whispered, making Asuka shudder; she felt her mouth go dry and attempted to reassert control with a quip.

"The last time I trusted you, you never said it would hurt this much."

"I'm sorry…" Shinji had the decency to sound flustered.

"Okay. Point taken." Asuka sighed "I guess that was your idiot way of trying to be helpful." Asuka's voice trailed off. "But I have to say, next time, we try if without the harness first. I'm new to the whole scene, and I don't appreciate being suspended by my hands and arms. If you had thought it thru, then my hands would have been free. And we would have tried it first in the bedroom instead of outside."

"I don't think we could manage to pull this off in the bedroom." Shinji sounded perplexed, making Asuka realize that he didn't get the sexual pun. "Besides, I'm sure the RA's at the dorms would flip when she saw us like this."

"Nah…Hikari's cool…" Asuka grunted offhandedly, twisting and attempting to get free again. Shinji gasped when he saw the ropes straining.

"Asuka, please stop I'm sure you'll only get it tighter if you continue to push it in."

Asuka's grunts turned into a snicker, and finally gave in to a giggle. "You're right, it's pretty tight. For the last three or four hours, I've been having to turn my head sideways just to make my neck rest. I wonder how low the ceiling is, anyway." She asked as she turned her sightless eyes to the top.

"How big is your foot..?"

To say Shinji's question broke the intimate, trusting mood was an oxymoron. Asuka's nose and face scrunched as she attempted to understand the logic behind the moronic question.

"My foot..?"

"How long is your foot, in inches?" She could sense Shinji's face so close to her, the combination if senses; smell, feel, taste…all blurred themselves and where making her horn-wait…Shinji was speaking again.

"…That way I can probably get you out of here."

Asuka attempted to gather the conversation but came out blank, so she did what was more asy for her.

She exploded.

"What kind of moronic question is that..? I don't know how big my foot is because I've never measured it..." Asuka forced herself calm as soon as she felt Shinji slowly inching away. Calm down, deep calming breathes, never mind the pressure she felt on her breast every time she took one of those deep calming breaths.

"How would I know..?" Asuka grumbled under her breath. "It's a size eleven. That would be a size ten in men's shoes."

"Your foot would literally be a foot long, then." Shinji pondered quietly, before a snicker escaped his mouth.

"That's kinda funny, don't you think..?"

"Yeah, Shinji; really funny…" Asuka blew the hair from her face before shouting in, what she hoped to be, Shinji's general direction. "Get your ass up here and help me down, idiot."

Immediately after, she felt someone fidgeting with the rope circling her ankle.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to untangle your foot. Maybe you can wiggle your foot out and then I can get the boot unstuck." Shinji explained. "There. Give it a try."

"Ouch!"

"What's the matter?"

"Dammit dammit dammit," Asuka grumbled. "I hurt my knee. I can't bend my leg without digging my knee into the tree where we tied everything for support." She sighed. "It's no use. There's just no room to move."

After a long silence, Asuka said. "You're awfully quiet, Shinji. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we need to get you out of here." He said in a quiet, and what he hoped sounded like a reassuring tone. "There's nothing left to do but for me to pound the back while you push as hard as you can backwards. It's the only way to untangle it."

Meekly, Asuka agreed. "Just don't break anything, please."

"I promise." Shinji gently cupped her face in his hand, conveying as much resolve and sincerity as he could on his voice. "Don't worry; I'll protect you." Gently he placed his lips on hers for a brief butterfly-like kiss, earning a smile from the redhead.

"Ready?"

"Yes." Asuka said taking in a deep breath, resolve clearly in her voice. "I'm ready."

"Push." Shinji simply commanded. "Again." He panted. "Again." He gasped.

"Ow, ow, ow." Asuka grunted in rhythm.

"Keep pushing. I'm going to pound it a little harder now."

"I am pushing! Ow ow! Stop..!"

"What's the matter..?" Shinji asked, breathless.

"What do you think..? My ass hurts; I've been in the same position for almost an hour now…"

"Hey, this isn't doing me any good either." Shinji complained.

A soft whimper was all the answer he got from the usually outspoken redhead

"I'm sorry, Asuka...Please don't cry."

"I'm not crying." Asuka protested, in a whispering sob.

"Yes, you are. I can hear you." Shinji whispered back.

"Well, do you blame me..?" Asuka whimpered. "I'm tired, I'm sore and I'm stuck. Don't tell me not to cry." Under her breath, Asuka added. "Idiot."

"I heard that, too."

"You wanna hear something else..? I'm scared,,!"

"Scared..? There's nothing to be scared of." Shinji responded automatically. "We'll get you out."

"Before it rains..?" Asuka asked dully.

"Rain..? It's not supposed to rain today." Shinji said absentmindedly.

"_Mein Gott_..!" Asuka snorted. "Did you even check the weather report before you brought me here..? It could be raining right now. There could be a wall of water headed right for us!"

"Is it supposed to rain..?"

"You tell me," Asuka said sarcastically. "It was your job to find out, Mr. Lets-try-something-exciting."

"No, I'm sure it wasn't." Shinji assured himself. "I'm pretty sure."

Asuka doubted completely his ability of self-preservation, and she voiced her disapproval in a seething voice. Over their heads, a distant rumble could be heard.

This was quickly followed by the soft _pit-pat_ made by the falling drizzle.

"I'm pretty sure I hate you at this moment."

After another silence, Shinji asked, "Want me to go for help?"

"And leave me here?" Asuka asked in a panic. "Not on your life! I want to berate you some more. Besides…" She added with a snarl, "'till death do us part and all that. If I'm going to drown down here, so are you."

"How romantic." He muttered

"You'd better think romantic, 'cause you know you're not getting any for a least a month after this." Asuka made a wide movement with her suspended body, legs and arms flailing around when suddenly…

"Ouch."

"Now what..?"

"My foot. It came loose."

"Just like that..?" Shinji asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Yeah; just like that." Easily Asuka began to untangle her body from the mess or coils of ropes, harness and pulleys. "Maybe you almost had it loose before."

"Maybe." Shinji didn't sound convinced. "Can you wiggle it?"

"Yeah. It's sore, but it will work." Asuka grunted as she slowly began to lower herself. "_Gott sie Danke_. Now, let's get out of here."

"Wait," Shinji said brusquely. "I need to return all of the rented equipment." He grunted as he began to fumble about in the dark enclosed space. "Feel around to see if there's anything besides you."

"I don't feel anything." Asuka said in a clear I'm-not-moving-at-all mode.

"Hey…HEY..!" Her undignified squeal made Shinji stop. "Watch where you're groping!"

"Sorry." His response made Asuka chuckled.

"Okay. You go first. Just be careful." Under his breath and trying to make sure Asuka didn't hear him, Shinji added a soft "Bigfoot."

"That ended well…" Asuka began as she attempted to rub some feeling into her much abused appendages. "Considering I was wedged between the floor and ceiling of this stupid passageway." She dusted herself and flipped her red tresses into a messy high ponytail. "I can't believe I ended up stuck in a twelve-inch crawl space with a million tons of stone and limestone over my head. Don't ever ask me to go cave crawling with you again. You got that?"

"I promise." Shinji agreed. "Never again." He decided to add his own smart-ass remark. "Although you were the one who said that you knew the whole mechanics and that it was called spelunking…"

----- ----- ----- -----

"And that's the reason we came this late at night, not because we were doing it on the woods…" Shinji finished recounting his story to Toji as both young men shared the warmth of a cup of steaming whiskey and the fireplace from Kaji's cabin.

"Come on Man…" Toji laughed at Shinji's red face. "Like I was supposed to know it was an innocent trail outing."

"Yeah Shin-shin…" an obviously drunken Misato piped from the couch, snuggling next to Kaji. "the way you made it out, it sounded like you were more interested in pounding Asuka's back door in a kinky suspension stunt rather that spelunking…" She downed her own cup of hot whiskey.

As the night progressed, the two couples and Shinji decided to make their ways to their respective bedrooms. As Shinji entered his and Asuka's room, he went towards the red head to check on her sleep. During the night, Asuka's blanket had somehow ended pooled at her feet, and her night shirt had ridden up showing Shinji a brief peek of her panties. Chuckling to himself, Shinji grabbed the blanket and tucked Asuka in, gently kissing her in the forehead.

"Shinji…?" Asuka's sleepy voice echoed softly on the darkened room, into the stillness of the night. "Is that you..?"

"Yes, everyone's asleep Asuka…"

"Oh, Shinji..?" Asuka asked in the sweetest voice she could muster, sounding raw and gruff from her sleep and incredibly sexy in Shinji's ears. "Could you come here for a minute?" She asked a she groped fro him in the dark.

"Sure, Asuka. What's the matter?" Shinji asked leaning on his elbow and inching his way closer to Asuka.

"Are you close…?" She whispered in a sleepy voice.

"Right beside you..." Shinji smiled.

A loud slap echoed in the darkened room, breaking the stillness of the night.

"Ow..!" Shinji cried in pain, holding the side of his head. "What was that for?"

Instead of an immediate response, Asuka rolled to her side and snuggled into the blanket. The sweetness in Asuka's voice was gone as she answered.

"A third date is not supposed to end in stone. Next time just buy me some candy…" She yawned. "A box of chocolates should be fine…" She turned to a pouting Shinji and winked at him.

"Or we could try some leather…"

----- ----- ----- -----

_Author's disconcerting rambles: _

_I seriously have no clue where the hell this little piece came, although the basis for this is an actual incident that happened to me and my then girlfriend during a camping trip. Hope you liked it._

_Oh, and raise your hands who actually thought they were doing the nasty in a kinky bondage-y way…_

_Yeah…thought so…go hit the showers…COLD showers, perverts._


	4. Kiss 19, Way 25

30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka

Themes: K#19 (Red), W#25 (Shut up and listen)

Title: Colorblind

_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly._

----- ----- ----- -----

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other. **_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

----- ----- ----- -----

Red.

It was all red, as far as he could see, as long as he could see, everything since the day he met her became red, his field of vision becoming color blinded by her.

It filled his senses, rising like a sweet perfume, emanating from roses redder than blood; so red they made him blind in his eyes, so blinding he could taste the essence in his mouth; a taste so rich he cold almost feel it with his hands, caressing his skin.

And the sounds, it felt like all the peaceful and fierce sounds one would expect, like the ocean, an ocean of red one minute coming towards with the force of a thousand storms, and the next going away, recoiling in terror at his touch.

Yeah, if he had to use a force of nature to describe her, it would be the ocean.

Oh, it would be very easy to use the most common terms and analogies; the red devil, the she-beast, the heinous, contemptuous bitch from hell. They all used the color that was her signature: the ever glowing, all encompassing red.

But Shinji knew better.

She was no explosion, no raging fire; deep down she was a scared girl who used bravado and fierceness in the same way he used detachment and music.

She was the ocean, stormy at night when the dreams became nightmares and she clutched her pillow and cried herself to sleep with those heart wrenching sobs that she forced herself to quiet down to mere whimpers in the night.

Ever since the day he had come inside trying to get himself dry from the ever pounding rain that had drenched him from head to toe.

He had always hated using the terms _logical_ and _irrelevant_ for they stirred up memories he preferred to be asleep, and they left a bitter-sweet after taste, like ashes covered in syrup, but that seemed like the only way to explain his next actions; ordering something to get warm had been the next logical step.

And then she had walked into the stage as quiet as a whisper, but when the light had been trailed up on her, his whole world had changed from a color infused melancholy always painted in blue, into a fiery red, matching her hair, her long tight fitting dress.

Her very way of being.

Just for the brief moment he had stayed there nursing his drink, his world had been colorblind.

Afterwards she had come to the bar, sitting close to him, but not to close, warding of the fans that came by either smiling coquettishly and then letting them go, or by calling them perverted dirty old men in a voice that promised that, if they behaved she would do any and all they imagined with her.

But she never left.

After minutes of staring into the glass in front of them and exchanging furtive glances he decided to leave.

As he left, he could've sworn he heard her voice softly saying she played the whole week from 9 till 2.

----- ----- ----- -----

He walked back to that place several more times, her voice and herself becoming like a drug, something he needed to soothe the pain he seemed to feel with every passing moment of the clock as it ticked the seconds away.

She was many things: a glow; a light that made the darkness go away.

Warmth. She was a warm blanket that made the harsh cold truths melt away.

And then, she became someone who sat quietly next to him after every set she sang, not saying anything, just sitting there in silence, each contemplating their own life, their own fears, their own screw-ups.

Their own sense of despair.

And after that, words became a formality; a "Hello, how are you" exchanged softly while waiting for the next set or the next drink. A polite inquiry about the weather, the brief chit chat over the endless droning of the other peoples' voices.

He learned her name was Asuka and she was from abroad. She disliked dolls, and had a very quick temper, just short of a cannon fuse. She liked her coffee black and only ate the white of the eggs.

She learned his name and that he was from Japan. He was uptight, shy and timid; he would stutter and shake, and whenever he was in a tight spot, his fists would clench and unclench, and his tongue would feel like taffy getting stuck to the rof of his mouth and he would get tongue tied.

And they shared drinks more often afterwards.

He often fantasized that he was the same she was to her, because there were instants, brief moments in time when she would allow herself to be open, and be viewed in her natural state by him, and he felt a connection, a kindred soul.

And other times, especially when they left for her or his apartment, she would cling to him as if he was a life line, as if her very existence had to be reaffirmed by the notion that someone acknowledged her, that some one needed her.

That some one loved her.

It became an unspoken agreement, he would drop by any day of the week, or maybe not appear for the whole month; maybe he could see her next Tuesday after this Sunday.

He would walk and he would sit and he would shut up and listen to her sing.

And he would feel all of his problems slowly fade away with her voice.

She would sing lounge songs, she would make old rock songs into lounge songs, she would twist and turn the lyrics to suit her needs.

And then hours later, in the intimacy of their room, she would do the same to him.

But the unspoken agreement was there; this was something not described, something that shouldn't be classified.

He would leave for a month or two, doing whatever it was that he did on those times, but she would sometimes leave too; not for months but for days.

The agreement was never to ask what the other had done; they had never vocalized it, but it was explicit for them both.

Then suddenly she left, without saying a word, and Shinji became lost ever since.

A part of Shinji had been missing Asuka all along. But it wasn't really an active feeling. And it wasn't really missing.

It was more like being incomplete, like walking around not wearing your watch or your glasses.

There was a bit of him that was never quite right since they had parted ways, a change in his very nature that was small and subtle, barely noticeable, but still there. He didn't have to be thinking about her to miss her. He was just different when she wasn't around.

But tonight…tonight he missed her. He missed her, in ordinary, less abstract ways.

He missed her laugh and he missed the way she would get mad. He missed her ego and he missed the way she would cut of the yolk of her eggs and give it to him in his toast, and how she would pick at his fries while attempting not to, and how he would let her have them, pretending he didn't noticed.

He missed her voice and her striking blue eyes and he missed her soft velvety red hair, her creamy alabaster skin, and her soft pink lips.

That was what he missed the most; he missed kissing her. He never considered himself a playboy, a Casanova of any sorts; because to be one you had to be cool and smooth and calm and basically everything he was not.

But for some reason, everything went smoothly when he was with her. He couldn't make an awkward move if he wanted to. And when he did make one, she would just smile, call him an idiot and keep on walking. They just fit like pieces in a puzzle, like the letters in a game of scrabble.

They belonged.

And damnit, he missed belonging.

It was really the first time in ages that he had a physical need to be near her, that his whole body ached with longing and helplessness. He hated it. He really hated it. He didn't need this now. He just didn't need it.

But oddly…he wanted it.

He shuddered a bit as a gust of wind managed to swoop in through his coat and he hugged the cloth lamely around his body. He looked up and found he had wandered in front of the bar, his bar.

Their bar.

There was some music drifting softly out of it; "The Midnight Mass" she would call it because every night at midnight, the barman would give his towel to the mauve haired woman that was always rejecting his advances but would get red in the face if he went and lighted that blonde's cigarette. He would go to the piano and begin playing a soft, haunting tune and Asuka would unconsciously start to sing softly to it.

The music had a ghostly quality he found appropriate to his mood. He sighed and sunk down on the steps. He was suddenly feeling very weak and very tired and just generally spent. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting on the steps of the bar before someone called his name.

"Shinji…"

He looked up and saw Asuka standing there.

----- ----- ----- -----

_A.N: _

_Wow._

_This is awkward; it feels redundant and done and clichéd and everything in between both inside and outside._

_It feels like "The Hustle" all over again, but I just spent my birthday just like this; in a bar, feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self pity and then the feelings became a fire in my stomach (no, it wasn't nausea, but it felt pretty damn close), and then the fire became words, and the words became this sharp tingling sensation that you feel in the tip of your fingers that is very much like when you feel the answer to a question and have in your brain, but it's just running around and you're unable to catch it._

_And I just had to get up at 4.30 in the morning to get this piece done. _

_And just as I was putting the finishing period, my cellphone went off and she was calling me and I had to go to her._

_I ask for the forgiveness of all the close people who have graciously accepted to review the pieces of guano filled in custard that I spew around pretending to be a literary accomplishment (you can tell I still haven't gotten over the wallowing in self pity part --'), but this piece feels so personal and so…well, me (for lacks of a better word) that I just had to edit it myself and post it, because it all happened as it was written (except for the ending, of course), and because sometimes, just sometimes I like drama more than comedy, and I know that Missouri is a state that loves company (dork!)_

_Keep it real, and keep it cool, and for God's sake all you out there keep the hope._

_I did, and it paid off; it's not the lottery, but it works for me._

_That's my story and I'm sticking to it_

_Cheers._

_01.13.07 Revised and further proofread, because it is after all a half assed attempt at writing. Thanks to all that reviewed, and thanks to all for the words._


	5. Kiss 20, Way 23

30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka

Themes: K#20 (The Road Home), W#23 (What You Say, What You Mean)

Title: Re-Take After

A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly.

----- ----- ----- -----

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the _** **_Edo_****_ period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

----- ----- ----- -----

Somewhere in Berlin, past the colonial architecture, the buildings downtown that taste like centuries, that have an old, yet refined feeling to them, that have been the hideaway for years to every bohemian, every artist, every lost soul, lies a bench.

Past that bench, the road goes on, long and windy, between the green big pines, across small hills, into the countryside.

Deep into the country side, in a city so small that its name doesn't evoke anything, lies a house.

Inside that house, lies a girl.

She came to Berlin looking to escape the ghost that plagued her dreams, her very life.

She came from far east, where she used to room with a shy quiet boy and a young woman, who was sometimes more of a mother, more of a big sister, than a guardian.

She would call her names, raging from "Drunk" to "Slob".

And sometimes, depending on her mood she would mutter under her breath, coming with new and profane ways to mix and match her native German with English and Japanese.

The woman who was the head of the household would be all that and more, she would seldom clean, and her young charges would make sure she never cooked.

In hindsight, it's funny how sometimes you grow up to be exactly what you point out as character flaws in others.

----- ----- ----- -----

She woke up with a sigh, not needing to open her eyes to know that her small room was in dire need of cleaning.

She decided to put that thought out of her mind because she never liked cleaning after herself.

It also brought back memories, bitter sweet and painful; memories she had spent the better part of last year trying to out run.

However, sometimes, no matter how fast or how long you run away, these memories will never be at rest.

Mumbling, she got up from bed, her long nightgown brushing her feet.

"It's already been three months..."

In front of her, in her kitchen table was a plate with her leftovers from the other night, a round piece of bitter bread and some sausages with a glass of water. In front of her was a framed piece of paper with some Japanese characters.

She glanced at it and again, fearing the memories it would betray, decided to focus on her meager breakfast instead; some sausages and a glass mil with a round loaf of bread.. Sighing, she took a bite out of the piece of bread.

"Tastes horrible."

Seconds later, that piece of rock-hard bread flew out the window.

She closed the window, and then threw a glance at the rest of the furniture that compromised her household.

"Honestly..." she mumbled, noticing the mess." There's nothing wrong with her per se, but at this rate it'll be a long time before I ever get around to calling her mom." She mumbled, remembering that she was mere days away from going to eat as she had promised with her.

The computer desk was cluttered with books, pages, essays and what not, but amidst it all, a small CD caught her eyes. It contained saved messages; e-mails and memos form the time she had lived in the fortress city in Tokyo-3, but on this particular day, a line kept replaying over and over in her head and her eyes with a simple set of characters:

シンジ

Curiously, she popped the disk inside and began to take a look at it's contents.

"I did mention that I would like my old status report so I could brush up on my Japanese..." she said softly. "I just never thought they'd take me up on that offer." She clicked aimlessly around the screen , skimming past the obvious girly babble.

"_I arrived safely into this joke of a city after a brief encounter with the angel, nothing someone of my greatness couldn't handle, of course. I even had a chance to show that idiot third child a thing or two, though I gotta admit he is no Kaji...Being able to be on a boat with manliest man among men, a veritable Cadillac amongst these mere sedans I-"_

"But..." she sighed closing the page quickly as she imagined herself, a fresh 14 year old trying to get the attention of a man she could now only see as an older sibling. "I have to say, even for me these are pretty boring..."

-click- the sound of the mouse made the next screen appear. She smiled as she read each one of the reports, slowly at first, before all the knowledge she had of the language came back.

"_-stupidest trio of stooges I have ever laid my eyes on...you know Curly, Larry and Moe? Well this trio is conformed by Jock, Nerd and a Wimp. The jock seems to think that he's in charge, but I know better. the leader is no other than Ikari. He's such a wimp and a pervert! How he ever became an Eva pilot is beyond me! His selection must have been a joke! I swe-_"

-click- She smiled in spite of herself remembering her life and times at Tokyo high.

"_-had no choice but to go live with that joke of a guardian. Kaji is not even here all the time, but I really wanted to let him know that I'm tired of living in these awful barracks! So now I'll be living with Shinji and Misato. Can you believe it? We had a little party because somehow Misato actually got promoted to Major. I invited Hikari and Kaji; we had a great time but Misato ended up taking all of Kaji's time and she did nothing besid-_"

-click- The first time she saw him past the sync tests and as a normal boy, the mousy demeanor, how hard it was to make him smile and be him.

"_-Today, Shinji made a big mistake. That idiot got all arrogant and en-_"

Her eyed widened, remembering that day.

How anxious she had been, how terrified and angry and how she just wanted to let it all out, how she just wanted to let herself open and scream and cry and shout and tell him and her and all of them how useless they all were.

How useless that stupid idiot had been for allowing himself to get swallowed up by that huge black void, how useless that drunken slut had been for telling her to step down, how useless NERV was for actually thinking the only way for him to survive was to drop several thousand N-2's and pray and hope for the best.

-click-

"_-Shinji came back today. Thanks to him, we all had to take another synchronization test. Of course, I won, but for a second there, Shinji was actually able to surpass me. It was a fluke, I'm sure of it because Shinji surely does not have the will or the responsibility t-_"

"Th-these..." She muttered, scanning the screen again, trying to see if she had missed something, taking in all the details willing herself to-

-click-

"_-one of the pilots, Rei, has been behaving strange lately. Not that it's unexpected I guess it's hard to actually understand her. To tell the truth I can't believe what has been happening lately myself. It's already been several months and I still have to-_"

"Are my..." She was so close and it seemed so far, and it looked as though she was walking thru the hazy fog, looking at everything thru a broken glass pieces here, glimpses there but still nothing really defined.

-click-

"_-I'm really, really, really really, really pissed at him! Damn that arrogant idiot, Ikari Shinji, the great third child! I would love to tear off his head I am supposed too be the best there is, but he easily surpassed me on his own not that is seemed like it was any difficult for him. I guess I'm not neede-_"

"These are..." She gasped, still looking in disbelief at the screen as the soft glow emanated from it, and with it the realization, the truth of it all.

"My lost memories..."

In her mind, the fuzzy memories she had tried so hard to suppress became more defined, almost as if she had been watching them thru waxed paper, suddenly shimmering together, forming a silhouette of herself. And she herself saw what she had wrote, and she herself spoke in the same voice she was sure she had used when dictating this, when she wrote this, such a long, long time ago.

_Today, I promised him my future._

And she did, really. One of the things she had always hated about not remembering was the feeling that, if she remembered, she would do it again. All of it, without a second thought.

_Because..._

She knew, she was linked…she felt it back when she saw him on the deck of the _Over the Rainbow_, and then it was cemented when they were both doing the training to battle the twin angel.

_This is the world I'm going to be living in. _

This was her choice; this was what she believed in.

_Not as the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, but..._

Herself, just as she had been back in those days, with that dreadful bluish green pinafore high school uniform, complete with the crisp white shirt and red string tie, white socks with a red band at the top and her black leather loafers. she turned and smile and approached her, still dressed in her frilly nightshirt, almost touching her toes…

_As Asuka Langley Sohryu._

She smiled at herself, and reached for her own hand, mirroring her other self in actions, her fingers interlacing themselves, a brief content smile appearing in both their lips.

_You see, I...up until now, there had been so many things I hated… _

Her life. Her mother and father; her stepmother and NERV. She hated Germany, and Hated Japan and was really just a sad little girl, frail and scared and _why did she have to be so strong? Why did she have to appear like that?_ And she hated Misato for taking Kaji from her, and she hated Kaji for not seeing her as she wanted. She hated the third and the first and-

_But... _

But…

_Now...I think to myself..._

"I was so lucky to have been born here." She repeated softly to herself.

It was the flickery, warm touch of the computer screen what brought her out of her reverie, and when she opened her eyes, the picture staring back at her shocked her.

She was there, smiling happily, her right hand forming a sideways victory sign poised over her right eye, almost like a mask.

The face to her left was smiling calmly back, even if her left arm was around that persons neck, pushing them both together, dark blue eyes, darker and bluer than any stormy nigh staring back at her.

"Ah...So that's it..." She sighed, painful realization coursing thru her brain, but still blissful for finally being made aware of the void, of the blank space in her mind, in her memory. "_I _had already arrived at that place..."

Slowly, she took back her hand, her fingers lingering on the screen for a touch more.

"I was weak...all the thinking and worrying that I did. All the things I threw away because of my pride..."

And she began to feel.

"And now...Everything's ended up like this."

And she began to think.

And against her better judgment, against her own self control, the memories came rushing back, like a damn breaking.

Slowly, her hands came to her face and her head sun into her arms, two salty streams escaping from her eyes as she remembered what she had left behind, her still smiling face mocking her from behind the LCD screen.

"I'm sorry."

A sob.

"I'm sorry..."

A heart wrenching, soul breaking little sob. Followed by another, and another, and another.

"I'm so sorry..."

She stared back at herself, at her own smiling face and in that instant, in that moment she understood what she had done.

"I...took everything that you made...and threw it all away." And in that instant, the cold, emotionless thoughts were replaced by a voice laced with a quiet reminder, a small "don't go there" trying to tell her that-

_You're going to regret this. _

She sat there, not caring for the passage of time, softly sobbing by her self, all alone in her room. And when she stopped, she realized what those mails and that picture represented.

"I...erased every trace of myself...as if I'd never been there..."

_Think._

What had Kaji said?

_After you've cried as much as you think..._

And she was crying, and she didn't think she could cry anymore, she was crying with parched dry eyes and still her soul ached...

_Think about what you can do, given the circumstances you find yourself in._

And she rose.

_That way..._

And she remembered it all...she remembered everything. The smile, the tears the sense of unbecoming. The feeling of becoming one and then becoming unwrapped; the longing and the need and the hunger for him, for all of him, for every little piece of whatever it was that made him who he was; those eyes and the sad smile, the hair and the gentle face...

_THAT WAY..._

Without a second thought, she grabbed her suitcase, and went to get her long coat; the air was still crisp and cold during this time of the year. She walked briskly to the door, making up her mind, and deciding on going to-

All her previous thoughts came to a halt when she opened the door and found a familiar face, flustered and confused outside her boarding house.

They looked at each other and in that brief moment of silence, of uncertainty held in both their eyes, the whole world seemed to stop.

As always, he began talking, stammering in polite tones, explaining why he was in her neck of the woods. The whole time she felt her face becoming redder and hotter.

"A-Asuka, is that you?"

And in that simple phrase in just under a minute she felt like she was back then, an emotionally vulnerable little red headed girl staring into the warm and confused and caring blue eyes of the boy she had somehow known all her life.

"...yeah..."

The boy she hated to love.

"What a relief. I knew you lived around here, but I'm afraid I got a little lost."

The boy that, even when she hated him, she loved him for all his worth.

"If you hadn't just come out, I don't know what would have happened." And when he blinked, she blinked and then-

"Uh...are you...going anywhere?"

She blamed the scolding cup of coffee she had just drank, even when her mind mocked her, telling her it had been tepid at best.

"W-well I was just on my way to the Hanover research facility. You see a genius as gifted as I am is busy no matter where she is."

It came to her as a natural defense; the posing, the tone of superiority as she explained to him her reasons for being outside and with all her current possession in her hand, until something caught her eyes.

"So any way...what do you want?" She said finally, with as much of her old self back.

"So-sorry, I'll go back as soon as I finish what I came to do."

_Da..._She griped her suitcase fiercely, and pursed her lips more. D_amn it..._

_DAMN IT!_

_Like I thought I don't have what it takes._

_I..._

"Th-there's something I wanted to give you myself..." His voice was beckoning her back and just for a moment she thought-

"Close your eyes for just a second."

She smiled t herself and fell into the familiar routine.

"What!? If you do anything weird I'll kill you!"

And she had missed that. She had missed being able to be with him, because she knew even if she didn't remember he had been able to get past her, he had been able to make her be who she really was.

"I-I won't!"

She closed her eyes, but not her mind, and still her mind spoke.

_I've been living like this my whole life, now It's already too..._

And then she felt it, the small pressure on the tip of her finger, something cold sliding down, stopping at the base of her knuckles, making her slowly open her eyes and-

_Too-_

There, glistening in the bright sunlight, sitting in her finger was a ring.

"Well it's really not that expensive for a gem...but I wanted to give you something that I had earned by myself not through my NERV salary, so it actually ended up taking a while..." Shinji said, smiling, nervously scratching his cheek. And all Asuka could do was stare in rapt fascination at the small simple ring she was wearing now.

"Lo-look...if you don't like it then I won't mind if you just throw it away right now."

And how could she say no? How could she not want it?

"Everybody told me to give up because you'd dump me in a heartbeat but..."

How could she turn her back again after all that had happened? After all she had been through? Was she really that proud? Was she really that stupid?

"I just wanted to give it to you..."

Curiously, she lifted her left hand into the sky and in that moment, as he stood transfixed, seeing her hand against the sun, almost as if she were attempting to reach for something high above her, her mind played the same trick on her.

She saw her arm encased in a bright red jumpsuit with black trimmings for a brief moment, before her eyes focused back on the dark maroon of her coat.

The wind was softly blowing, and they were the only ones standing on the dirt road, her back to his, her thoughts her own.

And she made her mind right then and there.

And softly, she spoke.

"I promise you..." She began in her native tongue. "Until I die, I will touch no other man, except you."

She spoke almost in a daze, as if the words were an incantation, bringing back memories she had lost along the way.

"Until I die, I will speak with no other man except you."

"From now on, I'm yours. From the top of my head to the bottom of my feet; every single bit of me, without anything left out." She turned a little bit, watching him from the corner of her eyes.

"I can't remember the days I've spent with you, but that's not necessary anyway."

"I don't really know what love truly means, but..." She turned to stare at him, a quiet look of determination, and fierce resolve clearly on her face.

"If love means not to break this promise until I die, then I promise to always love you, and no other man, as long as I live..."

She placed her right hand against her left breast, feeling the soft rhythmic beating of her heart before finally vowing.

"By the honor of Asuka Langley Soryu."

The silence stretched from seconds to minutes, the soft wind rustling the fallen leaves, making the silence grow and become a huge distance between them.

Until Shinji decided to break it in his very own, natural way, fumbling for the small book that he had in his hands.

"I-I'm sorry Asuka..." He began as he flipped back and forth the pages. "I'm not that good at German...so could you say that one more ti-"

Before he had a chance to finish, he suddenly felt a light weight against his body, pushing him down.

He felt the silky strands of her red hair brushing against his nose.

He tasted her tears and her breath in her lips, pressed tightly against his, even as he felt his whole world being swept from his feet, his back coming in close contact with the very same dirt road they had both been standing in mere seconds before.

As the sky darkened slightly, and ice flakes began to fall towards the ground, the soft padding of a dog behind them mixed with the tears and the sobs, and the small laughter form them both.

The dog made his way to the bread piece that was on the road, not paying any attention to anything else other than the promise of food in front of him.

As his jaws closed against the bread and he turned to walk back the way he had come, his soft brown yes focused on the image before him.

Halfway covered in snow, Asuka Langley Soryu was on top of Shinji Ikari, softly kissing him, for all that was worth; kissing him but at the same time clutching onto him; like a lifeline, like a castaway being pulled by a helicopter on top, she kissed and she pulled and she pushed and she was kissing him and never letting go. Her red hair obscuring his features, but a content sigh emerging from them both.

_In honor of Re-Take, Re-Take 2, 3, 4 and 0; Take and Re-Take After; all directed by the talented Kimimaru_

Epilogue

The fire was cracking peacefully in the chimney, and the little girl was snoring softly, calmly, from the couch; her red pigtails strewn around her; one was hanging on one of the couch's arms, the other brushing against the carpeted floor.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and got up halfway, always being watched from behind by the grown up, a steaming cup of coffee sitting in the table in front.

Behind the little girl, the Christmas tree was filled with light an spheres, tin foil going around it.

"Hey! Why didn't you wake me up? I had a really weird dream..." She said, stifling a yawn and noticing a hot mug ready for her. "Mommy and daddy were still really young...and you had to fight with monsters to save everyone." She smiled.

"You were really cool!"

The little girl then blinked, noticing the small look and smile her mother exchanged with her father. "But daddy kept running away all the time, so you weren't that cool..." She noticed her Dad blush and mutter something, her mom's lips growing back into a playful smirk. "And mommy was always yelling at you." she added as an after thought.

Now both grown ups remained silent, shocked but happy, surprised but smiling at their little girl.

"Hey! Come to think of it...that how you are right now!" And then the grown ups began to laugh, her mother nuzzling into her father's neck, her father patting her long red hair.

"Hey! Really! I really did see it!"

"Come on! Both of you stop laughing and believe me!"

And as both her voice and the grownups floated thru the cold night air, everything was right in this world.

_And thus, a legend unfolds..._

_A tale of a small miracle that is about to take place._

_While taking place somewhere else, these events are real nonetheless..._

_(Re-Take After)_

----- ----- ----- -----

_Author's babble._

_This small story is mainly my feelings put to words, after reading the latest installment of the Re-Take story. My knowledge of Japanese is minimal (Which is a fancy way of saying I know jack) which is why the only words uttered come from the few pages that had been translated by yours truly at the RA and SAL image boards._

_If you read it so far and found it an acceptable homage, then go over there and get the whole dou._

_And keep your eyes opened for the translation done by the fantastic Anonymous Spore._

_If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then get the whole series, if you look for it with enough interest, you will find it, if not, drop me a line and your e-mail and I'll send it your way._

_Again, no beta has pre-read this, because some things just come to you during the long sleepless nights._

Author's Update.

How much do I suck? Nah, c'mon you can speak freely, pay no attention to the chainsaw and the pitchfork and all the other various torture instruments at my disposal, Tell me in all honestly how bad do I suck?

It's been…what? Nearly 3 or 4 months since Spore got out his version, circling around the ´net. One would have thought that I would make an update once it had hit the posting boards and updated this story with dialogue, right? As it is, in my defense I can honestly say I was busy, really, really busy...with what you ask? It SELEE, not SEREE! NEXT QUESTION!

But really, I beg forgiveness, those who have read it, know it's hard to come with the exact words for something so...for lack of a better adjective...perfect...I am thinking in adding a special something something about this as well...interested? Yes? No? TOO BAD!

I'm not sharing…

Yet_  
_


	6. Kiss 09, Way 14

30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka

Themes: K#09 (Dash), W#14 (Trees)

Title: Of Keeping Secrets

A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly.

----- ----- ----- -----

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other.**_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

----- ----- ----- -----

"What are you doing..?" Asuka asked, her eyebrows twitching as she ran into the familiar back of Shinji exiting Misato's apartment. Shinji turned around with his hands grabbing several industrial strength type black plastic bags.

"What does it look like I'm doing..?" He grumbled as he closed the door with his foot, the sounds of someone singing very off key muting instantly. "does it look like I'm eating an ice cream cone..? No! I'm taking out the trash, sheesh.!!"

It wasn't normal for Shinji to grumble, so Asuka kept quiet for a moment, while Nozomi and Mari simply giggled when they heard the exchange, chanting "Newlyweds" over and over.

"Ok, squirts, I told you already, We are not like that."

"But my brother says you have him whipped." Mari giggled making a whipping motion with her hand, adding a "whap-ish!" sound effect.

"Your brother is an idiot." Both Shinji and Asuka retorted in perfect synchrony.

"He also says you do that weird thing when you speak at the same time with the same words all the time."

Nozomi nodded.

"Hey Asuka, why are you with Mari and Nozomi?" Shinji asked as both small girls began to race each other to the elevator, dashing across the hall.

"The Jock had to go to some practice of something, so he left Mari with Hikari." Asuka began bored. "And then Hikari said she would be back in a little while and she left."

Shinji nodded. "They were making out?"

"That would be my first guess."

"Does it bother you?"

Asuka sputtered at that. "What the hell are you on? Why would it bother me?"

"Well, you've never been that much into Hikari dating Toji."

"Hikari knows how I feel." Asuka said as she turned to tell the kids to wait. "And the jock knows if he makes her cry, I'll make him cry." She finished, slamming her left fist into her right palm.

"Yeah!" Below her, Mari shouted, doing the same thing. "If my idiot stooge of a brother makes Miss Hikari cry I'll kick him."

"Atta girl." Asuka patted her on the head, proud of her new protégé. "Now are you ready to leave?" She asked the both girls, who nodded as they held their backpacks closer to themselves.

"Oh...you're leaving already?" Shinji asked as he dusted his hands off after throwing the garbage into the furnace.

"Yeah, I'm taking them to the station." Asuka gestured to the front door of the building complex. "Hikari and Toji will be waiting for them here."

"Maybe I should go out with you…It's been getting dangerous around here lately." Shinji said as he walked next to Asuka. Perhaps to close to her, since her back tensed up and she jumped sideways, turning to glare at the confused boy.

"Stop doing that." She said hotly, Shinji simply looked at her with confusion. "And stop imagining things that aren't there." Asuka finished blushing, her latest outburst directed at the giggling girls several feet in front of her.

"Doing what? What are you talking about?" shinji asked finally.

"Why do you insist on coming with me idiot…" Asuka shifted conversations, turning around. "I can handle any pervert with one hit…" she said, eliciting a shout of approval form Mari, again. Nozomi simply sighed, looking eerily like a mini version of Hikari, pigtails and frackles and all.

"That's what I'm worried about…" Shinji sighed. "You don't know how to hold back…someone's got to protect the poor criminals…" He said as Nozomi giggled and Mari did the same once she saw Asuka's look of disbelief.

"Yeah…more like protect your fellow perverts…" she grumbled but otherwise did nothing to prevent Shinji from coming with them.

"Whatever…Besides, I have to buy food at the grocery store." Shinji said.

"You know…" Asuka began as the walked the short distance towards the tain station. "Thanks to you those two are going to be making a ruckus about us on school tomorrow…" Asuka said as she motioned with her head to the younger Suzuhara and Horaki girls running around.

"What do you mean..?" Shinji asked as he turned around to close the front door.

"They think that you…you and I…" Asuka began lamely, a red hue coloring her cheeks.

"What? That we're dating..?" Shinji asked without concern.

"Yes!"

"And I'm sure that you told them otherwise…" Shinji continued, clearly not affected by this.

"They were obviously not paying attention to a word that I was saying…" Asuka answered back grumbling about '_Baka_ not being worried'.

"Well, give them time…" Shinji said, slowing his pace, Asuka unconsciously doing the same; they had always had a knack for doing so; one would do something and the other would react to it, almost as if there was a connection of sorts between them.

"As soon as they hear that you punched me with enough force to give me a concussion they'll realize their mistake…" Shinji smirked at a flushing Asuka, as he saw the girls run towards the station once they saw their respective siblings waiting for them.

"That's not funny…" Asuka said hotly, not expecting for Shinji to push her against the back of a tree.

"What are you-?"

Asuka's surprised question was cut off as Shinji grabbed her by her arms and spun her around, staring into her eyes as he pushed her up against the trees and kissed her. Deeply.

Asuka remembered their first kiss; it had been sloppy, and quickly; her palms had been sweaty and she was more worried about someone finding out than about the romance or the setting; she had seen him walking towards her, with an umbrella limply held by his hand, and she had simply let herself go at the sight of him, dripping wet, drenched by the falling rain, a look of pessimism and disbelief and of being lost so big, it seemed like it would swallow him whole.

He looked like a lost puppy, but not the barking, obnoxious kind, rather like the ones who are too tired, to scared, or to numb to do anything, but stare at the car coming down the road, straight at them.

She had walked next to him, and involuntarily, her arm had reached out for his passing one, grabbing him by the fingers, turning him around, looking into his eyes.

And then, simply kissing him.

It had been something different, and special, it had also been quick and she had felt water slipping in thru them; she had thought it would be romantic, but it felt like they couldn't control their spit from overflowing.

Afterwards, the kisses, the making out became more and more constant, but always at secret, reserved places.

Now, he held her tight, pinning her arms to her sides as she struggled, gently nibbling at her, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth.

Asuka did not trashed, but to her credit did put up a fight, although her won body had already decided the outcome for her in advance; like a match of _Go_, 10 movements ahead of her head; she felt her body go limp, her movements becoming slower and less urgent, her breathing growing agitated and hungry for more.

When he finally released her arms, sliding his hands around her slender waist, she took the opportunity to kiss him quickly, not a deep searing kiss like the one they had just shared, but a quick peek, looking behind her to where Toji and Hikari where entertaining Nozomi and Mari, who were assuring them both Shinji and Asuka had been behind them, while Toji said something about them probably going to buy stuff.

Then, she turned and slapped him.

"This is supposed to be a secret." Asuka whispered, flushing, to Shinji who kept kissing her. "You know how crazy things will get if this goes out at school. And I'm sure your sister will probably frown and say something like _Ikari-kun are you aware that you are sucking face with the same girl who has punched you and teased you since we were in elementary?_" Asuka said fighting to keep her face as emotionless as possible which was hard because Shinji was applying a great deal of difficulty to that task.

"Please Rei would never say that." Shinji smiled between kisses.

"You know she doesn't like me."

"I was referring more to the sucking face part."

Before she could say anything else, shinji dived forward, kissing her again. Asuka smiled and decided to go with it. Leaning towards him to kiss him, only this time slowly, savoring the time and his lips and his breath.

----- ----- ----- -----

"See…" Toji said in a good natured grumpy way as she saw Asuka and Shinji coming to where they sat with various ice cream cones of assorted flavors. "They went to get you bratty kids ice cream."

Hikari simply took notice of Asuak's outfit, her hair and how she looked flushed before wisely keeping quiet.

Sometimes it was a good thing your boyfriend was a dense brute.

----- ----- ----- -----

_AN._

_Wow, I gotta say Go Me!; a new story with enough chapters to say "Ahh to hell with it, I'll just let it go to the background and update whenever (which I won't) a new update for 10 things (short, but it got good reviews from the betas, so here's hopping) and a new update for 30 kisses (initially this was gonna be used on 10 things, but couldn't really fit in the kids, and Asuka doesn't seem like she would have friends or a clique to have over, so…)_

_Any way, as you can see all of the stories are still being worked with (among other projects) expect updates for Love and hate at least twice a day (yeah, you read correctly, TWICE) and a steady crap load of low budgeted writing crap in the near future._

_Now let me go and pat myself in the back and pour myself a martini (shaken, not stirred), of course.  
_


	7. Kiss 27, Way 22

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka **

**Themes: K-27 (Overflow) W-22 (Beautiful) **

**Title: The music of Asuka Langley Sohryu.**

* * *

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like._**

* * *

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other. **_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

* * *

"Are you ready?" Kaji asked with his eyes, in silence, not emitting a word lest he breaks the concentration that seemed to emanate in weaves from within the red head prodigy in front of him.

Asuka smiled and nodded, her auburn hair bouncing playfully, making a sharp contrast to her clipped, stern face.

Kaji exhaled slowly as he saw her walk towards the center stage, slowly nearing the center stage, walking towards into the light. She stood in the center of the light disc on the floor, looking straight into the eyes of each and every one of them, unflinching, unapologetic.

A beat, a heartbeat filled of silence and anticipation.

Then, she curtsied, smiled a hollowed, wooden smile that did not reach her eyes, and bowed.

And her face became once again emotionless; she closed her eyes, rested the violin against her cheek, and began.

Slowly, the sounds began to fill the void; sluggishly, the intonation felt like it was being dragged through mud, a slow crescendo barely there, barely noticeable in every other revolution, almost as if it were a sluggish, hairy caterpillar slowly making its way, the passage of time not bothering the pace of the music at all.

Her face was still a stern, emotionless façade.

Suddenly, a transformation; slowly and small, the tune began to change, a metamorphosis taking place, faint, diluted sounds made way to clearer, sharper strings, more defined notes, more brisk allegro notes; small, gentle, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, taking the first tentative flaps of her wings.

But still, the music did not reach her face.

Slowly, the people attending the concert began to see that same small butterfly take flight, the repeating tones of the violin mimicking the flaps of it's wings, and then they became aware of the back ground sound of the full orchestra behind the redhead who was standing in the center stage, eyes closed, fingers dancing, flowing like solid water across the strings, swaying to the music emerging from within herself.

And yet, if they watched with attention, they would see no smiles, just the forceful scrunching of her eyes, almost as if the force of the music was too much to bear, to carry on her own body.

The loud rich notes of several other strings, metals and wind instruments began to wave a rich tapestry, almost materializing the woods, the trees, the clear blue sky for the small, delicate butterfly to fly in them; the tempo quickened, and the butterfly became a bumblebee; buzzing, busy little bee, tracing a path, dodging webs and rain and wind.

And still her face remained a mask of marble, impassive, detached.

But for the audience, that was never apparent.

She played slow songs, and fast songs. She played grand noble themes, and tunes that were dripping with force, with an unbridled passion, like a wild stallion on the great, wide divide.

Her face held on.

Her whole body trembled with the force of her won music, and if anyone would open their eyes and look carefully at the girl, they would notice the music was almost visibly sweating through her pores, a sense, a feeling so great, so undeniably strong it was overflowing her own self, like a big bright fire, consuming everything in it's wake.

She forced her own body not to react to the calling of her own music.

For hours and hours more, she graced them and dazzled them. She brought them to ecstasy and beyond. She made their eyes bleed tears of joy and pain as she expertly, methodically, efficiently plucked their souls in the same way she plucked the string of her violin.

She held the music, her dazzling music at bay, bending it, forcing it to do her bidding.

She made them bleed through their eyes what she bled through her fingertips. All the music held within, all the passion inside of her; all the feelings all the venom, all the bile and the happiness and the mirth. She used the small, wooden instrument like a medium, the thin, razor like strings as a way to convey all the flurry of emotions that were crashing inside of her.

She frowned as she felt the last drop of it seep away, flow from her tips to the bow, from her fingers to the strings; she felt it combine, lime an old, forgotten alchemical process and become something new, something unique; something that defied description and categorization.

For hours upon hours, she held their conscience, their very soul in her grasp, and she played with them all, and in the end, as always, they all got up and gave her an standing ovation.

And still, her face never shifted fro the ever-present frown on her face.

* * *

"Nice going, _Schatz_." Kaji told her, as soon as she walked back to the stage. She sighed, but didn't say a word, instead going straight to her dressing room. Kaji saw her, for the second time today walk away, her back stiff, almost like a soldier marching to certain death, not even bothering to turn back.

He frowned; something had to be done about her. He knew the death of her mother had affected her deeply, but perhaps what affected her more was the choice of her father remarrying again, perhaps what affected her was the way her stepmother tried so hard.

Maybe it was all that and maybe it was nothing at all.

"Hey gorgeous."

Kaji smiled despite himself at the sound of the siren calling him. He turned to find the ever present playful smirk of the lovely face of Misato Katsuragi, her tight black evening dress fitting like a glove, making her look extremely sexy, provocative despite it being floor length, and with no plunging neckline, nor an open back; basically the only skin shown were her long, white arms.

Still, he couldn't deny the immediate reaction she got from every heterosexual male in the room; even mousy Hyuga, his reliable assistant was transfixed with her.

She looked beautiful.

"What? No greeting for me?" she asked with a playful pout that made the suave promoter brush his unruly hair back, a playful, roguish smirk on his stubble-covered face.

"I would give you more than a greeting if we were alone and you know it." He began with the smooth talking, deep smoky tone he knew she loved so well, to then envelop her in a friendly (_maybe a tad tight for friendly_) hug.

"How you been?" She asked smiling.

"Working, which means I'm babysitting the prima Donna you just heard." He replied easily, walking through the backstage towards the visitors lounge. "What about you? Still working as a high profile baby sitter for that jerk?"

"Yes she is, Mr. Kaji." A low, but deep rumbling voice answered behind him. "Although I still go by Dr. Ikari, thank you very much."

Kaji sighed and turned to face him, a charming smile on his face even after the dreadful faux pas.

"And it is lovely to see you again Dr." He bowed traditionally at the imposing man flanked by a couple who seemed to be the same age as Asuka.

Almost as if he had read his mind, Ikari introduced them. "My son and adopted daughter, Shinji Ikari and Rei Ayanami."

"Pleased to meet you." Kaji said as he bowed again. "So what brings you here?" He asked once the pleasantries had been out of the way."

"We came to enjoy the music." Ikari said calmly. "When we heard your German prodigy was in town I decided to come and see if she was worthy of all that praise."

"She does live to her reputation." Rei said softly, and Gendo allowed himself the smallest of smirks before continuing.

"My son was so entranced by her I instructed Miss Katsuragi to grant him a quick interview."

Kaji turned to Misato, a small smile on his face; it held no emotions behind, it seemed mechanical, almost as if someone had drawn it onto his face. "Did you now?"

"Of course when she knew she will have to speak directly with you, she more than jumped for the chance to get us all tickets for the concert."

"And I thank you for your patronage." Kaji said bowing formally, like an actor after receiving a prize. "However I'm sorry to inform you and your family Miss Sohryu is not in the best…disposition to greet fans."

"I'm sure you can arrange something."

"When she is in that mood she will only communicate in-"

"Shinji is well versed in Japanese, English and German, which I believe are the languages your charge expresses herself in fluently."

"Mr. Ikari."

"**Dr.** Ikari." He stressed the Doctor, and Kaji sighed, remembering why it had been difficult to work even as a third party for this man; his reputation preceded him, and he always did get what he wanted.

"**Dr.** Ikari." Kaji matched his tone and words. "May I know why you seem so…interested in your son getting to know her?"

"I have no need to inform you such things." He finished with clear intentions, making Misato blush and try to sputter a response. Before she could however, Ikari turned around and walked away.

"Katsuragi, deal with this, I saw an old acquaintance and need to speak with him." He said offhandedly over his shoulder, just as he clapped his hand over a gray haired, distinguished looking older gentle man referring to him only as "Professor".

Before Misato could begin to try and explain herself, Rei spoke up as well.

"I too, will be leaving." She said as she walked towards the back door, before leaning closer to Shinji and whispering something to him, something meant only for the two of them, but Kaji caught the way she spoke silently, and how Shinji could only stare and nod.

Kaji redirected his attention to Misato.

"So."

"So." Misato said forcefully, intent on saving face against him. "About what that Jerk-"

"He still goes by Dr. Ikari." Kaji playfully reminded her, earning a small smile for Shinji and a glare from Misato.

"Yes, any way he-"

"It's nice to see you again." Kaji interrupted her again. "And it will be no problem for me to introduce the young Mr. Ikari to the lovely Miss Sohryu. She was having a rather hard time earlier, but…" He leaned at Shinji, whispering softly, looking at him in the eye.

"I'm sure you can help her have a great time."

Shinji blushed and sputtered a response; thankfully, Misato came to his aid.

"Yeah, Shinji you can show her those things you do with your fingers."

Or not.

"But before he does…" Kaji smirked lazily. "I want to know why you want to know her so much." He directed the question at Shinji, and he gasped at the bluntness of it.

"W-well I…" Shinji began hesitantly. Stopped, took a deep breath and composed himself, waiting for his hands to stop trembling.

"You see, I knew her before, we met once, back when my mother was still alive." He began again. "Her mother was a guest at the institute and somehow both our mothers coincided at the same place."

Kaji nodded, signaling Shinji to continue.

"We met several times while they stayed there, and her mother and my mother became good friends, exchanging letters. My mother would always use talk about me and would ask Mrs. Sohryu about her daughter. She never had a chance to go to her funeral, but entrusted me with something to give her."

"Why couldn't your mother come?" Kaji asked.

"She died a few months back." Shinji answered simply, but he could see in his posture, in his hands and face and just by the way he was standing it still hurt.

A lot.

"She knew the fire had been devastating, and that Mrs. Sohryu had pushed her daughter out a window into the cold water just as the fire began to make the timbers of the lake house fall on top of her." Shinji continued, more calmed now.

"She wished she could have been by her side, but the cancer had debilitated her to a point when she could not even hold a spoon to feed herself." Misato added, whispering the last part.

"On her death bed, my mother told me that when I had the chance to see Miss Sohryu again, to give her this."

He took a carefully laminated picture from within the inside pocket of his suit jacket, followed by a small envelope. He handed it to Kaji who opened it up, unfolded the first page, read…and stopped short.

It was the last letter Kyoko Zepellin Sohryu had wrote to his mother.

In it in precise, beautiful and tight handwritten cursive letters, she spoke of the general happenings. She told Yui that she was having more and more problems moving around, and that she had decided to go to her old lake house to spend some time relaxing, noting that Asuka might be there, and that she might, at last tell her truth.

The truth was that Kyoko had ASL, not a full paralysis, but enough to be an impediment to be at her daughter's concert. She knew it wounded her, but kept it a secret from her, under the guise of too much work.

She told Yui that she knew, given Asuka's attachment to her, she would quit the music world if she ever found out to take care of her, and she could never do that; She knew Asuka's music was something beyond, and she felt an obligation to the world in making Asuka show them that.

But on the last two pages, Kaji saw the regret that she had, how she had wanted all that time to be on the same stage as her daughter, crying with the rest of the people enjoying her music, how she praised and call her her little treasure, her small miracle.

Kaji could literally see the tears streaming down Kyoko Zepellin Sohryu's perfect face, the tears streaming down Yui Ikair's high cheekbones. He read the paragraphs and immediately felt like a burglar, a prowler robbing Asuka of memories that should be hers. He finally understood the thin red thread of fate that was woven to connect these two souls.

"Misato…" He said as he folded the letter and gave it back to Shinji before cupping his back and guiding him towards the door fo Asuka's dressing room, ignoring his mumbled protest and how his heels dug on the floor to prevent this from happening. "I feel like getting a drink, and haven't had a Yebisu in years…"

He gave a final push after opening the door, ignoring Shinji's lowly yelp of surprise and closing it, before turning to Misato, offering her arm.

"Care to join me?"

* * *

Shinji stood there, not moving, not knowing what to do. There was nobody inside the dressing room, and for a moment he was unsure if he had understood correctly what Kaji had told him; was she in her room? Was she going to be coming any minute now?

He took the moment to look across it, drinking in every small detail.

She was a contradiction.

He got near the vanity mirror in the far end of the room and saw that it had nothing more than the clothes she had been wearing.

Her violin laid in the middle of the mess that was her room; strewn across it were the dress she had been wearing, the shoes and the stockings bunched in one corner; the steam coming form underneath the door signaled she was currently taking a shower.

Shinji paled at that; how could he have not noticed? He turned around with the intention of leaving, but instead was staring the brightest, bluest eyes he had ever seen.

They eyes of a scowling Asuka Langley Sohryu.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" she asked in a forced, clipped and obviously displeased way.

Shinji could only stare at the girl in front of him, clad in only a pink towel that reached mid thigh, her hair enveloped in a similar towel that had some tendrils escaping from within it. Her skin looked flushed, no wonder from the hot water she had employed to take a bath.

Shinji could only gape at her undeniable beauty, even when not clothed (_In fact, especially when she wasn't clothed_), and had no make-up of any kind, she was a sight to behold; past the radiant blue eyes, and fiery red hair laid perfect alabaster smooth skin, like creams and peaches, and her lips-

Were still moving.

"I asked you what the hell where you doing here!" She asked again. Normally, she would have shouted at the top of her lungs, and Kaji would have barged inside, grabbing this pervert by the collar and throwing him out, however there was something…soothing about him, she felt she had met him before.

"Hey idiot! You speak English? _Dummkopf_! _Sprechen Sie Deutsch_? _Anta Baka! __Nihongo wo Hanashi Masuka?_"

"Uh…Yes, _Ja_, _Hai_…"

She stopped short, surprise etched across her face. "Y-you…" She began, liking her lips in anticipation. "You understand me?"

Shinji looked at her blushing. "You might not remember me; I'm Shinji Ikari." He finished before thrusting his hand towards her.

A thousand memories came back; Memories of him, sitting next to her, laughing in dull sounds, memories of him, smiling, trying t cheer her up, memories of him and her, pushing him away, angry at him, at her mother, at the whole world.

Memories of her good bye, and the soft, chaste kiss she gave him on the lips.

"Sh-Shinji... kun?" She said in dull sounds, her tongue not used to talking after her eardrums had exploded, plunging her into a world of silence only her music, the music of Asuka Langley Sohryu could break free.

Shinji nodded, smiling, and that was all she needed.

She launched herself at him, hugging him with such a force he felt his bones turn to dust, like she wanted to fuse herself, mold with him, become only one.

And in the midst of it all, she gave the him the most perfect, mind blowing, searing, hot waves crashing stop-the-world kiss he had ever had (_conveniently, the second one he had ever had_)

You see, Asuka had been born like a normal baby, but suffered from a severe from of tinnitus.

Her eardrum had distended earlier on her childhood, and by the time she had reached her mid teens, her hearing was lost on a 20 percent. By the time she was on her late teens she was deaf, but she played the most beautiful music other ears had ever heard; sublime and poetic, lyrical and exhaling; her music was capable of bringing people to tears, eliciting a standing ovation whenever she played.

And for the first time after the death of her mother, she was with someone who knew what she had went through, who understood her better than anyone else, who spoke her same language.

You see…Shinji Ikari, like Asuka Langley Sohryu, is deaf too.

* * *

**_AN. I don't really know how this came into fruition. I guess it's the perks of letting your body sit in a computer and let it just…type away… _**

**_Tinnitus is the name of Beethoven's hearing impairment, this story might have repeated elements and themes of 10 things, since I have been forced to attend classical music concerts by school (I'm not complaining, in fact it's a great exercise trying to describe music using words) I know the whole concept of someone who is hearing impaired playing music is ludicrous, however a close friend of mine who was born deaf would tell me in sign language that she loved to strum her guitar simply to feel the vibrations of the strings. She still comes to my house when I'm back home and when we talk, she would put her hands on my throat to feel the air coming through it, trying to vocalize what she feels. _**

**_Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an update for Love and Hate to do. _**


	8. Kiss 24, Way 08

_30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka_

_Themes: K#_ _24 (Good night), W#__#08 (Kitchen)_

_Title: **Reality Bites.**_

_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like._

_This short story is based on MagnumPI459's original idea of Quantum Genesis Evangelion Universe B, which you should read and review...really. I'm just hijacking his idea and Anno's character for the perverse pleasure of screwing them even more._

_Short synopsis: Reality is never a linear notion. A ripple effect, a butterfly effect has the consequences of creating infinite realities. In this case, we focus on a reality very much like the one we know, with several key differences. And I want to point this is NOT "The twilight Zone". Shinji Ikari has been absorbed by Leliel, and finds himself in a different Universe, Misato is clean, Rei speaks her mind and Asuka is shy. The story is in progress, but…_

_WE know how the attempted kiss ended in Universe A, but I have to wonder how did it happened in "Universe B"?_

_Useless Japanese lesson 101. "Aka" is Japanese for "Red". It can also be used as a short form for redhead (akage), baby (akago) and no good/useless person (akan)._

_Besides, it rhymes with Baka._

----- -----

The soft chords of Asuka's violin wafted thru the room, she was sitting by herself, as always when she practiced, drawing her bow against the filament strings with grace and expertise born out of years of playing the instrument with consecrated teachers in Germany.

She was drawn to the music, softly humming to herself as she reflected on the events of the day that was already, with the rays of the setting sun coming to an end.

She stopped, and plucked at one of the chords of the violin, listening to its sound distending thru the airwaves, becoming fainter, lower, smaller.

She closed her eyes, let out a sight and began again.

And all the while she remembered.

----- -----

"Hey, A-ka…" Asuka griped as she heard the sing-song elongated last vowels of her "official" nickname.

How she hated it.

It had started out as a joke for him; When he had met her at the Over the Rainbow, while Misato was off molesting Kaji and he kept telling to let it go, Asuka had been shyly looking at the confident Third child.

----- -----

He had just gotten out of the helicopter, escorted by those two other students, Kensuke Aida, with a camera taking pictures for the school newspaper, followed by the straight faced class representative Toji Suzuhara, who claimed he had come representing the student body of Tokyo-3 Municipal high school.

The last ones to step out had been Shinji Ikari and Hikari Horaki; Both snickering and laughing, Hikari even prodding the third child while he smirked at her in a confident way as Asuka had walked down smiling to greet her old guardian.

As she reached the platform, she smiled at Misato, bowing slightly at tall of them.

"Hello, my name is Asuka Langley Sohryu, pleased to meet you."

While the pleasantries had gone underway (Toji and Kensuke smiling at her, while Kensuke blindsided her with picture after picture taken in quick succession, Shinji and Hikari stayed behind, snickering at her.

When she had to greet him, she saw that he was watching her with an unreadable expression, part snickering, part smiling, confident and smooth and his eyes were bluer than the blue depths of the water were the carrier was on right now.

Just as she was about to greet him, a gust of wind decided to make her first impression memorable, lifting the hem of her yellow sundress, making Asuka scream in shock and surprise and embarrassment as everyone got a front seat at seeing just how new her panties were.

Of course Hikari had taken Kensuke's camera and wasted no time taking pictures of her, much to Asuka's mortification, while Shinji simple laughed at it all.

Before he finally smirked at her, ignoring her flushed, embarrassed face, her baby blue eyes brimming with tears.

"Shinji Ikari…charmed huh?" He said, and there was a strange glint in his eyes that, before snorting in disgust and muttering "Aka…"

----- -----

The next day, Asuka was greeted when she entered classroom 2-A with a huge print out of her shocked face, her mouth wide open as she screamed, her skirt flapping in the wind.

Her panties proudly showed for everyone to see.

----- -----

"Yo Aka…I'm talkin' to ya." Hikari "The Mace" Horaki screamed at her, grabbing her by the shoulder, making the poor redhead jump in terror.

"Ahh…" she screamed turning around. "Y-you better stay away from me H-Hikari…I know it was you who printed those pictures of me at swimming cla-"

"Shut up."

Instantly, Asuka closed her mouth and stopped talking, a fearful look on her face.

"Listen kraut…are you doin' anything tomorrow?"

"W-well I have my violin lesson and-"

"Stop." Hikari raised her opened palm and Asuka again kept quiet. "Let me put it this way…are you doin' anything _fun_ tomorrow?"

"Uh…N-no..?" Asuka answered tentatively, wondering if that was what the girl in front of her wanted to hear…

"You mean you'll be available tomorrow."

"I-I guess."

Hikari smiled, baring her fangs. "Great, then I've got a favor to ask you." She showed Asuka her closed fist, shaking it near her nose. "And I suggest you say yes, got it?"

Asuka whimpered and nodded.

Hikari remained quiet for a few seconds, which felt like hours to Asuka. It was clear from her smirk and posture that she enjoying that look, the feel of utter helplessness, like a squirming worm the second child was giving out.

"Listen, for some strange reason this loser wants to date you." Hikari said bluntly. "So you have a date tomorrow with him."

It took Asuka a moment to understand what was going on.

"W-wait…What?"

Hikari let out an aggravated sigh. _Wait for her small brain to get on with the program._

"What! A date?" A terrified Asuka imagined as whomever this date was took her to a deserted alley and started to have his way with her only to-

"Listen Aka…" Hikari sighed, as she placed her right arm loosely around Asuka's shoulder, ignoring the frown she got as she used that stupid nickname again. The guy's a friend of Kodama, my big sister. And he keeps asking and askin' me to set you and him up." She reached for the waistband of her skirt and extracted a thick wad of cash.

"He already paid me in advance so that means tomorrow you are gonna have to show up, got it?" She smiled a toothy smile at her, and Asuka could hear the unspoken _or else_ in Hikari's speech.

Before she could say something, though, Shinji appeared out of nowhere. "C'mon you." He grumbled, not pleased, but then again, Shinji was never happy, and the only time he smiled was when he was making her miserable.

"We have to go to do some Sync test." He said softly, and grabbed her hand, a small, possessive gesture, but at the same time intimate and frail, his hand was gently poised over her knuckles, and the soft pressure he had on it seemed out of character for Shinji, almost as if he were afraid to push too hard and break her.

Asuka let herself be taken by Shinji, who apparently didn't mind or didn't care that he arrived into NERV still holding her hand.

Asuka was sure she would still feel the heat on her face even after she took the coldest of showers once the test was over.

----- -----

"Microsis operation completed. Inversable graph measurements analyzed."

The mechanic voices echoed thru the vast expense that was the Pribnow Box. All of the available eyes and ears were currently strained on the exercise at hand, no one dared to let out a breath; even though this was one of those "routine exercises" there was always the possibility of something going wrong.

So everyone kept their collective breath waiting for the agonizing seconds until…

"Synchro-position is normal."

Immediately, everyone let out a sigh of relief.

Ritsuko wordlessly began to busily scribble on her clipboard, pausing every now and then to collect her thoughts before continuing. She stopped and reached for one of the many aluminum cans that were lined in front of her, pausing to look at it expectantly.

"Ritsuko, stop trying to transform that coffee into beer with your mind power alone." Misato said without even looking up from her clipboard.

"So, which dress are you wearing?"

"Oh, for the wedding tomorrow?" Ritsuko asked as she continued checking the marks from her clipboard while Misato surveyed everything with a calm detachment. "I don't know…what about you?"

"Well, I wore the pink suit for Kiyomi's wedding and I wore the dark blue dress for Kotoko's shower…" Misato sighed and looked at her Nerv standard uniform, similar to the one Gendo, Fuyutsuki and Kaji wore, only hers in crimson red. "Maybe I should just take the Nerv Dress uniform to get it over with."

Ritsuko smirked. "There's that orange one, you haven't wore that one lately…why don't you put it on?"

"The orange one? Well there's a reason I haven't worn it..."

"It's too tight?"

"Quite the opposite, actually." Misato continued checking out boxes and writing recommendations. "But the fact is that I had a small…accident with my service arm…"

"Hole?"

"Yep?"

"In the butt?"

"Worst." Misato sighed, unconsciously pulling her uniforms cassock to cover her crotch. "Maybe I should just buy a new one." She finished writing before she turned the pages to double-check them.

"Man, all these stupid weddings are killing my bank account." Ritsuko moaned.

"Tell me about it, we've been to so many showers I'm almost broke."

"Yeah!" Ritsuko continued looking at the profile of the three pilots on the HUD. "It's like everyone's in a rush to get married, before they turn thirty."

Misato turned to shot a glare at Ritsuko, expecting the jive she knew should come right about-

"And you don't want to be the last one still single, do you?"

Now.

"What are you implying Ritsu?"

Ritsuko snickered at herself before leaning forward and cracking open another canned coffee before giving it another longing look and a heart-felt sigh. "Ok…" she said, pushing the intercom button to open the comm. Line on the Evas. "You guys can take off now. Good work."

"It's about time! These stupid experiments are really getting on my nerves!" Came an annoyed voice thru the line. Misato and Ritsuko looked at each other before rolling their eyes.

"Speaking of which, Shinji seems more subdued, than usual." Ritsuko said sarcastically as she muted the comm. line of unit 01, the letters U and T no longer visible were the silent witness of how often they had to be used on the unruly kid.

The fuming Third child looked straight ahead, a smoldering, intense look on his eyes, sending a shiver down the spine of Misato, and Ritsuko. Besides him Asuka was staring down, a downcast expression on her face while Rei was moving her head to and fro, banging it to the lively rhythm that was playing in her head.

"Hmm, yeah…" Misato hummed thoughtfully. "Tomorrow's the day."

"Oh yeah, tomorrow." Ritsuko shuddered.

"Where is the commander, by the way?" Misato kept scribbling, the perfect picture of military efficiency.

"Ahh the ol' yeller is probably locked in his office, drowning his grief in an 18 year old."

Misato nodded and continued scribbling.

After a few seconds Ritsuko became impatient, she stared intently at Misato who continued scribbling. Ritsuko kept staring, a silent plea at her college friend. Finally Misato let out a sigh, turned to her friend frowning and took a deep breath. She took her clipboard and continued writing again.

"You're talking about some sort of whiskey, right?" She asked without looking up, the fake shock evident in her bored voice.

"Why Misato…" Ritsuko snickered, choosing to ignore that small fact and continue with her joke. "You have a very, very naughty mind…"

----- -----

"_Oh-no!"_ The cheesy lines from the TV were the only sound in the small apartment, and Asuka. She was clutching a cushion to herself as she saw the soap opera; it had been all in all an ok day for her, even going so far as to put what she had to eat in the school cafeteria on her diary, while writing in her personal hidden journal about the way Shinji had been looking at her all day, all thoughtful and how he had been holding her hand all throughout the walk to NERV after school.

_"It's you who said we should separate." _

Asuka blinked when she heard the electronic beeping of a card entered on the lock system, and was grateful once she heard the front door slide open for the company of Misato. Shinji had gotten straight into his room, and had spent the better part of the day strumming his old, beat-up Rickenbacker.

Asuka had been tempted to walk over and ask him what was wrong, but she remembered how edgy he had been thru out the day.

"_What are you saying?" _

Why did she feel the lines were mocking her?

"I'm home." Misato exclaimed as she walked towards the fridge to take out something to drink.

"_I don't know about you, but I'm different from what I was in those days."_

"Hey Misato." Asuka greeted her turning from the TV. "What's up?"

"You'd better go to bed Asuka." Misato said a she brought in a dress still wrapped in plastic. "Don't you have a date tomorrow?" She questioned inspecting the dress as if it were her beloved NERV Dress uniform. Sighing, she wondered again why she couldn't take it to the weeding.

"Y-yeah..." Asuka added shyly, not wanting to get drilled by Misato into the who, why and where, she knew nothing of the guy, but the prospect of being pummeled by Hikari was not something she would like.

"Well, it was really nice of you to suggest this _get to know a pilot_ day. Good publicity stunt, NERVS public opinion standing has gone up by 30"  
Besides...

"I would have thought that Shinji would have pummeled anyone getting close to you though."

"Wh-wha?" Asuka asked caught of guard until she saw her guardian's smirk. "Mi-Misato! It's not like that…"

Misato frowned at the softness of Asuka's last rebuttal. She knew both pilots felt something.

_They just have to._ She thought quietly. _After all they went thru in the synch training and Shinji telling Asuka that she kicks and moans and is a hugger in her sleep and Asuka accusing Shinji of almost kissing her…_

"Uhm, Misato. Can I borrow your lavender perfume..?"

"Wah-?" Misato looked up from her dress and saw the blushing red head with her hands placed on her lap. She smiled, remembering the first time she had gone on a date, the anxiety, the changing of outfits over and over and…

"No." She smiled. "I am only going to lend it to you when you and Shinji go out on a date." She teased the already flustered German girl.

"Mi-Misato...it's not like that..." Asuka grumbled, while Misato snickered at her expense. "Besides he would never..." She caught herself turning to Misato, her face red again, only this time out of anger, her cheeks puffed out.

"_Yet, I still love..."_

"Hehe…gotcha…"

"Oh, meany!" She stomped her foot, which only added in making her look more like a pouting kid.

"I wouldn't let you any way...That stuff's not for kids." Missing the outraged but silent grumble of the redhead as she pouted turning back to the TV, Misato walked towards her other teammate's room.

"Is Shinji in his room?"

"Yeah, ever since he got home." Asuka replied, hugging the cushion in a reflex, pressing it against her body.

"I don't think he wants to meet his father. If he hates him so much, why doesn't he just say?" She added sadly as she thought of her own dad and how overbearing he could be.

Misato stopped short before going inside the other teenager's room. She was sure if he was sulking right now, otherwise he would be strumming like crazy, just like he did whenever he got had an awful day at NERV

_Like those two first months before Asuka came here._ Misato added silently.

"_Once...a woman cannot return to what she was. I cannot return to what I was in those days."_

"Well, he doesn't actually hate him." Misato added as she remembered the way Gendo had welcomed Shinji when he had entered NERV first.

Her back was still aching form that bone-crunching hug. The disbelief on Asuka's eyes prompted Misato to try and explain herself better, while protecting Shinji's emotional scars.

"It's not like he hates his father…" Misato said in a low voice. "He just has…issues letting people get too close."

"_But I still love you."_

"Japanese boys are weird..." Asuka mumbled as she chewed around a Pocky stick.

"I hear you." Misato answered back thinking of her own boy in question.

"_I told you, it's impossible."_

-----

Whatever had happened inside Shinji's room had been like a quiet storm. Misato had exited with a thoughtful look on her face, almost like she was in the verge of realizing…something…

Asuka realized that Misato was over thinking and felt guilty about it for some odd reason; then again that was the usual frame of mind she had been ever since she met Shinji, somehow it always seemed like if anything wrong happened it was her fault.

So Asuka decided to diffuse the situation by making girl talk with Misato.

"Hey, you bought a new dress didn't you? Let me see!" she exclaimed with as much giddiness as she could muster. Instantly Misato rewarded the redhead with a soft smile and happy eyes.

"Oh, you wanna see it, huh?" the redhead simply smiled and nodded and Misato motioned for her to go to her room while she picked it up from the couch.

"It's an expensive one."

Asuka smirked at that. "Price doesn't always reflect the design." She stuck her tongue at her guardian, to which Misato puffed her cheeks, eliciting a grin from the young redhead by her side.

"Tell me about it." She muttered as she took it out of the plastic bag it was encased with. "Well, what'cha think?"

Asuka was marveled at the sheer simplicity and beauty of the dress; she had always read on those girly magazines that a simple, little black dress would make wonders, make you look older, more mature.

This was definitely the type of dress they must've had in mind. A simple black sleeveless dress, with a low cut neck-line; not overtly cut to be too risqué, but low enough to denote and exhume an air of sophistication on it. Long, but not pooling at her feet, with a simple slit running on the right side, it truly was a beautiful dress.

"Did you pick this one with Kaji in mind?" Asuka asked as she turned to look at her guardian, a faint blush appearing on her face.

"Grow up!" Misato smiled and threw a soft pillow towards Asuka's face, making the girl squeal. "That was a long time ago."

-----

On his room, Shinji listened wordlessly to the squeals and laughter coming form it. He would never allow them to see him, and he would deny it if they happened to walk but, but that night, Shinji went to sleep with a relaxed, peaceful smile on his face.

-----

Asuka kept wondering, not for the first time what she was doing here. Jiro looked like an o.k. type of guy; he had been waiting for her with flowers and chocolates, outside of the Meguro station. She had been flattered; so he was a bit overweight and those small, rounded glasses simply drew attention to his round face; she was glad he wasn't a slick smooth talking biker gangster as she had wondered before, only the terror of having to face off Hikari on Monday at school (as well as a few, strategically placed calls Hikari made to her phone) kept Asuka from running away.

"Y-you look lovely…" Jiro said, as a blush colored his face. Somehow it made Asuka feel more comfortable, and she bowed, smiling at the compliment.

"Thank you."

"Well, let's get going then…"

-----

Asuka sighed as she got home. She felt miserable, and close to tears.

That…that…_Baka_ had abandoned her.

So she hadn't spoken a lot; he should have known, Hikari should have told him that she really wasn't a people's person, not like Shinji or Rei.

The date had been going on great despite the forced attempts at a conversation. She really felt comfortable enough to begin small bits and pieces with Jiro. But then he had suggested they go to a cosplay café.

And then he had rented an _exact _replica of her plug suit (which seemed a bit too tight in certain areas).

And then he had requested for her to model it to him.

She had, of course denied the request and when he had told her that he had paid Hikari for this date, she trembling, but valiantly told him that Hikari wasn't her pimp, and that she had agreed to go out with him on a date, not any other type or perverted compensation date.

Jiro's answer had been to overturn the table and get up.

Fortunately for Asuka, the café staff had intervened and told Jiro to get out. Once they had made sure he had indeed walked away and was not looming nearby, the told Asuka to leave as well.

Asuka whimpered but nodded, feeling dumb for not knowing what to do, and for not bringing her cell-phone with her.

Luckily for her, as soon as she put a foot outside the door, a black sedan was already expecting her, the door opened as two section 2 agents waited for her to get in and drive her home.

So now, as she walked into her small room, covered in red a pink pastel colors, she went directly towards her nightstand, extracting her violin from within it and placing it on her chin.

And she began to play it.

She played for hours, or for days…but each time, she felt the music growing bolder, louder and sadder. She sniffled thru a bit, but forced herself to keep on playing, needing this as a way to expunge those feelings of unworthiness form her self.

Music had always had this effect on her; no matter how miserable she felt, the small violin she cradled against her hands as a new mother would a newborn always managed to drive those feelings away from her.

She lost track of how long she was playing until the sound of two clapping hand made her turn in surprise.

Who-

Asuka gasped.

Shinji.

"That was very nice, Asuka." He said with his trademark smirk. "I didn't know you played." He said easily, walking towards the small kitchen while Asuka turned around, in part to put away the violin, in part to hide her blushing face.

"I-I started when I was five." She stammered, fidgeting with the bow as she heard Shinji' rummaging inside the refrigerator. "B-but I'm still not very good. I have no talent at all."

The last part was meant as a small whisper; a small self-deprecating humor attempt meant only for her to hear and smile at.

"Well…"

Instead she came face to face with a cold bottle of soft drink, along with the upside down face of Shinji looking into her eyes, taking advantage of her still sitting state. He had his smirk still in place, but somehow, with the way his face was upside down, the way his bangs were sticking into the air, he look almost childish.

Childish _and _cute.

"Perseverance wins the battle." He finished with a wink, getting upright and walking towards the window, enjoying the night summer breeze. "I'm impressed."

Asuka shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. "I only started because my teachers told me to. But I could've quit anytime."

"So, why didn't you?"

For some reason, that question asked met with a wall of silence; Shinji had softly uttered it almost as if he didn't believe he wanted to know. Asuka was left speechless, the last thing she expected was for Shinji to ask such a question to her; normally he would have simply uttered something about silly little girls and walk away.

"Huh?" Asuka eloquently tried to buy herself some time, only to see directly into Shinji's dark blue eyes.

"N-nobody told me to stop, I guess."

Shinji blinked at that and opened his mouth as if to say something, but stopped. Instead he kept his gaze straight ahead.

"Oh…" He muttered before turning to look at her, the look that made him seem like a lost little boy replaced in a second with his confident air and smirk.

"I should have known." He said in a silky tone, before frowning. "Well, if it weren't for these stupid robots, I would be a rock idol right now." Shinji shrugged. "I would be touring with Sato and Manabe…I'd have Kenji's place." He smirked, signaling at his black t-shirt whihc held a white letter "P" with an exclamation mark.

"I'd be a Little Buster right about now."

Asuka was aware that Shinji had no talent whatsoever to save his life, but somehow knew he simply meant it to break the icy silence that was setting in the room. _As long as he don't ask about my da-_

"Hey, you're back early." He said finally as he caught wind of the time. "I thought you were going out to dinner, too."

_Crap!_

"Oh! M-my date wasn't even that interesting." Asuka closed the violin case and began to make a hasty retreat towards her room. "Uhm…I-I guess you would say that he was even more boring than me..."

Before she could even walk away she felt it again, a gentle soft pressure, something encircling her wrist. She turned down and saw Shinji's calloused hand over hers, his thumb and index finger locked around like a manacle.

"What happened?"

He was looking directly at her.

"Wh-why would you think something happened?" Asuka asked looking away, trying to get loose. "Shinji c'mon let me go."

"Not until you tell me what happened." Shinji smirked. When he saw Asuka still wasn't looking at him, he decided to change tactics. "Look; you have two choices, either you tell _me_, or I get the Section 2 reports from my old man. Either way I will know before the end of the day."

Shinji stood tall, and as Asuka let her arm fall to her side, he crossed his arms in a sure sign of victory.

"And why would you want to know…" She asked in a small voice. "Do you want to have more ammo to bully me? To make me feel bad?"

Shinji was taken aback when she looked up and he saw tears slowly streaming down her cheeks. He gulped and felt more of a bastard in that moment; he also felt something… something alien in him; something that seemed out of place within himself, like a warm fuzzy pink blanket in a room full of death rock paraphernalia.

Why did he want to grab that blanket and place it around Asuka's slim frame?

"To make a long and boring story short and less boring, the guy was an idiot, he left me while I was standing in line for the roller coaster."

Shinji simply looked at her…that seemed plausible, but his instincts were telling him otherwise.

"And how did you get here then?"

"I took a train back here."

Something inside Shinji relaxed as Asuka began to calm down. He finally shrugged and turned around. "That seems kinda cold." He said flatly. "The guy must have been an idiot."

Asuka smiled shyly at that. "Y-you think?"

"Of course." Shinji smiled roguishly. "A wimp like you? I would have taken you to the scary rides so you would have squealed and hugged on to me."

Asuka turned to look at him as Shinji threw her a quick glance over his shoulder, a mischievous expression on his eyes.

"That or to the love tunnel to make out." He winked.

He was rewarded with the usual routine

A blush.

An 'Eeep'

A door slamming shut.

-----

_Hey Asuka? It's me. I'm gonna' be out drinking with Kaji. Don't wait up for me, Ok. _

The message had been quick and concise, just like all of Misato's were. Asuka had no more chance than to stammer out a short "Right, yeah, sure." Before the dial tone was the next thing she heard.

Great, and she was hungry too.

"Hey, was that Misato?"

Asuka turned to Shinji, a take out menu already in her hands. "Yeah she said she'll be late, so don't wait up for her."

"Heh! So…You mean she won't be back until tomorrow morning?"

"I doubt it, she's going out with Kaji."

"So that means we have the apartment all to ourselves, then?"

"Yeah…I was thinking on ordering some take out…what do you wan…" The words died in her mouth as she looked up and saw Shinji decked only in a wife beater and boxer shorts. Shinji looked at her with a curious look before a predatory smile flashed across his face.

"So _that_ means _I_ have _you_ all to _myself_, huh?" Shinji let out a low growl. Asuka simply nodded still with a blush in her face.

"Asuka…" Shinji continued, advancing slowly towards Asuka who simply stood there, almost rooted to where she was standing. As soon as Shinji came mere inches from her, she began to take a step back for everyone he took forward, until her back was pressed against the wall.

"I want you…" He whispered in the small space between them.Asuka shivered lightly and closed her eyes, her face, her whole body red and warm and-

Shinji pulled back.

"To order for me…just nothing too spicy." He smirked at her, walking towards the couch and turning the TV on.

Asuka blinked. It took her a moment or two before she finally registered this and threw a cushion at an already laughing Shinji.

-----

The plates had been cleaned and Shinji was back to watching TV, while Asuka was sitting by the table, her face leaning against its surface, her right fingers gently tapping against it. The last hours had been spent in tense silence, eating in silence, stealing glances in silence.

"Hey, Asuka. You wanna kiss me?"

Asuka looked up, unsure if she had heard correctly or not.

"Eh? What?"

"Kissing." Shinji added, powering the TV set off and turning to look straight at the red head, the lower half of his body hidden by the couch, his arms crossed on top of the couches, looking like a perverted jack in the box.

"You know; the thing you do when you finish dates." He smirked, a playful, dangerous smirk, like a small kitten toying around with a bird of a mouse; not really hunting them, just being playful and not caring if the mouse or bird were trembling and scared.

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

Asuka blushed, remembering when she woke up after the synch training, and staring into Shinji's peaceful, sleeping face. How his semi-parted lips seemed so warm and inviting and-

"Hey…Aka…I'm talking to you…"

Asuka looked away and blushed, wondering if she was as transparent as she felt. Sure, Shinji could be a bit of a dense idiot, charging objects deemed by him as obstacles head first.

But underneath it all, she somehow felt that sometimes, most of the times Shinji, like her, wore a heavy cloak and a mask over his face; something to cover his whole inner self, to keep everyone at bay.

He sometimes looked like the shell of what was left of an angry young man; angry at himself, angry at the world.

And other times, he had the playful qualities of an overgrown kitten, one who loved playing with things between his furry paws.

"Hey." He said, now sitting in front of her, his hand propping his head up, a lazy smile on his face. "I'm talking to ya…have you ever kissed someone?"

"N-"

Shinji smiled.

"I knew it." He got up, walked past the mere inches separating them, and looked down at her, a playful smirk like a crooked smile in his face. Asuka inched lower down her chair; only her eyes and the top of her head were visible.

"So..?" Shinji said in a low husky tone. "Let's do it."

"Wh-" Asuka blushed. "B-but why?"

"Hah!" Shinji laughed, as if he head witnessed a small private joke. "I knew you were too afraid to do something about it."

"Huh?"

"Besides, you would be so lucky as to kiss the best catch at school." Shinji smirked at her again, but now, it was his infuriating smirk, the one he used whenever he was picking on her.

"You should've said yes, Aka."

The one he used when he was making fun of her.

"_You_ would have been able to boast to your friends, if you had any, about kissing _me_." Shinji punctuated the last part by pointing at himself with his thumb. "While _I_ would've had to lower my standards."

The one he used when he was nagging on her.

"Oh well…" Shinji said as he took a half turn and went back towards the TV set. "You snooze, you lose."

Something in Asuka snapped. She did not jump, she did not cry, she simply did something that had always been out of character for her.

She talked back.

"I think you are the one who is afraid."

Shinji stopped and turned around slowly, a different smirk on his lips.

She stood up.

"Yeah." Asuka said, her mind working at top speed, relaying and replaying information making her move forward, not losing any momentum. "That's it."

Now she was standing up, and walking up to him; _She_ was closing the gap, _She_ was invading his personal space.

"Are you scared?" she said softly, looking up to his calm, stormy blue eyes; her own eyes blazing with pent up frustration. "Afraid to kiss a girl?"

_Ball's on your court, Ikari._

"Not really." Shinji smirked. "I'd do it if you do it."

_Balls on my court._

"No." Asuka stated firmly. And Shinji's smile, for the first time in the whole tête-à-tête faltered and left his lips.

"_I'd _do it because _You'd_ want to." And with that final piece, Asuka closed the final inches, her nose just mere inches from Shinji's nose.

"Why would _you_ do it?"

There it was, the quiet urgency on her voice, the ultimate challenge made to him; _Take control for once, take control and accept that you like me like I like you, don't blame it on a training like you did during the synch._

_Don't blame it on orders like when you saved me at the volcano. _

_Don't blame you staying with me, living with me, on us being pilot, or being convenient._

_I want you to be with me because of me._

Shinji shrugged, the smile never leaving the place between his lips.

"I've got nothing else to do."

Asuka felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, taking the air from her.

"That's your reason?" Asuka squeaked. She was a closet romantic, and being so close to a boy who was attractive, even if he did sometimes go out of his way to bully her, made her as nervous as…well…a schoolgirl.

"N-no way!" She managed to say and muster as much confidence as she could, crossing her arms at her chest, turning her face away.

"You're weird..." She sniffed affectedly. Shinji smirked and turned to leave.

"And you _are_ afraid."

He turned to her. "I'm not afraid!" He said forcefully, yet, somehow, it felt like he was telling _himself _he wasn't; like he was making his brain and will come in synch with his thoughts and his voiced opinions.

"Pucker up!" He said, and was once again close to her.

"R-right." Asuka stammered, looking at his eyes, and then at his lips, licking her own instinctively.

"Did you brush your teeth?" He was close._ So_ close.

"Yeah." Shinji answered in a whisper.

_Really_ close.

"Then, here I come." Asuka whispered back, inching towards him, stopping just a breath away from his slightly parted lips, alternatively looking at his eyes and his lips.

Just like him.

"S-stop breathing." She let out in a hush. "You're tickling me."

And then, quick as a snake biting it's prey; her hand snaked upwards, her finger deftly pinching his nose shut, while her lips closed the final frontier, smashing into his with a force, a feeling of hunger, of want, of need.

It was a desperate kiss, born out of their mutual feelings of loneliness, or wanting, _needing_ to have a connection with those around them, but being so lonely, _so scared_ to effectively look for it.

Asuka felt it like a kiss out of the agony of a soul, and the anguish born out of it; of anxiety, and concern; of dejection, depression, desolation, and despair.

Shinji felt this kiss out of distraction, but that held inside such a powerful distress, such a deep fear, an overwhelming gloom, and a powerful grief.

Asuka 's kiss was out of heartache; of hopelessness. Out of a sad melancholy and just plain misery.

Shinji's kiss was out of pain, like pangs of sorrow, a soft, bearable torture, sometimes evoking unhappiness, but other times, times such as this of something more-

Shinji broke off, taking deep gulps of breaths, his heart was racing, his lungs were threatening to explode, he was close to passing out due to shortness of breath and asphyxiation.

And it was all due to that mind numbing, soul wrenching kiss he had just been dealt.

And now Asuka was running, hiding her tears, closing herself in the bathroom, opening the faucets and gurgling loudly for him to hear.

"I should never kiss to kill time!" Shinji muttered loudly, trying to hide the sting in his heart.

-----

And now, here they were, in front of each other; Kaji had already left, saying good night and bashfully attempting to stop Misato form glomping onto him again. Misato was tucked nicely inside her bed they had been avoiding each other for the past hours, the tense silence broken by the cheerful voice of Kaji as he dragged a happily drunken Misato into the apartment.

But now, they were here, and there were no walls behind they could hide.

"What's wrong?" Shinji smirked when he saw Asuka was sheepishly standing behind him, his familiar smirk back in place. "You look upset. "

"That's because you kissed me!" Asuka shouted at him, anger and hurt present in her eyes, she turned, retreating into her room, a part of her hating him for giving her false hopes, and a part of her loving him for the kiss they had shared moments ago.

"You jerk!"

So she never saw Shinji's thoughtful, frown, nor how he looked at her, a look of longing, of wanting.

Of need.

Silently, he saw her closing the door, not forcefully; just a simple shove, a quiet click, and the latch mentioning the finality of it all.

So why did it felt like something more heavy; like an iron door, a steel curtain being drawn across them both.

Frowning, Shinji shook his head, muttering something about angry redheaded babies and went to sleep.

But before getting into bed, he washed his teeth and sucked them in.

They tasted like mint.

And like strawberry lipgloss.

----- -----

_It would be several days after when Shinji Ikari would be absorbed by Leliel and by some strange twist of faith, the Shinji Ikari from this reality would be transported the a different reality, where a far more tamer Shinji, a far more introverted Rei, a far more competitive Asuka and a far more laid back Misato resided._

_But that's a different story…_

----- -----

_AN. So there you have it, once again the idea is based on Magnum's idea, and was preread and approved by him. Sadly, the draft I sent toHhideaki Anno never got returned, but I did receive a phone call from some practical joker who in broken engrish told me he was a "lawyer by Gainax" and that the "story was good yet not real" and that I should "Cease, desist or stop" from doing this._

_Fresh…I know it was you, so stop playing prank calls man._


	9. Kiss 02, Way 13

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: **K#02 (News, Letter), W#13 (Flight)

**Title: **Equivalent Exchange.

**A.N.: **I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one shot if I'm still blocked, if not, expect the other chapter of 10 things briefly.

Pre-required read: Ryoma's "Best Laid Plans 2", just for those "This is waaaay too OOC" gripes.

Full disclaimer is at the end.

**----- -----**

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

----- -----

_Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. (Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange)_

----- -----

"If there was ever a time when both of you where the happiest… it pales in comparison to right here, right now."

Everyone cheered. The room filling with the sounds of clapping, chanting and general signs of merriment, affection and appreciation were showed, making the newly weds blush profusely, one of them choking back a few tears even while her face showed the pride of being here today, after all of what had happened.

Her best friend smiled and decided to make this moment last for as long as possible, before she clicked on her glass, the clear sharp tingling noise emanating form within attracting the eyes of everyone in the room, making the conversations slowly stop, then fade into the background before finally silence engulfed the room.

"I remember when I first met you…" she said, pointing to her best friend throughout school, maybe even in the entire world, a smile gracing both of their lips. "You were a handful, a condensed ball of energy; always upbeat and bouncing, striving for the attention of everyone."

She paused, wet her lips and looked at the groom.

"You were the outsider…" she smiled solemnly at the groom, noticing the smile of them both, how they complemented each other, how there was nothing that could make this day go wrong. "When you first came, I didn't trust you, and only tolerated you because it was expected from me…"

When the chuckles subsided, she smirked again.

"You've come a long way…"

She continued in the tradition of using the time to make a speech to roast the newlywed couple, recounting countless anecdotes, some funny, some that made the bride, or sometimes the groom, and other times both, blush profusely but that made all of the crowd, their close friends, as well as those new and old, smile and laugh.

But as with everything, it too, came to an end.

"So now…all I have to say is congratulations to the both of you…" and there was moisture in her eyes from taking a stroll down memory lane with the two people she had come to treat more like an annoying younger sister and an overly affectionate older brother than as mere school friends.

"May your marriage be long and prosperous, may you find the happiness you have been looking for, and may you do all that you hoped to do while holding each other's hand like you do today…"

She was crying now, openly, honestly…something few had ever seen her do, she hugged her best friend, easing back her long hair done artfully into a high ponytail, simple, yet it helped to frame her beautiful face; the wedding veil making her look more like a princess bride.

"Misato…Ryoji…" he had shaved clean of that stubble and had somehow managed to get thru his own wedding without loosening his tie, nor unbuttoning his collar. Ritsuko eyed them both and smiled thru her own tears.

"Congratulations."

----- -----

"Check."

Gendo frowned.

He really wasn't expecting the move that his opponent had managed to sneak past him. He was supposed to be a master tactician; an expert at setting people up and taking advantages from them, not the other way around.

He frowned again, looking at the board another time, and wondering how it had gotten past him…even with all the current "preparations" and other miscellaneous projects going on, he should have seen it coming. Was he so preoccupied by all the other matters that he had blindsided himself?

"It's your turn now, Commander."

He heard in the same mocking tone, but Gendo simply chose not to answer, to not committing anything, biting out sounds and instead grunting and humming. He was about to begin a retaliatory attack to cover his king when he noticed something odd.

"What is the matter Commander? Am I finally getting the best out of you?"

_He_ was the one being baited. _He_ was the one being set up.

"Or maybe you prefer _Go_ instead of chess?"

Gendo said nothing, but began to reassess all of his past moves and the outside influence on the ones he had deemed critical, noticing every time he had tried to make a move to set up a 5 step attack, the same mocking tone would be heard, trying to get him to make an error.

The worst part was that the voice, the scatting comments and biting remarks were doing a good job at that. He had made 3 major mistakes so far, now his knight, bishop and rook had been taken out of the game.

So Gendo sat in silence, his fingers intertwined at the height of the bridge of his nose, looking at the board, checking his options and thinking all of his options through.

If he had been bested by thinking 5 steps ahead, he would now start thinking 10.

----- -----

It was beautiful.

It was simply the most beautiful thing in the world right now for her.

The golden band glistened in the light, and the diamond had a way of catching the light that simply took her breath away.

Hikari Horaki simply stood mesmerized as she saw the ring on her finger, still trying to register all of what Toji had told her.

"So you mean to tell me that the time of the restaurant y-"

"Yeah…" the tall brash boy answered in an uncharacteristic whisper, a red tinge on his cheeks.

"And …the thing about the chicken bon-"

"Sorry 'bout that…" Touji said again, his teeth gnawing together as the image and the stupid excuse came back to his mind.

"And the whole-"

"Don't ya have someplace lese to be?" Touji spun around facing the smirking red head. "Or someone else ta' bother at that?"

"Actually, I came to say goodbye…" Asuka said simply, as Touji and Hikari stared at her in surprise.

----- -----

"I must say, however, that I am immensely grateful for you to acquiesce so quickly to the resolutions of the Council regarding Uni-"

"Check."

Klaus Von Scherbach looked at the board, just mere minutes he had been gloating, now he had decided that Gendo was a worthy adversary for his keen intellectual mind. A pity he had never sided with him when the opportunity had presented itself, instead choosing to somehow acquire the power that was Lorenz Kihl for his own agenda.

"It's your turn now, General."

Von Scherbach looked at the board, noticing Gendo had taken his queen out, thus lifting the check from his own king, while simultaneously placing Von Scherbach's king in check.

Attempting to gain control of the situation, killing time until he had to leave, he decided to engage Gendo in another match of chess, this one more stylized, more subtle.

"You are aware that Unit 02 will leave for Germany in 12 hours."

Gendo's face registered no emotions, but then again that was nothing new. Von Scherbach had met him, along with the head of operations for NERV-03, Dr. Langley, back when NERV was only a hushed whisper; a glimpse of things to come; back when Gendo had just become the man that now sat in front of him, and back when Langley had chosen the same path, to bury all of his emotions in his work, forsaking their own flesh and blood.

"I had not been informed of that." Gendo replied, still focused on the board and nothing more. Von Scherbach scratched at his balding head, and extracted a folded paper from within his coat.

"That's because as acting chairman for the council, I've decided you had no need to be informed." Von Scherbach retorted, his grey eyes twinkling underneath his eyebrows. His mouth curled under his mustache, colored salt and pepper gray into a cruel smirk.

"Because I would object." Gendo finally looked up, his ever present glasses catching the light and showing no sing of his eyes.

"You can object if you want." Von Scherbach motioned with his hand, moving another piece effortlessly, gliding across the board. "But the truth is you have no say in the matter. Unit 02 will be taken back for further research and development in Hamburg."

He paused his rook in front of the space to flick the other knight off.

"Along with its pilot. Check."

Gendo pursed his lips together.

"See the brilliant strategy, Ikari?" Von Scherbach continued goading Gendo, capturing another one of his knights. "You thought you held all the trump cards…but that changed the moment Kihl passed away."

"I am NERV now." Von Scherbach said as he nailed Gendo with a hateful glare and an angry smirk. "And you…? You are simply someone who suffered a casualty, who lost a loved one…"

"I lost my wife." Gendo's response came back, and there was ice in the words, a cold fury only he could deliver in a quiet hush. "I had to stand by and see her go."

"The sins of the father…" Von Scherbach said simply, but his face held no emotions, almost as if he were discussing the weather. "And so, to make up for your failures as a father, you think that granting your son liberty to come and do as he pleases, to play house with another pilot will make you get what? A request to play catch in the park? To go see a baseball game?"

Gendo remained silent, still focused on the game.

But Von Scherbach decided he still had to go for another shot, like a boxer trying to feel his way around his opponent,

"You thought I didn't know, no?" The general mimicked Gendo's posture, kneeling towards him. "We are in a position where second guessing and feelings are hindrance, where we are not allowed to ask or give quarter."

He crossed his arms across his chest and looked at Gendo straight in the eye. "We are at war…permanently. We are not to forget that for any reason, lest of all for sentimental outdated values…_Commander_."

If Gendo felt the jibe directed at him, the scorn dumped on his title, he never showed.

"Do you have any idea how sickening it was to see them both prancing around like that? They are our weapons! The Evangelions, they are nothing but tools! But the children…" He paused and sat back, crossing his arms while leveling Gendo with a glare.

"They are not to be used and disposed of, but they are NOT to be pampered and nurtured…they are to be the pilots for these killing machines! They are to be our last line of Defense! We can't run the risk of Humanity being wiped because you suddenly grew up a conscience and decided to let your child walk away! We can't walk away…the only way we get out is in a body bag or in a casket…there nothing more and nothing less…"

He paused, but Gendo still hadn't moved; he was still with his hands stapled in front of him, the light bouncing of his glasses, his face as expressive as a slab of concrete. In a flash Von Scherbach got up and slammed his hands heavily against the table, the pieces falling from the chess board.

"To try and convince him there is another way is futile and cruel. They are to be guarding you! ME! The whole world! Not delude themselves into looking for a happy life…they are soldiers, they are nothing more…nothing else!"

Von Scherbach laid back and looked at Ikari with contempt. "I used to hate you for gathering all of the Evangelions. But then, when I read reports of the battles, and how effortlessly we won, I saw your brilliant mind, and came to respect you…"

"But then this happened…you let your son become attached to her! She failed because of him! So…the only thing I can do is take her away, and begin molding her again."

He looked at Ikari who was still in the same position.

"You can keep you son." He smirked one last time. "But I get to keep your red queen."

And with that, he made his way to the door. The wooden pieces rattling against the marble floor as he knelt, and picked the red queen before placing it in the board.

----- -----

"Wanna dance?"

The question threw Asuka out of her reverie. She had been thinking, _not sulking_ by one of the many tables where the wedding was undergoing. She had known that it would have to happen eventually; the news hadn't taken her by surprise.

But it was still so hard to let go.

Asuka blinked, forcing herself to push those thoughts back and glanced at Kaji's extended hand.

"That depends…" she grinned mischievously, "Will this lead to us slinking away to the restroom and you finally making a woman out of me?" she asked with a barely contained smirk.

"Wouldn't I be a bit too late for that anyway?" Kaji asked jovially, enjoying Asuka's blushing face before he bowed like a gallant knight would to his lady.

"Asuka…you are one of the loveliest lady in this whole gathering." Kaji answered truthfully, a killer smile on his lips. "But my heart and soul are Misato's…always have been…always will…" he said as he fingered the simple white gold band around his ring finger.

Asuka smiled at that, happy for him, and although she would never accept it openly, for her as well. Silently, she took Kaji's hand and walked with him to the dancing floor, intent on enjoying herself.

"You know…" Kaji began absently as he twirled with the red head around gracefully. "I would have thought that Shinji would be here with you…"

Asuka's face became a mask of stone.

"I have to thank both of you for this…me and Misato would never have taken this step if you two hadn't butted in." Kaji continued, unaware of, or simply not caring about, the change in mood on his dancing partner.

"And I suppose that this is also true for both you and Shinji. It took me some time to figure it out, but it turned out he was right making all that he made." Kaji paused turning to look at another couple nearby.

"Toji and Hikari, for instance." Kaji said smiling, but Asuka refused to look at her best friend. She was happy, she _really_ was, but in this moment, with so much on the line, she was just plain jealous.

"Hikari would have kept shuffling thru the motions, and then she would have finally decided to let go and look for someone else." Kaji paused and turned to look.

Asuka smiled at that, memories of how she had been trying to help her friend and that…She smiled, realizing she could refer to Toji as a jock or an idiot, but in all honesty, she had come to tolerate him, if not for Hikari then for Shi-

"It really was nothing…It was my obligation…after all she IS my friend." Asuka replied haughtily, and in that moment Kaji saw something…a chink in the armor she always wore.

It began with Asuka looking at where Hikari was dancing, and how she looked, how both she and Toji looked.

They looked happy.

They looked complete.

Kaji and her kept dancing, a soft ballad and Asuka smiled while Toji and Hikari talked softly amongst themselves, a soft smile here, a blush there, her fingers at the nape of his neck while he held her so close yet so lightly, like he was afraid of breaking her.

And Hikari kept looking at her ring finger, which held a modest gold band topped with a discreet stone; it might not be that big, or that sparkling, but Asuka remembered when Toji had finally come out clean, how both she and Hikari had confronted Shinji and Toji to tell them the truth.

How Toji had gritted his teeth and looked at Shinji who had simply nodded in a grim way; how Toji had then kneeled in front of Hikari, taking her hand with his own shaking hand and, pulling the finger out of the velvet box, he slid it down her finger, asking her the most important question he had ever asked the pigtailed girl.

And now, they were making plans, plans about the future, plans about a future she might not have, plans about the future she thought she had never wanted until she realized they were taking that choice from her; it wasn't so much that she wanted to get married and have children, but…somewhere along the lines, she had come to think of it as an alternate ending for her.

That had changed earlier today, and that had changed everything afterwards.

She blinked when she felt the burning became tears and smiled to herself, chiding herself for being a sentimental fool.

But Kaji…

Kaji witnessed all of this, and slowly, masterfully, he danced towards a balcony, and just as the song had ended, he grabbed Asuka's hand and walked outside with her, before looking at her in the eye.

"They've already told you, didn't they?"

And Asuka simply stood there, and nodded at this. "The truth is…" Asuka began, paused and passed her tongue thru her lips to wet them, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "The truth is, Kaji…"

She had been looking at her feet, shuffling with Kaji when she suddenly looked up, a radiant, beautiful smile on her face.

"I do want to do it. I'm going home, and I simply came to say goodbye." she finished lamely, and _God!_ did she feel incredibly stupid with that flimsy excuse. Kaji smirked at that, but decided the rebuttal would contain cold hard facts, logic and figures…if Asuka was trying to mask everything by simply saying she wanted to leave, that Germany needed her, that NERV still had a use for her, that Eva was still the most important thing in her life, he would make sure to make those statements come crashing down.

Kaji looked carefully at the smiling face of Asuka. Anybody else would have given her a look and said she was indeed honestly happy about leaving home.

But Kaji knew better. Kaji knew _her_ better.

"So you are looking forward to gong back then?"

"W-" Asuka was sure he was going to tell her to stay, but this unexpected question made her stop short. Kaji continued undauntedly, though.

"It must be really hard, and you must miss a lot of things form home..."

"I…" Asuka smiled, but the smile never reached her eyes. "I miss so much about Germany and don't even know where to begin."

So he simply looked at her with deep sad eyes, and in those eyes Asuka could swear she could see a little bit of Shinji in him, the light slump of his shoulders, the way his mouth became a thin line drawn downwards.

"I miss the food, the wonderful German festivals I used to go to, the _Marketplatz_ and the _Schnoor_, the _Schlachte_ and walking down the _Liebfrauenkirche_; the weather and the people."(1)

She smiled a little as the nostalgia of everything came to her like unrestrained waves. "I miss Germany and every day I stayed here I hoped to return..."

Asuka paused, and forced her smile to become bigger, brighter, until it pained her jaw, and the corners of her mouth, but most of all it pained her inside.

"So I'm really looking forward to going back."

She looked at Kaji expectantly, waiting for him to say something. Instead, he simply sighed and extracted a cigarette from within his tuxedo, lighting it and exhaling a soft plume of wispy smoke.

Finally, he spoke.

"I'm sorry…" Kaji said softly. "If it were up to me, I would grant you this. As it is I don't have the authority to make any changes. Everything will go according to plan."

"Wh-what do you…?" Asuka stopped and turned to look at her long time crush, her long time guardian, and the closest thing she ever had to a father, to a brother.

The closest she had to family; he and Misato and Shinji and everybody here.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

And it hurt; it pained her like nothing could. But she had promised she would never cry.

"Asuka...I'm not able to stop the wheels from turning. As an active Evangelion Pilot, you are to follow orders." Kaji said simply, flatly, covering his mouth as he took another drag from his cigarette.

"You've been given your orders by the High Command; Asuka Langley Sohryu, Designated Second Child and Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 will be going back to Germany, to NERV-3."

The moment Asuka heard her name, her designation, what made her Asuka Langley Sohryu, she stood straight, like a soldier receiving orders, but her eyes, her mouth; her whole face betrayed the girl that was beneath the hard surface; the girl that wanted to cry at the injustice of it all.

"You'll be going whether you want it, or not." Kaji finished with another long drag. "The minute you began to drop hints for a change in departure time Von Scherbach accelerated the time table; the moment you began to grasp at straws trying to stop the whole thing from happening-"

"N-no...I..." Asuka interjected, a pathetic smile, the kind one flashes when they have been discovered in a lie, but refuse to accept was now gracing her lips. "I just didn't want thing to go wrong..."

"You had an interview with the Japanese government liaison to see if they could fast track your request for Japanese citizenship."

"That was bec-"

"A request for citizenship you asked for when you heard about Von Scherbach's intention of moving Unit 02 to Germany. You asked the German embassy a plea to renounce citizenship, citing as a resource the fact that your mother was a Japanese National."

Asuka passed her tongue thru her lips again, feeling her throat dry and constricted.

"I…" she stammered. "I was simply telling them to void the req-"

"There was even talk for a request of political asylum, until the UN shot it down citing your own ability to synch with Eva 02 as the basis of the mandate to submit to UN authority."

Asuka's silence was all Kaji needed. He sighed and walked to the bench in front of them.

"H-how did you know?"

"Please Asuka, give me a little more credit." Kaji said and with that single sentence, Asuka suddenly felt drained, tired, physically tired, emotionally dry, and just generally spent. She leaned against the stone railing and simply…looked at him.

"So just come clean…"

He looked at her in the eye, before letting out a soft question. "Do you really want to go back?"

Those eyes; that posture, the same kind of sad, melancholic look _he_ had given her, the same posture _he_ had before she left him at the apartment.

"No..." she began in a soft voice.

"I don't..." she stopped, brushing her hand against her eyes as she felt them sting and burn and hurt, and then felt a salty wetness on her cheeks. "I don't want to go back..."

Kaji kept quiet, and Asuka continued on.

"So what if it's the only operational base? What if they need Eva 02 for further Research and Development?" she said lowly, her whole frame trembling because of the sadness, of the repressed anger.

"But why do they need me?"

Kaji had been sure that sooner or later she was going to explode, and he was actually surprised she hadn't done that in the church or at the beginning of the reception.

"They say they need my unit 02…" she said in a harsh whisper. "They know I can't live without her…They…they…"

"Asuka…" Kaji said softly. "You know it was bound to happen; the angels are gone, there is no other reason for unit 02 to stay here. It's either this or turning it into scrap."

"But they know I won't let it go, she needs me as much as I need her…I just can't part with her…I just can't…" Asuka turned at the ledge and hunched herself. Behind her, Kaji snuffed the cigarette and approached her.

"But you are going to Germany…" Kaji said quietly. "It's what you had wanted ever since Von Scherbach came here..."

"B-but I-"

"Be careful what you wish for Asuka." Kaji said simply, flatly, with a sense of finality.

"I don't care!" Asuka let out an anguished scream as she turned to Kaji and punched him in the chest, letting part of her frustration bottled within free. "I don't care if I wanted to go back for God knows how long! I don't want to go back now!"

She was now crying softly against Kaji's chest, not really caring if anyone was hearing or if anybody else cared, because the people she cared about _cared_; Kaji cared, he was here, holding her, soothing her. Misato cared; earlier today she had broken down and cried with her in her arms, while Asuka had remained silent and cold, but inside was bawling like a baby.

"All I can remember about that base is the horrible training! The coldness of the people in there! Von Scherbach and his orders..."

Hikari cared; she had told her, while crying, that she hoped to see her again, even began making plans to head over on one of her school breaks. The stooges cared, they hadn't said anything about her, but had made the supreme sacrifice of not picking on her.

Even Rei and the new boy cared about her.

"I don't care about Germany..." she kept mumbling as Kaji's calloused hands massaged her head, making her body shudder as another break of sobs escaped from within her.

"It stopped being my home when I came here, when I fought here! It stopped being my home the minute I risked my life here, for all of them...and now they want me to go back! Like some good soldier, like a good little doll!"

Kaji sighed and held her closer to him, catching Misato's form on the threshold of the balcony, her own face glistening with shed tears.

They remained like that for what seemed like hours; Kaji soothingly rubbing his hand on Asuka's back, feeling his own heart breaking for one of the girls he loved the most holding her as she cried, while the party was still going on full swing.

A soft click on the door and the worried face of Misato made Kaji smile at her reassuringly, and wave her away, wordlessly telling her that everything will be ok, that it was bound to happen; that the young German Red head could not keep everything bottled up indefinitely.

Misato walked back, mouthing a "thank you" at Kaji before closing the doors of the balcony, and drawing the curtains to make sure nobody came by.

As the sobbing stopped, as the tears dried and as her eyes became parched pieces of flesh, Asuka got up, hiccupped and let out a sigh.

"You know you don't have to accept the assignment." Kaji began running his hand through Asuka's red hair. "You can always ju-"

"There's no point anyway, Kaji." she said softly, cutting him off. She got up and shrugged, and it broke Kaji's heart to see her like that, walking towards the door.

"You said it yourself; I have to go…it's my responsibility as an Eva Pilot."

Kaji looked at her, not saying anything. She stopped short, turning quickly and enveloping the older man in a bear hug, burrowing her face in his chest.

"Congratulations to you and Mrs. Kaji, Ryoji…I'm so happy for the both of you." Asuka smiled, before she walked out the door.

Once she was out of his sight, Kaji's hand came to softly brush his rugged cheeks and eyes, before muttering softly, "_Ich seh Dir in die Augen, Kleines…_"(2)

It was then that he realized it was the first time she had called him by his given name.

----- -----

"Are you leaving?"

The soft question from Shinji made Asuka stop, tensing her back. She had hoped not to do this here; she had hoped to have a graceful exit, saying good-bye and maybe shedding a tear or two, something natural, not bawling like a baby like she had done with Kaji.

"Yes." Asuka said softly, letting out a sigh.

She was in the courtyard, almost ready to leave, the limousine probably on its way to pick her up and take her to the hangar bay, to leave Japan and everything she loved, secretly and openly behind.

"What about us?" Shinji asked as he walked up to her. "Where you even gonna say goodbye?"

The soft music wafting from the party gave added to the romantic scenery to the courtyard, a modified garden, green and overflowing with life, a soft warm breeze flowing by.

"Shinji." it was a faint touch, and Shinji turned to see Asuka's finger bracing his hand softly, and she was looking at it, a beat and a pause; almost as if she were unsure of how to proceed. "You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?"

Shinji looked away, still hurt ad angry and thinking why? Why was she doing this? His mind was trying to understand why she couldn't make it hurt less. Asuka simply held her hand against his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

"You're an idiot…"

It came out as something natural for her and it hurt so much to the both of them how she used their secret name, the word she used only for him and him alone.

"I can't believe that after all this time you still don't know ONE thing about me."

Shinji looked at her and sighed, trying not to notice how his own eyes were burning as well.

"Fine, then why didn't you say something?"

"W-well…because…" Asuka began to say softly, but her voice and her breath and her posture began to grow, to get more and more agitated. His eyes were still trained on her and it was so hard for her to say the words and accept that.

"Because it is too damn hard Shinji! I can't even _begin_ to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me _not want to _go…So if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye!"

She could have said that; she _should_ have said that.

But instead in the last moment, Asuka Langley Sohryu chickened out, and exploded.

"YOU NEVER ASKED ME TO STAY!!" she shouted and huffed and sobbed and her tears were streaming down her cheeks now. "You never once asked me to stay Idiot! Ever!"

It was her silence what finally made Shinji snort; he had tried to let her know, but it seemed like she was more interested in going back, the scene at the kitchen, at school, the countless times he had tried to talk to her finally emerging making him stare at with hurt and with anger.

"You know what? After all we've been through I can't believe _this_ is how you want to leave things between us." Shinji muttered before turning around. "Have a have a good time in Germany."

Asuka stayed silent at that, her whole body trembled, inhaling sharply to try and calm herself.

"You could have stopped all this, you know..."

"That's not my choice to make." he said quietly, and Asuka simply rolled her eyes at that and turned, her red hair flipping with the motion, showing him her back.

"I know…it's mine…" she said forcefully and turned to him. "So I made the call, and I made my choice."

Shinji looked down but chose to keep quiet, the anger of Asuka almost palpable, becoming almost a tangible aura surrounding her, coming of in waves from within her.

"Shinji I don't want you to be tomorrow around when I leave." Asuka said, and then left, without waiting for an answer, without turning back. Shinji said nothing, until Asuka was a few steps way from him.

Then he pleaded in a small voice.

"Please?"

Asuka stood there, and Shinji felt a bit of hope.

"Shinji…" Asuka began in a controlled tone. "There's nothing you or I can do. I have my orders, and you have yours." Asuka turned to him, and he could see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"So please…" Asuka began, her voice quivering under the strain. "I don't want to do this, not today, and not tomorrow…I know that we'll fight, and I don't want my last memories of you to be like that."

Shinji was about to say something, but her eyes made him stop, like always just a single look form her eyes, bluer than the bluest sky would make him simply nod and agree with whatever she wanted.

"So what do we do now?"

"Just…hold me…and let me have my last dance…"

And so, slowly, the danced, silently, letting the music guide them on their step. And as with everything, it ended, and before Shinji could utter a word, Asuka placed her finger against his mouth, silencing him.

"No. don't say anything…it's hard enough as it is."

Silently, she rested her head against his, enjoying how nice, how good and natural this felt, wishing for a few seconds that it could last forever.

And then, when they had danced for as long as they could, when the enchantment was about to end, She stoped, and just as silently, turned and walked away. And with each step, Shinji could feel as another bit of him was chipped away.

There are few things sadder in life than seeing someone walk away, watching as they slowly become smaller and smaller, as the distance swallows them whole after they've left, the space between both bodies expanding slowly, inexorably until there's nothing but empty space and silence.

Shinji watched this, feeling the distance become a void, feeling the sadness slowly boil, transmuting into frustration, into anger at himself for not fighting, for standing still, for not taking action.

For not doing anything.

And so, Shinji choked back his own tears, brushing the back of his hand angrily against his eyes, turning around and walking towards the party.

----- -----

"What are you doing Ikari-kun?"

Shinji blearily lifted his head from between her arms, squinting and looking at the swimming images of the 3 or 7 Rei Ayanami and guests that stood in front of her. Rei tilted her head to one side, noticing the sad smile on Shinji's face, how his eyes were held by a distant point, how he blinked every now and then.

"Are you…enjoying yourself?" The question was asked with caution and trepidation, almost as if Rei knew the real answer but wanted to hear it from the boy, and Shinji simply nodded and smiled at her.

"You know me…"

"I haven't seen you dancing with Sohryu…"

"Yeah, well, you know her…" Shinji said and suddenly there was a soft sob. "She came to say good bye."

Shinji sobered up; looking at the half empty glass he had been drinking before muttering mostly to himself.

"I really thought she'd stay."

"You are aware that getting inebriated will do little to help you tomorrow." Rei said flatly, sitting next to her. "In fact, I believe the hangover will make it worst."

"I don't care…I want to be numb and drunk all through tomorrow and the next day and the one after…" Shinji hiccupped. "There nothing else for me to do any way…"

Rei sighed and seated. "I am not that familiar with this bonding process, but I am sure Sohryu would have wanted for me to be with you in a time like this."

Shinji smiled bitterly at that. "Yeah…apparently after all she had the best intentions and plans for all of us."

"Did you tell her how you felt?"

"Every time I tried to, she kept giving me this ode to Germany; _Oh Germany, Germany_..._The great, great Germany_…" Shinji said sarcastically, slurring every word as he made wild movements with his arms.

"What's so great about it any way?"

"That I cannot tell you." Rei said as she threw a meaningful glance to the bartender who nodded at her and then walked out, grabbing Shinji and half dragging him, half carrying him outside.

"What I can tell you is that you have to make a choice."

"What are you talking about Rei?" Shinji grumbled. "You are not making any sense."

Rei walked into the taxi waiting for her while Kaworu held the door for her and Shinji. She got in, and held the drunken boy as the bar tender placed him inside, Kaworu slipping him a few yen notes for his help.

"Asuka made her choice."

"Yeah...so?" He said drowsily, as Rei sat next to him, and Kaworu sandwiched him, Shinji's head resting against Rei's shoulder. "She's taking a page from my book; she's running away…"

"You both are." Rei finished as Shinji's head lolled before finally sleep claimed him. "You are both giving up."

----- -----

The sun was so bright, it just wasn't fair.

She had wanted for it to be dark and cloudy and rainy, a perfect mirror of her inner self; she wanted rain so she could blame on it the wetness she would feel on her face and cheeks later today.

She had been sitting in the living room for a great deal of the day, simply petting and sobbing into Pen-pen's feathers, crying with parched eyes for God knew how long.

She sighed, sniffing, and wiping her eyes, cursing herself for showing any signs of weakness again.

Asuka stopped by Shinji's door, placing her hand against the stupid wooden sign and quietly remembering how long had it been since the thought of being away from this place, from this familiar walls and the people she called her friends and loved ones had crawled on her, making her physically feel completely lonely.

Especially when her mind thought about a certain blue-eyed boy.

She knew she would have to eventually make her way to the limousine waiting at the entrance of her apartment. But she wanted to wait, look again, to take it all in and remember everything as it was.

One more time.

She wanted to remember all the little things that had shaped her feelings for him, all the small nuances that made him who he was, that made her love him.

She opened his room and looked around his room, noticing on one of the drawers of his closet a small bottle of body wash; a memento he had kept from that time he had saved her from the volcano.

"_Shinji? Idiot, don't go overboard."_

In front of her was the cello he would often play, and Asuka walked to it and pressed her hand against the grand instrument, plucking the strings and enjoying the distending sound, remembering the first time she had heard him play that soulful way he always did and the ki-

"_Hey, Shinji, do you want to kiss?"_

She was crying gain, her hand against her mouth, her fingers on her lips, a sad, wistful smile merging with her tears as they began to flow freely; It wasn't because she had a crush on him, because she liked him or wanted to go steady, it wasn't because Shinji had been her first kiss, or because he had saved her…

It was all that, everything else, and nothing at all.

It was the falling rain that had drenched them the last time it had rained in this city as they had been walking back from school, cutting against the buildings and the trees to stay as dry as possible, the warmness of his body as he tried to shield her with his jacket, and the blush on his face when she stayed too close to him.

It was the lazy afternoons they had spent simply staring out the window, watching as the sun gave way to the darkness and the stars, enjoying the soothing sound of the cicadas and their lullaby; he would get up and walk into the kitchen, and come out with two glasses of tea, and simply sit and enjoy the company of the other in silence.

It was early morning and the smell of fresh made breakfast.

It was late nights over snacks and _Pocky_ sticks.

It was cheesy movies and dumb television shows and video games and boxed lunches and synch tests and long walks and her watching him under her red bangs and noticing just how much he meant to her, how every time he would hug her, or simply hold her hand would make her stomach do flip-flops and her knees shake.

How a single innocent peck on her lips would make her heart swell and how all the collective actions would somehow make it seem like there was order and meaning to the universe itself.

_Just every day...Little things like that...Little by little...He broke down the walls..._

She sighed, grabbing her small duffel bag, checking for the last time her room, previously a homely, comfortable mess, an organized chaos, than now seemed so clean and antiseptic, so devoid of life and feeling.

Everything was neatly packed in boxes, markings of _Achtung_! and _Gochuui_! all over them.

A buzzing in her pocket made Asuka realize she was receiving a call.

_-Ma'am…we're waiting._

"Yeah…Just…go and take a ride a round the block…I'll be down in a couple of minutes."

She kneeled down to Pen-pen, patting him in the head, the warm water penguin looking at her and for a moment she smiled softly, thinking that perhaps the penguin would do something, like run around warking, or stand at the door to stop her from going.

Pen-pen simply titled its head, warked sadly, moving his flipper to say good-bye before he shuffled to his refrigerator room.

For the last time, she looked at her home.

For the last time, she sighed.

Then, she picked her red duffel bag, almost crying as she remembered the first time she had met Shinji in the _over the rainbow_, and how so long ago it felt. She wiped her eyes angrily and grabbed a small brown bag, clutching it against her. Closing her eyes and steadying herself, she looked straight ahead, a resolute look in her face.

And then finally, silently, in a completely opposite way in which she had entered their lives, Asuka Langley Sohryu turned off the lights, and clicked the screen shut, stifling another sigh as she walked past the living area, petting pen-pen , taking all that she could commit to memory, before finally, slowly, walking to the front door, putting on her shoes and opening the door, exiting towards the hall and closing her eyes when she heard the loud hiss and the turn of the locks.

And as she entered the elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor, she began to feel a burning in her eyes when she realized the truth behind it all…

All those small, little meaningless tasks she had done, had been the final ones she would do here.

As she climbed to the door and began her trip to the airport, to the future awaiting her she sighed, and clutched the brown bag against her chest.

One last time.

----- -----

"Draw the curtains…the sun is getting in my eyes."

The driver simply nodded, and moments later a small cloth covered the window, obscuring the sun form the outside.

Silently the limo continued going towards NERV

Shinji stirred awake and looked around, rubbing his eyes and wincing in pain.

"Here drink this."

He took the offered water bottle and painkiller and wordlessly drank, enjoying the fresh feeling the water left in his parched tongue.

"Where are we?"

Rei placed down her book and looked at him impassively. "You were in an inconvenient stage yesterday, and not fit to be by yourself; I took you to my apartment and while inebriated you and I had intercourse."

Shinji spit the water he had been drinking when Rei's words made sense in his brain.

"Wh-wh-what are you talking about Ayanami?" Shinji asked, terrorized, raking his brain for any piece of information, and trying to remember what he had or hadn't done last night. "Are you kidding me? Why are you here Rei?" Shinji asked after a moment when he mulled over her words. "Why am I here with you?"

"The commander instructed me that due to budgetary cutbacks, I should cut back on expenses." Rei said flatly. "Carpooling seemed like a natural choice."

Shinji looked at her, a small smile playing on her lips; slowly the smile began to grow into a small giggle, and then into laughter, before finally both children were laughing at the sheer absurdity of the thought.

"Thank you Rei." Shinji said between the laughter. "I really needed that."

"You are welcome." Rei said as she picked up her book, and began to read again.

"Do you know when Asuka is leaving?" Rei asked quietly, not bothering to turn and look at Shinji, who was looking at the darkened window instead.

He simply nodded.

"Are you sure you don't need to see her?"

"I don't know…Would it change anything? Is it to late to tell her no to go?"

Rei looked at him for a long time, deciding whether he wanted an honest answer or was simply seeking solace.

"I think you need to answer your own questions."

"You think I'm wrong?" He asked after pondering and letting out a sigh.

"Do you wish to be wrong?"

Shinji looked at her, then at his cell phone. "I'll never be able to do it in time anyway."

"You could simply call her."

----- -----

"So are you ready?" Von Schebach asked, his deep rumbling voice bringing Asuka out of her reverie.

"Yes." Asuka said simply, extracting a pair of dark shaded glasses and putting them on.

"Everybody is looking forward for your arrival." Von Scherbach pressed on, not aware or not caring about the obvious discomfort in Asuka's face. "You will be welcomed a hero, Germany's most important daughter. You will become someone all of the young German girls will look up to."

Von Scherbach looked at the silent red head, how her glasses shielded all of her eyes, the silent posture and mouth drew in a tight line.

And decided to go for one final attack

"Your father will be so proud of you…" He began in a soft, velvety tone. "Another Sohryu in such a key position fro NERV-3…Did I ever tell you I knew your father and mother well? Ii as a pity what happened to Kyoko of course and had I kn-"

As he kept babbling about her mother and the choices made and how they reflected on the future, Asuka simply nodded, grinning and bearing it, deciding on sleeping the whole trip back.

Miraculously a soft buzzing sound emerging from her cell phone interrupted Von Scherbach's long and winded speech. Asuka looked at the number curiously and then back at the General.

"It's from-"

_-Asuka? _

Asuka stared at the phone still not believing the number that was flashing on it.

"Y-yes?" Von Scherbach frowned when he saw the way she answered; it would just be his luck if it were that Ikari kid.

_-Are you at the docks? _

Her heart skipped as she heard the question…maybe this was a sign.

"Uh…No…why?"

_-It's a good thing we were able to find you before you arrived there. _

Before Asuka could answer back, Von Scherbach had taken the phone from her, looking at the name flashing on the screen, his eyes shrinking into tiny slits.

"Is something wrong?" he asked in short, clipped tones.

_-Well…Actually… _

As they passed by one of the many tunnels that cut thru the Japanese mountain that served as a natural bastion fro Tokyo-3, Asuka had to press her phone to her ear to hear better before the call got disconnected.

----- -----

Outside, the world had stopped, the road was moving slower and slower with each passing second, and Rei made mental calculations about how long until the exit to the docks came into place.

He was so close.

But with a look of sadness as she saw the interminable expense of car tail lights and honking sounds, she realized they would never make it on time. At the most they might be able to arrive to watch the boat taking off.

"Damn!" Shinji cursed, punching the numbers again. Rei kept looking at him, a slight look of worry and apprehension on her face.

"It's not going thru…" Shinji whispered in anger, hearing once again the dial tone and then the overtly perky voice of a recorded operator telling him the number he had dialed was currently out of service and-

"_Dammit_! ...there's nothing I can do." Shinji sighed sadly as he clicked his phone off. He had been so stupid to think that he would be able to cheat destiny so easily.

"You know how you sound like?" Rei asked after a moment of silence. Shinji lifted his head and saw the coldest look in her eyes he had ever.

"You sound like a man who's desperately trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in."

Shinji kept quiet at that, but clearly her words had a great deal of impact, his hand now tightly clenching the phone he was till holding.

"Well what do you want me to do? She's not answering the phone, I can't get ahold of her, and she's leaving in about 10 minutes!" Shinji began to shout, his voice becoming more agitated, his tone more brash, before throwing the phone in disgust to the other side, flying by Rei who never once batted an eyelash.

"NERV is taking her away from me and I was unable to do anything to stop them, I was too cowardly to do anything at all, I should have told her to stop and stay or something…anything!"

The force that had driven him forth, the anger and fire that had briefly shone in his face and eyes extinguished once the initial rage died, once his breathing became more and more slow.

Once he realized the truth and the bitterness and the reality behind his words. Shinji closed his eyes, his face in his hand, resting on his knees, and tried to think that the dryness in his throat and the itching in his eyes weren't sobs and tears for doing too little too late.

Rei waited for a minute or two before calmly picking the phone. Shinji only heard as the soft noises of the keys being pressed, the electronic _pits_ and _pats_ flowed on the car, before he felt it pressed against his face.

_-Hi! _

The voice at the end of the other line said cheerfully, and Shinji felt his heart break once more.

_-You've reached the voice mail of the great Asuka Langley Sohryu…if you are calling to tell me how much you love me, save it, Baka-Shinji! _

He almost cried at the sound of her voice and the childishly, girly happiness it held.

_-If you're Hikari or Misato, send me a text! _

He almost cried when he remembered this was probably the last time he would hear her.

_-If you are any of the two stooges drop dead! _

Shinji looked at Rei who simply nodded, an encouraging smile on her lips, and did just that.

_-Anyone else, leave me a message and tell me how wonderful I am! _

"Ah…I just…"

Shinji started shakily, letting out a few calming breaths, taking advantage of the silence in the other side of the line before he continued with a bit more resolve.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry…that I know what you were trying to tell me, that I know why you did it all…"

A sob, a chocked gasp and a stuttering breath.

"I…I know you are leaving…that you should get going...but…You can't...You can't leave yet…"

----- -----

"The boat is about to leave..." She heard the General say in a restrained tone. "We have no time for this type of-" He was cut off and his eyes bore Asuka down, almost as if he was blaming her for whatever he was being told.

"Like I said, you can send us all that information to the NERV-3 offices, I'll make sure Pilot Sohryu gets it when we arrive there."

More silence, more beats. More incensed looks thrown at her and Asuka wanted to desperately know what was going on, what was the General being told, why was he looking so close to explod-

"Ikari."

It was one word, whispered with so much contempt and tiredness in Von Scherbach's voice that made Asuka's own spine crawl. His big hands whitened at the pressure inflicted on Asuka's little red phone, and she could swear she heard a faint crack before von Scherbach finally released it and gave a small, victorious smile.

"See that you do…and do not call any more. I'll take care of this personally"

He pushed a button and leaned forward to give Asuka her phone, turning it off in the process. Asuka looked at it, her thumb hovering over the on/off, biting her lip before Von Scherbach let out a frustrated sigh.

"Were you waiting for someone to call you, pilot Sohryu?"

Asuka looked at the phone, and suddenly her vision got a bit blurry, and she grasped the phone softly, her hands on her knees, her face looking at the floor.

"No sir." She said softly.

_Did you expect him to ask you to stay?_ The voice in her head asked, before amending the question and rephrasing it. _Did you wanted him to ask you to stay?_

Asuka said nothing; she had no need.

"It's too bad then…he's probably on his way to the docks to attempt a last ditch effort in making you change your mind." Von Scherbach said. "I have a report of a Limo driving him to the docks, but it appears that it's stuck in traffic."

Asuka never raised her face, and Von Scherbach simply let out a grumble at that. "He is very much like his father, both good and bad."

"I know…"

Asuka's faint voice echoed in the car, as Von Scherbach looked at her curiously, and nodded, allowing her to turn on the phone again, almost like a condemned person waiting for the call that will acquit them from death row.

_It was also something I wanted to see for myself…_

Long after she had been told she was going back, long after she had realized that whatever she had hoped to do to prevent it was not going to be able to stop it, long after she had let the anger and frustration flow away once she had understood there was no way to win, Asuka had made up her mind.

She had decided that, when the moment would come for her to leave, she would have to see something for herself.

She would have to make sure that Shinji Ikari was not coming. That was the only way she would be able to leave, because if he ended up coming, if he ended up being in front of the boat, if he somehow had managed to arrive to the docks on time before she had boarded and was safely tuck away in her cot, crying and sobbing until silent and dreamless sleep could claimed her, she would then wake up and realize she was sailing back to _Das Vaterland_.(3)

But if he showed up, she would get mad.

She would get really mad.

She would probably stare him down and sneer, maybe slap and curse him, asking him at the top of her lungs why was he being such a pigheaded fool, such a stubborn idiot…such a stupid, perverted whinny spineless wimp who was always good at getting under her skin, of rubbing her the wrong way.

Why was he the only one brave or stupid enough to still care and look after her, even after she drove him down, after she ridiculed him, even after all the harsh words she had said, why was he still around, with her.

She would make a show of saying that she hated him, always had, and always will.

Because Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Children, and designated Pilot of Evangelion Unit 02 had no other choice but to act that way.

She had no other option.

Because in all truth…in all honesty, she couldn't face him, she was never able to see him with those big, blue eyes, full of sadness and fear, and melancholy and despair.

She could never do it, she never could. For a simple reason.

In all truth…in all honesty, she really loved him.

The little girl inside of her, the Asuka Langley Sohryu that he loved for being simply Asuka Langley Sohryu and no one else would then want to go with him; to take hold of his hand and never let go just like she did when she felt the pressure and regret and terror of the all to real possibility of loosing him for ever, and seeing him everyday hand in hand with someone else just hurt so much, physically and emotionally that she grabbed his hand and fell into him and never let go ever since.

General Klaus Von Scherbach hated that frail scared, crying child who ended up relying on Shinji, because it served as a reminder of the person who used to be her, and even thought nothing was left save for some few pieces and remnants he felt like inside of this Asuka was the pilot who had been the joy and pride of both NERV-3 and the Langley household.

He couldn't let Asuka be with the one she loved.

And Shinji…Shinji could never bare to let the Asuka he held inside of him slip and fade away...

Those three sides combined were the final pieces left that proved that she existed...

The final wall that had never been torn down was the pride of the Asuka Langley Sohryu that loved Shinji Ikari

"Pilot Sohryu…Let's go..."

----- -----

Shinji Ikari never made it on time.

He had arrived only to see the ship already a distant point in the horizon.

The drive back to the city was silent and awkward, neither Rei, nor Shinji daring to say a word.

Rei leaned forward and tapped lightly on the window pane, waiting for it to roll down to reveal the driver.

"After you drop me off at NERV for a synch test, you can then drive pilot Ikari home."

The driver looked at her thru the mirror before nodding, not saying another word. The brown haired boy still looking at the floor with his hands on his knees and his phone in his grasp.

"Was it worth it?" Shinji asked softly as the limo pulled over at NERV. Rei simply looked at him with a neutral face, before she exited the car.

"Perhaps it would be best if you were to stay here at NERV…I have read that after something like this, humans tend to find solace with their acquaintances and friends…perhaps we can get together with Suzuhara, Horaki and Nagisa…" She spoke the last name softly, a red tinge on her cheeks, while Shinji simply kept looking at the floor.

"Yeah, sure…"

So without really caring, simply letting himself be carried thru the motions of it all, Shinji allowed Rei to grab his hand and dragged him to the lounge.

----- -----

Shinji stared aimlessly at the wall, wondering how long it would be until Rei finished the synch exercise and they could leave…he had tried walking around the endless corridors, but ended up at Misato's office door, and then at Kaji's, and despite how much he wanted to barge in and talk to them, to at least let the pulsating bile inside him festering see the light and let it wash away from him, he knew better.

Kaji and Misato were right now on a cruise on their way to their honey moon; someplace warm and tropical, where they would serve little fruity drinks in coconuts and pineapples with little straw umbrellas, where Misato would turns some heads prancing around in one of those revealing bikinis of her while Kaji would simply smile at her, holding her hand and staring into her eyes.

And now Shinji was getting depressed…

He walked around the lockers, and he could still hear Asuka's voice, and he could still smell her body wash and shampoo; sweet smelling, something that smelled and felt delicate for a girl who outside was a warrior born and bred.

He decided staying in the locker with memories of her wasn't going to help him, so he turned away again.

Finally, getting sick of staring at the same window overlooking the Geofront, Shinji began to walk away and reached one of the elevators. Without thinking about it, he got in and decided to ride it to wherever it may go, stopping immediately on the floor underneath.

A couple of techs got in, no names who were bustling around, sweat lining their forehead as f they had either just jogged all the way from one end of the floor to the other, or had been chewed off by someone.

Shinji decided to not pay attention, focusing instead on the soft clicking mundane sound of the elevator signaling the floor they were headed for.

----- -----

"Do I really have to do this?" Asuka asked herself softly in a petulant way as she looked at the small enclosed space.

"Pilot Sohryu, we're ready."

Silently Asuka nodded and got in, the metal door clicking shut.

----- -----

Shinji stepped out of the elevator with the techs, and wandered around the outer stations of the cages; the entrance to the personnel elevator for the Pribnow box was a few meters down the cages, and to his other side was the entrance…he knew Rei would be currently inside doing the synch test and decided to simply walk around, letting his steps take him back to the elevator.

A simple ding made it stop again on the floor just below, and Shinji sighed, not lifting his head to see who it was.

A pair of black shoes came into view, standing in front of his sight, almost expecting something.

Shinji stepped back to allow more space, slumping against a wall, noting the figure turned around and faced the door.

"You should have fought for what you wanted."

Shinji blinked and looked up, noticing his father was staring at a PDA like object in his hands.

"I know."

"Where you at least able to tell her goodbye?"

Shinji shook his head silently.

"Would you do it if you had another chance?"

"Yes."

Gendo turned around, mildly surprised; he hadn't even finished asking the question when Shinji had instantly answered, and though he had never looked up, he could sense the steely resolve in his voice.

Behind his glasses, his eyebrow arched and he smiled a secret smile at that.

Maybe the boy was not a weak-willed namby-pamby as he thought.

He had to make sure, though.

"And what would you say?"

Shinji thought long and hard at this, before choosing the simplest answer he had.

"I would tell her not to go away."

----- -----

She thought about the irony of it all, about the situations faced, and how they always seemed to escalate; how it seemed to be always games they seemed to play never saying openly all that they felt.

She chuckled bitterly how someone with all of her education could never find the words to say, how insults always seemed to be that the only things she knew how to say, how the only feelings she could show were the ones that were wrong.

How it always seemed like the only constant in their relationship, form start to bitter end were games, changes and fears; how most of the times it felt like they were pushing her down, keeping her back and making her stop.

How she had choked whenever she wanted to say goodbye, how she felt like she would stumble and fall when she had to walk away from him last night.

How it became the more apparent, all the more clear that, whenever he wasn't with her, her whole world seemed to crumble and fade away.

"Pilot. We are ready to leave."

Asuka sighed and nodded, and heard the metallic click once again, seeing the light as the entry plug opened. She stepped down and saw Rei getting out of her own entry plug, walking her way.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes." Asuka said softly. "We only stopped to check unit 02 on the boat. The General and I were originally going to leave with it, but this thing-"

"Losing all the synch data from the past 6 months and not having a backup was a regrettable mistake from the engineering department. I am sure Commander Ikari had acted accordingly."

"Oh..." Asuka said softly. "So it was the Commander the one who called General Von Scherbach to let him know?"

"That is correct, it was a good thing too." Rei answered as both made their way towards the locker rooms. "I was already on my way somewhere else and would have been unable to come here to act as the control cross syncrhonization graph procedure."

"Yeah…I guess…" Asuka said as she walked to grab her duffel bag with her clothes. "I'm just glad I'm able to at least take a shower, I would hate to make the flight to Germany smelling of LCL."

She quipped, but her voice broke at the last part and Rei felt as the volatile girl, the fierce fighter leaned against her, placing her head on her shoulder…

And cried.

"Tell Shinji I'll miss him."

Rei simply patted her back standing in front of the elevator door and waiting for the car to arrive.

----- -----

"Why are we stopping here?"

"I have something to do here." the Commander said dryly.

"Oh…"

Gendo turned to Shinji and clasped his shoulders with his gloved hands, making the brown haired boy look up to him, startled at the sudden, unfamiliar contact. Gendo paused for a second, and his mouth opened, without emitting a sound, almost as if he wanted to say something but was unsure of what.

And then, without saying another word, Gendo simply pushed the boy out of the car. Shinji turned around, looking at his father's smirking face as the doors of the elevator closed.

The smirk never left his face.

Shinji got up and dusted himself off, patting his knees and legs.

"Jerk." he muttered before turning around...

And coming face to face with Asuka Langley Sohryu.

"Shinji…"

Rei slid quietly away from the wide eyed Asuka.

"Asuka…"

And walked down the hall, passing a still on the floor Shinji, entering the elevaton and standing next to a still smirking Gendo.

The metal door slowly closed.

The last thing she saw was as Shinji leapt form the floor towards her and lifted Asuka from the floor in a warm embrace, while Asuka held onto his neck, almost as if she wanted to be tattooed onto him forever.

----- -----

As both rode the elevator in silence, Gendo turned to Rei, looking down at her with a soft smile on his face. The blue haired girl stood in front of the elevator staring down the crystal panel as Asuka and Shinji kept hanging onto each other for real life.

She suddenly let go and was apparently speaking to him in quick urgent sentences, while Shinji grabbed her upper arms with his hands. It was still apparent they were trying to say goodbye, yet at the same time looking for one last way to stay together.

Every time Shinji's head would move, and thus show he was saying something, Asuka would nod, before shaking her head, empathically answering back, hand in chest, trying to make her point be clearer still.

The choice was hers and only hers.

Suddenly, Shinji's stance went rigid, making Asuka turn around.

Behind her was the imposing figure of General Klaus Von Scherbach, head of the SELEE committee for the UN. He was just standing there, but his frame seemed like it was a compact explosion waiting to happen, like he had a bad case of internal combustion.

He said something, soft and sharp and leaving no space for doubt. Asuka slowly, reluctantly let go of Shinji's hand and walked towards him.

That was the last thing Rei saw before the steel tunnel of the elevator shaft swallowed the car whole.

Both Rei and Gendo were more than used to walking around and riding the elevators of NERV in silence, with only the rhythmic ticking of the floor.

But right now, it seemed heavy and suffocating, claustrophobic and Rei felt the need to ask something just to make this oppressive feeling of pressure go away.

----- -----

"What do you think she'll do, Commander?"

Rei had kept quiet the whole way, never asking a question during the elevator ride, nor when they had exited and she had followed him to the office. She had sat in complete and total silence, the only sound the scribbling of the commander's pen as it scratched against the paper.

Gendo looked at the girl, while he kept reviewing papers, sitting in his desk on his cavernous office. He did, as every other day, the menial task of reviewing reports and signing them, as well as miscellaneous forms and orders, while others were sent back with annotations and questions, demanding an explanation or two.

The commander looked straight ahead; brows were knitted together for but a second, deep in thought, before he finally spoke.

"There is an old saying used by the forefathers of scientists: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost."

"Elric's First Law of Equivalent Exchange. Later adapted to the First Law of Thermodynamics, as well as the principle of the conservation of energy."

Gendo nodded grimly. "There comes a time in each and everyone of us when we must choose our own path, however that choice is a hard one; we must let go of something dear to gain a benefit."

He turned back to his desk, and as he kept talking, the rigid lines in the commander's face began to become slowly become softer, little by little, almost unnoticeable…a small metamorphosis in his face.

"The world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete." Gendo paused, recollecting his thoughts before continuing. "There's an ebb, a flow; a cycle."

Gendo turned to Rei, and she looked up to him like a student would to a mentor, a daughter to a father, expecting his explanation.

"Equivalent Exchange does not encompass everything that happens in life, but I still believe in its principle that all things do come at a price."

Rei nodded at that, satisfied with then answer he had given her, because somehow, it seemed to fit him, it seemed to be this belief what had molded him from Gendo Rokobungi into Gendo Ikari, Supreme Commander of NERV

But still something bothered her.

"Is it worth it?" She asked after a minute or two.

The commander looked at the girl, then at his desk.

Without saying a word, he opened one of the drawers, and looked at the contents.

Inside was a modified picture frame holding four pictures.

The first one was that of the pilots; a candid shot, with Asuka on top of a smiling Shinji and Rei, bringing them together in an awkward group hug.

The second one was of a 2 year old Shinji in the loving embrace of Yui Ikari, looking directly at the camera.

The third one was a black and white surveillance picture depicting the pilots for units 01 and 02 in a clandestine kiss in a small café outside of Tokyo -3.

The last one was an old family picture, similar to the one that had Yui and Shinji, only this time a half smiling- half smirking Gendo, a good deal younger, was looking straight at him, his eyes boring into the commander's own eyes.

He looked at Yui, and as a reflex his finger brushed over the picture, stopping faintly at the face of the woman he loved the most, softly rubbing against the crystal.

He turned to look at the same face, with ice blue hair and blood red eyes staring at him, the very picture of childish innocence and questioning glance.

"The pain we all went through will have a reward and anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something in return, even if it's not what they expected."

And while several feet below a chapter in the life of two pilots was coming to an end, and Rei would like to know what ending it would have, she felt content, and allowed herself the briefest of smiles.

She had done the best she could; she had given something for the chance of something else to become.

When the final signature was placed on the reports, Gendo looked down at Rei, and both smiled faintly at each other.

"I seem to have worked up an appetite, Rei, care to accompany me?" He asked stepping up as Rei did the same, walking around the desk and reaching the door. He held it open allowing the blue haired girl be the first one to exit.

"Yes."

"Excellent." Gendo smiled. "You can then tell me all about this Nagisa fellow over lunch."

He walked past Rei ignoring her startled face and blushing cheeks. As he kept walking, the door began to slowly close by itself, before the office was thrown into darkness, the last light catching the reflection and bouncing off from the Red Queen sitting on his desk.

----- -----

_So don't go away, say what you say…But say that you'll stay, forever and a day _

_In the time of my life, 'cause I need more time…Yes, I need more time, just to make things right…_

----- -----

**AN:**

This is a long one.

**Random Notes.**

(1) While it's never said where NERV-3 lies, it's commonly placed in Berlin. Magi -3 and Magi-5 are located, respectively in Berlin and Hamburg. I choose to place NERV-3 in Bremen, however, since it's a harbor city, which also has several high profile technology development firms, and would be a more logical choice to have Unit 02 be shipped to Japan from there.

(2)"Here's looking at you kid." famous last words by Rick Blaine to Ilsa Lund in " Casablanca".

(3) It has been drawn to my attention a German national refers to their country as Fatherland; I hope the translation was the correct one.

Well, before you all begin to torch me and say things like plagiarism or anything…a couple of things…

This kiss is meant as homage for both Ryoma's "The Best Laid Plans 2" as well as for the first part of Re-Take After. If you feel that the characters are OOC; keep in mind this moves on the story line of BLP2; read it first to understand why a character behaves like he or she does; if you feel the scenes or dialogue are reminiscent or a direct rip from Re-Take…well…that's why it's a homage.

Also, the ending is open ended for you to decide; I don't know if Asuka'll leave in BLP2, or how or what would Shinji do to convince her to stay…this is simply a spin-off of what would happen if she was forced to leave and Shinji never got around to actually asking her to stay.

I know some of you are asking "Well, did she stay?"...well, the last question is a tough one to answer, and I sincerely believe there is only one way for them to be together under this scenario, I've tried hinting at it all throughout the story; Asuka is being forced to choose between her present as an Eva pilot, and a future with Shinji, staying in Eva means saying goodbye to someone she loves, but staying with Shinji means saying good-bye to Mama.

It is a tough call.

I therefore leave it to your imagination what she would choose, because no matter what ending I could come up with, it felt too contrived, and too fake, and like I was cheating the character out.

This was one of those stories I've always wanted to do, but sincerely was afraid it would suck; not only because it's based heavily on a personal favorite like BLP2 and Re-Take, but it's also one of those that no matter how hard you try to polish it, it's just not as perfect as the original ones.

**Disclaimers**:

Several lines are, quite obviously, not mine; therefore credit goes to Gainax over all and Studio Kimigabuchi, as well as Nergal Fan Fiction LLC, a division of Nergal Heavy Industries, Warner Brother and the movie "Casablanca" for Kaji's parting words in German, and Square Enix/Studio Bones for "Elric's first law of equivalent exchange", an obvious plug of Full Metal Alchemist, and Anonymous Spore for the translation of the Re-Take series.

Thanks must immediately go to all those involved in this story:

Himonky: without whose assistance I would be still treading through mud to get to a decent story.

Fresh C: whose cynicism made me realize I really had to take this on a different way, even when he told me "Silly author…this is where Re-Take would say this and this"

JW, my own Sage…I can't begin to thank you for your assistance, especially with the reason for Asuka to go back part…you're right; she's no Heidi.

Ryoma: for allowing a crappy author like me to take a decent story and turn it into crap (ever heard of the Midas touch? This is the exact opposite)

Hououza: For being a rockin' mate, whose opinion and friendship will always be looked upon, even if you never actually got around it, the simple matter was that you accepted my pestering to pre-read means a lot for me.

Last but certainly not least to any and all who took the time to read it, regardless of if you liked it or not, just the fact that you decided to grant me a hit is thanks enough; if you want to do a full favor and want to grant me a Review as well, go ahead.

Once again, thanks.


	10. Kiss 14, Way 05

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: **K# 14 (Radio-cassette player), W#05 (Books)

**Title: **The End of an Eros.

**A.N.: **I shall use this space to cover my own ass: If you somehow recognize anything here, they're not mine. I'm attempting to get out of this writers block, so I'm gonna take 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story. Hope you like. I'll update with another one sh— wait… I've said that for ten straight times with this.

Well, you know the drill.

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other.**_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

**----- -----**

It was in the quiet of the night that Shinji began his little ritual.

He got up from his bed, which was nothing more than a glorified futon on the floor, and went towards the door that lead up to the attic. The wood creaked softly as he opened the door, and the sweet smell of scented burnt wax assaulted his senses.

He threaded softly through the "room", nearing the opened window that overlooked the city to his right, before he looked across to her office and smiled, remembering that the time was coming and that soon he would have to go for his last mandatory sessions.

But tonight he felt that familiar tingle he always felt just when it was about to happen; it had been close to a month, and he was still unsure any of them had been accepted. The night was calm, not a single gust of wind was blowing which signified he had to begin.

Now was the moment he always feared.

He had to see.

He had to know if they had been accepted.

A faint light illuminated the small altar he had and across and below, above and on the sides, a multitude of small candles laid and most of them, save for two, had long been snuffed as the wax pooling to varying degrees on the tables and counters where they were could attest.

He disrobed, the pale moonlight seeping in, the silvery white bouncing off from his hair as he picked up and held two bottles of liquid high against the pale light before he began mixing them in a small shallow bowl. He placed the offering of wine and sake mixed with other things down, dipping his finger in the mixture, drawing thin lines with his fingers across his cheeks and forehead.

The liquid began to slowly roll down his skin, feeling like blood seeping from a cut, thick and viscous and coagulated before he began to utter a quick prayer, the same prayer he had recited ninety-seven other times, eyes closed and lips moving silently against the night. He kept repeating the lines over and over: a soft plea, a silent shout, an emotionless scream echoing without sound against the vastness of the night.

He opened his eyes and saw one of the candles flicker, before it was snuffed.

He got up and walked back to his room, kneeling next to where his things lay strewn around on the floor, pawning in the darkness for his wallet, and when he found it, he closed his eyes, anticipation bottling in his throat before he took out a small, worn out but carefully folded patch of paper.

With trembling fingers he began to unfold it, and then, right before his eyes, the number "98" written on it began to shimmer, to shift and become absorbed before it began to reform in the middle, becoming a "99" only his eyes could see.

It was only then that a smile appeared in his lips.

Ninety-nine.

Just one more before_Hyaku_…

_Hyaku_…

He repeated the word several times, rolling it in his tongue, feeling the way the back of his throat stuck to the roof of his mouth to make the first syllable, while his breath stuck to his teeth to say the last part

One more… just one more and he would be free, free of this mortal coil, free of this world.

Just one more before he could collect his prize.

----- -----

"So, now you'll die."

She stared down the barrel of the gun, trying not to show any fear.

It wasn't working.

The gunshot never sounded like a _bang_; it never sounded like any of the onomatopoeias she had read anywhere. It sounded deafening, like a loud thunder clap; expanding relentlessly within the confines of Kaname's ears and head, echoing against her body and she clutched her chest, so sure of feeling the numbness and the pain associated with getting hit by a bullet there, before she opened her eyes and saw Sousuke in front of her.

And Leonard falling against the ground.

"S—" She began to whisper, before she noticed it.

He was falling as well.

Slowly he was falling and she suddenly realized what it was that people meant by when they said "legs wouldn't hold anymore."

He simply slumped against the wall, feeling as his knees buckled underneath his weight, sinking into the floor ever so slowly, as a dark streak was left against the bricks of the wall.

It was raining.

Actually, it was pouring. It was almost as if the sky themselves were crying their heart out. Wave after wave of rain, drenching them both, making their clothes stick to their body and intermixing with the tears in her eyes.

Through his hazy vision, he saw as she ran towards him, still dressed in her high school uniform, not caring if the whiteness of her shirt got smeared by his—

"You idiot, what do you think you're doing?"

He turned to look at her, and he wondered again how someone so small could look so imposing with her hands on her hips, and looking at him with so much anger.

And he never feared for his life.

"I-it's not like th—"

"Shut up." She said softly, but with enough command to make the body guard instantly close his mouth.

He tried to say something, but instead, his body was wrecked by his coughing, making him spit out blood from his mouth, mixing with the immaculate white shirt he was wearing, also wet with the water form the rain and the blood oozing from his chest.

"You are an idiot."

He looked at her with one eye half closed, still slumped against the wall. The harshness in her voice, the hardness in her chocolate colored eyes melted away as tears began to well, though he could be mistaken since it was raining and he was feeling like he was slipping into unconsciousness with every passing moment he was here.

"Why did you have to do it? Why?"

"You shouldn't have done that… you shouldn't—" Kaname kept saying as her small, lithe body began breaking into tiny sobs.

Sousuke simply grabbed onto her hand, pressing his calloused fingers against her soft delicate ones, making her look at him through the tears in her eyes.

"I told you," He said roughly under his breath, forcing her to look into his dull grey eyes. "I would protect you… always."

Around them, red light began to flash as the police and the EMT's began to swarm on the area, as orders and counter orders were shouted in indistinct fashion, making the whole scene feel like a pandemonium, but in the midst of it all, in the center of it all, she could only see his dull grey eyes, could only feel his calloused hands against her own soft fingers, could only hear his ragged voice; small and hushed and whispered against her.

"You know that, correct?"

She didn't have to look back at him, instead, she simply smiled.

"I know, and I'll wait for you." Kaname whispered back.

"For years?"

"Even hundreds of years…"

Anything more they could have said, was cut short as with quick efficiency the paramedics came and began to try and keep him alive, while they covered her with a soft blanket to give her shivering form some warmth. With practiced ease, they strapped Sousuke to the stretch bed, while they began to shout for 10 cc of this, and 4 pints of that.

It all became a distant drone as she kept his eyes within hers.

And as the ambulance rode away, anyone watching would have seen how she never released his hand.

"And Cut!"

Everyone turned to looked at the director who had a self-satisfying smile in his face before he uttered the words everyone had been waiting to hear.

"Print." Junpei Manaka said as everyone around him cheered, signaling the end of the filming. Immediately news reporters covering this story began to swarm around the writer/producer and the director.

"Miss Tojo, how does it feel to be able to end the filming of the latest saga of the Full Metal Panic franchise, _FMP: Continuing on my own (With or without you)_?"

"Is it true that stars Kaname Chidori and Sousuke Sagara are engaged?"

"Is this a case of life imitates art?"

All around questions were shouted, while those who were asked did their best to answer without the aid of their publicist.

And behind the barricade and lines of police and rented security, Asuka Langley Sohryu and Shinji Ikari looked at it all with mixed faces.

"Finally they're done." The redhead said after a brief moment before they began to walk towards the building adjacent to the on location set.

"C'mon Asuka." Shinji was smiling at the image of Kaname and Sousuke walking away from the prongs of reporter still hand in hand, as if they had never heard the word "_cut_" from the director. "It wasn't that bad."

"Please." Asuka grumbled as she took a sip from her coffee cup to guard herself against the freezing cold, more biting thanks to the rain that had began to fall suddenly. "You were having the time of your life and looking forward for all the movie crew to go to the bar."

"W-well not re—"

"C'mon admit it; big tips, cute girls, bigger tips…" Asuka said as she turned to Shinji and frowned noticing he was once again simply wearing a coat but no scarf or something to cover his head.

"I've told you going out like that is just asking to get pneumonia." Asuka said as she took her own scarf and tied it around Shinji's throat. "Drink up."

Shinji kept quiet but drank from his own coffee. "Thank for the coffee."

"Don't mention it, like I said, it's just to celebrate this damn movie is finally over, now I can continue working in peace."

"Well, I'm sure gonna miss all this."

"C'mon." Asuka said as she began to walk towards the building where the filming crew was beginning to wrap everything up. "Who would miss all the people simply standing here, snooping around and hoping to get an autograph to sell over at e-bay or something?"

Shinji smiled a small smile behind her, finally aware of how she reacted, of how important it was for Asuka to show inner strength and live up to the standards over anything else.

"Sometimes I don't know if you're incredibly cynic or just simply jaded." Shinji said as he followed Asuka through the mass of people.

Asuka simply shrugged at it. "People like to live in a dream world, but some of us actually understand the concept of real life."

Shinji caught the jive and smiled good naturedly at the redhead.

"C'mon, you say it like it's a bad thing… besides, it's not like all I do is stare at those two…" Shinji continued quietly. "Although I did bring them together, you know."

Asuka frowned when Shinji said that, and quickly turned around to face him.

"Shinji, we need to get this straight." Shinji stopped when he registered the tone of her voice, and noticed how she lost all previous warmth and replaced it with the could countenance that mean the doctor was, very much, in.

"I thought we had made enough progress about this." Asuka said as she took a deep breath before motioning towards Shinji. "Shinji, you need to understand and accept the fact that you are not Cupid."

Shinji sighed at that; it had become something of a recurring theme; he would get the couples together, unlikely couples, or two people everyone else could see miles away belonged together.

And every time Asuka would pick at his ways and method, and every time they would always end up like this.

"Explain to me then how all of these…" Shinji paused, fumbling for a mundane word to use. "These situations… these things always happen when I'm around?"

"Shinji." It had always amazed Shinji how Asuka's tone had _no_ _nonsense_ written all over it and how she was able to pull all of it on his name alone: It was hard, and direct and unyielding. It gave no quarter and offered no respite and it almost, almost made it seem as if any minute now she would call him an idiot.

"We've been though this for a long time; you're not cupid, you just happen to have an inordinate amount of luck.."

"Luck about what?"

Asuka sighed.

"Look, Shinji; we've been over this already."

"Yes. And I would have thought after seeing m—" Shinji began, looking down.

"That's the thing Shinji, I don't think you understand."

Shinji stopped talking and looked to see Asuka pinching the bridge of her nose. "You know, from time to time, I forget that you're a mental patient. Then you do something that brings it all back into focus."

"I know, and I am so close and then we will both be free of each other." Shinji said pleasantly, even if the smile did not reach his eyes. "Then you can go your own way and I can go my own wa—"

"You're not listening, Shinji." Asuka interrupted him, making him close his mouth. "Look, I can't do this, not anymore… your observation period ended with the last session. I have your review pending, and I have to submit my report today before 6:00 P.M."

"So what's the problem then?" Shinji asked cautiously.

"The problem is every time I think we are making progress you pull this crap." Asuka said firmly. "The problem is every time I think I have made a breakthrough with you, you fall back again!"

Shinji looked at her before she pushed him to the wall, pressing his shoulders with her hands to prevent him form escaping.

"The problem is I don't know if you're crazy, or just some con artist! The problem is you seem lucid enough before you start saying you are the God of Love!" He stared at her with wide eyes. Never before had he seen Asuka so angry, so hurt, so tired of it.

"The problem is that I have to make a choice, and I have to decide if I should tell the board if you're cured, or if you should be institutionalized…" She said as she turned, showing him her back, her voice once again becoming nothing more than a lulling hush.

"The problem is that right now, I'm leaning towards the last one… and it's a problem for me because I—" She trailed off, not knowing how to finish her line of thought.

Shinji stood there dumbfounded, he opened his mouth on reflex, before he frowned, deciding not to say another word. Shinji simply turned around and exited Asuka's office, not caring to hear the redhead's next words, as Asuka sighed again, still with her back to him.

"You know what, fine. Fine. Fine!" Asuka said as she got up. "You want to ignore the fact that you have been charged to my care? Fine!"

"You want the courts to find out and re-institutionalize you? Fine!" She continued, screaming after him as he kept on walking. "If you want to sit in a padded room and watch the world series on an imaginary TV, then really, why should I care? Huh?!"

The sound of her door closing made he turn around, and Asuka simply let out a tired breath as she saw Shinji leave through the glass door, before she turned, looking at the folder on her desk with Shinji's name on it.

"Idiot."

Preparing herself for a long night, she took out her notes and extracted a small cassette player form her desk, placing it next to her books, she introduced an audio cassette inside of it and pressed "play".

_ click _

_This medical journal will entail the progression of the patient assigned to me by court order mandate No. SH-002; this will also serve as my own recommendation for the review board in how to better treat the patient._

_A preliminary report of the patient has yield the fact that the main reason of affliction seems to be social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia._

_It is a well known fact that a diagnosis of this type within psychiatry and other mental health professions refers to excessive long-lasting social anxiety causing relatively extreme distress and impaired ability to function in at least some areas of daily life. The diagnosis can be of a specific disorder (when only some particular situations are feared) or a generalized disorder. _

_Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny by others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable, considerable difficulty can be encountered overcoming it. _

_The interesting aspect about this case happens to be that the subject has been categorized by Dr. Akagi as being "Love-shy", in accordance to Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin's book and how he describes a specific type of severe chronic shyness. _

_According to his definition, published in Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatments (1987), love-shy people find it difficult to be assertive in informal situations involving potential romantic or sexual partners; under the same tenure, some can express this feeling of inadequacy by overcompensate this feeling of non-assertiveness by being overtly aggressive._

_Dr. Gilmartin researched this phenomenon exclusively, concluding that—_

_ click _

A low humming followed by a buzzing sound made Asuka stop the recording, looking down at her mobile phone vibrating with life as the screen lit up in color, making the small red little thing seem more lively.

Staring at the screen, Asuka sighed when she saw who was calling, and after a minute or two of hesitation, she answered the phone curtly.

"Yes, Dr."

"_Asuka, how are you?"_

Asuka sighed, noticing that she was making small talk, and for her to do so was always a sing of something bad, so she decided to cut to the chase.

"I'm actually finishing my report on my patient for the oversight committee, ma'am."

"_How good and efficient, just like your mother."_ Asuka could almost hear the smirk on the other side of the line playing over her lips. _"We will be expecting your report today at 5 sharp. Be prompt."_

Asuka was just taking the phone form her ear when she heard her last words.

"_I'm proud of you, Asuka."_

Asuka stared at the screen where the name blinked in and out of existence, signaling the call had been terminated. She held the phone for another moment before clicking the recorder back to life, taking a look at her notes, frowning as her eyes landed on the clock next to her.

2.34 P.M.

Sighing, she turned to the notes in front of her, wondering again how it had all come to this.

----- -----

"I'm telling you, I'm the God of love…"

Kaji simply smirked down at Shinji, noticing how he was much closer to falling from the stool he was sitting than to making any sense.

"Sure you are kid… thanks to you, me and Misato got past our differences and managed to start again." Kaji said as he handed Shinji another crate to be put on the freezer.

"That's because you were nothing more than a horny man-whore."

Kaji and Shinji turned to look at Misato who had finished signing for the rest of the stock before tearing into a new _Y'bisu_ pack ad taking out one of the beers to sample it.

"Hey! Don't do that!" Kaji said from behind the counter. "We still need to do a final count for tonight's pa—"

The unmistakable sound of the pressured contents of the beer bottle being released and drank made him stop in mid sentence as he saw Misato take one long gulp, before he shook his head, shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

"Hm… nice light taste with a hint of orange on it…" Misato said thoughtfully before taking one of the tall beer glasses Kaji had been wiping and pouring the rest of the beer there.

"Now I know they're trying to market it to the young and hip crowd."

"That means you'll drink it?" Kaji said as he walked behind her to inspect the rest of the beers and beverages.

"No way… I'm a one beer kind of gal." Misato made a face. "Besides it's too light for my taste." She walked back to the bar and sat in a fluid motion that made her seem even younger than her real age, something that was a well guarded secret along with her weight and three sizes.

"So, what's on your mind kid? You look even downer than usual."

Shinji was about to tell her when Kaji interrupted.

"The kid's going on about how he got those two movie stars together and no one is giving him credit."

"N-no, I mean… it's not li—"

"Aww c'mon Shinji." Misato said teasingly. "Everyone here knows we have our own little cupid; too bad you didn't want to use that cupid idea for last Valentine's."

"Or in Halloween, or in White day, or in Tanabata… I think Misato simply wants to see you semi nude and running around showing your cra—"

Kaji's remark was silenced by Misato throwing him a wet wash towel to his face.

"Sh-shut up, you! Those were simply sales strategies!"

"Yeah, yeah… same like putting on that tiger striped bikini and trying to make this a cosplay bar."

"Well, it was better than that idea of making Wednesdays "Casino" nights and you dressing up as James Bo—"

"Well it was better than you…"

Shinji sighed, as he watched the on-again/off-again couple begin their usual bantering routine, before letting a small smile play on his lips.

He had brought them both together… that much was true. It had been tricky given Misato's thoughts on Kaji sleeping around, but anyone could see that Misato really did care and love the man, even if she sometimes cover up those feelings with rudeness or name calling.

And as always, once the discussion was starting to get heated, Kaji would then silence Misato the only way he knew was a sure-fire way to do it.

Shinji smiled as he saw how, once they were done, and Kaji would continue taking stock for tonight's party, Misato would look at him and smile a soft, small smile, before turning away, sticking her tongue out at him or Kaji whenever they caught her.

Yeah, it did bring a smile to his face.

But also a pang of… something.

Somehow, every smile and every giggle seemed…

Kaji and Misato blinked from their bantering-evolved-into-necking session when Shinji simply picked up his jacket and made his way to the door.

"Hey, Shinji, where the hell are you going?" Misato asked to his back. "We're having last minute preparations here for the wrap up pa—"

"I'll be back in a while, just need to think."

And just like that, for the second time today, Shinji walked way, and when he heard the latch of the door licking shut, he somehow felt like a part of his life was being closed as well.

----- -----

"Dr. Sohryu."

Asuka looked up from her feet, staring at the attendant. The girl simply motioned to the great oak doors.

"They're waiting for you."

Slowly, Asuka rose, checked her dress and coat, picked up her briefcase, and walked towards the door.

----- -----

Shinji was used to walking aimlessly.

He had done it or at least it felt like he had done that so long ago. Sometimes it felt like he had been here before, but every now and then it felt like he was nothing but a scared little boy wandering without a reason through the city; he could really remember the first time he had done so, how he had ended in a corner somewhere, but this time it was different.

Now it felt different somehow.

He reached the park and simply sat down, and proceeded to simply… be there, sitting in the bench, witnessing as people walked by, watching as they went around on their normal, every day life, and thinking…

Had he become so used to being them, had he really lost track of who he was?

He got up, suddenly feeling sick, ready to begin pacing or to simply walk away again, but as he took some steps, he felt that feeling again in the pit of his stomach before he sat down again.

If he had to be honest with himself, he was tired, tired of all this, tired of people not believing him, tired of her always saying that his job was nothing more than a simple coincidence.

So what if he had no bow and arrow, and not much of a personality?

He was who he was, and that was the simple truth.

But…

Every time he stopped, he could see them, he could feel them, smell them all; it had been hard at first, understanding why he had been cast away, understanding that it had been his pride, his hubris what had been his down fall in the beginning.

"One hundred couples" had been something burned into his mind when he woke up that time, like a goal or something with structure and purpose for him to attain.

And yet…

He remembered how he had been standing in the same corner, hounding the pedestrians with the promise of getting them a chance at true love, and how the shout men from the local soap houses and cosplay cafes had began to shout at him to leave, how even while he had tried to explain why he was doing what he had been doing, one of them came at him and in the scuffle that broke afterwards, how that person had ended with a broken nose and a concussion.

He remembered how the police officers nearby had arrested him. Making him march to the local station and the crazy look they gave him when they asked him to state his full name please.

He remembered how she…

Shinji frowned.

It had taken him weeks to finally convince her that he wasn't crazy.

Well, ok, so maybe he had to lie a bit and play the game to be let out, but it was the only way out if he wanted to complete his mission, and he wasn't going to be able to do it while inside a hospital forced to wear a bathrobe all day.

"She's right you know? You really do whine a lot."

Shinji blinked wearily, the voice ringing in his ears as pleasantly as the sound of a nearby river would sound to a thirsty man. When he focused his eyes, he saw her next to him; her presence and warm smile seemed to make her skin glow against the setting sun.

"Mother?"

"How are you?" She answered simply, before she sat next to him, without waiting for an invitation, the folds of her long coat brushing against the cobblestones of the park.

"He's doing fine, obviously."

Shinji turned around and looked in front of him, before his face turned into a frown.

Standing in front of him, cut against the yellow-orange light of the dying day was a man of imposing height, looking down at him; his face was obscured by the blinding light, but Shinji instantly felt his name within the confines of his mind.

"Father."

"Indeed." He said simply staring down at him.

"What do you want?"

He simply smirked, a cruel grimace that in him seemed like a rictus on his face.

"We simply came to see you, see how your mission is coming." His mother said instantly, appeasing Shinji, while simultaneously shooting his father a glare, making the older man look away before walking a few steps away, giving them a bit of privacy.

"You have to forgive him, you know how he is."

Shinji simple let out a huff before he turned around.

"I…"

"We've been watching you from afar." She continued, modulating her voice to a soothing calm tone, as she placed her hand on his arm, and gave him a look full of love and warmth.

"I have told your father several times to allow you the use of your powers when you were obviously struggling."

"Why?"

"Well…" She stopped for a bit, looking away as if she were thinking of the best way to explain before smiling wistfully while brushing a strand of chestnut colored hair. "Mothers are like that… We're ready to come forth and cast a loving embrace and protective hand to guard our children from any harm."

Shinji simply stared at her from the corner of his eyes, not saying a word.

"And what did father say."

"You know your father." She simply shrugged, turning to look at the aforementioned father, who was trying hard not to make it look like he was hanging on to her every word, the devotion from him towards her as palpable and obvious it sometimes seemed to Shinji like there was some sort of thread connecting them both undeniably in every way, in every aspect, like the duality of the sun and the moon, of male and female, of heaven and earth.

"He believes a child's worth should be proved by their own self… that way, any kind of prize they get or ask for will be justly awarded to them and them alone…"

"Is that why you came here?" Shinji asked quietly, his voice no higher than a whisper. "To try and justify what you did?"

"No. We came here to see you." His mother said simply. "I came to let you know I will be expecting you back soon."

She cupped his face with both hands, and drew his eyes into her own, blue reflecting against blue, like a mirror image down to the same delicate features on their faces.

"You have done a fine job so far." She continued, looking at all the couples walking by. clearly enjoying the multitude of people there, all with their own thoughts, ideas, feelings; all individuals, but strangely connected.

"It has always marveled me how this could be, how such a feeling can… become."

The faces of the young couples were open, all showing their feelings for the night; but it wasn't only the couples; there were several men and women alone, and the owners of the small cafes and restaurants were beginning to put out the tables on the sidewalks, waiting anxiously for the young couples and lovers to come and have something to eat.

"You see how they all interact?" She questioned in a cheerful manner. "This is the magic behind it all, the reason for us being here. It's not only a spur of the moment thing, but something for which we lay the foundations."

She motioned towards a young couple sharing a cup of coffee, and already Shinji could see a thin red shimmering tendril emanating from them both growing redder, firmer, stronger.

"They've known each other since grade school." She began simply, closing her eyes, humming a mellow tune, almost as if she was harmonizing her words with their thoughts.

"She has been the one always pushing him to do better, and although he might be a bit of a dumb insensitive person, he really has a warm gentle heart." She turned to Shinji, her eyes sparkling as she spoke.

"Do you think they are meant to be?"

Shinji spared them a glance. The girl was now talking about something, her freckled cheeks flushed with excitement, while the tall boy was simply staring at her in awe, his slouched posture as casual as his ensemble of track suit and running shoes, almost as if he had just gotten out of the gym and rushed to be with her, the southern wind flowing behind him.

But Shinji could see it in his eyes; that look of utter adoration, how he was hanging from every word she was saying almost as if his very soul was being feed by the sound of his voice.

"Yes. It's obvious he's in love with her, and she is also with him."

She smiled at Shinji and nodded. "You are so close, Eros… You are so close to proving us that you still exist here. Don't lose faith, don't despair, believe in you as others believe in you."

She rose then, bending her waist to still keep Shinji's eyes on herself, before she leaned forward and kissed his forehead softly, delicately.

"You felt so sure of yourself and your craft, that you needed to be taught a lesson, boy." His father's voice boomed, making Shinji realize he was standing next to him, still staring out at the horizon, into the ever encompassing night.

"One hundred couples without the use of your bow and arrows, without the use of your charisma and beauty. A challenge fit for the God of love."

Shinji looked at his father with awe; the light turning into darkness, the day becoming dusk, clearly outlining his tall form, the short beard and hair, the glasses obscuring his eyes, giving off the glare of the fire that raged within him, fire that could be destructive, that could be war, that could forge arms and arrows as well as treasures and jewels.

He stared until he could no longer stare, and then looked down at his feet.

"You are close to completing this challenge on my terms, boy. Finish it, and then return to your mother's side."

"It's not much of a challenge now." Shinji said simply. "I only need one more."

"You never learn, do you?" He said as he turned to Shinji, blinding him with the light coming form his glasses. "The reason you were sent here is because of your pride."

"Pride… you always say that." Shinji said in a low voice. "What do you mean pride? I've jumped through hoops to be able to get here… I've done what you wanted so fa—"

"And you still haven't learned the point of this." His reply was so swift and cutting, almost like a battle forged sword cutting at tender young flesh.

"I've learned that I am good at what I do!" Shinji said fiercely, clutching the arm rest of the bench until his knuckles grew white.

"I've learned that you can take my arrow and bow, my personality and charisma, but I'd still be able to pull it off!"

"Really? So confident in just one more couple? So you finally remember why you started all this?" His tone was… cryptic… like someone talking of a cooking recipe that bequeathed a great mystery and family tradition, or like a scientist of older times guarding a secret to a neophyte who was still too wet behind the ears to understand.

It made Shinji stare at him again, long and hard and trying look through all the haze in his mind, only to find it impossible and for him to once again look to his feet, subdued.

"I've done it so far... besides, I could probably do it in one night, if I wanted to."

"Very well, I accept that." And with that, His father turned around, the wind billowing against his cat, making it look almost like a black cape with red undertones on it.

"Part of your punishment here on Earth was to find out about mortality, and to remember why you embarked on trying to mend one hundred broken hearts."

He stopped mid stride, turning around, eyeless eyes glaring at him, mouth shrouded by the shadows of his own face. "Remember… mortals die. You have until tonight. Fail, and you will never leave. You will become a mortal, and you will die."

The words died in an echo in his ears, making Shinji open his eyes, noticing he had been asleep the whole time on the bench.

He got up and decided to quiet the voices raging within.

He had to make them believe in him, again… and there was only one way to do it.

But as Shinji walked back to the bar, a thought occurred to him: if he wasn't who he thought he was, then… who was he?

----- -----

"He's a delusional man."

The muttering on the small room seemed to rise like a pack of moths, the delicate whapping of their wings similar to the whispered words.

"I know that." Asuka answered back, alone in the room, facing the other woman's back as she poured herself a glass of water.

"Do you…?" She let out a hum, and Asuka simply kept repeating to herself to calm down, calm down, _calm down_. "So you accept the fact that his delusion that he is in fact Cupid, the Roman god of love, remains fixed, and that he was released because according to the reports which you filed, he'd overcome his delusional state?"

Asuka opened her mouth to refute it, when she realized she had nothing to fall back on.

"Asuka, I have the obligation of letting you know that the committee found your case review unsatisfactory." She took a drink and sat in front of her, taking her glasses and brushing her short reddish-brown colored hair.

"I know that bu—"

"All evidence points toward a degenerative schizophrenia. I am telling you this, not as your supervisor, and not as a member of the review committee." She said as she leaned towards Asuka, placing a comforting hand on her arm.

"I'm telling you this as your mother as well." She leaned back, shooting Asuka a long, hard look. "Now as my daughter, I want you to be honest with me."

"Asuka." Kyoko said somberly and with reluctance, waiting. "Are you having an affair with Shinji Ikari?"

"Mom!" Asuka said angrily. "How can you—"

"I know." Kyoko said quickly, cutting her daughter's rant. "But there have been allegations made to the effect that you may be having..." Kyoko paused, thinking for a moment before her professional side took over. "Inappropriate relations with him."

Asuka couldn't believe what she was hearing, she simply stared at her mother's face, feeling as if her professional life was crumbling around her like a castle made out of sand just when the high tide came in.

"Listen, you are a grown up, and I can't tell you what to do." Kyoko said after a beat, letting the graveness of the accusation sink in Asuka's mind. "But if I where you, I wouldn't be talking or seeing a man who is the reason why I am being investigated for improper conduct."

Asuka looked down, looking like a chastised child.

"I wouldn't want to lose my career, and your final review is inconclusive, asking for more time to have him under observation is like admitting you are."

"I will not lose my career over him."

"Good." Kyoko agreed, as she placed the file Asuka had presented on the table, and on top of it, the small cassette player kept the file folder closed. "Because any way you see it right now, with this report, that's exactly what you're doing… you are throwing away your career."

"There is nothing going on between u—"

Kyoko got up and walked next to Asuka, kneeling next to her, cupping her chin and forcing her to look up.

"Asuka, listen…" Kyoko began, and her tone became softer, mellower; like the untouched grass after a soft summer rain, lulling and refreshing, yet feeling like someone had wrapped a warm blanket around her cold shoulders.

"Can you honestly tell me he is getting better? Can you honestly tell me you have seen improvements?"

"What is the alternative then?" Asuka asked angrily. "We're talking about putting him on a drug that will fundamentally change his personality."

She slammed her hands on the glass table. "Do you understand that? It's who he is!"

Kyoko in contrast remained calm, and collected, staring down her daughter with sharp, razor-like eyes. "We're also talking about your reputation. Your career."

Asuka and Kyoko stared at each other for a beat, a moment, a glimpse of time before Kyoko continued in the same cold clinical way she used when dissecting to Shinji that one time ago the reasons why love and romance were dead.

"There is no shame in feeling love, but there is great shame in losing all of what you've worked for, all of what you have gotten so far for a simple romp in the sack."

Asuka glared at Kyoko but said nothing, instead, she simply got up and walked away, leaving behind the file.

Kyoko simply sat down, and sighed.

----- -----

The clock kept ticking away.

Shinji stared at the bottle of alcohol with intensity, sitting in the dining table of his apartment almost as if he was forcing it with his mind to finish itself, or rather, what was left of it.

The whole room was dark, the night already present and the curtains drawn. The only sound in the apartment was the tick-tock of the clock going on and on, making the fleeting seconds turns into decaying minutes, corpses of the moment that had just passed by, that would never come back, that will keep on going on and forth.

Shinji sighed, noticing he was, indeed, quite drunk.

And the clock kept ticking away.

After a moment of contemplation, he extracted a phone from within his clothes and began to punch in the numbers before the phone began to light up with movement and sound and life.

_Ring_.

He raised the bottle to his lips, closing his eyes and taking a deep drink.

_Ring._

He looked blearily at the bottle, leaning back on the chair, holding it up to gauge the color of the liquid against the pale light of the candles.

_Ri—_

"_Yes?"_

Shinji smiled to himself, hearing her voice on the other line. "Hey, Dr. Sohryu,"

"_Who-- Shinji... What do you want?"_ Asuka answered, and even through the distorted voice over the aerial telephone signals, Shinji could feel the tiredness on her voice, and for a moment he felt bad, terrible… he felt filled with remorse for what he was about to say and do.

But just as easily as it came, he forgot about it as well.

"I just thought you should know…"

He stopped, closing his eyes, focusing, concentrating on what he wanted to say, thinking of the words to express the feeling of rage and anger and despair within his very fiber, his very soul.

"_Shinji I re—"_

"I'm planning a breakthrough." Shinji said quickly, interrupting Asuka and pressing his advantage more and more.

"I have found a lovely young lady with whom I feel a deep emotional connection." Shinji said, smiling pleasantly at the bottle of wine in his hand.

"_So… what? Are you calling me to let me know? I th—"_

"No… but I thought this would be something you needed to know. Set your mind at ease on a number of issues." He said as he took another drink from the bottle. "I'm thinking of my good ol' pal Ba—"

"_Shinji… you're not making any sense…"_

"…thinking maybe he was rightfully named the liberator…"

"_What do you me—"_

"I mean that it's time for me to shuffle away form this mortal coil, one way or another…it also means you are today's big winner."

"_Listen, Shinji, I've had a rough day today and I re—"_

"Rough day? Let me tell you about rough days…" Shinji said, chuckling, taking another drink. "I am this close to actually getting a _get out of jail free_ card." Shinji said, as he got up, separating his thumb and forefinger by a mere inch, even if Asuka couldn't see the action.

"I mean, everything was going according to what I have planned so far…" He paused as he heard the rumbling of the rain as it started to fall in the city. "But it's true what they say… _the best laid plans_..."

Shinji too another drink, feeling the familiar warmth of the wine coursing through his veins... waiting and noticing as it permeated, expecting for the cells to give way and cancel out the day.

"So you see… I'm at my rope's end here… every time I tried setting someone up to finally leave, Eris seemed to have a yang for my choices." Shinji said as he scanned the streets below from his window.

"I mean, there was this waitress, cute as a button, looked like a doll, and just as she was walking to a customer I pointed out, she slips and crashes all of the drinks on him." He paused for a moment, taking another drink.

"There was also a couple of kids; one was going on and on about how he liked to build domes in the sand box and he girl would come and stomp on it… and since there wasn't any rules about ages, I figured _schoolyard romance_ so I tried to steer them in the right direction…"

He took another pause, waiting for Asuka to jump at him, to say something.

But, again, only silence.

"So instead, the kid ended up in a fight against the little girl, and their mothers are gonna sue each other for damages."

"_Obviously not a way to start on the path of true love…"_ The irony in Asuka's answer was as physical as the railing of the window Shinji was grasping now.

"Oh, well, then I shouldn't be too worried about it, Miss _Relationship Expert_…" Shinji said in a somber tone. "After all, you and your mother might be right… Cupid has been replaced by cards and chocolates… real love has been replaced by chat rooms and onanism"

He paused to get some air, before continuing, not caring about why Asuka kept quiet. "So, a full three hours of personal bliss, freeing one from one's normal self, by madness, ecstasy, or wine and I should be cured, right?"

"_I don't know, Shinji. You tell me."_ Asuka said simply, her tone betraying the fact that she really could care less.

"That's right." Shinji nodded, pausing for a second or two. "No more immortality, no more scores, no more true love, no more Cupid." Beneath him, people came and go. Singles becoming couples, then couples becoming groups. Young and old and children all hurrying, scurrying going to restaurants and café's and karaoke bars.

"End of delusion and all thanks to you. So, I thought I should call and say congratulations." He said simply, walking back to the inside of the apartment and taking the phone from his ear, ready to end the call when Asuka's voice made him stop.

"_Shinji… are you home?"_

"Why do you a—" Shinji answered when a knock on the door interrupted him, making his way to it and opening said door to reveal Dr. Asuka Langley Sohryu on the other side, drenched from head to toe and dripping rain water on the hallway and staring at him with an expression of anger on her face as she slowly ended the call.

She hiccupped , brushing the back of her hand over her already reddened eyes, leaning against the frame of the door slowly.

Shinji noticed the smell of alcohol coming from her; her face clothes, small splashes of dark on her pristine white shirt, almost as if she had too much to dri— "Thanks to you I lost my job."

"Wh-what?"

"I lost my job!" Asuka shouted, rushing past a still drunk Shinji. "I was supposed to go there and tell them you were crazy! That you were a danger to society! That you were better off being chemically castrated, having a lobotomy… anything but being left to wander out in the open!"

Shinji simply stared at her as Asuka felt the range and anger slowly leaving her body, her breathing coming out in jagged, shallow pants.

"A-Asuka I didn't kn—"

"Shut it." Asuka simply said as she walked out, toweling her hair. "I was this close of coming and telling you to go to hell, I came to the bar and looked for you. And Misato said you were gone."

Shinji stared dumbly at her. "And you were worried?"

"Of course I was worried you idiot! I'm still in charge of you, even if I have lost my job, I'm still legally in charge of you!" She grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and began to shake him as much as she could.

"Do you have any idea of what is that? Do you even care of something other than your grand plan? I still don't know how I haven't been able to get through with you! A number of people have benefited from my advice, you know." Asuka said, looking almost like a little girl pouting, the only thing missing was her stomping her foot.

"Will I ever be something more than a thesis statement for you?"

"Well, you know what? that's funny, because the thousands of people who read my books and my column think so." Asuka said as she staggered towards Shinji. "The people who pay me to counsel them think so, and you know who else thinks so? The people who put me in charge of saying if you are or aren't crazy."

"So you think I'm crazy?"

"It doesn't matter what I think or don't think…" Asuka answered, turning her back on him. "As of 6.00 p.m. today, I am no longer associated with the Health and Welfare Ministry."

"But then why did you came here?"

"Because until the clock hits midnight today, in about 10 more minutes…" Asuka said simply, shrugging. "I am still legally bound to you. And even if I lost my job, I will not be sent to jail in case you decide to do something stupid and kill yourself. Besides… all this time I've wanted to ask you…"

"Ask me..?"

"Why do you do it?"

"What?"

"This…" She said, gesturing around, yet at nothing at all. "All… this."

"Don't you ever notice it?" Shinji said simply. "Don't you crave the attention?"

"Attention…" Asuka repeated, obviously not following. Asuka began to look at Shinji, finally noticing something. He got up, stumbling, his legs feeling like lead but his hand still clutching the bottle as if his life depended on it.

"Everyday we pass a thousand people on the street, right?" There was a quiet desperation in his voice, something palpable, something that could be tasted, like a bitter sticky substance coating his soul. "Any one of them could be our one, but we're too preoccupied to notice. We don't see one another. That's your thousand people out there. Every one of them… but none of them are willing to take the plunge… not even me…"

"Tell me, why are you doing this because you believe that for each couple you match up, you will win a… what? A mark? A tally? A bead?"

"N-no…"

"And when you get a hundred of them, you will magically transport back to Olympus to resume your life of leisure."

"No… I mean… I- I have absolutely no reason to be here."

"I ju—"

"So that's it?" She asked. "It that what this is all about?"

"N-no, I mean—"

"Some kind of challenge? A phallic argument over seeing who is the alpha male? Do you have issues with you father? Were you abused as a child?" Asuka asked each question, punctuating by poking Shinji in the chest.

"Then tell me why!" Asuka asked sharply.

"I don't know All right!" Shinji shouted, looking at her. "I don't know! All I know is that…"

"What!?"

"It's broken." Shinji said suddenly, staring at her with a different face, almost as if enlighten had reached him by chance.

"What?"

"It's broken." Shinji said looking at everything with a new light. "My heart was broken."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I wasn't able to take the pain." Shinji said a his eyes kept looking around, not focusing on anything, almost as if the words were coming by themselves. "I had to heal my heart. I had to heal all the broken hearts…"

"I don't—" Asuka began before she licked her lips, trying to learn more, trying to understand more. "Maybe you're here because you are the end of Eros himself, the embodiment of the idea of how love is blind, and now you have noticed that love isn't blind…"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that maybe… you loved someone and you weren't loved back, and maybe that was because you weren't meant to be, and you have to accept that not every love story has a happy ending." Asuka said softly. "And this is for you to simply move forward and forget all of this."

"You think you can get love that way? That you can make love go away? That you can find it through websites and show it with chocolates and flowers and presents and cards?"

"No, I think that there's a huge advantage of getting someone with a like-minded profile."

"For you maybe." Shinji said bitterly. "Your problem is that you stick everyone into these neat little psychological shoe boxes."

"Like what?"

"Needy co-dependant, insensitive aggressor, insecure narcissistic, delusional psychotic…"

"If the shoe box fits…" Asuka smirked at him.

"You know what?" Shinji said as Asuka took the bottle form him and gave it a drink. "You just can't pick a profile and assume that it'll get the job done."

"What do you mean?"

"Th— they're just— they're facts." Shinji simply stared at her, noticing for the first time what could be his salvation. "They have nothing to do with heat or chemistry or the stuff that makes up love."

"Love isn't brains!" Shinji said simply, as he pointed to his temple, almost as if his thumb and forefinger were mimicking a gun. "It doesn't think or rationalize. Love isn't logical, it's not supposed to make sense!"

"Love is supposed to be spontaneous, not clinically proven." Shinji said sitting down dejectedly, looking at the burning candle, at the paper that still showed him a "99" nearby, at the clock ticking away, watching as it was slowly ending.

"Love is supposed to be found by catching someone's attention in a sharp, hard undeniable way! Like walking around and hugging someone you don't know, or telling them to have a nice day… it's little small details that I can't do because I'm not allowed to do so!"

"Love is love…" He said as he pressed his hand against his chest. "It's guts and feelings and gravity and pull… love is blood…" He continued, leaning forward to be eye level with Asuka, his free hand against the edge of the table while the other one clasped his chest. "Blood screaming inside you to work its will."

Shinji staggered in front of her, kneeling while Asuka simply kept that dumb detached look any drunk person has, wondering if this was a dream or if this was a joke, until Shinji started talking again.

"Aren't you tied of it all?" Shinji said fervently almost as if the warmth of the wine on his body had turned into a fire raging within, a fever of epic proportions that felt as though he was going to be eaten alive by the feelings that were crashing and colliding, mixing and becoming one and more and all and nothing at the same time.

Asuka couldn't think straight, couldn't really understand any of it, all she cold do was stare at those blue eyes that seemed right now to hold onto the greatest mysteries of lives long gone, almost as if Shinji had been covering his face all this time, like she had never seen the real him underneath; not the meek and overly apologetic man, but someone who had a calm and focused face, someone who finally knew—

"What I am doing here is finding myself." Shinji said, as if reading her thoughts. "I'm tired of talking."

They stood like that for a moment; Asua opened her mouth, licked her lips, her eyes going from Shinji's serious face t his half closed lips as she leaned in almost at the same time Shinji mirrored her move.

Until a loud thunder clap smashed the silence to non existence, and the lights outside went out with a shower of sparks as something, presumably a transformer from a light post, exploded into the night, plunging the apartment into a darkness so dense the only light was the one form the candle in the middle of the dinning table.

But that was more than enough to have an effect on Asuka, as she got up with a jump, the spell now broken, the trance long gone.

"L-look I just… I really... I need to go home, okay?" Asuka said as she realized in a startled rush of adrenaline the implications of her being drunk and alone with someone who was her patient and—

"I have to go home, that's what I have to do."

"Don't you get tired of it?" Shinji asked, not regarding or not caring fr what Asuka had said, desperate, hungry, prowling.

"Shinji, what do you mean?"

"Don't you get tired of talking and posturing and building walls?"

"I do—"

"Don't you get tired of talking?"

"No, I don't." Asuka said as she held her hand to her head. "Shinji what are yo—"

"Well I do." Shinji simply responded in a calm, subdued voice, echoes of times and waves crashing by, of rivers and honey and epic long wars held in his voice and for a moment Asuka—

"I don't want to talk anymore."

Before she could say anything else, Shinji raised his hands and grabbed her by her biceps, the alcohol and the anger finally breaking the self contained barrier he had been wearing, the depression, the notice, the idea of him becoming a mortal finally mattering to him as little as wasted air.

Before he finally kissed her.

Asuka's eyes were open wide at the shock and surprise before a warm sensation of something familiar, something melting away from within her, like a lead blanket that had been wrapped around her began to slowly slip away.

She staggered back as Shinji kept her face with his, his hands traveling form her arms to her neck to her face cupping lovingly and delicately and fiercely and possessively at the same time, until the wall stopped their retreat. Asuka held up before she slid down the wall, Shinji following suit as he held on top of her, kissing her for all it was worth, for all that could be lost and for all that could be gained.

Mortality for falling in love with a mortal wasn't anymore a fear, nor was it to be held in a fragile container such as this.

Shinji realized the lesson to b learned and so he held onto Asuka, kissing her, as all around him th winds form the storm began to pick up, thunder and lightning showing up as the wind forced open the windows, making the papers inside the room fly in a circular formation.

Shinji caught sight out of the corner of his eyes as the small parchment he had been thumbing changed numbers from a "99" to "100", before it caught the flame of the candle and disintegrated in a flash of flame and smoke, not even leaving ashes behind.

And then, the last candle was blown off, and their whole world was plunged into darkness.

_**AN:**__ Hmm… don't know where this came from. Oh, well, I pledge drunkenness on Shinji's part... really why should Asuka always be th one drunk?_

_In any event Happy Valentine's days to all. Thanks go to Himonky, Fresh C, and Fraulein Kaname Langley for prereading this. The story is taken form a very good romantic comedy drama series called Cupid (Not mine, but Rob Thomas, Columbia Tri-Star and Mandalay)_

_Thanks for Reading._

_EB, out._


	11. Kiss 25, Way 11

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka **

**Themes: K-25 (Fence) W-11 (Games) **

**Title: Of Circumstances**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or Hamtaro. This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, lets take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."_**

**_It all snowballed from there._**

* * *

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other. _**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

* * *

Walking home from school had never been a chore for Shinji.

At least not until he had known Asuka. Ever since that fateful moment he had been introduced to her, and ever since they had been living on the same building, everything that had been easy as pie changed into something more... complex; walking home had been a simple routine he had always loved doing, and also his favorite moment because he was always to do some quiet introspection, think and not be forced to partake in any sort of sharing of his thoughts.

"Hey idiot, Hurry up."

Now however, for the sake of keeping appearances, he had to do it ever so often, and it was slowly getting on his nerves.

"Say, Miss Asuka... Why do you always call Shinji an idiot?"

Asuka stopped short and turned to look at Nozomi Horaki, walking hand in hand with her sister giving her a serious (for a six year old) and cursory glance.

"That's because he is an idiot, 'Zomi."

Asuka turned to look at the smiling innocent face of the girl holding onto her right hand before smiling back at Mari Suzuhara, sharing the known smile of someone who had the correct answer at the right time.

Nozomi, however didn't seem so sure, and Mari could see this in her face; they have been best friends all of their lives (Or at least since first grade) but she still couldn't understand how Nozomi sometimes couldn't accept what Asuka was saying.

After all it was a know fact boys had cooties; logic would dictate that this was because thy were idiots and perverts. Mari had no clue what the second one meant (And she had heard stupid Toji say Asuka would kill any pervert to come near her when her idiot brother had mentioned something about pictures and her), so she accepted that as a given; figuring Asuka was always right, and therefore that answer satisfied the young girl's curiosity.

Nozomi thought about it for a second, turning to look at the aforementioned idiot who was currently carrying his own books bags, as well as the backpacks of the girls who were ahead of him,

"Asuka!" Hikari said suddenly, frowning at her face who simply turned at smiled apologetically at the pigtailed girl who held her own sister's hand. Nozomi simply looked at both the redhead and her best friend Mari, a look far too serious in the small face of the shorter, glasses wearing girl.

"What?"

"That's not a very nice thing to say." Nozomi said, ignoring her sister and Asuka, after all, if they wanted to behave like children, she wasn't going to stop the girls; Nozomi had more important things to do, like educate Mari.

"Oh please, he is an idiot!" Mari said with conviction, her mannerism mirroring those of Asuka; hands in hips, legs parted and with a glare that looked scarier enough on the Suzuhara girl regardless of size or age, getting a smiling approval from Asuka and a grumbled answer from Shinji who made him the target of Mari's tongue being stuck out at him.

"But he's Toji's best friend, you should be good to him." Nozomi tried to draw some sense on her friend, who was busy arranging her short hair in a high ponytail held at the side of her head, discarding the dumb yellow hat which Shinji wordlessly took before putting it inside of Mari's Hamtaro book bag.

Mari simply stared at Hikari before turning to seek confirmation of her idol, which made Hikari in turn glare at Asuka, shaking her head disapprovingly while Nozomi did the exact same thing in a eerily synchronized way, which would have normally made the redhead laugh at them; this time, however it made Asuka simply sigh before she nodded, not needing to see Hikari to know her best friend was staring at her intently.

"Hikari is right... we shouldn't pick on the boy for being an idiot."

"B-but Miss Asuka!" Mari whined, drawing the "a" at the end for extra feeling, feeling the need to stand by her initial assessment of Shinji, even if he was a good guy who would help her with classes when he wasn't busy getting beaten at the videogames by both Asuka and herself.

"Mari."

"Look at him! He's a dork!" Mari began, pointing at Shinji who simply rolled his eyes at the younger girl's antics. "He's not cool and has dumb hair and needs to cut it and sucks at videogames and he stutters a lot an-"

Shinji simply frowned at every passing derogatory comment before Asuka wordlessly grabbed Mari's shoulder, making Toji's sister shut and look at the redhead.

"Ease up on him, Mari." Asuka said simply before looking straight at Shinji's eyes.

"He might be a dummy, but he's a good dummy." She added quietly, hoping no one heard clearly enough.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!"

Mari stared at Asuka, her eyebrows knitting in confusion as she tried to understand what was Asuka trying to get at, before a light bulb literally was turned on in her head.

"Oh I get it, you need him happy so he can make you supper and do your chores." She said smiling a lopsided smile. "I always do that with stupid Toji."

"Wh-? No!" Asuka exclaimed before she blushed at the passing glances of the people around her, muttered chuckles with the words "crazy" "exchange" "students" mixed with the sighs and hopes of being young again.

"Then? You need his help at school?" Mari said in the same tone, smiling an opened mouth smile that showed a missing tooth, giving it an endearing look, before frowning. "I tried it once and Toji helped and I got a really low grade on that class. Ever since then, Miss Hikari helps me."

"No Mari." Nozomi said with a long suffering sigh, as if her having to deal with her normally hyperactive friend's antics cause the smaller, almost miniature version of Hikari a growing head ache. "She wants you to let her boyfriend in peace."

"WHAT!?" The twin exclamations of Mari and Asuka overshadowed Hikari's giggle and Shinji's own gasp of surprise. "B-But..."

"It is rather obvious." Nozomi continued, happy with the chance to use the newest words she had learned while thumbing though Kodama books; longer, bigger, fancier words were what smart girls in higher grades used; they also seemed to make Mari frown and decide that whatever anyone who used them might say was probably true.

"But that's not possible!" Mari said with all the conviction she could muster staring at Shinji and then at Asuka before pointing at both with her finger. "H-he's idiot Shinji! A-and she's Miss Asuka! Why would she want to go out with boys!"

At this the three teens smirked, seeing Mari shudder at the mention of boys, whispering under breath other adjectives such as "ick" and "gross".

"Besides, if Miss Asuka has to have a boyfriend, it has to be someone cool, like Sousuk-"

"He's an anime character!" Nozomi exclaimed while pinching her nose like she had seen adults do it; she thought it looked cool.

"Whatever!" Mari told her dorky friend; why was that dummy pinching her nose? everyone knew you should pick at it if it bugged you.

"Besides, Miss Asuka likes Shinji but she likes to hide the fact by being mean to him, just like you and Maru-"

"I d-don't like that idiot!" Mari interrupted Nozomi, blushing and turning away in a huff. "He's a big dumb meanie who is always pulling my hair and hiding my books and making me trip!"

Nozomi sighed theatrically, making her sister and Asuka giggle while Shinji simply felt like it would be better to let the two younger girls resolve this without him getting involved.

"Please, you're the one who does that to him." Nozomi said, not minding the fact that her best friend's face had a color that equaled Asuka's hair. "You always take his milk box at lunch and throw paper balls and pieces of chalk at him."

"T-that's because he's a big dumb jerk."

"And you always scribble in his notebook with the red crayon. And you always push his seat when you have to go explain a lesson."

"T-that's..." Mari began trying to make Nozomi shut up. "That's because red is my favorite color a-and he is so fat I can't pass by his side whenev-"

"Not to mention that you always get angry when he picks Aki to play with him or when he gives her his cookie."

"W-well that's because Aki is dumb and she doesn't know him that good."

Without knowing, all five of them had reached entrance of the Horaki household, and Hikari, Asuka and Shinji stared at both small girls who kept arguing about one's attraction to her classmate while the other one denied it vehemently, red faced and fidgeting at every word. This continued back and forth until Hikari decided to make the two girls settle down, followed by Shinji giving them their book bags while Nozomi bowed respectfully at the brown haired boy to thank him, and Mari simply chucked her foot and mumbled a thank you.

"Sorry about these two." Hikari said smirking as the two girls raced inside with the promise of snacks and videogames after they finished their homework. "Apparently Mari has her eye on one of her classmates but she seems to be afraid to act on her feelings."

"Yeah..." Shinji said simply to fill in the uncomfortable silence.

"Nozomi keeps telling her she's being childish at that, but you know her, she feels like she needs to act tough on principle." Hikari said with a practiced shrug of her shoulders, giving her best friend a very familiar look before looking at Shinji again. "Really childish, no?"

"Yeah, we got that." Asuka said dryly, turning to check her watch, ignoring Hikari's smirk directed at her.

"Yeah, so childish and immature."

Asuka mumbled something under her breath while Shinji simply bowed and said goodbye to Hikari.

"By the way..."

Both teens stopped short at Hikari's tone, turning to her. Only to have Shinji flinch as he saw the pigtailed girl's index finger pointed directly at him.

"Mari was right; your hair needs to be cut, remember school policy; I don't want to see you with that hair uncut or I'll have to give you a write up, Ikari-kun." She smirked at Shinji's shocked expression before turning to Asuka who was busy trying to hide her smirk behind her hands.

While his hairstyle was the same as usual; an adequate but messy cut, when Asuka looked at Shinji's face closer, she did notice it seemed to have grown quite a bit; the redhead was about to crack a joke at that, mentioning how his normal choir-boy 'do' was now starting to resemble more that crazy guy who was dressed in a green jumpsuit from that new anime about ninja's that had taken the nation by surprise.

Minus the eyebrows, of course.

Shinji, of course, fidgeted as he felt himself be the center of attention from both Hikari and Asuka, prompting him to grab his bangs and ease them back, before pinching a bit of his hair and trying to ascertain it's length by that.

"Uh... do-does it look strange?"

Asuka felt a small smile tugging at the corners or her mouth; it was when Shinji did this sort of stuttering thing, usually whenever he felt he was put on the spot light, what normally made her realize sometimes he wasn't that bad after all; a bit dull and somewhat prone of being pushed over, but always someone that would eventually come through, even if he had to be pushed towards making a choice.

"Asuka, you'll be in charge of that."

Asuka stopped snickering at that. "Wh-what!? That's a joke right Hikari?"

"No joke." Hikari said in the same tone she reserved when dealing out school policy to any student, and Asuka knew right then and there she was in trouble. "Make sure Ikari has his hair cut or you'll get a write up tomorrow as well."

Before anything else could be said, or rather, before Asuka and Shinji could recover from their shock and make any sort of refusal, Hikari had walked inside her house, closing the door behind her, a satisfied smile in her face.

* * *

Asuka was grumbling.

That was never a good thing.

Shinji sighed, again. This seemed to be the most acceptable answer as they had walked out the third hair saloon looking for an emergency squeeze-in, and time was of the essence. Normal business hours meant that the saloons would be closing in by 6.00 and it was already 5.45. All of the places they had gone to had required an appointment beforehand, which left them with little choice.

As the notion began to sink on each of the teens that they would be given a write-up. Making each one react in their usual way; Shinji getting depressed but accepting his fate with quiet dignity and just the right amount of whine, while Asuka tried to force herself inside simply to be asked politely to leave or have the cops called.

"... and to top it off I'm in charge of making sure you get a haircut!" She said in an obvious pissed off way. "I mean it's one thing if you idiot don't care about your personal appearance, but why am I the one in charge of this?"

The residential area surrounding their apartments was quiet now; dusk settling down, the sky becoming tat strange mixture of orange and purplish dark blue. Autumn was deepening, making the air feel chillier as the evening quickly cooled down from the setting sun. Both Asuka and Shinji had been walking by the bridge that connected one of the sidewalks to the other, allowing them to cross over the bustling avenue filled with cars.

"I'm sorry."

"What do you have to apologize for?" Asuka snarled back.

"Look, why are you getting so upset and worked up over this?"

"Because it's your own damn fault in the first place."

Asuka had stopped in the middle of the bridge to tell him off, making Shinji frown at that, but once Asuka's little outburst was done, she stopped and sighed, pouting. She knew Hikari would never actually give them a write-up for something as silly as a haircut, but...

"How long have we known each other?"

The setting sun and its colors made Shinji stare at Asuka's profile, the soft, warm colors making her hair seem more lovely; Asuka's hair color had always fascinated Shinji ever since he had known the German redhead; there was something about that girl...

"What the hell is that supposed to do with this?" Asuka said

"I just want to know, why are you always like this with me..."

Asuka stopped short and looked at Shinji, the question catching her by surprise; she noticed he had mirrored her position: one hand on the rail and the other grabbing his leather carrier, looking out at the horizon in deep contemplation.

Asuka was about to answer with her usual snippy tone, almost tempted to start with a mocking sing song voice and ask if _wittle shinji was sad and wants to cwy_ before she realized she had been more and more aggressive with him lately.

She had always thought it was part of who they were: people seemed to love... no, actually people seemed to _expect_ their "snap, crackle, pop" routine, often making or goading them into argument that seemed to erupt out of thin air.

But he was Shinji, a well meaning mumbling fool who at the end of the day would always smile at her and wish her good night before closing the door to the small veranda of the apartment where he and his parents lived, which was next to one Asuka and her mom had.

And she was Asuka; sure she could be a little rude, and somewhat overbearing; she could be breathing down your neck, and calling you names, picking on you, teasing you but...

Somehow, through it all it always boiled down to the same thing: Shinji and her always managed to laugh at their combined antics at the end of the day while Rei will simply roll her eyes as she sat next to them, asking questions to keep the conversation going while drinking calmly and demurely from her cup of tea, as the three helped the other with their respective questions from their assignments while both their mothers would be in the kitchen of either of their apartments preparing dinner, Gendo not that far from Yui, helping her until she will tell him to stop bugging and go sit and wait, and Shinji's dad will then walk to the living room and sit, thumbing through the ever present paper.

Sometimes, when their parents had to stay and work late Shinji would cook for both girls, and then Asuka would say that she had to go and get ready, looking back from the door at the image of Shinji and Rei washing the dishes side by side, smiling and laughing in their own special way.

And Asuka would then frown and feel a slight tear inside, and she would go straight to the couch and fall asleep waiting for Kyoko to arrive, only to have her wake the redhead up, smiling softly as they went to their respective bedrooms and sleep the rest of the night away.

But for Shinji, lately, seeing Asuka and thinking about her had made him blush involuntarily, something Rei had begun to catch upon, but had wisely decided not to ask him, even if he was always the target of the blue haired girl's questioning eyes, asking silently a question he had no answer for.

"Look, Shin-"

A slight drizzle began to fall, a drizzle that soon became a rain pour, making them both scream and run as quickly as possible to their apartments, and whatever Asuka had been wanting to say was interrupted by this.

* * *

"Yes Mom, I understand."

Shinji frowned, looking at the mess in the kitchen and the bathroom before he began to pick everything up.

"No, it's no problem."

He was sure somewhere, someone would probably beg to differ but that wasn't neither here nor there.

"See you then."

Asuka emerged from his room flipping her mobile closed while putting it away, dressed in a light shirt and cut off jean shorts, bare footed and toweling her hair dry, grumbling to herself about idiots and keys being left inside the apartment; she had reached her door after telling Shinji to make a run for it only to find out she had no key with her.

"So?"

She had to bang in Shinji's door and explain the situation to him, asking for his help, getting ushered inside the warm apartment, her nose already assaulted with the smell of food being cooked, before Shinji emerged with a pair of towels, and Asuka excused herself, going into the bathroom to take a warm shower grateful she had brought her gym supplies inside her bag, until she realized her hair brush was not, shrugging before taking the one in the bathroom and brushing and combing her hair.

Asuka snorted. "Mom wants for me to wait here until she and your parents come home."

The unspoken tension made itself resent once more while Shinji fumbled for an answer.

"W-well, I mean, you can stay here, I'll just be in my room listening to music an-"

"Oh, so you don't want to spend time with me?"

Ever since he knew her, it had been like this; Asuka would go on the offensive, pushing her advantage and shooting accusation behind accusation, but right now... the hurt in Asuka's voice was quite obvious, but right now it ticked Shinji the wrong way.

"You're the one who keeps saying I'm a bother and an idiot and all that." Shinji said back. "I thought you would be jumping of joy at the idea of having me out of your hair."

Asuka flinched at that, but just as she was about to counter in someway, she heard Shinji's quiet apology. "Look Asuka..."

Asuka's face began to fall as she imagined that Shinji would tell her to get out and wait for her mother outside.

"Look, I'm-" Asuka cut in, silencing him, as she sucked the air in and braced herself to give him an apology, but somehow the words refused to come out of her mouth. "The things I say, I don't always mean them-"

Shinji's arched eyebrow and look clearly said she wasn't going to be getting of the hook so easily.

"Okay, so I do mean them, I just-"

Shinji simply sighed at that. "Look, it's no big deal; I'll just go out and hang with Toji and Kensuke at the arcade, you can stay here."

"Idiot. I am not chasing you off, and the rain hasn't let up." Asuka said, blushing uncomfortably, deciding to shut up before she began to try and grasp for more reasons to stay.

He shrugged before continuing. "I'm sorry to be such a bother, I called Rei and she said she was still doing this thing, so she won't be back until seven or eight."

Asuka scoffed at that. "Why are you even trying to be nice when you know what I think of you and I _know_ what you think of me?"

"Because..."

"Yeah well stop doing it, and cut the crappy 'I'm a martyr" routine."

He inhaled, exhaled and cricked his neck. God, this girl was irritating. "What is your problem, Asuka?"

"My problem?"

"Yeah, yours." He looked the other way, withering under Asuka's glare. "Why can't you just _let_ me be nice?"

"Because it makes me uncomfortable." She said softly. "_This_ whole thing makes me uncomfortable."

"Precisely why I'm telling you I'll be outside, besides..." Shinji said as he took the phone and began to punch in the numbers as he smiled a small smile. "You are practically family, so I'm su-"

"W-wait! I mean..." Asuka's mind raced as she tried to find explanation as to why he had to stay here. "I-if you go outside, I'll be responsible for you catching a cold or something a-and you mom and my mom AND Rei will say I'm the one who di-"

"Mom would never do."

"My mom would..." Asuka added softly. "And so would Rei."

Shinji simply kept quiet at that, knowing full well what Asuka was trying to do, but deciding to give the redhead a break. Asuka watched the normally quiet boy with the saddest smile she had ever seen look somewhat dispirited, reminding her of a tired, stray puppy, too scared and weak to do anything but stare and hope for someone to give him some food or affection...

"Can't we... stay? Both of us?" Asuka said as she grabbed Shinj's hand, making him set the phone down on the cradle, trailing off, and Shinji turned to look at her; her eyes were cast down, and she seemed to be struggling to say whatever was on her mind before she finally let out a forced sigh and looked up, meeting his eyes.

She turned again to look at Shinji who had also found the floor to be rather interesting, noticing that his hair was still uncut, wet and ruffled up... in short, he looked pretty bad.

And leaving him like that would be irresponsible of her and she didn't want to find out if Hikari was serious about the write up.

"Hey..." She began softly after thinking about it for a minute or two, making Shinji look at her silently. "Why don't I give you a haircut while we wait for Rei?

* * *

Even if the Ikari household was big enough for a 4 person family, their bathroom was still small and cramped; Shinji watched the small oval mirror over the faucets, a plastic glass with four toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste next to it.

On the other side of the sink, laid a brush that still had the familiar strawberry aroma of Asuka's shampoo and body wash from when she had taken a quick shower just as they had arrived to prevent a cold.

Somehow the idea of Asuka being naked in his shower, lathering up and enjoying a warm bath made Shinji feel...

"Is this too tight?" Asuka asked as she tied a towel around his neck before putting a butterfly clip on it to make sure it wouldn't come undone, pulling Shinji pout of his reverie.

"N-no, it's all right Asuka."

Shinji sighed, again, moving in the chair that had newspaper underneath to make it easier to clean as Asuka extended a vinyl sheet and proceeded to tie it around his neck using the towel as a cushion before putting another clip on the edges, making sure it covered as much as it could of Shinji's body to prevent any hair clippings on his clothes.

"Alright, let's do this." Asuka said as she retrieved a pair of rounded tips scissors her mother would use to give her tips a trim before she began to laugh in an over the top, sinister sounding low chuckle.

Shinji caught sight of Asuka's mischievous smile as she played with the scissors she intended to use to cut at his bangs and hair, making the boy feel uneasy at the idea of her being able to make him look ridiculous in any more ways than she could already.

"A-Asuka... do you uh..." Shinji stammered wondering the best way to word his concerns before deciding to be straight with Asuka."Do you have any experience cutting hair?"

"No." Asuka answered shrugging, but never losing her smile as she began to feel around Shinji's head, looking at the soft, straight dark brown, almost black hair and wondering where to begin. "But I've played around with Hikari's and Mari's hair."

"So... this is your fist time actually cutting it?"

"Yeah."

Shinji's face became paler than normal, feeling his forehead become wet and not precisely because of the rain.

"Please don't cut my hair in a funny way." He pleaded, half joking-half serious.

"What about your ears?"

_Snip_.

She had meant it as a joke, the snipping was a slow, drawn sound of polished flat metal blades scrapping against the other slowly, and Shinji's thoughts were, literally, cut by the sound of the scissors closing close to his ears

"Please don't cut off my ears?"

Shinji cold see through the mirror how Asuka was still giving him _that _smile: lips tugging up but not high enough to call it a smile, and eyes staring straight at him, like a playful kitten who had just happened upon a defenseless mouse, and was advancing with the intention of playing with him, unaware that to the mouse that "play" seemed more like "maul" and for some reason whatever Asuka would have said, Shinji was sure he would have nodded regardless.

But Asuka's whispered words made their way, jumping the fence of his thoughts before Shinji realized the soft pressure on his shoulder was her hand and the warmth he felt on his cheek was her closeness and the soft wetness of her breath whispered against his ear with a soft blow of air.

"Don't worry, I'll see what I can do."

It had begun slowly at first; Asuka's fingers tentatively dancing around Shinji's scalp, softly feeling the distinctive bumps that gave form to his head; she had been looking intently as if deciding the best way to tackle the situation before she grabbed a bit of hair between fore and middle finger, leveling it with her thumb wile the scissors slowly sniped at it, and Shinji felt the soft sound of the falling hair as it made contact with the sheet covering him and the newspapers on the floor.

"So... Shinji..."

"Uh... yeah?"

Shinji looked at the reflection o the mirror, noticing Asuka had a different look on her face, and her voice sounded softer than usual, and he kicked himself mentally for stammering again, wondering what was it about her that made him be intimidated simply by the closeness of her.

Asuka kept quiet for a moment, grabbing another bit of his hair and cutting it softly, slowly, before patting his head with her hand in a sideway motion to make sure all the clippings had fallen.

"You know I didn't mean anything of it on purpose, did you?"

Shinji nodded but said nothing; it was always like that with them: Asuka would say things about him at school whenever someone mentioned the possibility of her liking him, or of them being closer than she would like. Asuka would typically respond with an outraged cry and deny all of it, and she would go out of her way to make fun of Shinji for whatever reason, hoping in that way to make it more clearer that there was nothing going on between them.

_Snip_. Another bit of hair fell and Asuka kept staring at his hair and his face using the mirror. Looking at how each cut gave a new dimension to Shinji's head, slowly molding it to how he would normally be seen, little by little... cut by cut.

"It's just that... sometimes I say things without really meaning them or thinking about them."

And it was true; sometimes she would cross the line and Hikari and Rei will tell Asuka in their own way to back off; sometimes Toji will jump in to defend his buddy and another shouting match between both the German and the boy "Osaka" as many boy would call Toji behind his back would erupt.

_Snip_. Another cut, almost like a hit on a chisel against marble, taking away that which isn't needed to leave underneath something the sculptor felt was there.

"A-and I know I normally don't say I'm sorry..."

Because in the secrecy of their walk home, just after they had rounded up the corner from the park and they were only 5 minutes away from the comfort of their house, Asuka would wordlessly grab his hand without looking at him, simply staring ahead with a light blush on her face while Shinji would close his eyes and smile, missing Asuka's own smile as well.

"But... I am, alright? I should've never have called you an idiot simply to get a good laugh, I'll talk with Mari about her easing up on you."

"It's not about Mari."

Asuka looked down; she knew it wasn't about Mari, she knew what this was about, but she really didn't want to touch that issue, at least not right now.

_Snip_. Shinji simply kept quiet.

_Snip_. Asuka made sure to hold her word of not giving him a ridiculous haircut, even if she _did_ try to make him go for the Mohican cut.

_Snip_. Shinji watched as Asuka held his head in her hands, making him look from side to side to make sure the hair was not too short or long from either side before she nodded to herself, pleasant and kept on giving his hair small little snips and cuts.

Shinji had began to feel relaxed and comfortable, the issues resolved in his mind before he felt Asuka's whispered voice once more against his ear, and her body heat so close to his.

"The truth is..." She began softly, in a breathless voice, and Shinji could see her face; eyes closed, small honest smile on her lips and a light flush on her cheeks.

"Even if I can't be who I really am with anyone, I feel I can be myself with you."

There was a quiet and tacit agreement spoken there, but Shinji was sure he would get clarification later on; that was the way Asuka was: She never held anything to herself for long; she would bitch and moan and dance around the issue, kicking buckets and biting out snarky remarks, but at the end of the day you could count on Asuka letting you know what bugged her, even if it wasn't always the whole thing.

Because one thing Shinji had come to realize after all this time with the redhead was she never let up; she could come as a sort of daring self assured and independent girl.

But underneath it all, Shinji was sure to have seen brief glimpses of the real her; brief cases of "blink-and-you-miss-them" actions that seemed to be at odds with the normal Asuka behavior.

She was duality; evens... half and half. The day could start sunny and cheery and in the middle a storm could begin brewing but by night, the sky was once again peaceful and calm.

And Shinji knew that was the truth about Asuka; what mattered was what was done during the storm. Shinji would normally squeak and try to get away, but Asuka knew that when the chips were down and it mattered all to fate and chance, Shinji would be there in the storm, gritting his teeth but braving away, silently daring pride, pomp and circumstance to do their worst.

But once those words had been said, once nothing could take them away, Shinji felt a strange sensation overcame him; unknown, but familiar... warm and tender.

It felt like his chest was tight, and his heart was being crushed. His face was warm and something felt to be welling inside of him.

"Could you turn your head a little?"

Shinji never answered, simply turned his face to one side never taking his eyes from Asuka's smile reflected on the mirror, before he saw her lips moving again.

"No, not that way... the other way."

Shinji felt Asuka's long, thin fingers pressing against his face, and the sensation felt good, it felt calmer and cooler against his own skin, and though the corner of his eye, Shinji could see Asuka next to him, her red hair tied in a loose ponytail, moving around and noticed, involuntarily her white T-shirt.

It was a pretty cheap T-shirt made of material so thin that you could see through it in the light, and somehow Shinji's eyes were glued to the slender figure clothed in jean and cotton, and as Asuka moved in front of him to try to cut the hair on his forehead, the contour of her body from her armpit down to the bones showing from her jean short sitting so low on her hip were slightly visible through the shirt.

It was a sleek and slender curve and Shinji quickly looked down as if he had just looked at the sun, but Asuka took his head and made him look up, forcing Shinji to stare at the cleavage of her low hanging top.

And Shinji had nothing else to do but close his eyes, until Asuka let go of his head.

* * *

Asuka kept staring at the tips of his bangs, cutting small bits and pieces, she had done rather well so far and she did not want to screw it up. She stared intently at the tips falling, before she brushed them, when she noticed it.

Shinji was asleep.

Asuka smiled at him, shaking her head; Shinji had always have the rare ability of being able to fall asleep anywhere he chose, he never needed a bed, never missed his pillows, he could be on the train and simply drift off into a pleasant sleep, and while Asuka would never accept this out loud, she purposely always took the seat next to him to enjoy the quiet moments when his head will roll and rest on her.

But this time it was different for some reason; it felt different because they were here, and they were alone and his lips were slightly parted, and his soft snores only made him seem much more younger.

She was almost kneeling in front of him, their faces apart by mere inches and Asuka felt her face inch slowly towards his, her eyes on his lips feeling the air from his mouth softly against her own lips, licking them reflexively as they opening softly to accept his before-

They kissed.

Shinji had somehow inched forward at the last moment, his lips bumping softly into Asuka's before she realized this soft gentle pressure was that kiss.

"As... ka..."

Asuka blinked. She was sure he had said her name, softly, almost a mere whisper, but he had, she was su-

She blinked, seeing Shinji's eyes opened and staring directly at her, a blush on his face as he tried to-

Asuka felt her cheeks burning, an uncomfortable feeling coming over her before she growled and got up.

"Wait a second, I forgot to rinse!"

Shinji's eyes shot open before his explanation was garbled by the water falling of top of him immediately thereafter.

* * *

Rei blinked and arched an eyebrow at the image of Shinji's head still wet and dripping when he walked out to greet her.

"It rained. A lot." Shinji explained simply.

Rei nodded, before she looked away simply to look back at Shinji again.

"I-is something wrong Rei?"

Rei looked at Shinji's face with cold, clinical eyes before she inched forward and stared at him more intensely, getting his head in her hands and making him look left and right.

"Your hair appears to be cut, the length of the sides are now asymmetrical." Rei observed simply, before nodding her approval. Shinji sighed at that before Rei threw offhandedly over her shoulder one last observation.

"Also your lips seem to have some gloss on them."

Shinji coughed at that before going to his room while Asuka kept strangely quiet watching TV.

Rei simply flashed herself a small little enigmatic smile before she went to her room and changed as well, taking out her books before all three teenagers eventually sat to finish their homework assignments.

* * *

"C'mon Shinji!" Mari said laughing wildly as Shinji carried her over his shoulder, eliciting shrieks and screams of the little girl while Asuka held Nozomi's hand, the smaller Horaki sighing but not being able to hide the smile from watching her friend so happy.

Shinji ran twice as fast, being careful to hold Mari tightly against himself. The girl in turn held onto his forehead, eyes wide open as saucers, moth agape and the childish, pure sound of her laughter filling the otherwise quiet walk home.

"So Mari seems happier than yesterday." Asuka began as she and Nozomi let those two race farther down the street, Shinji's screams and Mari's laughter blending seamlessly into the other against the warm sunny day.

"Yeah. She had to apologize to Aki for making her cry..."

"Oh!" Asuka said mildly surprised. "So is Aki alright?"

"She's better; Mari and her started playing together again." Nozomi answered with a shrug. "Mari was mad at Aki because Aki had to do a project with Ma-" Nozomi clasped her hands over her mouth, trying to stop herself from divulging a secret.

"Ma..?"

"Uh... with some boy."

"Oh... so Mari likes that some boy?" Asuka pressed smiling.

Nozomi simply nodded, biting her lip and looking down at her feet. "B-but I promised her no to tell."

"Don't worry I won't tell."

Nozomi looked at her with uncertain and doubt before Asuka flashed her a dazzling smile, extending her pinky to promise it.

"Pinky swear." Asuka said in a low, secretive whisper, like conspirators planning an attack, before Nozomi smiled the same smile and nodded, locking her own pink onto Asuka's and shaking it, before they both heard Shinji's screams and Mari's crazed cackles as they neared again, and Asuka stood up, brushing her knees from any imaginary dust as she held her hand to Nozomi.

"Sometimes we all need to keep our secrets." She said, looking at Shinji and smiling a different smile.

And for once, Nozomi agreed with Asuka on that.

Once they had arrived at the apartment building, and Shinji had walked into his own, Asuka herded Nozomi and Mari; before entering Shinji gave them a small smile and his eyes lingered far longer on Asuka who simply turned and opened her door.

"So is Shinji still an idiot." Nozomi said innocently at Mari who smiled at him, waving.

"Yeah." Mari aid getting inside and taking her shoes, shrugging like she always did. "But sometimes he's a cool idiot, right Miss Asuka?"

Asuka smiled at that.

"Sometimes." She repeated softly, as she checked her watch. "Ok squirts, remember that we have to meet your brother and our sister in the train station before eight, so you better have all your homework finished by then or no ice cream."

Asuka ignored the groans of Mari as Nozomi simply took out her notebook and began to do her own homework quietly, walking to her room and changing out of her uniform before she saw her phone vibrate to life.

Smiling at the displayed caller number, Asuka opened it and spoke into it.

"Hey, we'll be leaving at around seven."

"_How funny, I'll be taking the garbage around that time._"

Asuka smiled, falling back on her bed and staring at the ceiling, her hand trailing and scratching at the plaster of the wall against which her bed head rested. "That really is a coincidence, but I will be going to the station, not the incinerator."

"_Oh..._" She could almost see the blush on his face as he tried to come with another excuse. "_W-well, I could go buy some groceries, I had this guest yesterday..._"

"Oh really? A pretty girl maybe? You're such a Casanova." Asuka smirked, expecting him to stutter and mutter an apology, already forming the words _Idiot, I'm playing_ on her lips.

"_Actually, she's a crazy girl who ate the last pack of ramen and now I need to get some more._"

Asuka smiled softly at herself, glad that he was getting in the mood to be teased and tease her back.

"Maybe you should accompany us then, there are a lot of perverts out during the night for a couple of grade-schoolers and a cute defenseless little girl like me."

"_Uh... but I'm not good at fighting or any th-_"

"Idiot." Asuka chuckled into the phone. "You know I never hold back on a fight... but someone's gotta protect the poor perverts..." She said smiling.

* * *

"Then I guess I should go then." Shinji said with his phone cradled against his neck, stirring the last package of instant ramen to have a light snack.

* * *

"Yeah, you should." Asuka said as she switched ears. "Besides, Mari thinks you're kind of cool now."

Asuka finished the scentence before turning onto her back, seeing the smiling, giggling faces of Mari and Nozomi peering at her from the door to her room, realizing she was screwed.

"Oh, _Verda_-"

* * *

"_Newlyweds, newlyweds, newlyweds, newlyweds!"_

_"S-shut up! we're not like that!"_

_"Asuka and Shinji sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I"_

_"Sh-shut up twerps!"_

On the other side of the line, Shinji laughed at that before pushing the "end" button. He stared at his reflection on the window and looked right and left, before striking an Elvis-esque pose, both hands going to the side of his head, slicking the hair back.

"I'm kind of cool, yo." He said in what he hoped was a deep, rumbling sexy voice, before the smell of burning ramen reached his nose, making him squeak in terror and run to the kitchen to turn off the stove, tripping on a couch, and stubbing his toe, jumping on one foot and howling in pain before his last words replayed in his mind again.

_I'm kind of cool, yo._

* * *

**_AN: I despise sequels; a good story has to be told in one partition, not endlessly revised and tied-in, or retconed into existence. There are quite a handful of movies whose sequels rock the boat however; The Godfather, The Lord of the Rings, I know what you did last summer (If only for the promise of seeing Jeniffer Love Hewwit do the Americanized version of the Gainax Bounce TM)._**

**_Short side stories are an exception because they exist in a self contained world, however this short side stories can become stories unto themselves, and to illustrate this point, I will tell you one: _**

_There once was a princess who lived in a far away land; she was cute and sweet and was dubbed the idol of her kingdom. She wasn't really sure about it, because she felt herself to be of a rare species who would identify themselves as tsunderes, which came from an ancient and superior kick-ass land where tsundere literally meant "I will kick your ass and then nurse you back to health because I like/love you but I am not sure of how to explain my feelings, thus I need to act tough in front of everyone but when we are together I will sometimes show you a more vulnerable side of me."_

_Or, something like that; in any event, the princess was categorized as a tsundere._

_One day, a wandering minstrel (loser) came about town and was introduced to the princess by fate itself (some unknown and highly coincidental way). Unbeknownst to the minstrel __(loser)__, the princess had heard about said __minstrel __(loser)__ by word of mouth of others, but him being the shy __minstrel __(loser)__ he normally was, decided to keep to himself._

_Until the princes began to speak to him._

_She found his stories (lies) to be, for some reason, somewhat entertaining (not as boring) ... and when she heard about a quick small little story of no more than 2000 words he had cooked up but had to sing as a stand alone piece because it wouldn't fit an epic story he was working on that was so epic he just couldn't play it out of the story's sheer epicness (__didn't seem will ever be finished anytime soon) __, she liked it so much she began to ask (__bug ) __him for a second part._

_The asking (__bugging ) __became __pleading (whining)__, the __pleading (whining)__ transformed into a solicitation (pestering), the __solicitation (pestering)__ soon was a royal decree (demand) and soon the __minstrel __(loser)__was faced with the option of doing the continuation the princess had liked so much, or be __asked to compose said story by the princess herself (be __parted from his dear and lovely head)._

_So the minstrel worked on this for 3 days and 3 nights, living off from nothing more than water (cold ale) and the thought of the princess smiling face (stale bread) and begat a story that seemed to be on the same tenure (equally as lame) as the original one._

_No one really knows if the minstrel managed to get anything in return from the princess, and truthfully, since minstrels are a dime a dozen, no one seemed to care._

_But if the princess was able to smile and not be bored for any amount of time, the minstrel would then smile softly to himself and say "job well done"._

_Plus, he got to keep his head._

**_The scene is based on the "Kaname cuts Sousuke's hair" scene from "Scene 6: Edge of heaven" of FMP:TSR and ties directly into the 6th kiss of this collection entitled "Of keeping secrets."_**

**_Now, all you snickering fools going "this guy is a dork" kindly remove yourself from my lawn and wait patiently for whatever other hair brained, half cooked story I have on the works._**

Eric lo prometido es deuda y te digo por favor dale continuacion a este Chapter, si bien se son OneShot pero por favor hazlo.  
I LOVE THIS CHAPTER  
Please Continue...

**_Como me podria negar? Kaname, espero te haya gustado; fue por ti, y es para ti._**

**_EB, out._**


	12. Kiss 15, Way 17

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: K - 15. (Perfect blue) W - 17. (Five more minutes)**

**Title: Here comes the Rain Again.**

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* * *

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_**A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story.**_

_**Based on the Short story "appointment with love" by S. I. Kishor.**_

_**This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."**_

_**It all snowballed from there**_

_**During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique.**_

_**But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other.**_

_**And we connect to each other deeply.**_

_**Worlds made with both you and me in the center.**_

_**That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)**_

_**

* * *

**_

Twenty before five.

With a sigh, Shinji looked out the train station, frowning as he noticed the perfect blue skies he had seen this morning had been changed into gray melancholic ones over the course of the day, and it seemed like the rain wasn't letting off.

It was one of the usual rainy days in the city of Tokyo-3; it felt cool, and brisk, even if Shinji knew that as soon as the rain would stop, the humidity and warmth would make walking around clothed seem like a chore.

But right now, Shinji simply sighed and let the soothing sound of rain falling and splashing the sidewalk lull him into a sense of calmness that he didn't really feel before checking his cell phone's clock, before he realized that it seemed like time had remained still.

It was still twenty before five.

Sighing once more, Shinji looked at the letter's header, wondering if this was just a show, somebody's idea of a prank, or just another cosmic joke in the never ending series of unfortunate events he called life, unfolding the piece of paper and staring at the note, delicate penmanship that seemed to flow from within the stripped cellulose as if it were a river of black.

For some reason, the letter had been waiting for him in his shoebox, just before school let out. Shinji had walked straight to the locker and opened it to get his normal tennis shoes out before he saw the pink envelope, still fragrant with perfume, fall on the floor while Shinji simply stared at it as if it had been an alien probe; not really sure of what to do, before he felt a presence next to him, turning around to the see Rei Ayanami, staring along with him at the envelope.

"Will you pick it up?" Rei asked quietly, making Shinji gulp and immediately do as he was told, bending at his knees and snatching the envelope, before holding it out to Rei, who simply took it, gave it a cursory glance and handed it back to him.

"It is not addressed to me; You should be the one opening it." The blue-haired girl said in the same velvety soft monotone she always used while Shinji frowned, holding the letter up against the light and trying to catch sight of whatever it was that had been written on the paper it contained, being able to make out words here and there before sighing once more.

"It's probably a mistake; no one would have sent me a letter." Shinji said quietly as he turned the envelope around, making Rei realize there was no name, no anything inside.

"You might be correct; however, the envelope was located inside of your shoe box. That makes it your possession." Rei said with what Shinji could only describe as a bemused tone, not really smiling, or smirking, but you could notice the change in the girl's voice; subtle, like the sound of water moving down a stream; the kind of effortless, natural way a sound progresses, so simple and graceful that one would never know there had been a change of pitch if it weren't for a careful listening.

Shinji looked at Rei again, and swallowed hard, before he caught the corner of the envelope and ripped it open with trembling fingers, blowing into the envelop and extracting the letter, noticing it was written on ruled paper, and the first thing that caught Shinji's surprise was the way the words had been written; ever since he had been left to live with his sensei by his father, Shinji had watched as the old man would spend his afternoons sitting in front of white _Hanshi_ scrolls with a vat of _Sumi_ and practice calligraphy over and over and over.

Shinji would focus on the way his face became beatific, how his arms and wrists and hands would seem to move, almost gliding over the parchments with such simplicity and beauty, the boy would literally spend his afternoons watching this happen, sitting in silence and allured at the way creation slowly took form and shape, with the only sounds coming from the room being the occasional wet scratches the _Fude_ would make when sliding on the surface, or the when his teacher would scrape the _Sumi_ against _Suzuri_, both actions a prelude to his teacher leaving behind a part of his body, mind and soul with each stroke.

"Are you not going to read it?"

Rei's voice brought Shinji back from his contemplation, before he realized something. Ayanami was staring at his face, but her eyes would sometimes look down quickly to the paper in his hand, a mere split of second glance that made Shinji realize something that, in itself, was odd.

Rei Ayanami was curious about what the letter held.

"Sure." Shinji stammered as he carefully unfolded the letter, reading it quickly before he realized that the letter was brimming with feelings; the way the lines were made, wavy, and curved, and the tension of the lines easily noticeable when it came to the feelings within: he could see the way the pen tip had been dragged, pressing, and sweeping at the lines with no outlining or drawing.

As soon as they have been done, Rei had stayed silent, looking at Shinji's back as the boy carefully folded the paper and put it back inside the envelope, before almost reverently placing the letter inside his school bag.

"The letter…" Rei began quietly, making Shinji turn at her with a sad, melancholic look in his eyes. "Do you know who wrote it?"

Shinji opened his mouth, about to say a name before he realized that could never be true; it was nothing but wishful thinking and hoping against hope.

"No, not really."

"Will you go and meet her?" Rei prodded once more, staring at Shinji who looked at her conflicted, almost unsure of what to do or say.

* * *

_That was about thirty minutes ago_, Shinji thought to himself as she checked his cellphone once more, noticing the time.

Fifteen before five.

Shinji looked to his left and then to his right, noticing the way the rain was still falling.

Truth be told, Shinji had always liked the rain; it had a certain element, something ethereal, barely there, present and almost taunting, but always beyond one's grasp. It was something magical, hope abound, rebirth, something the cleansed the heavens above and the earth below.

And now, as Shinji stood in the middle of the train station huddled under an umbrella, he glanced at the node once more, as if to make sure he had gotten the message right.

_Meet me at the Kasuga train station, by the Lawsons._

Shinji looked back and forth once more, this station was a fairly known one within the students of the Tokyo 3 metropolitan middle school, about 10 minutes away, and in the middle of the Hakusan Dori avenue, and sure enough, a lot of familiar faces were there, some of the students baring the familiar middle school uniforms, while others wore the traditional High school ones, tall, dark and strict-looking Prussian collars for boys, feminine and playful sailor suits for girls.

Ten minutes to five.

Shinji began to breath in and out, long, calming gulps of fresh air that would oxygenate and cleanse his body, forcing himself to focus on the here and now, before he, once more, took out the letter and re-read it, feeling once more the sense that had been all encompassing, powerful, yet fleeting.

Because Shinji had never believed that anyone could see into a hiss heart so tenderly, so understandingly. Because the words all seemed to muddle together, bluring onto each other like a work of art so pure and simple yet so abstract and engrossing, he had never had a doubt he would be here, waiting for that girl, even if he felt everyone was staring at him, even if it seemed like the people around him was about to jump and scream and laugh and point their fingers before the quiet, shy boy realized it had all been a joke.

Even if…

_I love you so much and you just don't know it_. Shinji began reading in silence. _Sometimes I get scared to show it. It feels like when you come around me my mouth becomes grid-locked and all the words I want to say just stop._

Shinji frowned, realizing that it felt more like an auto-biographic letter, like someone had looked inside his soul, reaching for the words that lay there before writing them down, feeling how countless other times, his own lips would clutter, because the words would turn into granite and salt, and just couldn't come out.

_Sometimes I want to open up to you and tell you how I feel - I guess I am too scared to open up and be real. _

The letter continued for a few more lines, pleading silent feelings and words that couldn't be said out loud, instead placeholding them on paper, and exchanging the sound of voice for the sight of ink, the cadence of syllables being overridden by the space between the words, and the way the lines would tilt up, or travel down… almost as if whoever had written that had first visualized where each line would start, where each word would stop, and where the symbols would meet before even touching the paper.

Five more minutes to five.

Shinji looked at the clock on top of him, even after seeing in his phone the same time reflected, before he once again lost himself into the penmanship, into the words, the collage of clashing feelings that seemed to erup before he looked up, startled. A girl passed closer to him, and Shinji started after her, following her with his eyes, a small, shy smile almost threatening to break into his lips before he stopped, the corners of his lips moving south ever so slightly when he noticed she was wearing a pair of hair ribbons, but they weren't the little blue ones She had stated she would be wearing to be identified.

Besides, this girl was about 18, and she crossed from the train station into the opposite side of the Lawsons, into the café located in front, the word _velocce_ shining in bright red lights as the rain kept pounding away, making the night sky arrive earlier than anticipated, which in turn began to make the lights of the city begin to glow, slowly, like a thousand eyes blinking gently to be fully awakened in mere minutes.

One minute to five.

Suddenly, Shinji heard the rattling sound of the five o'clock train, before it made its way noisily inside the station, stopping before the doors opened and a sea of people began to pout out of the containing cars, like a great force of nature, moving forth, pushing forward, girls and boys and women and men each talking on the phone and leaving quickly outside, the whooshing sound of their collective voices and conversations changing from a loud, droning sound into a quiet lull, almost like the rain that was beginning to die away, the sounds and the drops falling on his head like a memory long forgotten before two more persons walked out of the last car, walking resolutely, one a few feet behind the other, making Shinji follow them with his eyes to find a sopping wet Asuka Langley Soryu making her way towards him.

Shinji shifted slightly, his brows creased in mild confusion, noting that, even though the redhead was dressed in her usual school uniform, she was instead walking, not minding the drizzle falling as she focused her eyes on the sky.

Even from here, Shinji could count the rivulets of water as they rolled gently down the redhead's neck and onto her clothing, which was thoroughly stuck to her body, and when she finally reached his side, the half American-half Japanese teen slowed, stopping eventually while her eyes remained focused on the clouds above.

She refused to meet his eyes yet again, staring upwards as the rain continued to pound her body. Silence stretched between the two.

Without thinking, Shinji started to move towards her, forgetting to notice that she was wearing no hair ribbons, and as he moved, a small smile curved her lips.

"What are you doing here..?" Asuka asked with a small tone of hostility, clearly not in the mood to talk to him, but clearly in such low spirits that her usual shrilling tone was replaced by a soft tone.

Shinji looked at her but said nothing; he had learned just by watching Asuka's and Kaji's interaction that sometimes, it was wiser to remain quiet with the red head, and remaining quiet was something Shinji had always been good at.

"I... I m-mean…" Shinji stammered, not being able to look at her, but also trying to look at the hordes of people that were still loitering around the station, trying to find the elusive girl with blue ribbons, wondering if…

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out there in the rain." Asuka muttered eventually, turning her attention back to the water drops that were collecting on the tin metal roof on top of them both before she dropped her head after a moment, staring ahead with a thoughtful look on her face; a small, sad smile flickering across her lips before she walked away and outside of the station.

He made one step closer to her. Then he saw her. She was standing almost directly behind Asuka; looking quiet and calm, red ruby eyes staring at him, piercing into his fark blue ones.

Rei Ayanami stood in front of Shinji, in the space where Asuka Soryu had just stood, with her blue hair tied up with twin blue hair ribbons on either side of her head, almost as if they had been a headband.

Despite himself, Shinji realized that Asuka was walking quickly away, feeling as though he was being split in two; so deep his desire to follow the redhead girl, even as he saw her quickly cross the avenue, and enter the café, while Ayanami took another step forth, remaining equally calm and passive, not really saying anything, simply staring at Shinji with her big red eyes.

Shinji understood then that Rei had been the girl to send him the letter, the girl who had been able to read into his soul so easily, that it finally made sense; those feelings he had felt for her, so clear and cut, so deep was his longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned and upheld his own…

And there she stood.

He could see her pale face was gentle and sensible; her red eyes had a warm twinkle.

"Ayanami! You should have told me you were the one who sent me the letter." Shinji began as he walked towards Rei, he smiled softly to the girl whose face never changed, even though when he spoke, Shinji could feel the bitterness of his disappointment.

Rei remained there, staring at him, her face never betraying an emotion before she finally spoke in a soft, quiet tone.

"I do not know what this is all about, Ikari." She answered.

Shinji's smile faltered, before looking at Rei's face for any sign of… anything.

"Y-you sent me the love letter, didn't you?"

Rei shook her head.

"Then why are you wearing the ribbons?" Shinji asked with perplexity.

"Soryu told me I was to wear them." Rei said calmly, as if she were discussing the weather. "She also said that if you asked me to go out with you, I should tell you she is waiting for you in that establishment across the street."

Shinji stared at Rei's face, silently asking her a question before Rei nodded, hearing it as clearly as if the boy had asked it aloud.

"She said it was some kind of test."

* * *

The silence stretched between them again, Asuka's attention once again fixated on the clouds above. After a moment, her lips parted slightly, the quiet dissipating with her words while Asuka held her breath, trying to silence the small gasp that threatened to explode inside her chest. She kept her face low, her red tresses obscuring her face, not allowing Shinji to see her wide eyes, how they were hanging on that small phrase.

Shinji lifted his head and looked straight into Asuka's eyes. She could see a thousand conflicting emotions boiling underneath, just dying for him to let go and let them be free and allow himself to finally feel something other than contempt and despair and resentment and sadness.

Asuka stood there, taking this all in, feeling for once that the tag of bitch was justly deserved on her, because she felt the same way, and because she knew that if she gave him a chance he would prove her wrong on most of her thoughts about boys.

She had felt tempted, she had felt so tempted.

But in the last moment, Asuka had backed down, turning around and walking away, wondering if Shinji would chose right…

And Shinji had stood by his choice; even if she had seen the way the boy had stared at her, even if she had seen the imperceptible way his body had started to move towards her… Shinji had stood his ground, and made a stand, staying behind with Rei.

It was then that Shinji walked up to her with an unreadable expression on his face, hair drenched wet, sticking to his face, silently grabbing Asuka's hand, making the redhead girl yelp in surprise before Shinji, in an uncharacteristic show of spine, pulled her out of the café, not bothering or caring about the people staring at them, walking out and into the alley between the café and the Family Mart, before Asuka finally regained her usual sense of self and snapped her hand free, opening her mouth to start berating Shinji before one look into his eyes made her keep quiet.

They were both wet, drenched by the rain, tired and angry; but most of all, they were both scared.

It was then Asuka realized this was going to be a do or die situation; a final stand.

With hesitation, she raised her face towards Shinji, staring once again deep into his eyes, before she gasped audibly, eyes wide in shock and surprise, blush rising into her cheeks, drenched uniform sticking to her body in an almost undignified way.

He regarded her neutrally, and Asuka could almost swear she could see more than a passing resemblance with Rei: expression empty and vacant, eyes cold and unblinking, almost as if he was tired with the whole world.

For what seemed like a minute they both stood there; Shinji with the same face he had had in the train station, while Asuka just looked at him from the rain. The silence became something physical; a tangible wall between them, one Shinji had built in this moment, one for which Asuka had no means to pass it, other than the one which was what made Asuka who she was herself.

Her indomitable spirit.

In a clear '"appearances be damned'" action, Asuka pushed her lips together, and walked towards Shinji; small, deliberate steps that seemed to echo with the rumble of thunder and the sound of water puddles being stepped in before the rain began to fall again.

Letting a small cry, Asuka made her way to Shinji, standing there, breathing deeply in an out, and catching her breath.

And then just as Shinji was about to ask her what she was doing, just before any sound escaped from his lips, Asuka made the second most important choice in her life.

She decided she had talked more than enough, she had heard more than enough; Asuka had always prided herself of taking actions when actions were needed.

So she did.

Asuka simply grabbed Shinji and pushed him towards the nearest wall, letting water pour down on them both, enveloping his lips with her own, kissing him deeply, giving her all, all the words she couldn't say, all the feelings she had bottled deep within in that kiss.

Both of them now completely drenched, feeling the water trickling down their chins, by their lips, thru their faces, as Shinji's hands slowly found Asuka's own, silently, slowly, deliberately intertwining their fingers with each other, letting the letter he had held in his hand, now a crumpled piece of paper, fall into the ground, touching the water, changing the color from stark white into damp gray, while the ink that held Asuka's feelings slowly began to fade away.

_I know you love me and you have hidden feelings inside too, but sometimes it seems like it is easier for you to express yourself to me than it is from me to you. _

_Shinji, I love you, and know that I will always have hidden feelings for you._

From the entrance to the alleyway, Rei stood there, watching both pilots slowly come to terms with their feelings for each other, while she covered herself with an umbrella, before the rain began to fall again, falling on her head like a memory long forgotten, like a tragedy she never knew existed, while Shinji and Asuka simply kept kissing each other harder, deeper…

As the rain kept falling down, cleansing everything, making everything start anew.

* * *

**AN: like I said before, this was based on the short story "appointment with love" by SI Kishor. This is also a sort of happy birthday for Asuka; may she have many more of these days.**

**As a side note, yes… I'm still here.**


	13. Kiss 28, Way 03

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: K - 28. (Wada Calcium CD3) W - 03. (Shopping)**

**Title: Untitled.**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story._**

**_This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."_**

**_It all snowballed from there_**

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

* * *

Laughter echoed on the streets with a ringing texture, while the giant television set on top of the department store began to boom with the sound of two boots, one red, one blue tapping simultaneously against the floor before the light-toned ringing of Christmas bells began to march in a happy, joyful melody and two pretty girls dressed appropriately in Santa outfits, one red, one blue jumped into the stage and began to sing happily.

"This is stupid." Asuka muttered to herself as she looked left and right, noticing with a bit of bitterness and sadness there weren't many places open, all of them were actually closing up, the clerks and boys and girls inside doing so earnestly, diligently as they were getting ready to end the half a day tradition of working on this day before going off to their families, off to enjoy the holidays, while the redhead watched them with a little bit of envy, and a small amount of sadness behind her bright blue eyes as she kept walking, hearing the conversations mixing, overlapping, names and wishes and laughter and sounds converging, collapsing and convexing everything into a happy cacophony of sounds that made Asuka feel even more vulnerable to the seasons and the memories, even as she held her hands inside the pockets of her coat, walking with her face down as another gust of chilly air blew against her, making the ends of her scarf fly around with her red hair before she finally stopped on a corner, looking up at the bright tree, green and shiny but artificial and fake, like everything in this country she had seen so far.

Asuka looked at the streets once more, noticing that now the volume of people had dramatically dropped, from being so packed it resembled a living sea of people, so packed one could hardly walk to it just being a trickle of pedestrians, most already making their way to the train stations or catching whichever other form of transportation they could find, before Asuka once again walked out of the corner she had kept to herself, walking back aimlessly, without a clear destination until she reached a bench near the fountain by the tree she had just passed, sitting and folding her arms to her chest to keep warm as the condensation of her breath escaped from between her lips.

She never knew how long she stayed there, before another figure walked up to her and sat down, the wooden planks creaking heavily at the shifting of the other occupant's weight.

"This isn't a night for someone like you to be alone."

Asuka almost audibly rolled her eyes as she groaned inwardly, not turning around, letting the living cascade that was her hair fall on top of her, coating her face as she spoke in a tired but angry tone.

"I'm not looking for a date, so you can go and try to pick up some other bimbo down the street."

The rumbling laughter behind her made the redhead snap up her head, turning sharply around to come face to face with an obese man staring at her with a twinkle in his eye, making Asuka frown as she began to slowly speak his name.

"Santa..?"

And then, her alarm clock sounded.

* * *

"Hey kids, are you ready for today?" Misato said happily, bouncing like a little girl which was a shocking contrast in itself, apart from the fact that she was still dressed in her usual sleeping getup of boxer shorts and a long, short-sleeved shirt.

"Today? What's so special about today?" Shinji asked while trying really hard not to stare at his guardian's body, and how her boxer shorts were hiking up just so with the way Misato was standing on her tip-toes trying to reach for the cereal box.

"Do you need to get closer to get a better look, perv?" Asuka asked Shinji in an angry whisper, knowing full well that if she asked the same question aloud, Shinji's embarrassment would be followed up by Misato teasing him, which would then turn into the purple-haired woman teasing her.

And Asuka Langley Soryu was in no mood to be teased or made fun of right now.

"Today? Why, it's Christmas, of course!" Misato said still without turning, using the English name of the festivity, her natural Japanese accent making the word come out thick and slow, like amber or syrup, which made Asuka growl before she spoke once more, as she began to quickly and quietly eat her breakfast, ignoring Misato's tease, and Shinji's blustering excuses, and Pen^2's excited warks, before finally having enough, slamming her hands on the table and dragging her chair sharply against the floor, screeching sounds that seemed to quench the otherwise happy morning making her roommates turn to the redhead as she walked to the sink and placed her plates inside, making them clatter nosily before she walked away towards the door.

"Uhh… is something wrong Asuk–"

Asuka got up and walked to the door, not even letting Misato finish saying her name before she turned her head a little to the side, glaring at them both over her shoulder before she finally spoke.

"It's Christmas, Misato." She said coldly. "Not Ku-Ri-Su-Ma-Su."

And with that, Asuka left.

Shinji looked at the space Asuka had just left vacant with a distant look, opening his mouth as if trying to stop her even as the door had already closed behind the redhead, making the blue-eyed boy turn to Misato who simply gave Shinji a small smile and a shrug.

"Want to help me put up the tree?" Misato asked while trying to maintain a happy face, even if inside, her own face seemed to be a mirror image of Shinji's own concern, while they both began to take out the small artificial tree out of the closet, while Shinji helped as much as he could, pulling out bags and boxes with tinsel and garnishes that were probably from last year's, and knowing Misato, she would go to the store shortly to buy new things to put.

Both worked in silence, talking here and there with small chuckles and polite laughs but one could easily tell it felt forced, contrived.

"Hey, I know! Why don't you come with me so we can buy new things for the tree?" Misato asked suddenly, making Shinji blink slowly, staring up at her while Misato kept putting on tinsels and spheres and lights and ornaments before turning to Shinji with a big, easy smile. "We can go and buy some more things for the tree and the house, and even start buying the things for dinner!"

Shinji nodded with the same small smile he had showed before; a sad smile of sorts, the kind of smile one flashes when you force yourself to smile because others expect it from you, simply going through the motions as he and Misato left her apartment, walking the small distance towards the nearest Family Mart, before they both went inside and instantly made a bee-line for the Christmas presents and as the colorful Christmas carols kept playing over and over overhead in bright, happy notes, lights shining bright overhead, blinking in and out while nearby little plush dolls were singing in squeaky high voices.

But while the music and lights weren't enough to make Shinji smile, Misato could only stare in amazement at the display of Christmas presents that were in front of her; there were packages with assortments of cookies, and coffee; salad oils and fruit juices, canned seafood, before one particular pack caught her eyes, grinning mischievously as she pulled it out and showed to Shinji.

"For your dad."

"Wada Calcium… CD3? I don't think he'd like those." Shinji said as confusion slowly melted into perplexity as he looked from Misato to the packaged box claiming to have a full year's supply, claiming it was the needed supplement to make bones strong and healthy, encouraging calcification and bone cell growth, as well as promoting the production of vitamin C for the development and maintenance of scar tissue, blood vessels, and cartilage. "Maybe we should give it to Rei; she's still taking all those pills…"

"Ok, so maybe he'll see through my ruse altogether. Maybe we can give those to Asuka instead!" Misato giggled before turning around to the displays that contained a plethora of items like small rolled hams and cheeses, toiletries and candies as well as a wide variety of product packs like a 20-piece soap package, while Shinji simply shook his head, giving Misato a small smile as they waited patiently in line, before he heard Misato uttering a small whimper, like surprise and yearning combined into a sharp intake of air.

"Shinji~" Misato said softly, elongating the last syllable of the boy's name as she tugged at his shirt, making Shinji turn to see what the older woman had seen.

"Misato, you're drooling." Shinji said dryly as he saw Misato's current object of attraction; a 15-can beer package which made the mauve-haired woman's eyes twinkle and mouth hang open, lips smacking as if she could just taste the flavor of Kirin while Shinji rolled his eyes, ignoring Misato's whimpers and silent, pleading looks for Shinji to loan her some money, who simply ignored her before they paid and then made their way back home where they began to gather the various decorations, pulling out lights and shiny flecks and tinsel and various other ornaments.

"Why was Asuka so angry?" Shinji asked quietly after a while, not looking up at Misato turned back at him with a conflicted look in her face, sighing, before shrugging slowly, focusing on the twinkling lights being wrapped around the veranda bars.

"She just has a very rough Christmas, Shinji… you know that…" Misato whispered quietly, looking down. "Her mother…"

Shinji nodded, knowing all too well how Asuka must be feeling, because he was in the same position.

"I just wanted to give you two a chance to have a nice Christmas." Misato said softly, almost as if she wanted only herself to hear that, before Shinji looked up and gave her two things; the small, plastic star filled with lights that should go on top of the tree and a small, but honest, open smile, a little unsure here and there, but still a smile nonetheless.

"I know…" Misato said, accepting the star and winking at Shinji who blushed almost on the spot and looked away with a small squeak. "Do you know the story of Christmas?"

"It's like Monk Hoeiosho, right?" Shinji said after thinking for a while, making Misato utter a smile and ruffle his hair.

"Not quite, kiddo… that's for Santa Claus. The story of Christmas is slightly more complicated than that." Misato said as she grabbed some loose silvery flakes form the tinsel, cupping them in her hand and blowing softly into them, making them fly out, twinkling and falling ever so slowly while Shinji stared at it with eyes shiny and wide, mouth open in awe and surpirse, before a small contended smile escaped from his lips.

"It's just like snow!"

"Yes, but this is more of a setting." Misato began quietly as she turned the little tree, pushing it back and beckoning Shinji to come sit next to her as she turned on the TV, which made Pen^2 look outside of his fridge and waddle up to his owner, plopping down on his feathery tummy and leaning his beak on Misato's knee.

"A long time ago in a place very, very far from here, a young lady and her husband were traveling." Misato began while Shinji nodded, paying attention while still finishing putting the lights on the tree. "Now, the husband was kind of poor, and the lady was about to give birth, and they were asking people to let them stay the night in their houses, and every time they did, people would tell them no."

Shinji smiled, closing his eyes, for some reason imagining the lady had short brown hair and was somewhat of a ditz, but still meant well and was kind and gentle, while her husband would have a stern face and will talk like he was always giving orders, or smile like he knew something you didn't know; he would have a jaw-line beard and a stern grimace and the lady would bicker and tell him he should learn how to smile more.

But when he wasn't looking, she would blush and look at him with such adoration, and he would look back at her in a way that would melt the hard lines of his face away, leaving in them both only warm soft eyes.

"Just like Dad." Shinji said, making Misato look at the boy while giggling to herself.

"Not really, Shinji… these two people were giving birth to the savior of mankind."

* * *

Asuka grumbled to herself as she looked at the night sky, lying on her back on the roof of Misato's apartment building.

She hadn't meant to act nasty, but the season and the month and the dates were just getting to her and she…

"I miss you mama." Asuka muttered quietly as she felt her eyes tearing up, before she angrily shook her head and willed herself _not_ to cry, because crying was a sign a weakness, and because of that, Asuka had vowed to herself she would never show weakness, or be taken advantage of.

Because Asuka believed she could not allow herself to be vulnerable; because not allowing herself to cry was her way of proving she was strong and could handle what life handed her.

Because she needed to be strong.

So, because of that, she would not let herself cry.

But right now, today, Asuka felt an ache in her heart; it had started like a small, little pressure in the morning when she woke up, before it started growing, and pretty soon, it was like walking around with a weigh glued to her body; feeling heavy and sluggish, like everything took twice as much energy and thrice as much will to happen.

It was not something that Asuka had been conscious of at first, since everything had been subtle, but lately, Asuka had began to notice how her surroundings took on a different tone at certain times.

At night, the shadows seemed more somber, and in the mornings the sunlight felt flat and even annoying. The walks she and Shinji would take back from school progressively started to feel more like a chore, like something that was needed to be done instead of the small amount of joy walking home always brought the redhead, even if she had never told Shinji so.

And just lately, there were moments during late afternoon when a kind of panic and anxiety seemed to loom over her.

It felt like she was trapped in amber, watching time and people slowly waste away and all that she could feel was sadness and a subtle pain that seemed to seep inside her bones.

And she felt tired… so very tired.

Sighing, Asuka closed her eyes, and slowly drifted off to sleep, before her mind began to dwell back to a few days…

It had been warm, one of those weird pockets of warmth that came before the rain had made itself present, coating the city with a blanket of coldness that no one had been ready for; making Misato and Shinji and herself open up boxes of forgotten clothes, pulling out coats and sweaters and leggings to ward themselves.

But right then, Asuka would still remember the oppressive warmth vividly through the eye of her mind, feeling so real, so vivid and true she could almost feel the freezing vapor hit her face like a cold curtain when she had opened up the freezer door as soon as she and Shinji had gotten back from school; Shinji going straight to his room to take off his uniform and change into his normal lounging clothes while Asuka grabbed a popsicle, instantly feeling some sort or relief from the oppressing heat that had been feeling before going to her room to change as well, walking back to the living room and sitting on her favorite spot in the couch.

Shinji had walked out, and Asuka was giggling as the boy did the same thing she had done before; opening the door and closing his eyes and letting out a small, whimpered murmur of enjoyment as he savored the moment, letting the coldness touch his sweaty skin while his light, sleeveless shirt and shorts stuck to his body, before remembering why he was there, and began groping around the frozen fish that Misato bought to feed her pet penguin.

Asuka could clearly remember the goofy smile Shinji had on his face; summer break was here, finally, and while it might meant that the heat wave was going to be a daily situation and that he would be forced to wear shorts and shirts, something Asuka clearly knew Shinji despised due to his skinny, scrawny frame…

But it also meant no more classes, no more homework or exams, no more standing and bowing and sitting.

It meant Asuka was free to lounge around the apartment, and watch TV, or play videogames, or…

_Uh oh…_ Asuka thought to herself, noticing how Shinji was frowning, as if he had noticed that what he had been rummaging around for inside the freezer wasn't there. He felt around again, and came out empty handed again, and that was when he leaned into the freezer and looked around, noticing the empty box inside.

Just as Asuka was unwrapping the popsicle Shinji had just been looking for, making the boy turn around to the soft sound of a wrapper being torn, seeing Asuka sitting in the bean chair in front of the TV, dressed in her usual light blue tank top and blue/white shorts. Her legs were crossed, and he could see her jiggling her top foot, a small laughter and giggle would sometimes come from within her, and she would afterwards go back to making soft humming sounds, followed by a low popping noise.

She would smack her lips and then 'hmm' a song openmouthed as she picked a magazine that was next to her, looking at it, flipping the pages before looking up again and watching the TV.

"_Hey, is that the last popsicle_?" Shinji asked as he made his way to the beanbag chair, as Asuka looked back from her place, the icicle in her mouth, a deep blue hanging haphazardly as she held onto it and her mouth gave it another lick.

"_I don't know_…" She answered back shrugging. "_I guess_."

"_B-but you know that is my favorite_."

"_Sorry_." Asuka said simply, shrugging her shoulders but not even bothering to turn around.

Shinji's face and eyes began to water as if this had been what he had been looking for the whole time, words already coming out of his mouth in bubbling phrases, mentioning how this was his last popsicle, and how he really liked the flavor, making Asuka roll her eyes, but slowly try to see what was so good about this frozen treat.

Because Asuka had seen Shinji's face every time he had one, how he would close his eyes, and blissfully enjoy it, as if were a little bit of heaven, something elusive, something meant to be for him and him alone, and it piqued Asuka's curiosity.

And now that she tasted it, she could understand it… it tasted like one of her lip gloss, very berries; it tasted of strawberries and blueberries and raspberries and blackberries all rolled in one; it tasted to her like summer, those summers that felt so long and yet so close she would spend in Germany with mama, and the times she would spend with her in the backyard of their house, picking berries to make jam and Rote Grütze…

It tasted of nostalgia: of hands held, and fingers intertwined, feeling her mother's long, delicate fingers on top of her head, Kyoko's own hair as dark as the bark of the trees while Asuka would look up holding onto her sun hat, smiling and giggling and it ached.

It hurt in ways she couldn't understand, because it hurt to think of her mom and think of their house.

And for some reason, the hurt was mirrored in Shinji's eyes.

And Asuka was rolling her eyes hard at him, while Shinji's head was held low, because her lips were puckering because of the sugar not the berries that were still dangling in her tongue and lips, making the taste cloud her, envelop her, making it harder and harder to stop herself from thinking and leaning forth, even as her mouth began to move and she could only stare at Shinji's face.

Shinji looked up form the way he was staring at his feet, pathetically and lost in love, before his senses began to talk to him…

Before his eyes told him Asuka's eyes were a brighter blue than he could imagine…

Before his ears told him she was speaking in a very small, whispered, soft voice.

"_So all you want is a taste_?"

Before his nose smelled the bitter sweet smell of very berries, and his lips felt the soft pressure of Asuka's lips on his, a very small, innocent, childish peck even as she was touching the back of his neck, running her fingers through the soft hair of the nape of his neck…

Before he blinked quickly, even as Asuka was sitting back again in the beanbag chair, staring at the TV while Shinji's tongue darted out to unconsciously lick his lips, tasting the very berries from the popsicle on his lips, sweet and sour and sugary and bitter and just like he always thought Asuka would taste.

Asuka giggled softly to herself as she remembered Shinji's dazed look; how he looked like walking in a straight line was a superhuman effort to him, as he began to slowly make his way to the front door.

"_I'm gonna go to the corner shop_." He half said, half stated, but whispered all along, as if saying it in a bigger volume would break the spell he was in. "_I need to buy groceries anyway_."

"_A'ight_." Asuka said absentmindedly, still enjoying Shinji's last popsicle before she turned around, letting a startled cry. "_Oh Shinji!_"

Shinji looked up, frowning when he caught sight of Asuka's smirk.

"_Could you bring me some chips and a tea? You know the kind I want_."

Shinji's frown held for a second, before he saw Asuka's eyes were tingling, and her tongue was sneaking out to lick her lips, making the boy blush deeply as he looked away quickly, nodding before he walked out.

And as she heard the door close with a soft 'whoosh', Asuka turned as the TV erupted in a fit of studio laughter, smiling.

Just as the sound of a rustling bag being opened and a bottle cap being twisted and opened made her open her eyes and look up to her side, as Shinji walked next to her and silently placed a bag of chips and a bottle of tea next to her, and sat next to the redhead's body, staring out the at the bluish-indigo colored sky.

Asuka smiled as she noticed the proffered offerings were just the brand she liked.

"Hey…" Shinji began in a small, unsure way as Asuka simply got up and picked up the bag of chips, eating them slowly before taking a gulp from the tea bottle.

"How angry is Misato?" Asuka asked after a long stretch of silence, looking down and letting her hair coat her face, before Shinji sighed and looked up, shrugging.

"Not **that** angry. I think she actually expected you to be angry this time of the year, what with everything that has happened…" Shinji said softly, quietly, gently; sounding like a soft gust of wind blowing against a hill, like time trying to soothe, like sounds trying to heal. "You should tell her you're sorry anyway…"

Asuka's wry smile was all the confirmation Shinji needed that was as far away from the redhead's mind as anything, before she ate another chip, this one more noisily, almost as if the way she ate the snacks was a barometer to how she was feeling; the louder she munched, the more upbeat she felt.

"Yeah well… it'll be a cold day in hell when I say I'm sorry." Asuka said boastfully, while Shinji simply sighed and got up, picking up the brown paper bag and taking it with him.

"Hey wait! Where are you going?"

"Home…" Shinji said simply, without turning around before Asuka finished her chips and got up with a jump, running after Shinji, instantly catching up to him and grabbing the bag he held dearly and close to his chest.

"What'cha carrying there?"

Shinji paled visibly as he heard Asuka's soft question, teasing him as she looked over his shoulder, making the boy hug the bag closer to his chest as he tried to get away.

"N-Nothing! I just got something for myself!" Shinji said as Asuka's hands seemed to encircle his frame, grabbing a hold of his own hands clutching the paper bag while slowly pressing her body against Shinji's own, a small, playful smile stretching on her lips.

"C'mon… you can tell me…" Asuka said gently, softly, while Shinji sighed knowing full well the battle had been lost the minute Asuka had decided to focus her attention on him, before he let her open the bag greedily, staring into it and extracting a frozen popsicle, the kind he liked, the flavor he loved…

The type she and Shinji had enjoyed back then.

Time stretched for a moment, and the silence made it something visible and palpable, before Shinji began in a soft whisper, repeating the words Misato had told him before she had smiled at him, encouraging the boy to go after Asuka.

"Hey, did you know…" Shinji began in a small, unsure voice, making Asuka look up from the bag into his blue eyes, noticing the way he was blushing and looking away.

"What?" The redhead said softly, unconsciously mirroring Shinji's tone of voice, taking a small, dainty step closer to him without her knowing while Shinji did the same, standing in front of her, and fidgeting, trembling ever so slightly as he spoke again.

"Make a wish."

"Huh? Wh-why?" Asuka's asked loudly, as she looked at Shinji with questioning eyes and his lips mirrored the same uncertainty that was showed in his eyes, before the boy smiled at her with his usual smile; shy and small, like a puppy unsure of its surroundings while still trying to play.

"Close your eyes." Shinji said as he grabbed the popsicle, catching a little bit of the icicles in the wrapper and smearing the frozen water on Asuka's nose. "Imagine this is a snowflake falling on your face…"

And Shinji's voice made Asuka start hearing Misato's voice as he told her their purple-haired guardian's favorite Christmas story, the same she had told Asuka so long ago when they had been in Germany.

"_Feel as they melt away when touching your cheeks… smell the snow, hear it crunching under your soles…"_

"If you close your eyes and make a wish during the first snow of Christmas Eve, and the snow keeps falling…"

"Your wish will come true." Asuka finished Shinji's sentence, before she opened her eyes, smiling at him while Shinji smiled back, as both turned up to look at the twinkling stars up above them, and the wind rustled and flowed, sounding like the childish laughter of a million happy children, making the silent night seem all the more serene and peaceful, before Shinji turned to Asuka, looking at her happy, smiling face and quickly looking away as he tried to fight the sudden warmth spreading through his cheeks and nose.

"So what did you wish for?" The brown haired boy asked finally, bringing Asuka out of her reverie, making the redhead look at shinji, before she quickly shurgged, but now her face was sporting a small smile as she leaned quickly over and kissed Shinji's cheek.

"If I tell you, the wish won't come true." She said with a ringing tone in her voice, making Shinji look at her with wide blue eyes, dark and shy against her own blue eyes; bright and merry, before they both stayed like that, in silence; comfortable… homely, the kind of silence only being comfortable with each other can achieve, the kind where not a word is needed to explain to the other how you feel, because they already knew.

They simply knew.

And just like that, in silence, Asuka and Shinji got up after a while, and made their way back to Misato's apartment, and walked in, before the mauve-haired woman began once again with her smiles and teases, and Pen^2 began warking and waddling around, and Shinji and Asuka shared a small smile amongst themselves as they began to put up the rest of the Christmas decorations up.

* * *

"Glub…glub…GLUB…YEEEE-HAWW! This is the way to start the morning!"

Shinji, Asuka and Pen^2 continued eating without bothering to look at the not-quite-buzzing-but-getting-there Misato as she finished downing her third beer in less than 30 minutes, before she proceeded to eat what was on her plate at an alarming rate.

"So, kids," Misato began in between mouthfuls, slurping noisily the noodles on her plate. "Vacation time, finally?"

Asuka finished eating before replying. "Why? Do you have something else in mind besides hanging out here, getting beaten by me in the videogames?"

Misato blinked, trying to come up with a retort before remembering last night Asuka had won with a 56-3 running and instead decided to change tactics.

"Actually, I was gonna propose that we head somewhere within the city; it's been too quiet and I know I need some relaxing. Shinji?"

Shinji looked up from his plate, smiling a small smile. "I was planning on going to the arcades with Toji and Kensuke and just, hang out."

"Hang out?" Misato smiled at him the smile of a cat in front of a tasty plate of milk. "Is that how they are referring now to pick up cute girls?"

Shinji blushed, stammering to tell Misato it wasn't like that before the major switched sight to the next victim. "And what about you Asuka? Planning on trying to impress the boys?"

"I'm not interested in boys Misato, and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah… Kaji is the blah, blah, blah…" Misato weaved dismissively at Asuka as the redhead squeaked in a very unladylike fashion, a full blush coloring her face while Misato got up and pulled another beer form the refrigerator handing on to Pen^2 who warked demanding a drink before the bird extracted one for herself.

"Anyway, I was thinking on hitting this new mall; it has tons of shops and it even has a hot bath on it." Misato smiled sweetly at the red head and at Shinji. "So, wanna come? It'll be fun~"

"What? What about all those beer you just drank!? Why the heck would you willingly put me and the dummy here in peril like that!?" Asuka asked lividly, while Shinji blushed and kept looking down, before mumbling something about 'cleaning up', as the boy quickly picked up the plates and everything and made his way to the kitchen sink.

"What are you talking about? I'm not drunk." Misato said giggling as she ruffled Asuka's red mop of hair, making the girl growl under her breath before she slapped her guardians hands away.

"Of course you are! You just drank like 3 beers in record time!"

"Oh! Pffft~! They're light… I need three to feel like I've drank a regular one." Misato said as she waved her hand derisively, giving Asuka a wide smile making the redhead roll her eyes just as Shinji did the same while he was scrubbing away at the plates.

"So? What do you say?" Misato said gently, making Shinji and Asuka look at each other; it wasn't very common for Misato to offer driving them, because it meant she had to drive and **that **clashed with her normal routine of drinking placidly in her apartment, but both Shinji and Asuka simply nodded before they all got ready, and got inside Misato's little blue car driving to this new place.

Shinji and Asuka had dozed off during the ride, waking up when Misato shook their shoulders, smiling at them before they both blinked and frowned, looking at each other as they realized where they were, their faces quickly going from confusion to comprehension to a huge big grin and smile as they all but ran inside, dodging people right and left, before they finally arrived to the line delimiting the access site, even as familiar faces made their ways out to greet them.

Shinji squealed happily before he ran full force to where Rei was, hugging her tightly, making the shy, quiet and soft spoken girl blush before her hands slowly gave Shinji back the hug he was giving her, even as Yui and Gendo descended on their son and Yui began to dot at him, while Gendo tried, and failed to keep a stern face, even as the corners of his lips would curve upwardly in a small smirk.

"Mama!"

But Asuka was the one who screamed the loudest. As she ran to the legs of her mother, not even letting Kyoko let go of her bags as she small redhead girl hugged her tightly, a few tears already starting to form on her eyes, while Misato saw all this from a few meters behind, glad that the kids' family had been able to come back in time for Christmas.

Just as the purple haired sitter was about to walk towards the other adults who were still talking with their daughters and sons, her cell phone began to vibrate, making her pull it out and open it quickly, swiftly placing it against her ear, already knowing who it was.

"Hey Kaji, merry Christmas."

"_Hey 'Sato_." Kaji said warmly in the other line. "_Merry Christmas to you too… have the Ikari's and Mrs. Soryu arrived_ _already_?"

"Yeah." Misato said as Asuka began to talk quickly with her mom, the little redhead's hands waving around, gesticulating as she began to tell her mother, who was and older, more mature version of her 10 year old self, how well she had done at school, as well as every other small detail that had transpired while Kyoko had been away. Meanwhile Shinji kept holding onto Rei's hand, talking to his sister and his mom, both of which stared at him: Rei with a calm, and somewhat bemused face, while Yui's was warm and loving, the way a mother's should be.

"_Well, I have everything ready for them here… you can come by when you want to_."

And as Misato ended the call, all she could hear was the soft, choral voices of the background music in the airport, intermixing with the people who were here to greet their loved ones making the trip to Tokyo for Christmas Eve.

* * *

**_AN: another X-mas one; a couple of thanks go to SL4 and Maj for their assistance pre reading. This chapter is one of those that may be simple to me, but might be confusing to others, so... the ending of the story is Asuka and Shinji, who are 10 years old, going to receive their family (Yui and Gendo and Rei for Shinji, Kyoko for Asuka) at the airport; no over the top theatrics or waff, just two kids who were waiting for their parents to show up. The kiss comes from a small one page four-panel comic about Asuka taking Shinji's last lolipop from Haru Akebono, a.k.a. Monkey's Taste, translated by some loser over at .  
_**

**_Anyway, I hope this counts as a Christmas (or Kwanzaa, or Hanukkah, or whatever) present of sorts to some of you; hope you all liked and enjoyed it, and hope you're having a great time with your family. Season's greetings, and a happy new year._**

**_EB, out!  
_**


	14. Kiss 12, Way 01

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: K - 12. (In a good mood) W - 01. (Chocolate)**

**Title: _Honmei_.**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story._**

**_This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."_**

**_It all snowballed from there._**

**_

* * *

_**

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

* * *

"Explain to me again why are we doing this?"

Hikari rolled her eyes, but her smile never left her lips; she had grown used to Asuka whining, using that overly nasal tone of voice she always liked using to convey annoyance and boredom in the only way the redhead could deliver it, but right now, Hikari knew that if she turned around, she would catch Asuka sporting a full body blush, making her cheeks seem all the more rosier and making a striking contrast against the German's normally peaches-and-cream-colored skin.

"Well… many women give chocolates to all their male friends out of obligation."

"That's retarded." Asuka shot back as she looked at several boxes of chocolates, squared and circled and shaped in the form of hearts with lace and tinsel, all of them in girly colors such as red and white and pink. "So what are we doing here?"

"Well, as class representative it's my obligation to give out a chocolate to each and every male in our class; a boy's popularity is measured by how many chocolates they receive." Hikari said as she grabbed a small bag with assorted pieces of chocolate, checking the brand and the type before smiling and placing it with some other groceries she had picked.

"So what's that about?" Asuka asked disdainfully as she turned to a group of older girls, probably High school seniors, judging by their uniforms as the three of them grabbed some boxes and chatted amongst themselves in soft, melodious tones while Hikari smiled at a giant Hershey's Kiss.

"Well, the amount of chocolate received is a touchy issue for any boy, and even grown men." Hikari said while picking another bag, examining its contents critically and then putting it back. "And they'll only say how much chocolate they got after making sure the amount is never made public."

"That sounds even lamer." Asuka grumbled crossing her arms and looking like a petulant child while Hikari let out a long suffered sigh and turned to the redhead, eyes narrowing as she looked at her friend, wondering how to go around and say it in a way the foreigner could understand.

"Look, when you went to school in Germany didn't anyone ever give you any candy or cards or something during Valentine's day?"

"Yeah, lots of times" Asuka answered after a moment of silence and looking away, not sure of why she had lied to Hikari about her schooling; having graduated from university at an early age, being called a child prodigy, a genius in her own right wasn't something Asuka would normally consider something to be ashamed of, or something to be kept a secret from her best friend.

And yet…

"Well, this is just the same! Imagine the face of the boy or girl who never got a Valentine's Day card, or candy! It's the same thing for boys and chocolate." Hikari said as she nodded to herself, a self-satisfied smile gracing her lips while the pigtailed girl nodded.

"Ok, so what about all these ingredients to make chocolate?" Asuka said as she picked up the chocolate and eggs and butter and milk, staring at Hikari whose face became a bright shade of red as she squeaked like a mouse getting caught by a predator, making Asuka give her friend a small smile growing incipient on her lips.

"W-well… I th-think that buying chocolate for Valentine's day is not enough; I like making it, you know… putting my heart and soul and prepare it by myself."

"Heart and soul huh?" Asuka repeated softly as she held another box, different, yet the same as the other, same color hue, same chocolate contents, same intention clearly etched on the whole package, before she turned to Hikari, a charming, mischievous smile playing on her lips, making Hikari's own smile slowly fade away, disappearing when Asuka spoke.

"So, are you gonna make it for a special someone?"

"Huh?" Hikari said swiftly, turning to look at Asuka, noticing how the redhead bowed her head to the side, looking like a playful kitten about to pounce.

"Come on, Hikari, don't play coy." Asuka said as they both began to make a line to pay for the contents in the small basket, coming at the cashier, ringing their total while Hikari extracted her pocketbook from inside her own leather carrier, counting carefully and giving the exact amount to the older girl who had a very big, very wide, very bright but ultimately very fake smile on her lips, the kind of smile one puts on their face because they are paid to do so, ordered to do so, like an artificial flower, pretty and eye catching, but devoid of texture, and slippery and glassy to the touch.

"I-I'm not! Honestly!" the class rep stammered while both girls exited the store, walking towards the alley and then following the small distance that separated them from Hikari's house, reaching the place quickly and stepping inside.

"So you're not planning on making chocolate for a certain idiot who you have set your eyes on?"

To say that Hikari blushed would be an understatement: the freckles on the pigtailed girl's cheeks were more prominently showed due to the contrasting color of her skin, now a bright red, lips quivering nervously, almost as if they she were about to cry.

"Asuka! Knock it off!" Hikari half pleaded, half ordered her friend, making Asuka giggle before she nodded.

"Ok, Ok! I won't tease you anymore."

Hikari nodded while she took of her shoes and put on her slippers, putting the bags on the table as Asuka put on an extra pair of slippers herself while Hikari walked towards the kitchen, pulling out pans and pots to begin cooking.

For a long time, none of them said a word, the silence feeling like a heavy curtain, creeping on them both while Hikari continued measuring and grinding the coca, pulverizing it into a fine dust before slowly she began to mix in the cocoa and milk and eggs slowly, humming softly to herself while Asuka simply watched from the table, fidgeting and biting down on her lip, as if she were pondering what to do or say before finally, the redhead spoke, making the pigtailed girl look up.

"Hey Hikari…"

Hikari stared at Asuka for a long time without saying anything, the only sound coming from her actions as she continued to beat together everything into a mixing bowl, making Asuka look away, not really saying anything, or making any movement but Hikari knew this was the redhead's way of accepting it silently, causing the freckled girl to sigh and put the bowl down.

"I uh… I need your help…"

"What happened?"

* * *

"Ready to go ho –"

The words died in Shinji lips while Asuka rose from her chair after putting her books and pencil case inside her leather carrier before flinging it over her shoulder, flipping her hair in the process as she turned around, walking towards the door with slow, deliberate steps as she spoke.

"I'm going to be hanging out with Hikari for the afternoon."

Shinji's barely-there smile seemed to vanish, like someone blowing out smoke, wispy but tangible one second, only to slowly grow thin and disappear altogether in the blink of an eye.

"Oh." The boy said as he frowned and continued packing his bag before walking after the redhead a few feet behind, already knowing that Asuka was in one of her moods and distance was a necessary precaution if he wanted to avoid incurring the wrath of the redhead.

"Yeah…" Asuka continued as she exited the room, followed by Shinji, walking down the rapidly deserting halls "So just… run along to Misato's and make sure she's not home when you start to go through her underwear drawer."

This made Shinji yelp, shivering, trembling and blushing as he tried to recover from that mental picture.

"Ah! I'd… I me-mean I would never…" The boy stopped, taking a few deep, calming gulps of fresh air before he tried again, speaking in a soft, barely heard tone, his voice laced with a quiet dignity that only Shinji Ikari could muster.

"I would never try to steal Misato's underwear."

"Oh, so then you'd be going after mine?" Asuka said in a quick retaliation, turning around and leveling Shinji with an iridescent gaze from her bright blue eyes that made Shinji feel like, if this were one of those countless animated series Kensuke and Toji were so fond of, he was being reduced to cinder and ash on the spot.

"N-no! I mean, I would never go after your underwear!"

"Why's that!? Don't you think I'm not cute enough?"

"N-no!" Shinji squealed quickly, before the look in Asuka's eye made it obvious this was a very bad choice of answer, making the brown-haired, blue-eyed boy hurry to change it as quickly as possible. "I mean yes! You are cute!"

"So you WOULD go after my underwear then!"

Shinji stayed there, quiet, before finally realizing Asuka had been toying with him all along, but there had been a slight difference.

Today, Shinji hadn't been in the mood for the red-head's teasing games.

Today, Shinji hadn't been in the mood for Asuka's constant bickering, the snap-crackle-and pop routine they both knew so well, both teens seemed to slide effortlessly into it, like a familiar scene being played, improvisation and chemistry taking them to familiar places that felt different at the same time; as if the whole world had been a stage for them and only them and the director that had put them together had taken all of the little nuances and things that made them themselves into account, making both teens perform the same roles over and over, something that, if truth be told, they both liked most of the time.

But not this particular time.

Asuka stopped, looking at Shinji's face, at how his hand seemed to close and open itself, as if he were squeezing an imaginary ball in his fist, before she sighed and shrugged, turning around, boredom quickly replacing the mischievous look in her face from before.

"God, you're such a kid sometimes Shinji, lighten up! No wonder you probably won't get any chocolate tomorrow."

That was Asuka's typical attack; go straight for the jugular, spare no one. She had always had that deportment about herself; always the one to deliver the first, preemptive blow, or always the one to finish it with a second, quick placed one; but fighting with Asuka was always something that felt more like a snake biting at you, lightning fast, in a blink of an eye; she could go from happy, smiling cute foreign girl to angry, shrieking _gaijin_-banshee before anyone knew what had happened, which left Shinji, Misato and almost everyone who knew the redhead, but mostly Shinji and Misato, staring at the red-head's back, as Asuka swung her hips with each step she took when she was angry and strutting, hand in her hip and the other holding her leather briefcase still.

Before something made Shinji speak up.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch?"

They were feet apart, but the words felt like they had been whispered against Asuka's ear, making the redhead stop dead in her track, turning around slowly as she looked at Shinji who held his head and eyes straight ahead, trembling a little, like a young tree, barely a twig with tender, fresh roots in the ground trying to brave an incoming storm, but firmly planted against the ground, before he managed to look at Asuka's face.

It was like her normal face, maybe a bit surprised from Shinji calling her something harsh, something he had never said before, but what the boy couldn't deny was that her face was a beautiful face; cute at times, but it was what some people would call a 'classical beauty'; a mixture of both her eastern and western heritage on her: eyes slanted upward so very slightly, noticeable different from the way all of the other girls that Shinji knew had them, framed by long eyelashes and thin eyebrows that were perhaps a tad darker in color than her hair.

Shinji had to admit Asuka's penchant for calling herself "the cutest girl at school." Was spot on, not only because of her hair color, which was an eclectic mixture of red and brown that at dusk seemed like a dark-red shade of brown, and in the early morning felt copperish-red, and sometimes, during the summer and when sun was just so, Shinji could almost swear it was a darker shade of strawberry blond.

It also had to do with the frame of her face, the small nose affix atop full pouty lips that were now pressed together so firmly, they seemed to almost disappear into a single line, the rest of the remarkable face framed by her slightly-pointy chin.

But what a lot of students would accept readily was that the most striking of Asuka's traits were her eyes; almost almond shaped, and with bright, sea-blue irises that seemed to encompass the dueling nature of Asuka; turbulence and tranquility all in one spunky package that was now staring at her with something that seemed almost like sadness and surprise mixed together into one single feeling.

Before she turned with a huff and stomped away not even bothering to give Shinji a parting quip.

* * *

"Wait, so you just walked away?" Hikari asked as she poured some of the chocolate into the oven pan, carefully making sure it landed on the aluminum figure makers, shaped like starts and hearts and human-like figures while Asuka did the same on her own pan, having been convinced by the pig-tailed girl to help her instead of just moping around in her house.

"Well, what else could I do?"

"Normally? You would have given him hell, either pushed him, or called him an idiot, or just… you know…" Hikari trailed off, focusing on the chocolate as it poured agonizingly slowly to fill one of the molds, sticking her tongue out as if that would help the thick, viscous liquid fall faster, while Asuka stood there, staring at her, before finally the redhead cleared her throat noisily, making the class representative look back at her.

"Or just… what?"

"Look, Asuka, I know you have your own way of being, and I respect you because of what you do; I can't possibly begin to imagine what your daily life is like, being a pilot and fighting those things and dealing with Nerv and school and all that but…"

Again, Hikari trailed off, while her hands went to her apron, wiping them as if they had been filthy but Asuka knew this was her friend's way of dealing with her nervousness, this was the way her friend dealt with being in the spotlight.

"But..?"

"But Shinji is the same… he's also a pilot and he deals with Nerv too, and he also goes to school." Hikari said slowly, solemnly before a small _dinging_ sound, as plain and crisp as a glass breaking in a deserted room, reverberated in the room, loud and clear and there was nowhere to hide from it, making Hikari turn to the oven, opening the lid and extracting one of the pans with a kitchen glove, putting it on the table and picking one of the figures out and handing it to Asuka, who took it wordlessly and bit into it, munching with a slow, deliberate pace.

"Don't you think you should cut him some slack?"

Asuka grumbled noncommittally as she continued to eat the confection, before she blinked, looking up at Hikari with her lips covered in some of the chocolate that had melted away.

"This is very good, Hikari!"

"I know, this isn't the first batch I've done, you know?" The pig-tailed girl beamed, proudly, realizing that Asuka was wordlessly asking her to let it go, and Hikari, being the dutiful friend that she was could do nothing but accept it, turning back once again to the counter top as she began to mix another batch of chocolate.

And in doing so, she missed Asuka's thoughtful expression as she took another nibble of the chocolate bar, eyes pensive, while her face kept a blank expression.

* * *

The sky was already darkening when Asuka made her way back to the apartment, feeling herself, her body and her heart so heavy… as if someone had poured lead over her, encasing her body and asphyxiating her soul, before the small _ding_ of the elevator made her look up, noticing in a daze that she had reached Misato's floor, stepping out and walking down the hall until she reached the door, entering her key code and stepping in from what felt like an oppressive heat into the relative coolness of the apartment itself.

Only to be greeted by the sight of Shinji caught in a headlock by Toji, whimpering softly as he repeated over and over the word 'help' while the jock mumbled something about how they were just playing professional wrestle.

Before Asuka simply glared at both boys, staring straight into Shinji's eyes as she stomped back into her room, talking aloud about how those two idiots were stinking up the place with their sweat.

Shinji sighed as he looked at the spot where Asuka had been just moments ago, something that did not go unnoticed by Toji; while his first reaction was to tease Shinji about staring for too long, a part of Toji actually felt like this was one of those rare moments Shinji had opened himself up, perhaps unaware or forgetting that he was there.

"Yo, Shinji…" Toji began lazily, in the relaxed way he spoke, a bit of his heritage slipping in, making his words come out casual, familiar, like someone who is so used to speaking with a good buddy, how they start cutting corners around the spelling and pronunciation, eating syllables, rushing words, speaking in a way that was like a secret code among friends.

"Yeah?"

"What do you and the devil talk about when you're here at home?"

Shinji turned to Toji from his place on the kitchen sink, already getting busy with cleaning up the small amount of plates he and Toji had left from their light lunch, before he turned back towards the water running down from the faucet, feeling as the warm liquid mixed itself with the viscous liquid soap, quickly diluting it, turning it into a slippery concoction that began to generate a lot of suds and bubbles.

"Nothing really." Shinji said softly as he continued washing the dishes. "Just normal stuff I guess."

"Does she ask you about what you and Ayanami talk about at school?" Toji said with an impish grin while Shinji blinked, before he realized the loaded question, his mind registering very slowly what was happening before his eyes shot wide open, and his hands began to tremble making him almost drop the dish he had been washing before quickly recovering himself.

"Wh-what!? W-we… we never really t-why!?" Shinji began before cutting himself off.

There a pause that slowly grew into a beat, eventually germinating into a great expense of silence before Toji spoke again, only this time, the normally brash, loud young man used a small, soft tone, almost shy, almost as if it was Shinji the one talking.

"I… Hikari… she's been coming to my house…" Toji spoke quickly, his words coming out like rapid gunfire, running over each other, intersecting and confusing before he stopped, remembering how to breath, taking big gulps of air through his mouth as he looked away, shrugging his shoulders, trying to appear like it wasn't a big deal.

"We live nearby so she uh… she brings us food sometime, for me and sis… I mean, I'm sure her sister makes the class rep do it. It's not like Hikari would do it for me… she's been so full of herself ever since she became class rep…" Toji said in an angry tone before he looked down once more, whispering.

"Anyway, she's gonna be coming over tomorrow and I was wondering what we should talk about." Toji said sheepishly, as he scratched his cheek, back hunched and looking up with a slight tinge of red coloring his cheeks before Shinji blinked.

"Hikari's coming over… to **your** place?"

"D-don't be an idiot!" Toji exclaimed as the red tinge became a full blown blush on his face, the outside of a tough delinquent student evaporating as if it were the morning mist, leaving behind a child not unlike Shinji, and something about the way he was denying everything loudly, looking like a chicken squawking loudly, hands flapping by his side as if the physical act of denial would give him more credibility.

"A-and don't say it like that!" Toji exclaimed before changing the way he was speaking, making the words come out as if they had been bitten and chewed and spit out. "I ain't doin' nothin' wrong!"

Shinji slowly raised his hands in a placating manner while Toji took a few seconds to breath in and out, face red either out of anger or embarrassment, or maybe both before he crossed his feet and interlaced his fingers in his lap, staring down at his toes.

"Hikari… she told me she'd come over and cook some dinner, and since I can't cook as good as you…" Toji sighed. "I was thinking y'know? _What could we ever talk about_? _What should I tell her_? And I figured I'd ask you how you and Soryu do it… how are you able to talk to the other like you do."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Toji scratched his chin, staring at the ceiling, looking like someone trying to reach a higher evolutionary stage before he looked down and shrugged with practices eased, twisting his neck while he did so, cracking the bones and muscles, feeling as the tension dissipated from his body with that small action.

"I mean, even when you two are fighting, it looks like you're both enjoying it." the tanned boy said before he shrugged once more, only this time it was a different shrug, one that seemed to hold in itself the complexity and perplexity that was the unique Ikari-Soryu dynamic.

"I really envy you; I wish I had it like that with Hikari…"

Shinji stood there as Toji said those words, staring at his friend with a dumb look in his face, not sure of what to say or do, but feeling he should at least try something, even if he wasn't sure of what.

"It's not…"

So instead Shinji kept himself focused on the task at hand, rinsing and drying the dishes before he finally spoke in a small voice.

"If that's the way you see it, then you're wrong; my relationship with Asuka is…" Toji looked up, watching only the blinding white that was Shinji's shirt while the boy kept scrubbing and washing. "It's not what you think it is, Toji."

With a slow, deliberate movement, Shinji closed the water, and with an even slower move, he turned to his friend, looking down and to his right, almost as if he were ashamed of talking, of expressing himself.

Almost as if he were embarrassed of having to admit this wasn't the typical relationship everyone expected them to have.

Because…

"Most of the time, I really don't have a clue about what Asuka is thinking, or what I should say to her."

Toji opened his mouth, looking as if he was going to say something before he frowned and blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Asuka… she doesn't really talk to me." Shinji said softly. "Lately, even when she comes back from Nerv, she won't even talk to me."

There was something in the way Shinji said that; a twinge of pain, a throbbing ache that was so visible and palpable that Toji could almost reach out and touch it; it radiated from Shinji's body, echoed in his voice, permeated every aspect of himself, his actions, the way he would look at his hands, the way his fingers would twitch as if they were trying to encapsulate themselves into a tight fist.

"Even if we're living together here with Misato, Asuka… she sometimes feel as if she's far away…" Shinji finished with a melancholic look in his face, mirroring the tone of his voice and his overall posture, before he added to himself in his mind.

It's almost as if we were separated by an AT field.

Toji sighed, nodding at Shinji's last words, for some reason feeling the same way.

"Hikari's changed too."

* * *

"Happy Valentine's day!"

Shinji gasped.

Actually, he choked first, and would probably have passed out due to asphyxia if Toji hadn't been around, eating from the blue-eyed boy's own lunchbox, and after Shinji stopped coughing and hacking, and after he stopped seeing little white dots dancing inside his eyelids due to Toji's palm slamming on his back with more force than needed, Shinji remained with eyes and mouth wide open, before Toji summarized his feelings adequately by asking one simple question.

"Are you… are you serious?"

To say Toji was surprised, would have been an understatement; he was staring at the small flat box that had been pushed against Shinji's hands, wrapped in red and with a red and white bow on top of it, while Kensuke simply kept staring with same look his friends had, even when his hand, holding onto his ever present camera had slowly slid down.

"Well? Aren't you gonna say thank you!?"

Shinji blinked quickly, looking back at the girls in front of him; Hikari was staring at him as if he was the lowest life form in the planet, a thought Shinji entertained more often than not, before the pigtailed girl quickly turned her gaze to his other companions, eyebrows knitted together in frustration.

Asuka, on the other hand, kept the look of boredom in her face, arms locked behind her head and turning over to where the door back to the school building was, almost as if she was considering whether to stick around or leave, but there was something amiss, something off… something Shinji quite out his finger on before the boy turned to the last one.

Rei wasn't with Asuka and Hikari, more like she had decided to walk down the same route and sit here, enjoying the warm breeze, the shade of a tree, and the light of the sun to read, and for some reason, she reminded Shinji of a cat; the type of animal that was quiet, mysterious, enigmatic, and that would always do whatever it wanted; dancing to its own little tune in its own little world; disconnected, always an outsider.

Hikari and Toji had began bickering while all of this had taken place; Toji had made a rude comment about girls and chocolate, before Hikari had bonked him in the head, demanding him to apologize which made the tall, tanned boy reply with a more colorful remark, and for a brief moment, Shinji entertained the idea of both Toji and Hikari being elementary kids; the kind that have been good friends almost since coming out of the womb, like the kind of friendship Toji and Kensuke obviously had, but this one was more… perplexing.

Because when they were at the arcade, or whenever Toji would drop by Misato's apartment to do a "study group", even though Shinji knew very well Toji was trying to catch a glimpse of Misato and nothing else.

In Shinji's peripheral vision, he noticed Rei stand up, quietly, like a cat deciding to catch a better spot or patch of light, before walking in silence towards the main school building, leaving both girls and the three guys in the courtyard during lunch hour, before Asuka did the same thing, wordlessly walking after Rei inside the school while Hikari continued to berate Toji.

"You're supposed to say thank you when a girl gives you chocolate, you insensitive jerk!"

This made Shinji turn back as Toji and Hikari began to grumble and make faces at each other, while Kensuke laughed good naturedly, taking video of everything.

"Says who!? And it's not like I didn't say thanks anyway!" Toji exclaimed as he grabbed a hold of the box when he felt Hikari tugging at it.

"You haven't said thanks! That's the whole point!" Hikari said in a loud voice before she took the chocolate back, and a tug-of-war on the poor, abused box ensued.

"Hey! This is mine! You can't take it away!"

"Yes I can, Suzuhara! This chocolate is for people who appreciate it!"

"Well let me take a bite outta it and I'll tell ya if it sucks or not!"

Shinji and Kensuke both had a small smile as they saw their friend and the class rep's back and forth as if it were a tennis match, one side serving a volley, the other one answering with an overhead slam, before they both began to walk away towards the courtyard while behind them both the pigtailed girl and the tanned boy kept at it.

"I think this qualifies as a screw-up mating ritual." Kensuke began with a chuckle while Shinji shrugged but smiled, glad at, for once, not being the focus of his friends jokes, especially when it had to do with anything romantic, because this would only lead to someone asking about…

"I do not understand; why would those actions constitute a mating ritual?"

Both children froze as they hard the soft whisper that was Rei's voice, making Shinji look up at the normally stoic girl who was now standing in front of him, face still stoic, even though Shinji could make out a slight increase in her breath, and her lips were parted ever so slightly, and her eyes were just a little bit wider, and for some reason, her skin looked all the more colored around her cheeks and nose.

Kensuke and Shinji turned to each other, almost unsure of what they were going to say, or how they were going to start explaining this concept to Rei, before the glasses wearing boy coughed into his hand, clearing his throat and lifted his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his index finger, making the sunlight bounce on them, and missing the way this made Shinji shudder against his will, while Rei simply tilted her head to the side, like a lost puppy.

"This is all yours, Ikari." Kensuke said before turning around and exiting the school, walking towards the gym at a pace that was a cross between power walking and a full out sprint.

Thankfully, Just as Rei was about to say something, the school bell rang.

* * *

"Soryu seemed upset."

Shinji let out a small breath of air but simply nodded, resting against the mop as he and Rei finished cleaning up the room.

"I am not fluent in German, or English, but it seemed like she was asking you to put away the chocolates you received in your body, though she never mentioned consumption."

"I know." Shinji responded as he wringed the mop and looked at the classroom, surveying the area to make sure nothing was left amiss.

"She did mention she hoped you 'choked on the truffles' Aizawa gave you."

"Yeah, but I'm… I don't think I wanna taste them." Shinji said as he looked at the boxes in his desk from various girls both form this room and several others; most of the chocolates were small and inexpensive, even if they were decorated in tin and foil and papier-mâché.

"Do you not like chocolate?" Rei asked as she wringed the washcloth in her hand several times before standing up as both she and Shinji walked outside the room to the water drain just around the corner to dump the dirty water there.

"It's not that I don't like it, it's just that I don't see what the big deal is." Shinji saod, even if he felt a bit hypocritical about it.

"Chocolate is used as a gauge to see how very well liked you are by your school mates." Rei rationalized coldly. "the fact you got such an amount means you aren't disliked."

"Yeah, but still, I mean… Misato gave me a chocolate bar today in the morning, and when Kaji and Ritsuko came to pick her up and drive her to Nerv, even Ritsuko left some chocolate for us." Shinji said as both teens grabbed their book bags and walked towards the stairs, down the floor and towards the hall, stopping to put away their in-school slippers and put back their regular shoes on.

"She mentioned she was doing so because she was trying to understand the correlation of chocolate and synch ration increased, but all the while Kaji and Misato were snickering behind her back." Shinji continued while Rei stood up and began walking, prompting Shinji to follow her, talking to her back.

"Dr. Akagi did give me a small chocolate yesterday after my synch testing." Rei added with a small voice. "It was… different."

"Yeah, but what I mean is… what is the big deal about chocolate? Why do boys always get so worked up over this day?" The boy asked as both him and Rei entered the train station and waited patiently for Rei's train, due in 3 minutes, according to the overhead clock.

"Chocolate does have a certain chemical reaction in the human brain, similar to euphoria, and caffeine is considered an addictive substance; perhaps they are simply craving the chocolate because they are addicted to it."

It was Shinji's turn to look down and shrug, staying quiet since there wasn't anything he could say, before Rei continued.

"I read that chocolate is considered to be linked to this date because candy manufacturers have invested a sizable part of their budget into the marketing scheme; however there is another theory, even though I do not understand it." Rei said in that same tone of voice, before she turned to Shinji, staring at him with her blood-red eyes.

"Love and chocolate have been linked because they both are something that can be both sweet and enjoyable."

Shinji waited for a moment for Rei to say something more, but the girl remained quiet.

"So what don't you get?"

Rei blinked before turning her head to gaze at Shinji, just as the train rolled into the station, before the girl turned to look at the doors, hearing in the distance the announcements before the blue-haired girl finally spoke.

"I do not understand how love can be like chocolate."

Before Shinji could register what all this meant, the train rolled out of the station, the sound of metal against metal making everything else inaudible, and just like that, Shinji found himself alone in the station, before he sighed and made his way to the other side of the tracks, waiting for his train to come.

* * *

The sun was setting down when Shinji finally arrived to the station, feeling angry at himself for sleeping on the train, which meant a 20 minute train ride had turned into a 1 hour and 20 minutes one; he was hungry, he was thirsty, and he remembered that there was nothing in the pantry left to eat.

It had been Misato's turn to buy the groceries again, an even though Shinji knew better and he normally would do it himself instead of bothering Misato about it, the boy had been so worried about school and Nerv he had completely forgotten about it, so that was how he found himself right now standing outside the convenience-mart down the street, patting himself down before taking out his wallet, checking how much money he had left to make sure he had enough to buy the list that was already forming in his mind.

"What are you doing here?"

Shinji looked up, coming face to face with Asuka who was holding a green twill bag with the logo of the place printed on it, standing outside the store

"I uh… I came to buy the groc-"

"I already got that taken care of." Asuka said as she lifted the basket that was half way filled with instant meals, bottled waters and assorted drinks, as well as fruits and vegetables packets of sardines and showing it to Shinji who looked form the basket to Asuka and back again before the redhead frowned.

"What!? Don't look so surprised! I may not look like, but I actually can do this sort of stuff."

"N-No, it's not that." Shinji said quickly, stuttering as Asuka shook her head and rolled her eyes before she walked past Shinji, pressing one of the bags onto him without saying anything more, as both children walked in silence towards their apartment.

Shinji sighed, and it seemed like it was something he was used to doing for so long, like it had taken a space reserved for actual words or actions; if something happened, he would sigh, it was like a preamble for any kind of activity that was about to be undertaken by him, be it cooking or cleaning, or walking to school or Nerv or the apartment or simply walking with his friends while they would tease and pick on him.

But in this case, it had to do with the redhead walking two steps ahead of him.

Shinji looked like he was ready to do... something, but the problem was he himself wasn't sure of what, and looked torn between leaving the redhead, running to the apartment with an angry look on his face, grumbling under his breath after what Asuka had said to him at school, or talk to her, and make her feel just like he had felt then, trying to relieve the disbelieving look of hurt on her face.

The problem was that Shinji was one of those who never had the perfect comeback.

Until today.

But for some reason, Shinji felt like he had become the worst version of himself; that he had opened his own personal Pandora's Box full of all the secret hateful parts he never knew he had: arrogance, spite, condescension, letting them vault out and into the open with just that one small phrase, all those feelings summed up nicely in just one little word that kept repeating and replaying themselves over and over in his mind, because normally, when anyone would provoke him, Shinji would simply look down and utter an apology before walking away.

Because, normally, when Shinji found himself in such a situation he would get tongue-tied, and his mind would go blank, and hours after all of this had happened, he would spend all night tossing and turning trying to think of what he should have said, finding himself thinking about it as he did the house chores assigned to him, while he cooked, or while he cleaned, or did the laundry, or basically did anything trying to make his mind not think about that.

But right now, Shinji could see the truth behind that; Now that he had finally had the pleasure of saying the thing he meant to say at the moment he meant to say it… now all he could see was Asuka's hurt look in her eyes, and the way her mouth had been left open, in surprise, open and vulnerable and Shinji could only feel the numb feeling of remorse that inevitably followed as the trip back home was made in silence, and the ride in the elevator up to Misato's floor too… the small trip from the end of the hall down to Misato's apartment was made in the same, absolute suffocating silence that had been the only sound to be made by both teens ever since school

"Asuka…"

"Shut up." The redhead said quickly, swiftly cutting him off. "I know what you're gonna say, and don't."

Both children continued walking in silence, crossing the street, entering the apartment building, walking up to the elevator and riding it up to their floor; all of this was made in silence; both teens entered the apartment, and Shinji went immediately to put away the groceries in their place, while Asuka put away the rest of the things she had bought.

"So…" Asuka began conversationally. "How much chocolate did you get?"

"W-well, not much… I mean, Hikari gave me some, and so did some other girls from school…" Shinji began in a small tone, careful not to turn around to show Asuka his reddening cheeks. "And Misato surprised me with some chocolate too in the morn–"

"Yes, I was there, I saw Misato give you the chocolate and give Kaji some chocolate scented body wash… and I also saw Ritsuko-san give you some chocolate as well." Asuka began bored as she walked to the cupboard and extracted a small cup. "I just don't get what's the big deal about the whole chocolate thing."

Shinji sighed before he answered.

"People think that chocolate and love are alike because they're both sweet and enjoyable." The boy began, as he continued busying himself on putting away the things in the cupboard while Asuka opened the fridge to take out some things.

"And you?"

"Huh? M-me?"

"You said 'people think'…" Asuka said as she shrugged her shoulders. "That means you don't believe in that."

"I actually think love is like chocolate… it can be sweet, but there's some kind of chocolate that can also be bitter." Shinji said in the same distant tone of voice, as if he were talking through a tunnel or a paper tube, the words sounding alien in his mouth, before he took a big gulp of air and turned to Asuka.

"If I told you that I liked you, would you take it as a joke?"

Asuka turned to Shinji, giving him a surprised look; but Shinji wasn't aware, since his eyes were still glued to the floor, seeing as his toes curled and twitched, as if they were scratching one feet with the other, the socks he was wearing making small, soft scratching sounds as the cotton fabric rubbed against each other, a silent impasse reigning over them both, with only the sift humming of the refrigerator in the background, running smoothly while the soft sounds of crickets and cicadas drowned the warm summer night before Asuka finally spoke.

"Yeah, I guess I would."

Shinji's shoulder slumped as he heard this answer, even if a small part of his brain had already braced itself for it, expecting nothing less from Asuka, knowing full well that there was no way, no chance and no remote possibility she would ever see him under a different light.

Because Shinji knew that, as far as Asuka was concerned, he would always be _Stupid Shinji_, _Idiot Shinji_, meek little Shinji who was never able to show some spine or do anything right, silly little Shinji who would always try and never do, who would always cry and never fight back.

Stupid, idiot Shinji who was nothing more than a thorn at her side, an annoyance in her life, beneath her, below her, not even fitting to be called by his name, instead always being refered to as Idiot Shinji, or Stupid Third.

And yet…

Why?

Somehow… somehow the word formed in his mind, like a small tear in the fabric of one's shirt; a small little thread that one notices and is unable to stop from pulling at, taking it between thumb and forefinger, and making the fabric unravel with each subsequent pull.

"Why?"

The word was uttered softly, not even a whisper could be used to describe it, but for Shinji, it felt like he had screamed it, echoing loudly into his ears, like a cacophony of sounds mixing with the loud, accelerated beating of his heart, and the short, quick breaths of his nose, feeling like a white-hot spike being driven between his lobes, pushing them apart, making them bleed, making him scream inside in agony as tears began to swell and form like little pearls on his eyes, and his right arm ripple with involuntary movement, and his right hand twitched before Shinji forced his arm to remain put, pressing it against his side and making his fingers ball into a fist, still looking down, still breathing quickly, as his mouth drew back into an angry snarl, but his voice never climbed a single pitch.

"Why?"

Finally, Shinji looked up, staring at Asuka before his eyes, narrowed into slits opened themselves as big and wide as he could, before his snarl disappeared and was replaced by a small round 'O' forming in his lips, before his nose was immersed into the soft scent of strawberries and peaches, and before his eyes were flooded by the coppery-red hair, Bright-blue eyes and cream-colored skin of Asuka's face.

Before his lips felt a small, gentle pressure on themselves.

Before he realized Asuka was kissing him.

Before he heard her voice.

"Because I know you don't like me." Asuka said softly, looking down and twisting her hands, holding a small box before her.

It was wrapped in a dark pink color, but the creases on the paper, and the way the wrapping itself was done showed that whoever had done it hadn't been able to do a proper job with it, as if a kid with untalented fingers had tried to do it, only to find the paper had been cut shorter from one side, uneven and ripped and pasted hastily one over the other, and bits and pieces of the brown cardboard underneath showing as if they were patches of dry land against a shrub of grass.

There was something endearing, Shinji realized, about the way Asuka held the box close to her chest, as if she were afraid it would break, fearing it would be alive and escape from her; that was what made Shinji stop, and gently, very gently reach forth, arms trembling as Asuka hugged the small, beaten box tighter against her, biting her lip, but trying to remain calm, trying hard not to leash out, not to push Shinji away, shouting and calling him a pervert like she always did.

"I wanted to surprise you."

Asuka said simply before Shinji finally succeeded in taking the box away from her hands very gently, before he saw the little note that was taped haphazardly on the wrapping, written in the beautiful, flowing, western penmanship that Asuka possessed.

_I know you love me._

And Shinji smiled, because he knew that was the way things were.

* * *

_**AN: Para ti baby, esperando que te la estes pasando feliz en san Valentin.**_


	15. Kiss 01, Way 12

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: K - 1. (Look over there) W - 12. (Hobbies)**

**Title: P.O.S.**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story._**

**_This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."_**

**_It all snowballed from there._**

**_

* * *

_**

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

* * *

The small group of girls continued giggling and teasing, relaxing as the school day, thank god, was about to end, which made Asuka's lips break into a small, contended smile. Friday would usually do that to her, make her smile a little, make her remember sometimes how good it felt to be a teenager.

Asuka let out a sigh as she looked up front, noticing Hikari as the pigtailed, freckled girl finished and stood up, walking behind her, the sounds of aimless chatting from other students who were still out in the hallways, talking aimlessly as they waited for their friends from other classrooms to be let go after the usual Stand. Bow. Sit.

Both girls walked slowly, making their way to the school entrance and saying "hi" to the other students: Hikari in a demure, polite tone, while Asuka would openly smile and giggle, enjoying the attention she received.

Until she saw him.

Hikari felt Asuka's whole body tense, and the redhead's face instantly began to glow a color similar to her hair, before the half German, half Japanese teenager let out a small growl, stomping her way across the hall, making Shinji let out a deep sigh, grumbling before he began to change his in-school slippers for his regular tennis shoes, focusing on the simple task to take his mind of the day, something for which he was glad as all of the past days had been nothing less than depressing.

That was until Asuka had made Shinji painfully aware of how angry she was still at him by ignoring him all through the day, even going so far as leaving before he could say a thing while both her and Hikari walked away, the prospect of Asuka being more vocal, and perhaps physical with her anger, hanging on top of Shinji's head like Damocles' sword pending from a fragile thread just by the fact alone of Shinji walking into Misato's apartment.

In short, he was very much screwed.

But the good news were that classes were over for the day, which meant only one more day to go, but it really was a formality, since it was going to be the cultural festival, which meant no classes.

Sighing again, only this time a more calm, almost happy sigh; the kind one does when realizing they had survived the worst and there was, indeed, a light at the end of the tunnel, Shinji began to make his way towards the entrance, thinking of doing nothing but hanging out with Toji and Kensuke, maybe going to the arcade, before inevitably going back home to face the insatiable teasing of his roommates.

"Yo, chief, you ready or what?" Shinji smiled at the sight of Toji, clad in his track suit, as always, the strap of his book bag rested against his head like he normally did to lodge his hands inside the pockets of his windbreaker.

"Yeah," Shinji answered shyly, almost uncomfortably shrinking as if by instinct, trying to make himself be a smaller target against others' prying eyes. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Ah think nothing of it, buddy." Toji said before he caught Shinji in a headlock, brushing his knuckles against the brown haired boy's head, laughing loudly and not caring of anyone looking their way. "This just means you're gonna pay for me and Kenny at the 'cade."

"Ow, ow, ow! Toji! Cut it out!" Shinji said half joking, half serious before pushing the bigger boy away. Toji smirked and flexed his knees, hands going up, assuming the first position a wrestler would take before grappling with an opponent.

"Ha! So Mr. big shot pilot has grown a set on him? Think you can take on me, Shin-man?" Toji said chuckling, moving around like he had seen the wrestlers on TV do.

"What's up with the standing up?" Kensuke smirked, as Toji threw him his book bag, putting it aside to prevent before sitting on the grass and watching their antics.

"Yeah! What up Shin? Are ya trying to impress someone? Maybe someone like Ayanami or the devil?" Toji's face lit up as his eyes began fluttering, his hands cradling his face as he sing-song in a high pitched voice while Shinji blushed and looked down.

"N-no! it's not like that!"

"C'mon Shinji." Kensuke smiled a toothy smile at his friend. "You and them missed on the trip to Okinawa, but we saw both you and Soryu looked like you had been basking in the sun."

"More like a volcano." Shinji muttered loud enough for him to hear but for his friends to ignore.

"So come clean." Kensuke said lazily, taking his camcorder from within his school bag and setting it on Shinji's face, ready to record what ever Shinji might say or slip out. "Where exactly did you and the devil ran off to that made you sport matching tans?"

"How do you even know we have matching tans?" Shinji said sighing, something that was rapidly becoming a normal occurrence on his life, it seemed.

"Gym class." Kensuke smiled easily, while Toji winked at Shinji's surprised face. "We managed to score some more glamour shots of your new girlfriend while she was bragging to Hikari about her awesome tan."

"Yeah, I gotta admit, Soryu does fill the gym uniform nicely, see?" Kensuke added, fiddling with his camera before the small screen showed still photos of the girl's gym class.

Shinji's eyes narrowed as he sneaked a glance into the camcorder, only to be greeted with the image of Asuka, captured as the redhead was riding her shorts a little higher over her hind quarter to expose a patch of untanned skin, contrasting vividly with the healthy tan of the rest of her leg, the sight of it making Shinji's mouth hang open, cheeks blushed as his eyes fixated on the exposed skin.

"Hey chief, don't wanna sound like a pusher or nothing but if you wanna see you gotta pay." Toji's heavy "tough-boy" accent and flashy smile signaled that he was now in "business mode" while taking the camera of Shinji's eyes, staring at it and whistling appreciatively.

"Toji, my camera." Kensuke whimpered as he stepped behind Toji, knowing that finesse and carefulness were two activities that would never be identified with Suzuhara, but Toji simply ignored the glass-wearing boy, talking away.

"I mean I pity your soul and all, chief, but if you like the red pill better than the blue pill, who are we to judge?" He snickered as Shinji blushed again, scrambling to deny any and all accusation, implied or otherwise, against his character.

"To-Toji! My camera."

"After all, if you like hell over heaven… I mean personally, if I were you I'd go with Misato, but she already has that what's-his-name sniffing her panties, so I guess the best option is Ayanami." Toji finished, trying to sound like a guy who had seen it all and done it all, winking at Shinji as if he held the ultimate answer to picking up girls, almost like a master pick up artist. "Sure, she's quiet and submissive, but you know what they say… It's always the quiet ones."

"Toji! My camera!" Kensuke's voice and actions became more and more frantic as he saw the jock play with his camera as if it were a basketball, dribbling and throwing it up and catching it with one hand before Kensuke pushed him to the ground, making the tall teen land loudly on his ass.

Shinji could almost swear he heard Kensuke snarl as he hugged his precious camera against his chest, hunching over it, the setting sun glaring into his glasses, making Shinji shiver for some unknown reason while Toji simply guffawed loudly from the grass.

"So how about it chief? You and Asuka got a little busy getting busy while we were in Okinawa?" Toji snickered as he motioned to Kensuke. "Because if you did, then you're more advanced than this guy; all the time, we had countless cuties in bathing suits... never once did he ask one out."

"Ah, don't listen to him, Shinji. He didn't get a piece of the action either." Kensuke countered, instantly branding together with Shinji, but staying behind the boy, grabbing his precious hardware to prevent anything from happening to it and ready to run should Toji get up and try to exact revenge. "After all, Toji was staring at the class rep when she pulled her own shirt down to show Asuka how tanned she was."

Instantly, almost as if someone had pulled a lever or pressed a button from a remote control, Toji blushed before getting up in a jump, chasing after his friends while Shinji watched all this and let out his usual annoyed sigh.

* * *

"God Misato! What the hell was she even thinking!" Asuka said under her breath as she took out her slippers, not even bothering about the cascade of love letters and cards erupting from her shoe box.

"Why? Did she make dinner again?" Hikari said as she opened her own locker and put her shoes in, extracting her slippers, already aware of Misato's legendary awful cooking skills.

"Please! I don't have the stomach for you to remind me of her spicy curry ramen nightmare." Asuka mumbled as she covered her face with her hands.

"I thought you said that any one who is actually too much of an idiot to taste her cooking should suffer the consequences and take it like a man." Hikari continued, adopting Asuka's harsh, self-assured tone of voice to better deliver her lines, hopping to gain a small smile from the usually voluble girl, only this time her joke fell on deaf ears.

"I-is something wrong?"

"Huh? No." Asuka said all too quickly, blushing but looking down to her shoes, hiding swiftly her face under the curtain of her hair.

"Really?"

"I'm good, really." The redhead finished quickly as she looked up and half jumped, half stood up, resting her hands on her hips, and her body on her heels.

"Alright, if you say so..." Hikari shrugged, as both girls made their way to the classroom with the rest of the girls from gym class.

"It's not a big deal, ok?" The German teen said as she shuffled behind Hikari, threading sluggishly towards the classroom. "And remind me again why the hell am I doing this?"

Hikari rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose; her voice coming out in a long suffered sigh.

"Well, for starters, that's because you need the extra points that are given to students who help on the Cultural Festival Committee." She said matter-of-factly, rounding the corner and walking into a storage room, before they both emerged carrying out several cardboard boxes and placing them on the floor.

"Well, yeah there's that." Asuka said, having the decency to blush as she was reminded of her poor grades… not like she would ever agree or accept it.

"Also…" Hikari continued tiredly as she grabbed a box overflowing with fabric and placed it on top of the others waiting for them in a dolly. "It's because you're such a good friend that wouldn't allow me to deal with all these by myself."

"Yep." Asuka grinned to herself, complacently as she snickered right along side with Hikari, a familiar crooked smile blossoming on her lips before the redhead grabbed onto her friend's arm and both began walking down the hallway.

"But mainly…" Hikari said as they reached classroom 2-A, hearing the amicable chatter and sounds emerging from within as several other girls were busy inside. "You said yes because it'll be fun."

"Yeah.. fun." Asuka frowned, muttering quietly to herself.

"Yes. Fun." Hikari smiled but her voice was firm as she opened the door to the classroom. "By the way Asuka... what happened between you and Shinji?"

* * *

Shinji rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"It's nothing really."

"C'mon Shin-man… we know ya." Toji said as all 3 walked towards the arcade. "Something has your panties in a twist… after all, Soryu barely looked at ya when we passed by her and the class rep."

"Yeah, normally she would at least give you her glare of death." Kensuke agreed. "Today she simply looked away."

Shinji sighed and slumped against the wall, sliding down to sit on a nearby bench; if he had to be completely honest, this had all started with that onsen trip, and the trip back home.

_No, wait… It had started when Asuka had arrived from_

Shinji sighed and corrected himself.

It had started when he had opened that letter his father had sent; everything had started to slide downhill from there, slouching towards some sort of cosmic joke he never got, didn't understand, but was fairly sure was centered around him, Shinji Ikari, making him the punch line.

"Well?"

Shinji closed his eyes, letting out a breath of air before remembering the events that had brought upon him this particular punch line.

"Well, it all started with Misato… after she made us all miss on the trip to Okinawa, she took both Asuka and me to an onsen." Shinji began. "When we came back home…"

* * *

"Ah! Nothing like a trip to the onsen to clear one's mind!"

The silence that greeted her made Misato turn around to her right, throwing a quick glance at her copilot. She had expected at least a thank you from any of them, but mostly from him, after going through all the trouble of booking the open air bath since neither Shinji nor Asuka were able to go to Okinawa.

"You're awfully quiet today. Something on your mind?"

Again she saw his eyes turn to her and blink, take in a breath and just as he was about to say something, turn to his right and look out the window, blinking at the orange hue of the setting sun.

"Oh fine, be that way!" Misato said, sticking out her tongue at him before looking back on her rear view mirror, noticing how Shinji and Asuka were asleep; the redhead resting against Shinji's shoulder, while the boy's head was laid back, the only audible sound on the car being the soft, light snoring coming from them both.

"So what do you think? Do they make a cute couple?" The tone in her voice left little intentions of Misato's plan to tease both teens as soon as they arrived home, but she needed something more… incriminating.

Smiling devilishly, Misato fished into her purse and extracted her mobile phone, flicking the camera to get a good view of the two teens, head in head. Biting her lip to stifle a throaty chuckle, the major slowly lowered the back windows so that the cold night air entered the car, making Shinji and Asuka, both still clad with their short sleeve shirts, or in Asuka's case a white frilly sundress, tremble and snuggle on each other for added warmth.

The sound of the electric shutter signaled that Misato had already taken the picture, and looked at it, enjoying the sense of innocence and tenderness it held before she noticed how close their faces were.

That was when her plan took a whole new dimension.

Noticing that a curve was nearing, Misato quickly saved the picture, preparing again. Using the mirror to focus the camera-phone she let the car go straight before giving it a hard turn and pressing the "capture" button.

Shinji had been dreaming of Pen-Pen... somehow the penguin had decided to sit on top of his chest, which made Shinji realize he was quite heavy... and somehow, his voice sounded like Ayanami's.

Asuka had been dreaming about a date with Kaji.

That in itself wasn't surprising for the petite redhead; she had been walking hand in hand with Kaji through a very normal setting of a park, trees lining the road, letting only a faint stream of sunlight before Kaji, without saying anything, dipped down his face and meet her lips with a soft peek.

Some where along the line, Shinji realized that Pen-Pen was leaning over him, with a fish in his beak, staring at him expectantly, unblinkingly, as he slowly, ever so agonizingly slowly got closer and closer, the smell of fish faint but strong enough to make Shinji aware that a dead fish was inches away from his mouth.

_Why is Pen-Pen trying to feed me as if he were my... mom?_

The pressure on her lips had caught the German girl by surprise, but she had quickly recovered by deepening the kiss using the innate human reaction to a kiss; she parted her lips and savored Kaji's mouth, noticing the texture of his lips. For someone who looked so rough and world weary, Kaji had amazingly soft lips, almost like a young boy's. She moaned softly as she felt the older man's lips move in unison to her own, reacting as well making the kiss more powerful, and deep and breathtaking.

Shinji decided that, for a dead fish, this fish was actually a very good kisser, there was a lot of passion put behind the kiss, and while his mind knew on a detached way that he should be screaming horrified about the situation and it's repercussions, his boy was acting on it's own, pressing more, enjoying the faint taste of strawberries and mint, so unlike a dead fish that Shinji had to wonder just what had this dead fish been eating, as well as possibly congratulate it for amazing oral hygiene.

When Asuka opened her eyes to see Kaji's face she noticed that is features seemed much younger than she remembered. She also noticed that his usually uncombed messy mop of hair seemed smaller and combed differently.

As Shinji licked his lips, enjoying the last remnants of the strawberry flavored lip-gloss he never knew fish liked to wear, he realized that the fish was now staring at him, blinking quickly and the red tuft of hair and bangs making it look actually kind of cute and adorable, in a familiar, loud, over bearing, Germanic kind of way.

Asuka noticed Kaji's eyes opening slowly, only instead of dark chocolate brown, they seemed darker and… bluer…

_Almost like Shinji's…_

And Shinji began to realize the dead fish was actually a very much alive German-loaned evangelion pilot.

Asuka blinked as she slowly began to realize she was in Misto's car, she was kissing Shinji.

And he was staring back…

As the redhead had heard Misato's telltale snicker, it took her a couple of seconds before she finally realized the compromising position she was in, her mind booting up, almost sluggishly realizing and adapting quickly to her surroundings before she finally had a delayed reaction, transformed into words, screech or scream by her mind.

"MISATO!"

And so, she screamed.

* * *

"Yeah, I still can't believe she would get so angry over a kiss." Kensuke said as he continued to play one of the first person shooter games he favored so much. "I mean, I'll never get why girls get so freaked out about their first kiss, even in anime and dating sims."

"Wait, first kiss?" Toji said with a slight shrug as he heard the buzzer and began to shot as fast and in target as he could, ball after ball landing, bouncing, scoring and rebounding quickly getting as many shots in as the amount of seconds that had elapsed while Shinji was still struggling to land at least more than one. "I never got why chicks get so hung up on stuff like that... first kiss."

"Well, I mean, it's kind of logical." Kensuke supplied, grumbling as he put more tokens on his game before starting again. "It's like an achievement... a medal or something. Like how you keep remembering the first time you beat up that guy in grade school."

"Yeah." Toji nodded, a dreamy smile coming over his face as he remembered that time, cracking his knuckles reflexively. "That was awesome, I got Kai good with a punch to th-"

"A punch to the nose and then a kick to the gut." Kensuke said in a bored tone. "I know, I was there, and I've heard you bragging since then."

"Well, I can understand someone like class rep getting bent out of shape about it, but Soryu ain't Japanese... aren't western girls supposed to think more about their first time than their first kiss?" Toji continued undaunted, realizing the timer was going down and asking his actions faster, forgetting to line his shot and instead focusing on sheer volume of balls flying over towards the net.

"I don't really think about it." Shinji answered with a slight bluish, fidgeting and feeling uncomfortable as he always did whenever the topic of conversation veered towards girls or sex... or both.

"C'mon Shin-man..." Toji began as he placed his hands squarely on Shinji's shoulders. "Are you saying you've never once thought about it? You live with Katsuragi who's a babe, and Asuka is actually kind of cute."

Shinji simply groaned, realizing there was no way he could win that argument as all three continued to play in the arcade, trying to change the conversation.

"You know, I fell kind of bad for not staying behind and helping the others." Shinji said as he tried to score with the basketball in his hand, looking to his right at Toji who was the image of presence of mind; focused and in control, legs slightly bent, arms held high over his head, elbows pointing inwards while his eyes zeroed in on the basket itself.

"Ehh, I'm sure the other guys are working hard enough for all three of us." Toji wondered out loud as he placed some coins and began to play the basketball game again, quickly getting the amount of tickets he needed after just one try while Shinji shrugged, playing Kensuke's game and doing surprisingly better than him.

"Besides, if we had stayed there, you would have to stay an' suffer the ire of the red devil." Suzuhara continued as he collected a fist-full of tickets, folding them carefully and putting them with the other bunch he had, counting them before looking at the prize booth and sighing as he shook his head, realizing he needed more tickets to get the prize he wanted.

Shinji nodded, frowning but choosing to remain silent; for all of Toji's and Kensuke's good intention, he still had to live with said red devil, so he was simply postponing the inevitable.

But for the meantime, Shinji decided to focus on having fun with his friends before making his way back to Misato's apartment.

"Hey Ken! Aren't you done yet?"

"I wanted to go check out the new deliveries in the shop across; I need to see if they've received the latest Dangeki Hobby." Kensuke observed as Toji collected his tickets and then walked to the attendant's desk, exchanging his them while Shinji both got their school bags, waiting for Toji to finish. "Why? What's your rush?"

"You guys go ahead, I'll meet you there in a bit." Toji said as he turned to Shinji and Kensuke, nodding jamming the toy he had gotten from his tickets into his book bag. "I just remembered I have to be somewhere else."

And just like that, Toji was gone, walking quickly out of the arcade and down the street before disappearing around the corner

"He is so weird sometimes." Kensuke said as he and Shinji's walked out of the arcade and down the street towards the hobby store, Kensuke talking animatedly about the newest models for ships and airplanes and the like while Shinji decided not to say anything, and instead simply nodded at Kensuke, trying to appear like he was interested in it all.

"I mean sometimes, I call him and he's playing by himself, or staying after school to clean up, or whatever..." Kensuke continued, while Shinji simply nodded, grunting noncommittally, not really interested, and in fact thinking about what had happened earlier today.

"-ike you and a Soryu." Shinji blinked, stopping in his place, half realizing his name and Asuka's were linked together before his mind began to wander, thinking about what had happened in the trip, unconsciously clenching and unclenching his hands while Kensuke simply gave him a sidelong glance. "I mean, if you think about it, Soryu is all bark and no bite."

Shinji sighed, before he realized this wasn't going to end well unless a compromise was made; it wasn't so much that he had wanted to hang out with Toji and Kensuke in the first place; true, they were his friends, but this was mostly something done out of sheer selfishness, since the alternative was going back to Misato's, and Shinji knew very well this would mean he'd have to face Asuka, which wasn't something he really wanted to.

"You know, Shinji... if it bothers you so much, just tell Soryu." Kensuke said after a moment of silence, shrugging, and looking away. "Girls like her, they just keep pushing and pushing until one finally snaps; I bet that if you stood up to her and told her to take a hike, she'd do that."

"You don't..." Shinji began, stopping before he sighed. "You don't know Asuka..."

"Probably." Kensuke said more to himself than anyone else as he entered the shop and walked over to where a clerk was setting up some magazines. "But I've seen you two when you fight... and even when you fight, it seems like you both enjoy it..."

"Enjoy it?" Shinji asked with disbelief in his voice. "It's not like that!"

"I'm just saying what it looks like... Don't kill the messenger." Kensuke looked at Shinji and shrugged once more. "Besides, you two did kiss..."

Shinji closed his eyes and let out a low groan.

"Not this again..."

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait... Rewind." One of the girls said as she looked up from the center table she was arranging, staring at Asuka and Hikari. "So you kissed h-"

"No! I didn't kiss anybody!" Asuka said as she tried hard to fight the blush on her cheeks, which only succeeded in making her face seem the much redder.

"Lip locking is kissing, you know?" Hikari said helpfully, while trying to hide a smirk behind some leaves and flowers.

"The hell it is! It was Misato being her usual normal retarded self!" The redhead said out loud as she shook her fist for emphasis, which made Hikari and a couple of other girls giggled at Asuka's expense, making her glare at her former best friend turned traitor.

"Wh-what? You have to admit as far as pranks go that one was funny." Hikari said holding her sides, the snickering and smiling like a pandemic infecting the nearby girls who had stopped measuring fabric to put as table cloths or arranging flowers into table centers.

"As if!" Asuka shrieked as she sat down on a spare chair, grumbling and not bothering to pay attention, much less help the rest of the students working on this years "Student Café" for class 2-A, sticking out her tongue and scrunching her eyes tightly, her face clearly expressing her dislike. "The only reason why you're saying that is because you've never had the horrible experience of having to kiss a boy…"

"W-well your first kiss isn't something to be handed out slightly." Hikari said, blushing at the mention of boys and kisses, as she began to pull at the curtains and fidget with the floral arrangements. "I mean it's your first kiss, a-and it's something very important for a girl."

"Oh brother." Asuka whispered, toying with the idea of comparing a first kiss with something equally poignant, but choosing for Hikari's sake to drop the issue.

Besides, Hikari would die of embarrassment if I so much as uttered the words "virgin", "sex" and "first time".

"That's beside the point! The point is that my first kiss is non-existent! Both that idiot and me were asleep, so it really wasn't that big a deal a-and besides shouldn't you be working on this student festival thing?"

"We." Hikari corrected snidely, letting a box fall into Asuka's lap, making the other girls giggle and chuckle once more while Asuka tried to save face with as much dignity as she had left.

"I mean surely it could have been worse." Asuka said in a gruff voice as she kept working with one of the girls, Ayase, on an arrangement while she tried to hide a slight blush around her cheeks from being so close to her idol; she had been one of the first girls to rally around Asuka, not exactly a groupie since she was prone to going away every now and then but she was almost always around the small group, fluttering around Asuka while the rest of the girls made fun of her, even going so far as to try and dye her hair in the same hue as Asuka's but coming out more dark reddish brown than her idol's natural redhead color.

"I agree; kissing Ikari is some cruel and unusual punishment." Kagura, another one of the classmates, added as she folded a table cloth, pulling behind her ear a lock of black hair that had fallen of her high short ponytail as she made sure the design was placed neatly in the center before placing the floral arrangement in it and moving on to the next table to repeat the process.

"Hey Hikari…" One of the other girls, Matsuri, said aloud as she walked towards where the rest were after making sure the rest of the tables were already set. "Have you thought about our theme for this year's cultural festival?"

"Hmm not really." Hikari said softly. "Almost all the good ones have been taken already… there was that animal farm idea…"

"Yeah, I wanted to do that one." Ayase said with a slight smile, brushing her bangs from her eyes while blushing as she imagined how cool it would have been for all the girls to wear head bands with assorted fluffy animal's ears and tails attached to their backs.

"And then there was also that Anna Miller's idea…" Hikari mumbled, blushing unconsciously as she imagined how she would have looked dressed in that jumper-type miniskirt, already feeling her chest constricted imagining the high cut waistline, just below her breasts. _Although I'm sure the heart-shaped name tag and the apron would look really cute_.

"Oh please!" Kagura said in a low grumble, as she managed to finally arrange one of the ornaments the way she wanted. "Those are nothing but stupid wet dreams for perverts; animals and maid uniforms… I'm sure someone out there already suggested for us girls to do it dressed in our gym clothes or swimsuits…"

There was a deep silence as everyone turned to Kagura who turned from left to right before shrugging.

"My boyfriend's loser older brother is into that kind of stuff; that's why I never go to visit him at his place."

While the rest of the girls began to talk about ideas and themes one of them raised her hand, making Hikari look up and raise her hand, gradually quieting the room before she nodded.

"What is it Saori?"

"My cousin said she and her friends were thinking of coming over to check out our cafe; we could ask her to lend us some of her uniforms and make it a 'school girl cafe'." The normally quiet, mousy looking girl spoke as she rearranged her rounded glasses and brushed away the normally unruly bangs of brown hair from her eyes.

"Oh, really? She's coming to visit you?" Kagura asked, dropping the angry, tough girl attitude for a brief moment before Hikari cleared her throat noisily, preventing Saori from answering and making them look down in embarrassment.

"What school does she go to?"

"St. Mary's." Saori answered swiftly, making all the girls except Asuka 'ooh~' and 'aaah~' while the redhead simply stared at them all with a non-plussed look before grabbing a juice box from inside her book bag and sticking the straw inside, drinking noisily as the girls continued to chatter about the uniforms and how cute they were.

"Alright, ask your cousin if they wouldn't mind lending us their uniforms then, or if she knows where we can get them on our own." Hikari nodded as she checked her watch. "I think we have enough money on the budget to buy enough for the girls who will be waitress, and if we hurry we can buy them before the end of the day. Now let's put all the arrangements and everything back in their boxes and go home, we'll meet tomorrow for the big day."

Every girl nodded as they began to get everything ready, Saori staying behind as she spoke on her phone while Asuka looked at Hikari.

"What's so awesome about this St. Mary's school?"

"Well, it's an international catholic school, I don't know much about the religion, but something about it is so cool." Hikari gushed while Asuka rolled her eyes. "Besides, their uniforms are so cute! Red sweaters with checkered-green pleated skirts... it's like something out of a western movie."

"Yeah, yeah..." Asuka said simply as she shook her head, picking up her school bag while Saori nodded at both her and Hikari, and all three girls exited the classroom and the school to go get those uniforms. "You Japanese and your cult of cute are really weird."

* * *

"Can you pass the soy sauce?"

Misato prided herself of having an awesome woman's intuition; she instinctively knew when something was wrong; knew when Kaji was lying or when Ritsuko was trying to prank her... she even knew when Asuka was trying to use her things without her permission, or when Pen-Pen was stealing her beer.

"Did you finish everything?"

It truly was a blessing and a curse.

"Yes, and not thanks to you."

So right now, as she ate in silence with her two charges and her pet was busy reading the newspaper, Misato had that weird tingling feeling when things were wrong; at any given moment, in any normal day in the Katsuragi household, dinner would include Shinji cooking. _Check_. Misato possibly pushing her 8th beer. _Check again_. Pen-Pen putting her to shame by drinking her under the table AND having a better stock portfolio than her. _Also check, thanks for nothing, Nikkei_. And it would also have Asuka simultaneously teasing and antagonizing Shinji, which would make Misato actually push past the self imposed 'only 8 during the week' beer rule.

"-really wanted to help, but Toji had to uh... go to the hospital to check on his sist-"

And, as Misato masterfully summarized, the last part was NOT checked.

"Save it, idiot; we actually managed to get more done with you morons out of the way."

That could mean anything: That Shinji had managed to finally grow a spine and tell Asuka off; that Asuka had finally toned down her bratyness and decided to cut Shinji some slack, that both teens were now involved in a secret, deeply committed relationship trying to keep it from her for fear that she would drive them apart, making both Shinji and Asuka be the modern day equivalent of star crossed lovers like the epic story of that guy and that girl...

"-sides, it's not like Hikari was expecting you losers to actually pull your way around."

_No, not thoseItalian ones... the ones that became a cash-cow machine spanning countless remakes, movies, musicals, lunchboxes and even a Saturday morning cartoon_. Misato thought as her brow furrowed deeper, trying to remember what was the tragic couple she was thinking off. _What was their name?_

"-can help tomorrow clean up, th-that way you can come home early instead, Asuka."

"Why thank you Shinji, this lowly wench thanks you for thinking about her." Asuka said with an over-sugary tone while her face betrayed her actual annoyance, making the boy look away as he tried to do something to get back on the redhead's good side before Misato slammed her hands on the table, propelling herself up, eyes staring straight ahead before the mauve-haired woman spoke.

"Popeye the Sailor and Olive Oyl!"

Shinji and Asuka stared at Misato in confusion while Pen-Pen looked up from the news paper, shook his head and took a sip from his beer before going back to read.

"Even your stupid bird thinks you're an idiot Misato." Asuka said flatly as she picked up her plates and walked to the kitchen sink, setting them down and washing them while Misato reacted like the mature woman she was, sticking out her tongue at the redhead while balancing her chair precariously on the two hind legs as she opened her fridge, pulling out two more beers before falling back into place and opening them in a quick, fluid motion, sliding one towards Pen-Pen who accepted it with his flipper but never looked up from the newspaper.

"So what's got her royal highness in such a foul mood?" Misato asked Shinji who opened his mouth before Asuka cut him off.

"You still have to ask! Thanks to you, now the whole school thinks me and the idiot are dating!"

"Wh-what!" Shinji managed to squeak out while Misato flashed him a thumbs up, smiling.

"Way to go Shin-chan! Getting to be a grown up at such an early age, I'm so proud."

"You're not supposed to feel proud! You're the reason why people have this stupid idea in the first place!" Asuka shouted as she pointed the spray gun at Misato menacingly. "It's thanks to your stupid prank that I'm in this position!"

"Well, it's both your fault for looking so cute while sleeping together, all I did was take a few pics for my photo album." Misato answered as she shrugged and took another drink, while still staring at Asuka, knowing full well the irate redhead could fire at her at the slightest provocation, making sure to defuse the situation in the only way Misato was sure that could work.

"Besides, if you're gonna blame someone, it has to be Shin-chan; he's the one who kissed you."

By presenting a more suitable target.

Shinji blinked, at first unsure of what his name being dropped meant, until he began to replay the conversation in his head, slowly realizing Misato had just set him up to be the scapegoat, something all the more obvious as Pen-Pen was nowhere to be found, and Misato was already half way into her room, smiling at Shinji over her shoulder while bringing her hands up at her face in a silent 'I'm sorry' gesture before leaving the poor boy to his fate.

"She's right you know." Asuka said dispassionately from behind Shinji, making him squeak in surprise before slowly turning over to where the redhead was, silently wondering not if she was gonna punch him, but actually how hard she was going to do it. "This is all your fault; everything! from the fact that I have to live with a stupid pervert like yo to the fact that you stole my first kiss!"

"I didn't mean to!" Shinji said hurriedly as she tried to get up, only to feel Asuka putting her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, as her nails began to dig into the tender flesh, making him shut his eyes tightly, talking in quick, rushed sentences. "Be-besides, I..."

"You what?" Asuka spoke in a low, dangerous hiss.

Shinji stopped, looking up and staring into Asuka's eyes, before Kensuke's words came back at him, feeling them surge inside; he was right... even if Shinji didn't like confrontation, the time had come to tell Asuka to stop picking on him.

"And besides, you seemed to like it! You were moaning and grabbing my face! You're the one thinking more about that stupid kiss that I am!" Shinji said loudly in the otherwise silent apartment, and for a moment both teens could swear there had been a small, low sliding sound, alike when someone tries to push something to the side very, very slowly for fear of being caught, which made them both look in synchronicity towards where Misato's room was.

The small crack that had been visible a moment ago was closed quickly with a loud snap.

"I do not!" Asuka roared angrily, making Shinji falter for a bit but never backing down, instead, the boy stood his ground and stared down at the redhead, slowly the normally melancholic look that seemed to be forever etched in his face turning into an angry glare.

Asuka knew it wasn't very common to see Shinji angry, and right now, it was obvious how angry the boy was.

"What did you mean by that!" Shinji asked, standing in front of her, the kitchen table separating them both while they glared at each other; Shinji was panting, breathing hard, mostly from speaking in a loud tone, as if he wasn't used to exerting this much energy, content with staying quiet instead while Asuka glared at him, fists clenched tightly, trembling even, from the force.

"Exactly what I said, you idiot! I am not thinking about that kiss as much as you'd like to think!"

"You've been bringing it up every chance you have!" Shinji said in disbelief. "It's like every time you see me, you think about that kiss!"

"If I think about it, it's because you essentially raped me and stole my first kiss!" The redhead countered, raising her voice and succeeding in making the boy falter a bit, smirking victoriously before Shinji grimaced, looking away angrily after casting a furious look at Asuka.

"Who cares about your stupid kiss? It was an accident, so let it go already."

Asuka's mouth was open, her eyes stared straight ahead, but she was in shock, thoughts flaring angrily, thinking _How dare he? How dare he say that about my first kiss! Of course __**IT**__ matters! __**He**__ should care! __**He took it from me!**_

But all she could do was watch as Shinji walked away angrily from her, before he slid his own door angrily behind him.

"Third... don't you da- Hey! I'm talking to you!"

And in the silence and loneliness of the apartment at night, Asuka Langley Soryu vowed she'd get even at the idiot tomorrow, no matter what.

* * *

"Wow! This looks amazing!"

Shinji looked first to his left and then to via right, scanning the raves of those around him.

"Hey! Check that booth out! The girls are dressed as cave women!"

Quickly, he did a half-turn to look behind him, careful to cover all the possible angles and making sure Asuka wasn't trying to sneak past his blind spot before looking at Toji who let out a wolf whistle, low and full of appreciation at the girls in question while Kensuke kept recording everything and anything, making some of the boys smile and group together for a picture, the girls striking a pose while the boys did the same.

"She reminds me of Lum."

Both Shinji and Toji turned to give Keusuke a look while before they kept walking across the courtyard with the rest of the people attending, pointing and going from one booth to the other, bumping elbows with other children around their same age or older; some of them dressed still in their uniforms, some of them already changed into their street clothes while Shinji kept staring from side to side ever so often.

"Yo, Shinji! Would ya stop doing that? You're getting on my nerves."

Until Toji asked him very nicely to stop.

"I'm sorry." Shinji mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck while looking away. "It's just that when I woke up today I was making breakfast and Asuka left early and she said that she was gonna get even about the whole kiss thing."

"She's still going on about that?" Kensuke asked absently as he turned from one booth to another, focusing on the short skirts the girls were wearing While Toji places his arm around Shinji's shoulder.

"Look Shin-man... if we see the red devil come, we'll tell you so you can make a quick exit." Toji said reassuringly as he patted Shinji with gusto, smiling widely at him. "Besides, knowing her, she's probably terrorizing the other students in our class."

"Yeah." Kensuke chimed in, finally looking away from his camera. "I was there when they were about to dress up for the cafe theme and she turned to me and kicked me out of the room saying I wanted to tape them in their underwear."

"She knows you so well..." Toji said as Kensuke focused his camera on a group of girls as some of them giggled and flashed him a peace sign while the others hid behind them in embarrassment. "Speaking of which, I heard there's some hot chicks from some other school visiting."

"Yeah? What school?" Kensuke asked not really paying attention as he noticed one of the girls, a black haired one, kept staring, brushing and hiding her face every time Kensuke would even turn towards her, which made the sandy-haired boy blush as well.

"I dunno; they're wearing those checkered skirts and sweaters vests." Toji answered, oblivious to the fact those were the girls Kensuke was recording as his eyes laid on a delicious set of chicken skewers, licking his lips and savoring the smell before approaching the spot to buy some.

"Maybe we should go to the classroom and see how the girls are doing." Shinji said with as much conviction as he could; it didn't bug him that there were a lot of people as none of them were paying any attention to him, but he felt bad about being outside enjoying himself while Rei and Hikari and Asuka were inside, cooped up and working hard.

Besides, truth be told, Shinji was also curious about what was the theme the girls had chosen, and he hadn't been able to see the uniform yesterday and early today since Asuka gad left before he was even ready, but she did tell him to look out for himself, saying ominously to Shinji he should look forward to today .

"Whatever, if they needed us I'm sure the class rep would have already sent someone after us." Toji pointed out as he busied himself chewing the chicken pieces in his bamboo stick while Kensuke tried hard not to make a fool out of himself while attempting to muster the courage to go and talk to the mysterious girl in question before he began to slowly walk towards the group of girls, as Shinji and Toji stared half smiling, half amazed and completely silent, watching in the distance.

Whatever Kensuke had said, it had made the girl nod quickly but the blush never left her face and when she spoke, she did in low tones, judging by the way the girls around them both were trying hard to hear while appearing to be doing something else before both Kensuke and the dark-haired, bespectacled girl left on their own to look around while the girls stated at the departing couple for a few seconds before all of them began to squee and giggle, even though more than one had a look of envy in their face.

"Did Kensuke just managed to get a date?" Toji said after a moment while Shinji simply nodded, still not entirely sure of what had just happened as both boys kept staring at the group of girls; one in particular catching both their, as well as several other boys, eyes.

She seemed to be completely aloof, and would instead look every now and then towards where both boys were, and every time Shinji would gaze at this girl she'd smirk, as if knowing he was staring.

To be honest, it was hard no to; she was tall and slender, with auburn hair done into a pair of long ponytails that dangled from the back of the base of her neck.

Out of all the girls in her group she was the only one who wasn't wearing the red school blazer every other girl was wearing, instead showing of the crisp white shirt that had the school crest emblazoned on the breast pocket.

"Whoa."

Shinji wasn't sure who said that, Toji or someone else, but he nodded none the less; she wasn't the cutest from the group, and she seemed to be out of place as with the other girls, but there was something about her that seemed to make everyone around her stare.

Maybe it was the way her thigh-high stockings didn't seem to cover all of her legs; her skirt was obviously shortened, probably about 5 or 7 inches above her knee and her dark brown stockings seemed to stop several inches short below the edge of her skirt, with just barely enough exposed skin in such an absolutely minimal space it made every single guy stare.

For some reason, this girl had turned, catching Shinji's wandering eyes, smirking once more in such a way that when Shinji looked up to realize he had been caught, it reminded the boy of Misato; a kind of 'come-hither' look in her eyes that made the smirk all the more enticing and alluring.

"Shinji? I think you just hit the jackpot."

And now, the smirking girl was coming this way, locking eyes on him while Toji's words and voice echoed faintly and distantly, as if he had been speaking miles away and from the other side of a tunnel; all Shinji could see was this mysterious, alluring girl, noticing new things from her with ever single step she took towards him, passing him and throwing him a sideway glance before she walked inside the school.

* * *

"Hey! You two! Stop slacking around and bring in some more soba noddles!"

Hikari wasn't having a good time.

"Katsuko! Go and tell Idane that we need to use 2 more brakers to cook."

Herding a number of students and making them do what they're supposed to be doing was tiring, and so was having to split her time between minding her classrooms, walking through the halls and checking on her section and on top of that making sure everyone in their student cafe pulled their weight.

"Class Representative Horaki?"

As well as having to deal with the students themselves.

"Yes Rei?"

"Do I need to dress like this?" Rei pointed out to the school girl outfit that Hikari had given her, a slight, almost imperceptible frown marrying her face.

"Yes, Rei." Hikari said hurriedly as she turned around, looking for a certain redhead who was supposed to be in charge while she was out. "Everyone from the class agreed to wear that uniform."

"I did not agreed." Rei pointed out softly.

"You never spoke up, in fact, you left and said it was irrelevant or something, so those who don't speak up, agree by default." Hikari answered back before looking at Rei and frowning, noticing she wasn't wearing the wig or headpiece she had been assigned to wear. "Hey that wasn't the headpiece that was given to you."

"I exchanged it with Aragaki." Rei said, standing in front of Hikari perfectly straight, perfectly still, not a single muscle moving as if she were living statue.

"I don't have time for this now... where's Asuka?" Hikari grumbled as she rubbed her forehead, pinching the bridge of her nose for what felt like the 100th time today.

"Soryu left after saying she needed to go and pay back Ikari for what he did to her." Rei answered impassively as she played around with the tie she was supposed to wear, unsure of how to make a proper Windsor knot, while Hikari was checking how many water bottles, noodle packs and other supplies were still left, before she blinked and rose up, Rei's words finally registering in her mind, before she turned to Rei while trying to keep a calm face as the reality of what was going to happen hit her.

Asuka had gone to try and get even with Shinji.

Which could only mean that the redhead in question was gonna cause a huge scene, and that could mean that Hikari would be blamed for not maintaining order.

And that was exactly the kind of situation that Hikari would never allow to happen; such a huge blow to her ego, and to her standing as class representative demanded her to take matters into her own hands.

"Rei! We need to find ourselves a redhead." Hikari said as re-arranged her wig, grabbing Rei's hands and marching outside of the room. "You go look for her down the south wing, I'll look for her on the north wing and we'll meet outside by the big cherry tree, got it?"

* * *

"You need to lighten up, Shin... I mean, Kensuke managed to pick up a girl here. I'm sure that if you wanted to, you could pick up her friend, the cute one with glasses." Toji pointed out as if was the simplest answer while he and Shinji continued to walk from one both to the other to which Shinji only blushed.

"I'm not good with girls." Shinji answered back with as much conviction as he could, while still trying to be on the lookout of Asuka, to which Toji simply shook his head.

"You'll never know unless you try, man... next time we see that glasses chick, you go up to her and ask her out or something..."

Shinji opened his mouth before he stopped walking in the middle of the quad, muttering something under his breath, making Toji look up and see in the distance the familiar shapes and hair styles, even from behind: Asuka's red hair a stark contrast to the normal shade of dark brown and black around her, still made in those peculiar twin tails of her, the tufts of red hair sticking out while next to her Rei stood with her usual short, page-boy cut and icy blue hair, also sticking out.

Then it dawned on Toji. The best way to keep Shinji safe was to keep Asuka off him, and to do that, he would have to run some interception.

"Ok, Shinji, get inside and go to the roof, I'll make sure the devil follows me and I'll keep her busy." Toji said as he pushed Shinji inside of the school while keeping an eye on Asuka and Rei who were still looking around; while he had no clue what Rei was doing here, Toji could imagine the reason why Asuka was: to terrorize his friend some more.

And it was up to Toji to do something.

"Hey, devil! I heard you're looking for Shinji." Toji said as he pushed his way through the sea of people, advancing onto where both female pilots, grabbing Asuka's shoulder and pulling hard to get her attention in what, he now realized, was probably the stupidest, most suicidal move he could have done while Rei turned and stared at him with her red eyes, open and impenetrable at the same time.

And Toji could almost swear he saw Rei sport a small, minuscule smile on her lips.

* * *

Shinji blinked as he opened the door to the roof, closing it behind him and letting the sounds of the people inside die before he looked around, sighing; he had always liked to hang out in the rooftop since it was reasonably quiet, and not a lot of people seemed to come in here, so it had become the default hideout for Shinji, Toji and Kensuke.

"Why does she have to be so... like that?" Shinji wondered loudly to himself as he walked towards the rail to look at the quad, dragging his feet and hearing the crunching sounds they made as the soles scraped against the gravel of the floor, resting his arms on the hand rail and looking down, frowning as he tried to locate Asuka.

Because truthfully, he couldn't understand why she had to make such a huge deal out of this; he hadn't even decided to kiss the redhead; sure, once Shinji had realized what had happened, the kiss had been kind of nice, and Asuka did have kissable lips and the way she had began to gently suckle on Shinji's lower lip had been really, **really**, nice.

_Plus she is kind of cute._ Shinji thought as he sighed closing his eyes and rubbing his head, easing down his bangs before blowing them off from his face as he continued to brood.

"I just wish..."

Shinji sighed before casting one last glance at all the people underneath, noticing the familiar tracksuited figure of Toji as he stood in front of Asuka and Rei, before Toji looked up towards him and Shinji heard the sound of the door opening and closing again forcing him to turn around and noticing it was that strange girl who was holding the door closed, her back turned towards Shinji, panting hard as if she had ran before taking out a phone from inside her blazer.

"Yeah, it's me." The girl spoke on the phone in English too quickly for Shinji to understand but bits and pieces of the conversation itself; something about being here, that she had already gotten permission, that she would be back soon.

Shinji simply stared quietly at her, letting her voice fill in the silence before Shinji decided to leave the roof, knowing full well that being around this girl would probably be like being around any other girl: awkward, and weird, and would lead to him being tongue tied and maybe tripping on his own feet and making an ass out of himself.

"Alright, see you soon." The girl said before she finished her conversation and shut her phone closed, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes tiredly, turning halfway towards Shinji just as the boy was walking next to her and about to ask politely for her to let him pass, both crashing down, Shinji landing on his ass and the girl losing her grip on her glasses.

"Ack! My glasses!"

Shinji groaned as he looked up, staring at the girl as she tried to grab her glasses which had somehow ended underneath one of the ceiling fans, unwillingly giving Shinji a nice look of her butt , wiggling it as she tried over and over to reach them before finally achieving victory, putting them on and straightening her back, looking at Shinji out of the corner of her eyes as the boy remained quiet, staring at this strange girl, noticing her lips moving which made him blink quickly, finally registering she was asking him something.

"Huh? What?"

The girl looked at Shinji as is he had asked a question that was supremely 'stupid', staring at him through her glasses before she let out a sigh and shook her head.

"I said don't you watch where you're going?" The girl asked again as she dusted herself, staring at Shinji who still stared up at her, too shocked to say or do something until the girl rolled her eyes and gave Shinji her hand.

Shinji stared at it curiously, staring up at the girl and then down again, taking her in and noticing all of her: how her short-sleeved shirt fitted her frame perfectly, even somewhat tightly around her chest, the top buttons undone, letting her green tie fall casually; how her hair was kept back by a blue headband that had a couple of white berets almost on top of her ears and how her clear, bright blue eyes confined behind red-framed glasses, her lips curled into a mischievous, tantalizing little smirk.

Before he finally took her hand and the girl pulled him up.

"Ugh! You're kind of heavy." She said pointedly before she walked to the hand rail and stared at the people there with a small smile playing in her lips while Shinji simply stared before he finally got the courage to speak up.

"You're that girl... the one I saw earlier."

"Huh? What?" She asked, blinking before staring at Shinji who cautiously placed a hand on the rail.

"My friend... he asked your friend out?" Shinji said cautiously, slowly. "You know... glasses, sandy hair, freckles?"

The girl remained quiet for a few seconds, narrowing her eyes at Shinji, as if trying to place his face before she looked up, index finger placed against her cheek.

"Hmm... oh right! The geek who asked Mayu out!" She said before turning to Shinji, giving him a smirk not saying anything, and making Shinji feel like he should do something.

"Uh... I-I'm Shinji."

The girl blinked, processing this before her smirk widened and she stood up, extending her hand.

"Mari... Mari Makinami."

"Makinami?" Shinji repeated, letting the syllables roll in his mouth before he let out a small laugh. "That sounds like a friend's last name."

"Oh really? Is your friend by any chance really pale, with blue hair, red eyes and talks in a monotone?"

"Y-yes, she is, why?"

"Look over there…" Mari said with a wide smile as she pointed out to a place near the big, imposing cherry tree in the quad.

From here, it was almost as if Asuka was berating Toji, while Rei simply stared impassibly while Toji seemed to be at loss for words, trying to defend himself while pointing at Asuka, then at Rei then back at Asuka and then towards the general direction of the school roof.

"Seems like she's in the middle of a boyfriend/girlfriend fight." Mari said cheekily, and for some reason that made Shinji frown; while he had never thought of them that way, the idea of Toji and Asuka being boyfriend and girlfriend didn't sit well on him, making his stomach churn, feeling the back of his throat burn, and his stomach tighten at its pit, as if someone had punched him there, taking his breath away.

"Th-they're not... Toji hates her." Shinji said softly, making Mari stare at him and then at the couple, sporting a knowing smirk, before she opened her mouth to say something but Shinji wasn't listening; instead he was staring straight at them both, knuckles turning white as he grabbed onto the rail with such force the muscles in his arms were straining, and trembling, making Mari blink and turn to where he was staring.

That was when she noticed that the tall, brown-haired boy had been grabbed by the redhead; Asuka's hands were cupping Toji's face steadily before she leaned forth and planted her lips on his, kissing him firmly as he slowly began to kiss the redhead back, his arms slowly circling her waist, not letting her get away as onlookers stopped and looked at this, some of them cheering, some of them with their mouth agape, and others looking away in embarrassment.

And all the while, Rei kept staring at them both, unblinking and without betraying any emotion on her face before she looked in the distance towards the roof, noting the figures there, as one slowly slid down the rail, and it almost seemed as if the figure's shoulders began to shake to a somewhat rushed tempo.

* * *

"So... you kissed her by accident, and when she said you had stolen her first kiss, you said it wasn't that big a deal, but now that she kissed someone else, you suddenly feel she... what?" Mari stopped before she looked at Shinji, frowning. "She cheated on you?"

They had been sitting there for so long, Shinji felt his legs and his butt were numbed and cramped, and Mari was now standing up and leaning against the rail, staring at him while Shinji simply kept staring at the floor, as if something fascinating was there, even if the only thing he could see over and over was the moment Toji and Asuka were together, kissing.

While all that he could do was watch from afar.

After a few minutes of silence, and once she had realized Shinji wasn't going to say much more, Mari let out a frustrated sigh.

"Well, this has all been really interesting but I really have to get going." Mari said as she pushed herself away from the rail and looked at Shinji who simply remained there, immovable and silent, just like he had before.

"Hey come on! Are you coming or not?"

Shinji wondered if telling Mari to get lost would make the girl simply shrug and go away, or try harder to make him to stand up leave, before he realized he was too tired, emotionally spent and mentally weak to the point where even considering doing something felt like a monumental chore.

"Hey! Are you stupid or something? Let's leave this roof already!" Mari tried once more and as soon as the words were said, Shinji looked up mechanically, looking at Mari, glaring at her with such unbridled anger Mari became quiet almost immediately before she clicked her tongue, making a 'tch' sound and shrugging her shoulders.

"I don't understand why are you so angry about it." Mari tried once more, before her playful smirk returned, pouting her top lip and curling the lower one underneath it, looking like a cat's face would as she narrowed her eyes and walked playfully towards Shinji, who tried to back away, but ended up pressing his back painfully against the rail while Mari got on all four, invading his personal space and ignoring the worried look in his eyes, or the bright blush on his face, but aware of the faint breath coming from his lips and nose, his scent invading Mari's own nose.

"Unless... you like her..."

Shinji's look faltered for a second before he looked away, keeping an obstinate silence before he felt Mari's hand on his cheek, making him look at her, and noticing how close her face was to his.

"Is that it? Do you like her?"

Shinji swallowed hard before nodding slowly, while Mari's eyes danced mischievously.

"Do you want to get even at her?" The brunette asked softly, and Shinji could feel her, all of her, her body making contact with his own body, legs bumping and thighs brushing and hands on top of hands with fingers meeting and cheeks touching lightly, breath upon breath as Mari's big, blue eyes were all he could see, and her breath was all he could taste, and her smell was all he could feel.

He didn't even got a chance to nod, or say anything; Mari had slowly pushed her free hand against the back of Shinji's head, fingers brushing and cupping the soft hair at the nape of his neck before her lips descended on him, in what he could only imagine had been a replay to the first kiss he had ever shared with a girl, and while the soft, gentle pressure on his lips felt warm and mellow and tender and delicate, all that Shinji could see when he closed his eyes was Toji kissing Asuka.

And all he could imagine was how it had felt when he realized Asuka was kissing him.

And that was when he had to run away, pushing Mari away and scrambling to his feet and running towards the door, opening it angrily and running down the flight of stairs as time and space seemed to collapse together in such a way that before Shinji could realize it, he was already out of the school.

And he never stopped running, until he reached Misato's apartment, opening the door, ignoring Pen-Pen welcoming him, as he ran to his room, shutting the door closed, and lying under his bed sheets, covering himself.

Before he finally realized what had happened, what he had lost, and what he was willing to do to get it back.

* * *

The light that was coming from the kitchen were what rose him from his sleep; the sound of a voice humming softly a song was what made him aware that Asuka was home.

Aska continued to hum as she went from pantry to pantry, taking out ingredients and putting them along with the ones she had already out, cutting and chopping vegetables as she put them on a pan, before the smell of her cooking began to fill the small kitchen, before she turned around and came face to face with Shinji, letting out a small squeak of surprise.

For what felt like an eternity none of them moved, or said anything; in fact they didn't do anything at all, the only sounds in the apartment came from the clock as it ticked the seconds away, the pan as its contents sizzled, and the two teenagers breaths and beating harts, faint and impossible for each one to hear the others, even if they each felt like they were deafening loud, minimizing anything else that could be heard.

Shinji licked his lips slowly while Asuka, who had been holding her hand to her chest and had been slightly hunched as if she had been expecting Shinji to attack her, slowly began to stand straight, before she spoke, but Shinji couldn't hear her; he knew she was saying something because her lips were moving, but it all came out distorted, unintelligible, the words crashing unto themselves, collapsing and becoming simply a mixture of sounds that held no real meaning because all Shinji needed to hear, all the words he needed to understand were written in Asuka's eyes, even if she wasn't aware of it.

Which was how Shinji slowly began to walk towards Asuka, and the girl reflectively took a step back for each one the boy took forth, as if it were a rehearsed slow dance, full of cadence: one minute Shinji and Asuke seemed to be separated by a gaping void, the other he was so close he could slowly reach out and touch her.

Asuka felt her backside pressed against the kitchen table, her arm pushing against the refrigerator, realizing she had nowhere else to go, her voice sounding with more urgency, louder and harsher, but Shinji kept walking to her with slow, deliberate steps, face calm, never stopping to stare directly into Asuka's eyes, before he was finally inches away from her.

Slowly he reached up and cupped her face, while Asuka kept talking and Shinji kept ignoring her; maybe she was asking Shinji to stop it, maybe she was asking him what was wrong, maybe she was trying to find out why he hadn't stayed to help clean up.

It didn't really matter to Shinji, after that accidental kiss in Misato's car, he had never really stopped to think about Asuka in this manner; maybe he was as much of an idiot as the redhead constantly said he was, or maybe it was just that he had never felt she could be taken away.

Or maybe it had been the idea of her kissing someone else, someone he had never even considered to be a rival that had started this chain reaction inside of him.

Shinji probably didn't really know, and more than likely didn't even care.

Because right now, just as Asuka raised her hands to try and push him away, he simply grabbed them, not too harsh, but not really gently; just with enough force to make the redhead know he had something to say and he needed to say his peace.

"Asuka... I saw you kissing Toji today..." Shinji began in a small, shallow voice that made Asuka give Shinji a look that he wasn't sure if it was confusion, embarrassment, or annoyance, but before the redhead could say a word, Shinji kept talking, making the words rush out, pressing forward, and never letting go of the offensive.

"I didn't think it'd hurt, but then some other girl kissed me and I realized I didn't want another girl kissing me, I wanted you to kiss me, and I wanted to be the one kissing you."

Asuka opened her mouth, but nothing came out, it was clear she was trying to string a sentence but for some reason she wasn't able to say what was on her mind, so Shinji continued, speaking in a calm, even tone, as if he had blindly found out something he wasn't even aware he had been looking for.

"So that's exactly what I'm gonna do right now; in about ten second, I'm planning on kissing you and if you don't want me to kiss you..."

Shinji faltered, swallowing and staring at Asuka who was now staring at him, quiet, chest heaving, taking deep breaths, face flushed and feeling a very peculiar heat coursing through her body, but still feeling compelled to stare defiantly at Shinji with a quiet sense of determination, as if daring him to finish his words.

"I-if you don't want me to kiss you then I guess you're just gonna have to stop me..."

Both teens stayed there, staring at each other, lips a breath apart, before Asuka finally opened her mouth, wetting her lips, still staring at Shinji before she spoke up.

"Ten."

And then she kissed him.

And in the kitchen table, next to Asuka's book bag lay the brown wig with the blue head band and the red-rimmed glasses, along with the uniform from Seisen International School she had been wearing today all day at school as part of the classroom student cafe waitress staff.

* * *

AN: Yes, I have watched it, no I didn't like it and didn't like Shikinami either, and yes, I subscribe to (and started) the crazy idea that Mari is really Asuka Soryu in deep cover.

Also, the title should stand for Power of Suggestion, but you are free to think the original thought fits it better.

As far as the idea of "how couldn't Shinji recognize it was Asuka in a wig with glasses" I'll use the Superman-Clark Kent defense of 1969. There's precedent, look it up.

Pre-reader thanks: Legendary, AngelNo13Bardiel, soul. assassin.547, and fraulein Kaname Langley (though she was only getting her EB!fix and was mainly hitting me on the head)


	16. Kiss 07, Way 07

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes: K - 7. (Good Morning) W - 7. (superstar)**

**Title: Red Threads  
**

**_A.N.: I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story._**

**_This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."_**

**_It all snowballed from there._**

**_

* * *

_**

**_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._**

**_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._**

**_And we connect to each other deeply._**

**_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._**

**_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_**

* * *

"_Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu_"

Shinji looked over his shoulder as he finished cleaning the plates, noticing Pen-Pen was busy watching the TV as the weather girl, Miss Rie Anami, was making a report from the nearby shrine; while a lot of the shrine-goers were busy in the _Gongen_, the station seemed to be busy on the lesser known neighborhood shrines that seemed to be scattered around Tokyo-3.

"_There's a small Shinto shrine nestled in this particular neighborhood,_" the attractive young woman began as she allowed the camera man to focus on the people as they walked around the small space, saying their prayers and giving their emoluments while Anami continued talking."_Its stone pathway, a unique square stone path leading from the main building to the small graveyard adjacent has a beautiful moss-covered stone jizo-san, leading on a tranquil way towards the shrine; both the main building of the shrine and the bell building has a foot-thick roof made from natural grasses and sticks._"

Shinji had to give it to the news caster; she was cute, funny and had a nice voice; while Toji and Kensuke would watch her show due to the girl's penchant for using tight blouses and flowing skirts, Shinji actually liked to close his eyes and just listen to the soft melodic tones of Anami's voice, making him remember a thousand and one things from his past without trying, simply by the way she would speak about the water and the clouds and the trees and the city.

Pen-Pen warked and Shinji chuckled, imagining the penguin being a human, oohing and aahing at the sight as the on-screen personality continued walking past young girls and boys accompanying their parents or grandparents, some dressed in kimonos while others were dressed in a more western fashion.

"_These small neighborhood shrines are special because there is nothing elaborate or lavish about them, unlike the highly touristic shrines such as Tosho-gu or even the Gongen itself; these small shrines, however, are those that locals visit regularly, at which they pray and worship._" Anami continued as she brushed one of her bangs; after almost fourteen years of nothing but summer and tropical climates in Japan, slowly the weather seemed to have began to stabilize, and a few weeks ago the air had began to slowly but consistently grow heavier, colder... giving it a winter feeling as she walked from her spot towards a random person who was busy praying, back against the camera as Shinji allowed himself a brief passing glance before going back to drying the dishes.

"_While these small shrines may not have much historic or architectural significance, there is so much personal significance, and that personal significance is the beauty of travel, now, isn't it? What are you wishing for, miss?_"

"WARRK!"

Shinji blinked, hearing the penguin's cry as the same time as a familiar voice crossed the airwaves, feeling a slight case of migraine as Misato seemed to commander the camera man, taking the microphone away from the TV newscaster.

"_I came here because we're supposed to come on the first day but I have to be at work. And I just want to give a shout out to Kaji and my roommates, Shinji and Pen-Pen, Hi guys! Look at me! I'm on TV!_"

Shinji and Pen-pen turned to each other before turning back to the TV and watching as Misato and Miss Anami battled each other for the microphone, before a certain redhead walked behind Misato, giving her a swift bop to the head, and giving Anami back her microphone before angrily scolding Misato on TV.

"_Misato! Stop screwing around and get ready! It's time to get the back!_"

He didn't even need to see her to know her; Asuka's voice was as distinct as she was and the camera man had no choice but to focus on the redhead, and really; Shinji couldn't fault him.

While Misato was dressed in her typical Nerv uniform of a black turtleneck sweater and matching flight jacket and skirt, Asuka had actually gone the extra mile and dressed in a kimono, pulling her hair in twin ponytails as opposed to the typical fashion she always wore.

But instead of using her A-10 neural connectors, she wore hair pins that resembled _sakura_ cherry flowers; red with sparkling white; her white skin and bright blue eyes making a perfect match. Her hair was as vibrant and red as the kimono she wore; overall a deep dark crimson with speckles of white from the bottom in the form of _sakura_, closed around her waist tightly by a black and blue sash.

Rie looked from Misato to Asuka as the redhead tugged angrily at the older woman, grumbling and chastising her before the news caster seemed to remember she was on air and turned to the camera to sign off.

"_And so, in this last day of the year, we see how younger people are still tasked of taking care of their elders in a cycle that never seems to end. For T3TV I'm Rie Anami wishing you all aGood morning, and a happy new year._"

"They're still showing that?"

Shinji turned towards the hallway, noticing Asuka walking in dressed in a less ornate way; just a simple yellow top and blue skirt; feet bare, of course, but Shinji figured Asuka would like to feel her feet free after having them encased in the _tabi _socks and _zaori_ sandals they had been when she and Misato had come back.

"Yeah, there's talk about how you and Misato are gonna be on the news at eleven as well." Shinji said with a small smirk, making sure to hide it from the redhead as he turned his back to her and busied himself further with the dishes while Pen-Pen was now warking happily to the tune of a beer commercial.

"It was all Misato's fault; she had to go and steal the microphone from that other bimbo and she was making a fool out of herself, I only intervened to make it stop when it crossed the line from funny to pathetic." Asuka said angrily as she walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator, bending at her waist as she extracted a can of juice before Pen-Pen warked at the redhead, making her roll her eyes, but extract a can of beer for the bird nonetheless, tossing it in a low arch as the penguin waited for it with outstretched claws and open beak.

"Thank you Aka! I needed a beer just now."

Only for Misato to catch it at the last possible second, leaving Pen-Pen to stare angrily at his owner, warking angrily which only earned him a confused look from the older woman, before she quickly cracked it open and took a sip while Pen-Pen did something akin to a sigh before getting off his couch and waddling towards Asuka, standing on the tips of his flippers before taking out a beer, holding it by it beak before showing it to the redhead as she opened it and put a straw inside, giving it to the bird as it waddled happily back to the couch while Misato simply looked at it all without blinking an eye.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for the big New Year's bash?" Asuka asked after a moment, eyeing Misato's outfit, cut-off jeans and strap tanktop as Misato walked towards the table, sashaying and smiling before bumping her hips against Asuka's shoulder

"Ehh... we had the end of year party yesterday... it was funny seeing Sub-commander Fuyutsuki dressed as a _shinto _priest and making a fool out of himself willingly as opposed to accidentally, like that one time with the elevator and the lights..." Misato said happily, almost as if she were still a bit dazed from the drinking while Asuka and Shinji shook their heads respectively at the way their guardian was behaving.

"Yeah, but we still have the other party, the one by the temple..." Asuka pointed out as she jumped on top of the kitchen counter top, leaning back while Shinji tried hard not to stare at the wiggling legs and hips of the redhead as Asuka let out a happy sigh when she finally grabbed an apple, taking a bite before she spoke again with her mouth half-full. "That's the one I'm talking about."

"Ehh, there's enough time yet," Misato said, smiling and winking as she pointed at the clock hanging on the wall behind the children. "Besides, we still need to get some supplies before leaving! I need some grapes and a cup, and red and yellow panties..."

Asuka and Shinji stared at each other as Misato trailed off, standing up and walking into her room, extracting a small plastic bag and smiling lazily at both children, pulling out a pair of panties, one red with a heart on the back and one yellow with a yen sign on the front from the bag inside while making her way into the kitchen.

"That's lame even for you, Misato." Asuka's tone was flat and bored while Misato stuck out her tongue at her.

"Grapes and panties?" Shinji asked quietly to Asuka as the redhead watched it all with an uninterested look in her face, taking a small drink from her can while shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah! I read all about those New Year's traditions!" Misato's voice came muffled from inside the refrigerator as the mauve-haired woman tried to get some grapes before realizing she had forgotten to buy any. "Red panties for love, yellow for money; you sweep around the house to go on a trip with one of those consecrated bamboo brooms made of hemp and pine and uh..."

"Those are western traditions! Aren't you Japanese?" Asuka asked angrily after a moment of seeing Misato make a fool out of herself as per usual. "Shouldn't you be cleaning the apartment instead? Or making a gate pine and an enclosing rope?"

Misato stopped short as Shinji gave Asuka a bemused look, smiling gently while Misato pouted at the redhead before answering.

"Are you sure you're just **half **Japanese? I'm not sure even Shinji knows about the enclosing rope."

"I'm just a quarter Japane- that's not the point!" Asuka talked back with an angry tone, just like she did every time her mixed origin was mentioned, and Shinji unconsciously clenched his hands into fists just like he did every time the subject was brought up.

"Oh come on Aka, I'm only joking; if you keep this up, then we'll miss the red and white year-end song festival; besides, we did all we had to do today, we even went to the temple today and offered our new years, didn't we?" Misato said as she gave the redhead a surprise hug, pressing the young girl against her chest, as the girl tries to push herself away, her angry protests coming out as muffled sounds.

"God Misato! Stop screwing around!" The redhead finally managed to get out while pushing Misato away by her sholders as Shinji turned away with a blush on his face, trying hard not to look like he was watching all of this with more interest than it was needed as Asuka freed herself with a loud groan, finally succeeding in pushing the older girl away who immediately went limp, falling on top of the irate redhead. "Besides, _baka _Shinji stayed asleep... why did I have to wake up early today!"

"I needed someone to drive me after last night's party." Misato said carelessly as she began to open up the cupboard doors, looking for something to eat before turning to Shinji and giving him a smile that made the boy roll his eyes. The boy stood up, getting a bowl and pouring some cereal on it before serving it for Misato as she sat cross-legged in the table chair, looking rather pleased with herself. "And you wanted a chance to show off your brand new driver's license, didn't you?"

"I was thinking more about going out at night with Hikari to the movies or the mall, and not going to the temple at the other side of town." The redhead grumbled while Shinji simply tuned them out and kept working on the sink, the soft sounds of scrubbing and washing intermixing with Asuka and Misato's words.

"So... how's the day been so far Shinji?"

"I woke up ten minutes ago..." Shinji said as she rubbed his eyes; the good thing about having a day off, was precisely that; being able to wake up late, do nothing around the house, just bum and lounge and think about silly little things while watching the minutes slowly tick away; with no schoolwork pending, and no impeding testings from Nerv, Shinji had done just that: he had woken up early, only to turns around and sleep again, waking again in mid afternoon, doing some light cleaning, and then going back to sleep.

"Ahh~" Shinji stopped short as the tone form Misato's exclamation registered in his voice, normally, this tone could only mean one thing; tease.

"Did you have one of those dreams about me and Aka?" Misato said with a wink, ignoring Asuka's look and angry shout of "What?" as Shinji stood there in a stunned silence while Misato continued as if nothing was wrong. "Did you dream Asuka was dressed in nothing but a _happy new year_ banner?"

Asuka turned from Misato to Shinji, face growing more and more red with each passing second as Shinji tried valiantly to keep a straight face, something he found harder with each moment as Asuka kept giving him the evil eye.

Of course, that made Misato try harder still to embarrass both teenagers.

"What about me? Shinji Ikari, you big Casanova you..."

"Wh-what! I di-" Shinji exclaimed, only to be cut off by Misato ruffling Shinji's bangs, pushing his head down a bit forceful as Asuka turned to look the other way with her nose held high, and grumbling under her breath about perverts and guardians who were even more perverted which made Shinji glare at the redhead.

"Well, in any event, are you two ready to party like it's 1999?" Misato exclaimed as she stretched before making her way towards her room, walking back out with a slinky black mini-dress, smiling broadly.

"Misato, that phrase was old in 1998." Shinji said dryly, not being the least bit concerned about the fact that he wasn't even born in that moment but Shinji knew about it, about life before the impact; about how before September 13th, 2000, the world changed without people having a say-so in it; simply by the designs of men that were in over their head at the time, and who had no other solution but to push forth.

Misato knew this as well, she had been there; she had a front row seat; and Shinji would sometimes wonder how can she live on, knowing what she knows, living what she lived... how can she look forward to a new year when the last ones had nothing but grief and pain?

Or Asuka, she seemed out of place celebrating anything; it's like all the time, the redhead had an axe to grind, something to keep her from being happy and full; it was silly little things that would make the redhead shout and explode at the smallest detail, but lately, she had began to mellow out as well.

And then, there was Rei...

"Anyway, I should really do the laundry or something..." Shinji finished, cutting himself off, not really wanting to go there, turning around and walking towards the washroom while Misato looked at Shinji with concern while Asuka tried not to look at him in the same way.

"Hey! No need to be so gloomy." Misato said in a childish tone of voice, as if she were trying to remind Shinji of the happiness of holidays, while the boy didn't answer, probably already busy separating the colors from the whites from the solids. "Come on Shinji, it's New Year's; you do that every day! One day won't put a cramp in your style."

"Same procedure every year," Asuka added under her breath, grumbling before she got up and went to get herself a bottle of water, turning around and noticing Shinji was walking back to the kitchen.

The boy had a different look; it wasn't excitement, more like guilt; and knowing Shinji, it _WAS_ guilt. Guilt about probably making Misato miserable in a holiday she seemed to enjoy, guilt about being the downer of the party, guilt about being himself.

"I... I guess... what would we do, anyways?" the boy said as he sat down with a sigh and Misato turned to look from Shinji to Asuka before she flashed them both a smile.

"Well... Asuka was right... we need to make a Pine gate and put it in the corner near the door," the mauve-haired woman said as she got up, walked to one of the doors near the entrance and pulled out a box which contained _ume_ and pine and bamboo, along with a roll of rope made from straw, still packed in cellophane with a sticker that said "newly woven". "You do know how they are done, right?"

Shinji's face was blank, but Asuka could see in his eyes how boring this seemed to him, not like she could say it wasn't, but the girl had lately felt... something; as if something she had never know was lacking had finally revealed itself, making the German-Japanese teenager realize she wasn't whole, that she needed something more, a void that she thought could only be filled by being an elite pilot of Eva.

But it wasn't enough; there was something else, something missing; it was like a loneliness she could never stop feeling; like being alone in a crowd, seeing everyone walk past her, not caring, not turning around, as if she wasn't there at all.

"Ok, first, we get these bamboo shoots and arrange them from tallest to smallest," Misato announced as she began to fidget with the three bamboo pieces, placing the tallest one in the center, while the second tallest one was to the left and the smallest once was placed on the right, before securing them with the pine and _ume_ at the base while pulling out a length of rope. "Then we get an enclosing rope and put it here so we can bind the evil spirits; after all, the fundamental function of the New Year ceremonies is to honor and receive the _toshigami_ who will then bring a bountiful harvest for farmers and bestow the ancestors' blessing on everyone."

Asuka rolled her eyes at the explanation, even if she knew a bit about the whole philosophy behind this; how the bamboo represented heaven, humanity and earth, and how the bamboo, pine and _ume _represented represent longevity, prosperity and faithfulness; how all three represented the tenacity of humanity, living on earth, under heaven and trying to attain a better tomorrow.

_Angels... spirits... do I need to put a horseshoe on the door to protect us from time-travellers too?_

Shinji frowned as he continued to put everything together for his pine gate, working diligently even if he didn't believe a lot in what he was doing, he was used to working and living through the motions; this wasn't any different from coming to Tokyo-3, and piloting the Evangelions; like many children born after second impact, living in a broken world, spirituality wasn't big on his list, and neither was traditional celebration, but Shinji did as he was told because Misato expected him to.

"Now, here in Japan, binding ropes represent a ward against evil spirits, but first we need to purify the rope and to do that we need to wave them together and then let them soak in sake before putting them on top of the door to ward the place." Misato added as she walked to one of the cupboards and pulled out a sake bottle and a small basin, pouring some on the container before she took a hearty swig, letting out a whoop and ignoring Shinji's and Asuka's annoyed but amused look, while they both started to weave the ropes together, Asuka complaining about how stiff and hard the rope was while Shinji pointed out that they should leave it soak for a few minutes, and Misato smiled at both children as she continued telling them how she and Kaji and Ritsuko used to do this a long time ago, so long it felt like an eternity and more.

"Misato, don't drink the sake you're using to purify the rope," Asuka pointed out without even looking up while Shinji nodded, both children engrossed in what they were doing while Misato looked away, caught red-handed.

"Hey, it's tradition! You need uhm... to take a quick drink to make sure the sake is not spoiled, otherwise the ritual won't work," Misato supplied quickly, making Asuka look up, blinking and turning to Shinji who simply shook his head silently as Asuka rolled her eyes, mumbling something about her being not really interested in the general culture lesson, while Misato kept talking about what the pines were supposed to mean before she began to twist and pull and braid together the rope.

"Yeah, you know what is another tradition I miss? The Kotatsu." Misato said dreamily as she began to put the finishing touches in on one of the pine gates, before she looked up, smiling.

"Teacher used to have one of those..." Shinji said in a calm voice, almost as if the fact that he was picking up the conversation was the only natural thing to do; speaking in soft, even tones as both Shinji and Misato reminisced about the warm and cozy low table, Misato talking about how she enjoyed it in Germany while living there with Kaji and whenever Ritsuko would drop by and visit them, all three would share a nice time sitting around on the cold winter nights, a futon blanket sandwiched between the tabletop and the table framework, feeling as their legs stayed toasty warm while eating and drinking, studying and relaxing at the same time.

"Alright, I need to go buy some supplies for that thing at the shrine and pick up Rei to come here and get ready," Misato announced after some time before showing one of the finished pine gates to Shinji and Asuka, standing up and grabbing her keys and some money from her wallet. "Think you two can finish the other one by the time I return?"

Both children said yes in their own particular way; Shinji nodding without saying anything as he wove the twine and hemp together, tying it off with some red thread to make sure the braided rope would stay in shape while Asuka grumbling a half-hearted yes, as she arranged the _ume_, pine and bamboo as if she had always taken the _ikebana_ classes needed to do so, making Misato stop at the entrance and turn over to look at them both, smiling softly to herself before closing the door behind her but not before getting in a last word.

"And afterwards... you two will have to hold a song-off!"

* * *

It started with something small and simple, like most things normally do.

Shinji had been working nonstop, tying the rope and hemp over and over when and tried to reach for some more rope, just as Asuka reached over to grab some pine twigs, causing them both to brush hands.

Both felt it immediately; it wasn't like an electric shock, or anything like that, but more like a warm sense of familiarity, of reconnecting with something that had once been there... fingers moving slowly, almost as if they were doing so on their own accord before both teens realized it, noticing their finger tips pressing against one another and pulling their hands away immediately, as Asuka looked down on what she was doing and Shinji looked away, both children trying not to notice in this synchronic dance of theirs the way their faces were both red.

"This... it doesn't feel right..."

"Huh?" Shinji said without looking up, but already feeling the pit of his stomach growing with dread at the words filling him with the familiar feeling on not being wanted, reliving the way his father had walked away, the way the teacher that had been taking care of him had treated him; the cold looks, the clipped words, the anger and resentment so tangible they could be seen as some sort of miasma covering the people around him, pushing him away into loneliness and despair.

But this time it hurt a bit more, perhaps more than Shinji would like to admit, because over the past months, he had slowly began to allow himself to feel like this was his family; his real family.

Because family wasn't just calling someone 'father' or 'mother', or 'sister' or 'brother'; family meant hot baths when morning was just breaking, and toast and coffee and walks to school.

Family meant walking back from school and stopping to buy an ice cream, or drink something, or smelling warm food being cooked, even if it was instant; it meant late nights watching reruns on TV, and sleeping in until late in the afternoon during off days.

Or at least, that what Shinji had thought, but it was obvious Asuka...

"The _kadomatsu_... It doesn't look right."

"Huh?" Shinji said, blinking quickly as he looked up, staring at Asuka as she looked away, blushing and mumbling as she seemed to fidget with pine gate, noticing how the redhead was staring intently at it, but as far as the boy could tell, there was nothing wrong; the pine and _ume _were placed in a nice design along with the bamboo trunks, until he realized the twine tying it all together was a bit loose.

"Here, let me hold it and you tie it tighter," Asuka ordered just as Shinji attempted to do the same, rubbing fingers once again, and as Shinji gulped but remained motionless, holding the pieces together, Asuka simply stared at their fingers pressing, rubbing... touching one another, before Shinji finally pulled his hand away.

"So-sorry..."

Asuka blinked as she slowly looked up and stared at Shinji, trying to keep a cool face even if inside it felt like someone had slapped her cheek; a sharp, stinging impact that seemed to echo in her center with memories of her life in Germany, of how it felt to not be wanted, to not have a family, even if her father and her new mother said the opposite, Asuka knew they were just words, words with no deeper meaning or feelings than the time her father had promised her mother to never leave her, only to abandon all hope and love as soon as Kyoko began to show the impact of the contact experiment on her mind.

"Come on idiot... let's get this one ready..."

But still, Asuka kept a straight face, peppered with some irritation, which meant she was glaring at Shinji coolly, noticing how as much as he tried to do a decent job straightening the bamboo, his hands were shaking so badly it was impossible to keep it straight

"So hopeless," Asuka said angrily, as if she had suddenly realized how she was supposed to act, grabbing a hold of Shinji's hands and ignoring his surprised look or how her cheeks felt like they were on fire before finally making Shinji hold the bamboo pieces straight and she began to tie it all with the rope.

"Here, hold it like this," Asuka finished but her voice wavered a little, just as she let go of Shinji's hand before she brought all the pieces together and began to tie them tightly, sticking out the tip of her tongue as she did that, giving the redhead an air of playfulness and child-like innocence while Shinji simply stared. before Asuka stopped, smiling a small, faint smile and nodding, pleased with herself. "There! Now lets put it outside."

"Ri- right." Shinji nodded, just as Asuka was already standing up and grabbing hold of one of the handles, waiting for the boy to do the same before they both began to wobble their way outside of the apartment, Asuka fighting with herself to not look too munch into this action while Shinji tried to not look too much at Asuka, just as them both reached the entrance of the apartment and putting the container housing the pine gate on the ground and staring at it for a long time in silence, until Asuka finally spoke.

"So this is how you celebrate New Year's?"

The question was asked quietly, so unlike the normally loud voice from the redhead, which made Shinji grumble, pressing his lips tightly against the other and let out a sigh before he shook his head ever so slowly.

"I've never really celebrated..." Shinji said after a moment as he got down on his knee, staring at the pine gate, frowning before he continued after a beat. "My teacher generally went off to see his parents, and I was generally left at my old home..."

"I would spend it with Kaji." Asuka said in a small voice as well, standing next to Shinji's kneeling form, staring down at the pine cone as well, but her eyes had a glazed over expression, as the memories of how she used to spend this time before wormed it's way into the redhead's mind and soul.

Shinji thought about it for a moment; imagining a younger Asuka, smiling and spinning around as she would latch onto her parent's arm, just like he imagined he used to before that day, and ask her father with a childish pout and puppy dog eyes to take her there, feeling a tinge of jealousy that died immediately when Asuka spoke next, because even if she was smiling on the outside, the words held a tone the boy was too used and accustomed to not notice.

"I would... ask Kaji to drive to Berlin so we could see the fireworks at the Brandenburg gate"

"That's... cool..."

"Yeah, but I... sometimes I would look at everyone there, and they would all look so happy... and... sometimes I would wonder why I couldn't feel like that." Asuka said with a small shrug as Shinji weighted her words; a part of him saying he should stay quiet, this was nothing of his concern, and Asuka clearly had said before she didn't need anyone besides her.

But another part was there, waiting, holding his breath for Asuka's next words, hoping against hope for her not to shut off, not to push him away.

Not to leave him alone.

"Why not?"

Asuka blinked as she turned to her left, meeting Shinji's eyes for the first time; he was staring back at her with a calm, resigned look in his face, waiting for her answer, and silently daring her to not push him away.

And Asuka Soryu never liked backing away from dares.

"I dunno... it just..." The redhead began before she looked quickly away, standing up and dusting her jeans before she shrugged with a blank stare. "It felt odd... being there, trying to be happy while..."

"While?"

Asuka opened her mouth, the words already forming even if her voice wasn't there; before she blinked and shook her head, as if she were waking up from a dream and was finally understanding what she had said, before her eyes and her face were closed once more.

"Never mind that, it's not important."

There was a beat, and the silence grew exponentially, before Shinji spoke again.

"I think... the only way to be happy right now is not to think about what happens to us too much..."

Asuka blinked before she turned towards Shinji, wondering what he meant by that, noticing he was still kneeling down, staring at the pine gate, his fingers rubbing the leaves gently, almost reverently, before she stared at the pine gate, the memories of the past 36-odd days spent in this country intermixing; bitter memories, sweet memories, but most of all hurting memories.

"I dunno... it's kind of hard to look forward to a new year after all the crap we've been living with, you know?"

Shinji took a moment to rationalize this, trying to understand where the redhead was coming from remembering the sum of all that had happened in the year, the ways they had both fought; arguments as silly as who's turn it was to fed the penguin, and as serious as who would be the one to attack a certain angel.

Sometimes, they would fight about who's turn it was to buy groceries, or do the dishes, or take the trash out, and sometimes, they would simply sit on the living room, wordlessly passing popcorn of chips or _pocky _while watching the Tv.

_Like family... and..._

"Well... at least we have friends, right?" Shinji said after a moment, making Asuka turn to him and frown before she answered, turning away.

"Yeah... you being here doesn't really suck that much, so I guess it's cool that you're here."

Shinji looked at Asuka, thinking that maybe he should say something, but no words were coming to his mouth; instead, all he could hear was the dinging sound of the door from the elevator as it opened and Misato walked out, carrying a couple of bags on each hand as Rei followed the older woman with a bag of her own.

It only took a moment for them to realize how things were looking, and that topped with Misato's teasing smile made Shinji and Asuka look quickly away, the boy standing with a jump as the redhead simply took a couple of steps back as Rei simply watched the interaction, her face sporting a mixture of bemusement and... something Rei herself wasn't aware how to explain; all she knew was that it felt like scalding hot water, the type she used to make her tea, had splashed her chest and stomach, leaving behind a nasty sensation, like something was burning her, slowly corroding her skin, making it itch, and welt, and giving the blue-haired, quiet girl a sense of discomfort unlike anything she had felt.

Meanwhile, Shinji and Asuka shared an awkward glance before they walked inside the apartment with Misato and Rei attempting to work on the other pine gate as Rei sat awkwardly in the living room and Misato began to tell her about their day so far without anyone prompting her to do so.

"So then, we were there and I was trying to sing, and then the news caster was all '_Give me back my microphone!_' and I was all '_Nu-uh!_' and she was all '_Yuh-huh!_' and I was '_Nu-uh!_' and she was '_Yuh-huh!_'..." Misato paused as she took a drink from her beer and let out a whoop, before she continued her story. "Good thing Asuka was there to drive me for the first visit to the shrine."

Rei blinked before she stared at the two teenagers, frowning before staring back at Misato who was checking several of the bags to make sure she had gotten everything.

"I thought going to a shrine was on New Year's Day?"

"Uh... ye-yeah? It was?" Misato said as she sported a nervous smile now that the charade was out in the open, since she already knew Asuka's reaction was an incoming question in a high, shrill voice.

"What! Misato! You mean you made me wake up and drive you there on purpose!"

Shinji sighed as Rei stayed with the same expression she always had, while Misato began to try and appease the redhead, trying to find something to divert her attention with.

"Not at all! It wasn't planned, really! Now come on... you two need to get the other pine gate ready so we can start going to the end of year party and have a song off... red vs. white!"

"What do you mean a song off?" Asuka retorted while Misato attempted to explain, and Shinji simply wanted to get this done and over with and Rei just sat there, staring as everyone went about on their particular way.

"In Japan, it's customary to have a song off at the end of the year; there's a show for that called _Kohaku Uta Gassen_ which revolves around this," Misato began as she pulled out her phone, shifting through the music it had stored before she put some upbeat tempo music. "In the show, you have the red team, and the white team, each one has music superstars! J-pop, Visual Kei, _Enza_…and they hold a song off! This year the red team's getting Mitsuishi!"

"That sounds silly." Asuka mumbled but Misato simply waved it off, before turning to Rei and making a motion with her head towards Shinji and Asuka.

"Hey Rei, wanna help them?" Katsuragi asked as she tried to hold in the sad look and sigh she was feeling at Rei being alone even when sitting in a table with her teammates; sometimes it felt like the bluehaired girl was trying to do everything in her power to keep herself outside of reach, and other times, times like these, it felt like Rei just didn't really care about anything or anyone, not even herself.

"If I'm ordered to, I will."

"Well...if you don't want to, you don't have to." Asuka grumbled as she looked up ignoring Shinji's look and Misato's frown, even if it wasn't directed at the redhead, but rather at the rope she was now weaving.

"Hey, that's wrong, you need to get a red thread in there."

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Asuka asked as she looked at the rope and then at Misato before staring back at the rope as Katsuragi grabbed the rope gently, setting it down on the basin and making sure it would soak the sake poured inside before extracting a length of red thread, staring at both girls with a toothy grin while Shinji kept working.

"Oh come on... you don't know that?" Misato chastised Asuka jokingly, while Rei closed the book she had been reading and placed it on her lap, staring at Misato, awaiting for the explanation.

"It seems young people need to be reminded of that custom, wouldn't you agree, Katsuragi?"

"Kaji!" Both Misato and Asuka exclaimed at the same time, the redhead standing up and running to where the ponytail-sporting man was standing by the entrance while Misato offered him a small, shy smile.

"Where have you been? I missed you!" Asuka exclaimed while Kaji patted her head gently, smiling.

"You know me, had some things to do, but I managed to get free for this end of year party," Kaji said with practiced ease as he walked towards and sat next to Misato, taking the red thread she was holding in her hand and began to twist it into the braided rope as if he had done this a thousand times.

"Whatever; I need to go take a shower before we leave." Asuka's tone was gruff, as if trying to tell Kaji she hadn't really missed him that much, and the Nerv agent simply smiled, letting it slide because he knew the redhead better; he could see the redhead was trying hard to not let anyone see her face, keeping her eyes down, and using her hair to cover her cheeks.

"Alright, I just came to pick up some of the stuff anyway, so I'll see you at the party, right kid?" Kaji asked with a good natured tone as Asuka nodded looking over her shoulder and giving Kaji a small smile before disappearing inside the bathroom as Kaji sat next to Misato and asked her if all the things were ready before Rei spoke in a quiet tone of voice.

"Agent Kaji... would you please inform me of the significance of this red thread?"

Kaji blinked before turning to Misato, holding her hand in his, and interlacing his fingers with hers.

"Some people believe that when you are born, you are already predestined to be with someone and a red thread binds you to this person; it connects you, growing shorter and shorter with each passing day until you two are together," the spy said as she looked up and stared at Misato's eyes, smiling and speaking in a soft, gentle hush as he grabbed some of the leftover pieces of thread and began to wave them into a thin wristlet, before showing them to Shinji and Rei. "So, this red thread symbolizes the fate that binds us, and that makes us be together despite not knowing so."

"On each new year, we weave a red thread on the rope, to remind ourselves of the other one... and hope that this year, is the last year we spent apart," Misato said in the same tone of voice, before she broke into a small, peaceful smile, strangely intoxicating and alluring, yet contagious, somehow making Rei and Shinji smile back at both adults. "The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break."

The last words echoed nicely in the otherwise silent living room, only the background noise of Pen-Pen watching an old romance movie could be heard; the male lead vowing the female protagonist never to leave her, and that, even if in the past he had treated her badly, he would endure, and he would stay, while the female kept arguing, pushing him away before silence reigned, and all that could be heard from the Tv was the sound of moaning the came after a deep kiss.

"I should start to get ready as well," Shinji said as he got up and stared at the pine gate, before making his way to his room. Kaji stared at the boy's retreating back before he pulled the pine gate towards him, and began to finish tying everything up while Misato continued to talk with Rei.

"Here Rei... this one's yours," Misato said as she placed one of the wristlets on the girl's hand, tying it while Rei simply stared at it as if the thing caused her a rash.

"I do not understand..." Rei's soft voice was heard after a moment as she grabbed the red thread tied around her wrist and turned to Misato, eyes full of child-like curiosity before she spoke again in an eerie, quiet tone. "What should I do with it? Leave it on my wrist for the whole year?"

"Well, yeah... you have to keep it for this new year and you can give it back to me by the end of this New Year that is about to start," Misato answered with a small giggle while Rei stared at the offending red piece of fabric, as if wondering if she could take it off in this moment, even after Misato had said, and Rei herself had accepted the burden of wearing it for the next 365 days.

"Why is that?"

"See the way the red thread is mostly hidden?" Misato pointed out as she showed Rei how, indeed the red thread seemed to be woven into the tan rope, making it invisible to the casual look. "The legend says that whoever notices the red thread is the one who is destined for you."

Rei looked at her wristlet once more, focusing on it, before turning to Misato, nodding calmly and then turning towards Kaji, bowing slightly.

"I apologize for taking Lt. Col. Katsuragi away from you."

Kaji blinked before he let out a hearty chuckle, followed by Misato's own curious but amused smile, just as Shinji and Asuka walked out dressed and ready to go to the party.

* * *

"Ok, so everyone's ready?" Misato asked as she closed the door and turned to Shinji and Asuka who were holding the other pine gate between them, while Rei kept staring at the wristlet she was now wearing as Misato tied her scarf and buttoned her jacket up.

"Alright, Me and Rei are gonna go ahead and wait for Kaji to show up and then we're heading to the shrine," Katsuragi indicated as she grabbed Rei's hand and turned to Shinji and Asuka who were trying to get the pine gate exactly parallel to the other one, getting into a minor argument over if it was correctly squared out or not. "So don't be too late you guys, remember... sing off!"

"I still don't get it why Kaji had to go on ahead," Asuka grumbled as both she and Shinji placed the pine gate on the ground, framing the entrance to Misato's home.

"He said he wanted to make sure the preparations were ready," Shinji answered back, and his tone of voice made it clear he wasn't really getting into the festivities of the moment... something that irritated Asuka to no end, and as such, she felt obliged to tell Shinji about her in her usual subtle way.

"Hey! Stop moping around," Asuka exclaimed as she looked at Shinji out of the corner of her eye. "Isn't this supposed to be like the big celebration for Japanese people all over? You should be happy"

Shinji shrugged before he stayed where he was and turned to look out the railing of the hall and into the night sky, a reflexive look on his face before he sighed and turned to look at Asuka, digging his hands in his coat pocket.

"Fine, if you wanna mope then do it; it's not like I care or anything."

"It's not moping! I...uh...:"Shinji said, stammering as Asuka turned to him, not really saying anything which made Shinji self-conscious, staring quietly as the redhead faced him, closer... almost touching, which made Shinji blush as Asuka stared at him with a strange look in her face, focusing on his neck before she reached towards him.

"Hey, wait... you have something..."

"Huh?"

"You got some red stupid thread hanging out from your shirt." Asuka pointed out as she pulled the red thread Shinji had been using to tie the rope used to secure the pine gate away, showing Shinji the small piece of fabric.

"Uh... that's my..." Shinji began but Asuka shushed him as she grabbed the collar of his button-down shirt with both hands, grumbling softly to herself as she pulled down the garment.

Asuka said the last part with a little toss of her head, as well as a small sarcastic smile that somehow managed to take away all the bite and sting out of the words, leaving shinji with the sinking feeling of wanting to answer, before the redhead turned around and walked to the already waiting elevator.

* * *

"That was a goood party. You kids... you two're gonna be stayin' alone tonight... so don' do n'thing I wouldn't do..."

Asuka rolled her eyes, frustrated, as Shinji tried not to buckle under the weight of Misato who was laughing as if her lungs were collapsing on themselves, struggling to carry the older, clearly drunken woman, deciding to readjust his right arm a bit higher to better keep her in an upright posi-

_What's this soft, pillowy feeling in my ha-_

"Shinji-kun! You shouldn't cop a feel from a poor defenseless woman like me in my current stage." Misato giggled as Shinji blushed furiously and Asuka let out another long suffering sigh, while Kaji and Ritsuko simply smiled at their drunken friend's antics.

"I still can't believe you actually tried to drink all the sake in that big bottle, Misato." Ritsuko said, letting out an exasperated sigh as Misato giggled uncontrollably, like a child being told the funniest joke ever, while flashing a victory sign.

"Alright Katsuragi, you've clearly had more than enough to drink; time to take you home." Kaji exclaimed while Ritsuko knelt down and offered her friend some water, which Misato ignored to turn and stare woozily at Kaji, speaking in a quiet whisper of a voice, as if she were afraid of waking up someone, maybe herself.

"Do I get a piggy back ride this time too, Kaji?"

"You know the rule... everytime you get drunk, you get a piggy back ride." The Nerv agent confirmed in a small voice before turning around, kneeling down and waiting for the officer to climb up his back, closing his arms in a half-circle and resting his palms under Misato's thighs to give her a better, more cushiony seat.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Misato exclaimed just as Kaji and Ritsuko were walking past the red _Tori_ gate, complete with the pine gates at the entrance. Kaji stopped and looked at Misato who shuffled down form her place on his back, stumbling towards the gate, staring at it with a serious face and an intense look before clapping three times sharply, and bowing her head with respect, speaking in a mumbled tone, mostly to herself, even if Shinji could make out the phrase that his older roommate said.

"Please keep the three of them safe this year... please."

Kaji and Ritsuko, Asuka and Rei, they all heard it as well, and kept a respectful silence, as Misato slowly began to get up, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly as she let out a couple of sobs before turning over to Kaji and Ritsuko, extending her arms wordlessly as her on-again, off-again boyfriend simply welcomed her with arms wide open, picking her up and carrying the drunken woman in his back once more.

All three children remained quiet, watching as the adults walked away, Kaji smiling, carrying his precious cargo, Misato giggling, a bit embarrased, but clearly enjoying as Kaji showed his affection, while Ritsuko kept talking and arguing about things in her usual calm, detached, critical manner, before their voices slowly began to fade away.

Shinji stared for a moment before turning to Asuka and Rei, shrugging.

"Guess it's time to go home as well."

Rei nodded before she turned around and began to walk away, stopping shortly before turning to Shinji and Asuka, bowing at her waist respectfully and staring back at them calmly.

_"Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu."_

Both children blinked before Rei turned and walked away too, before they realized they were alone, in the middle of the night, a few hours away form the end of the year and they still had to go walking back to their home.

Both of them turned to each other, seeing the people that was still waiting for the last part of the program; the voting has started, which meant it was 11:30.

"Guess this is it then..." Shinji began in a quiet voice as Asuka stood next to him, staring at the lights and smoke and hearing the cheers of the people that were still on the stage, before he noticed Asuka was staring at his wrist, before the boy noticed that the wristlet Kaji had left for him was in plain sight.

"Hey Shinji, what is with your and the red thread?Is this one of your weird Japanese things?"

Shinji opened his mouth before he realized that, like always there was nothing to say or add, the year was ending, and the red thread story, while good to pass the time, was nothing but that; a story. Shinji had never believed in destiny a lot; for him, life was just a series of events; some unfortunate, some not, but none were predestined to exist.

And yet, sometimes... it felt like his life had been given to him for the express purpose of being here, in Tokyo-3, with the people that were around him, with everyone he knew.

For better or for worse, his destiny was linked to the city and the evas, to the secrets that Nerv held and the relationships he would find on the people sharing his life.

And that included the redhead who was now staring at him smiling a mischievous smile before she stepped in front of him, staring at his eyes and making the boy involuntarily shrink away.

"Don't worry about it..." Shinji said and, in a rare occurrence, managed to give Asuka a smile, which made the redhead blink before she quickly looked away, crossing her arms under her chest and giving Shinji an angry look at something she had perceived, before they both heard the sound of the people that were no cheering for the red team.

"You should leave it..." The redhead said after a moment before she gave Shinji a side way glance and shrugged her shoulders as if what she was about to say was as trivial as discussing the color of the grass. "Red kind of looks good on you."

The last words were accompanied by a small blush in the redhead's cheeks, which made Shinji chuckle to himself before he slowly relaxed and slipped into their natural routine of exchanging banter back and forth.

"That's because you like red."

Asuka opened her mouth, but closed it quickly, before she looked away, shuffling her feet uncomfortably, looking away before she turned to Shinji and closed her eyes tightly, as if she was fighting herself and finally had decided to just give up.

Wordlessly, the redhead stepped in closer, entering Shinji's personal space, before she grabbed Shinji's hand, pulling it towards her face and showing Shinji the red thread within, before she spoke.

"I want my red thread ."

That was all she said, that was all it took; Shinji tried to get a word or tow out but Asuka was quicker than him; she slid her hand behind his neck and pushed him towards, meeting him halfway, capturing his lips and kissing him gently, softly, and with new found need..

And as the clock struck twelve and the crowd cheered on, and the fireworks lit up everything around them, Asuka pulled Shinji towards her lips, sealing the last year with a kiss, and starting the new one in a different place than the one they both had been before.

* * *

**Based on an RP session between Legendary, SSD, Anti-Goth and myself at the EGF forums and EGF-rpg channel.**

**Pre-readers: Legendary and Kaname Langley.**

**AN: **Just a little entry for what was supposed to be the fanfictionwriter's FB group writing contest; it was postponed but the guidlines state that we had until the last day of December to post, so, here it is.

Hope you liked it, and I hope this 2011 is at least half as awesome as your best day in 2010 was.


	17. Kiss 11, Way 28

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes:** K-11. Gardenia, W-28. Replies

**Title:** Reading between the lines

**Disclaimer: **I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story.

This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."

It all snowballed from there.

**Disclaimer 2:** Based on the short story "The girlfriend dilemma" by Livek.

* * *

_During instrumentality an infinite number of worlds were created; from the Edo period to the end of the millennium. All of them different, all of them unique._

_But all those worlds have one unifying rule in common; in every single one we met, and invariably, we fall in love. And sometimes we hurt each other._

_And we connect to each other deeply._

_Worlds made with both you and me in the center._

_That's the single, unifying rule. (Retake 04)_

* * *

The sun had already gone down and the sky was just beginning to turn dark when Shinji blinked, realizing he had been staring at the window on top of the house's second floor for quite some time before he finally decided to knock on the door.

The first series of knocks went without an answer and the black-haired boy wondered, for just a moment, if he should stay here and try again, or if he should just leave.

Before he could make that choice, however, he heard the sound of rustling, followed by a couple of curses in German before a voice from inside finally answered Shinji.

"Alright, alright already! I'm coming!"

Shinji looked down, waiting for her to open the door while the memories of the events of the days replayed themselves on his mind, again.

And it was then that he realized his mind was still blanking out, and that all he knew was that he HAD to know; he just HAD to find out somehow.

_

* * *

The sky... it's so blue..._

Shinji sighed as he lay on his back on the roof of school, covering half of his face with his right arm while holding his music player with his left hand, enjoying the feeling of being alone.

The day had started kind of normal, boring even for him; he had woken up and before he had left his mom had told him that both his father and her would be out of the city for the weekend, attending some sort of company-sponsored retirement party or something.

This meant, for Shinji at least, free time to lounge in the house; to do nothing but watch the TV or played games, already thinking about holding a late night free-for-all session inviting over his friends.

_Now that I think about it, where are Toji and Kensuke?_ Shinji's wondered, turning towards the roof access door, while still thinking about what games to video games to play later tonight.

That was before he felt a shadow over him, even if no one was near, but Shinji knew that simply by the top of the head, and how the hands were at the waist it could mean only one person.

"Hey idiot."

Asuka Langley Soryu.

Shinji blinked before looking over at the redhead, keeping a neutral face as Asuka dropped a box on his stomach without saying anything.

The box made a hollow, foreboding sound making Shinji look at it as if trying to understand what this meant while Asuka stayed there staring at him as if to prevent him from standing up, locking her eyes against his.

Shinji couldn't help but feel as if Asuka was expecting him to do something given the way she held her place, but she wasn't saying anything, so he got up half way as she stared at him expectantly before picking up the box, almost asking what it was.

_"It's a box of course. What are you? A moron?"_ Asuka would say, rolling her eyes with a little smirk; the kind that she always used when stating the obvious even while he kept looking for that something he was supposed to intuitively know, feeling like a detective of sorts, even though it was eluding him.

And Shinji figured he wasn't going to be getting any answers from the box, feeling like something was missing something here, something that should be self-evident, he realized, turning the box over in his hands, looking for -

_What am I looking for?_

The question was so existential and simple, it made Shinji wonder for a second if this was the ultimate question every man should ask and ponder for themselves, making him feel like one of those characters from the books his teacher would go on and on about.

Kaji would go on and on about how those characters were deeply human and flawed, character that seem to always be the staple of the English literature works he seemed to like; the kind that were exiles and outcasts, yet aware of their destiny, sailing towards it with a sense of indolence that seemed to permeate in every single word used to explain how a man should stand and face the upcoming storm while still being the captain of his ship and master of his soul.

But it was hard to feel like that: Shinji was just an awkward teenager trying to stay in the shadows of the people around him, too scared of being the center of attention and that tended to shy away when the spotlight threatened to be above him.

He didn't have the required mysterious, magnetic and charismatic personality Kaji seemed to exude, or the disrespect for rank and privilege Toji showed.

_Except when dealing with Hikari._

He wasn't cool or sophisticated and educated like Kaworu, or jaded and world-weary like Musashi; in fact, even Keita and Kensuke seemed to be a better cast as one of those heroes, what with their high level of intelligence and perception.

Because the sad fact was Shinji could never visualize himself as anything BUT Shinji.

Another sharp-sounding tap made Shinji look up, noticing Asuka's look of annoyance which made it very clear this wasn't a Zen-Koan riddle either, which made him painfully aware that this was something he was supposed to figure out by himself; if only Toji or Kensuke were here, Shinji was sure he would have a chance at getting an explanation, or maybe a good diversion thanks to Kensuke making an ass out of himself or Toji getting into a heated argument with the redhead.

But for some reason they were both later than usual, and Shinji realized time was a precious commodity he really didn't have, so he decided to bite the bullet and get it over with prompted by Asuka changing her stance as her hands went from being balled at her waist to being crossed at her chest and her glare deepened which, in turn, made Shinji began to try and work the box open, finally succeeding in doing so to reveal what was inside.

Chocolate.

"It's chocolate." Shinji managed to say after finding his voice as his tongue sneaked out to wet his lips and he kept his eyes glued on the box.

"How perceptive." Asuka's voice was snide and biting.

"Valentine's Day is tomorrow." Shinji pointed out, and the simplicity of the sentence made Asuka snort in a very unladylike way, and probably roll her eyes or shake her head with her arms still crossed at her chest because that was the way she normally reacted when someone pointed out the obvious.

And Shinji felt that when it came to him and Asuka, he was always pointing out the obvious.

_"Your intelligence leaves me speechless, dorkface..." _She would start, before moving on, insulting him and then calling him an idiot like she usually did, making Shinji sigh as he mentally prepared himself for the incoming verbal onslaught.

_It's not like Asuka's always like tha- no, wait, she's __**always **__like that._ Shinji reflected, knowing that for all the times she would berate him and make fun of him, she would equally try to mend it in some small way, because Asuka was unable to accept she was wrong unless it was something huge, and she was unable to say she was sorry, instead displacing the action of asking for forgiveness by doing something nice.

"So what? It's not as if I'd get you anything... they're just..." Only this time, Asuka's voice wasn't as loud as she used to, and it sounded... strained... almost as if it had a bit of an edge. "Just eat them, okay?"

Shinji eyed the chocolates critically; they weren't anything special; just the usual chocolate bar, probably made out of any commercial or cheap mold and for a brief moment Shinji entertained the idea that Asuka had bought everything just for this occasion, before shaking his head, knowing full well that would be so unlike her.

"They're not poisoned or anything, are they?"

There was a small beat that grew into a pregnant pause, the kind that seem to come with the shock of something said or about to be said, and when he finally managed to force himself to lift his head, Shinji thought he saw a strange expression on Asuka's face.

Her eyes seemed a little dull, and her shoulders appeared to be slumped and her usual cocky smirk was now a trembling line in her lips and Shinji realized that was something he'd seen before, just once in all the time he had known the redhead teen.

And it was something he never wanted to see there again.

Then, it was gone; as if someone had wiped a mirror full of condensation leaving behind a clean, crisp image that seconds ago hadn't been there and Asuka rolled her eyes, kneeling down to his level and locking eyes with Shinji, her hands tucking her skirt in and holding that position for a few seconds before she smirked at Shinji like she usually did before she lifted her right hand and pressed her fingertip against the boys forehead, pushing him down.

"It's just chocolate, got it you idiot?" The redhead said in a bored tone even if it was painfully obvious for Shinji the little comment had caught her off guard. "And it's not like I made them for you anyway, or you're the only one who's getting some! My mom had this silly idea to do German-style chocolate for Christmas, but she messed up the amounts so we ended with a ton of it."

"So these are..."

"Leftovers." Asuka said with a flick of her hair and a shrug of her shoulders.

_Oh._ Shinji blinked as he looked at the bar again, for some reason feeling a bit let down. _Figures it'd be something like that._

Asuka kept talking, saying something about how she didn't want it to go to waste, so she had been giving it to her friends and had figured Shinji could use some as well.

"-nly I won't give you anything tomorrow; half the school already assumes we are an on-again-off-again couple since middle school." The redhead pointed out as she looked away, frowning, while Shinji nodded, at loss for words.

"I-it's ok. I'll eat them." He replied hastily, rubbing his forehead, the same frown still in his face, since Asuka's poke had hurt him a little before he looked down and added softly, almost as an afterthought. "Sorry."

Asuka looked back at Shinji with what could only be described as a half-smirk, half-smile on her face, before she caught herself and frowned, looking away quickly and covering her face with her hair as she walked back to the roof access door.

"Whatever." She said, before opening the door, and just as she was stepping in, she looked over her shoulder at Shinji. "And don't get any stupid ideas. This is not Valentine's Day chocolate, and I don't want anything for White Day."

"I know." Shinji answered softly, mostly to himself, and didn't see Asuka's mask of indifference slip and show a small crack before she walked inside the school as he kept staring at the box, still frowning and feeling like he was forgetting something, something he knew was missing while behind Shinji, the heavy metal door slammed itself closing shut.

Shinji paid no attention and continued to stare at the box and the candy before giving it a small, tentative bite, letting the confection melt in his mouth slowly, feeling it pass from solid to oily-like and letting the flavor reach his taste buds before noticing that, for months-old chocolate, this tasted pretty good.

So good, in fact, that Shinji was still smacking his lips while he tried to jiggle the door open to go back to his classroom once recess had been officially over; so good that it took some time for him to realize that he had been staring dumbly at the door Asuka had locked from the inside for quite some time.

* * *

"She did what!"

Shinji cringed and let out a sigh before he realized he had nowhere to go; Toji and Kensuke were flanking him, while Musashi and Keita were walking behind him down the halls once school had ended and they had changed back from their gym clothes to their usual school uniform, except for Toji who was still dressed in his tracksuit.

"This is Asuka, right? Asuka Langley Soryu? You're talking about **THAT **Asuka?" Toji asked loudly while Musashi muttered something under his breath.

"Is it really that hard to believe Soryu would do something like that?".

"Well, she mentioned that she was giving some to other people." Shinji added as an afterthought, making everyone stare at him, until Kensuke readjusted his glasses, making the sunlight bounce off them, giving him an imposing and intimidating look that evaporated as soon as he spoke in his usual squeaky, nasal voice.

"Did you check them out first? Maybe she put something in it, like a lax-"

"He has a point chief." Toji said as he grabbed the box, staring at it with the same mix of curiosity and wariness as everyone else. "I mean, this is Soryu we're talking 'bout; she ain't exactly sane."

"Don't say that!" Shinji said, sounding angrier than he should for some reason as he brought the box closer to him and inspected it as if it were a crime scene from one of those police shows on TV. "Besides, I gave Kaji-san one before gym class and he didn't look sick or anything."

"Maybe he has some sort of super healing resistance to toxins and venom!" Keita said excitedly making everyone, even Kensuke, turned to give him a look that made the freckled boy let out an embarrassed chuckle as he scratched his cheek before Kensuke cleared his throat ominously, crossing his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and letting out a sigh.

"We're missing the point here; if Soryu made this, then it can only mean one of two things." He said over-dramatically, snatching the box away from Shinji holding it over his head as if it were some sort of lost trophy which made Toji cover his eyes with his hands, groaning something about a nerd-burst.

"Which is?" Shinji asked wearily as he attempted to take the box from the bespectacled boy; for some reason, the tone and topic of this conversation had been starting to bug him greatly, and seeing the box in someone else's hands was just not sitting right with him, as if the whole idea of the box not belonging to him was enough to make Shinji try and do something about it; try and take it to keep it safe.

"Either she actually had these boxes lying around as leftovers and she wants to clear them out, or she used you as a guinea pig for the chocolate she's planning on giving Mr. Kaji tomorrow." Toji said with a snicker, which in turn made Kensuke and Keita snicker along with him, earning them a shake of Musashi's head and a dirty look from Shinji as a dead silence settled in, feeling like the words were clicking together like cogs in a wheel, moving together as one and circling around Shinji's mind, bringing out something he hadn't thought about, hadn't really stopped to consider.

This made Shinji feel a sense of dread; this new idea made the pit of his stomach feel like he had a hole the size of lake Ashi in the middle of his body; a void so big it felt like it would swallow him whole.

He knew that Asuka wasn't trying to give Kaji any chocolate, what with the fact that he and Misato were a couple and all, and the realization of this being nothing more than obligation was something Shinji had entertained at some point.

And yet being confronted by it left him speechless, with dry lips and tingling hands, weakened knees and a ringing in his ears that made it hard for him to focus and listen or understand to the people around him was saying, making the boy blink and fore himself into paying attention.

"-ny way, I'm sure it's nothing big, Chief." Toji said as he took the box from Kensuke's grasp, holding it over his own head which made Kensuke grumble, knowing full well he would never be able to take it from his taller friend. "Right 'Sashi?"

"She probably did it to mess with your head." Musashi nodded, speaking in his usual calm, cold and calculating voice, almost as if he were explaining a math problem in the blackboard, analyzing the situation before finally arriving at the most obvious answer and explaining it as if he were trying to explain to an elementary kid the concept of the theory of relativity. "So don't think about it..."

Before, Shinji had been seeing it as an accident, something Asuka had decided she didn't really needed but couldn't very well throw away in good conscience so she had decided to give it to Shinji.

But now, the idea that he had been used by her, topped with the fact that she had locked him outside, and that only the providential arrival of Mr. Kaji and Dr. Akagi to try and sneak a quick cigarette break had prevented him from being late for his next class, had managed to keep Shinji on the edge.

He had stayed in the class room a few minutes after everyone had left, just staring at the box for what felt like quite some time, feeling as if the people who had seen him walking with it had known all along, pointing their fingers and laughing at him, mocking him, denouncing him for being too stupid and dumb to actually believe Asuka had meant anything but the words she had said when she had tossed the box so carelessly at him.

But right after that, Shinji would feel an immense sadness come over him, making him feel ashamed, as if the box was silently asking him how could he think that of her, after all the time they had been friends.

_But that was when the problem started._ Shinji figured as he got up, putting his books inside the bag on autopilot, distantly aware of the actions he was taking, but not really doing them consciously; as if his body was moving on muscle memory alone, as his mind kept replaying that time that felt so long ago and yet so recent.

Shinji and Asuka had been best of friends in elementary school; a friendship that had started purely by accident on the first day that she had set foot in school after moving to Japan with her mom, but somewhere in the past year.

_Had it been a year ago already?_

Before he realized it, Shinji was putting his slippers on the shoebox, and slipping on his shoes, and the action of walking all the way from his classroom to the shoe locker area without actively thinking about it was a huge void in his memory, something that was a common occurrence whenever Shinji thought about that time he and Asuka had drifted apart, as corny and clichéd as it may sound.

* * *

"Hey! Have any of you seen Asuka?"

Shinji looked up as him and his friends walked inside the Lotteria that was closest to school.

Hikari asked already cleaning the mess of wrappers and napkins in the table as if she was inviting someone over to her house and had found out the living room was a mess, while Mayumi looked up from her book, smiling shyly and Mana slurped noisily at the meager liquid and ice left in her cup, as Rei continued to read her book and nibble from her pre-cut, pre-diced and pre-ordered fast salad and Mari fought with one of the counter girls over the robot figure she had gotten, demanding a new one because she already had that one in her collection.

"No." Shinji answered while his face registered a frown. "She wasn't back after recess?"

"No, and now that you mention it it's strange." Mayumi stated while putting the book she had been reading away in her bag.

"We were waiting for her after class because we've all made plans to see a movie after school, and it's not like Asuka to cancel or disappear like that." Hikari said, not really upset, more like puzzled and worried.

"Eh, you worry about red too much..." Toji said, waving his hand and speaking as reassuringly as he could, which earned him a smile from Hikari, which in turn made Mana and Musashi smirk at them both, which resulted in Toji grumbling and looking away as his face turned red.

"Do you think she's alright? She's not sick or anything, is she?" Mayumi asked worriedly turning to glance at Hikari who gave her a shrug.

"We heard she skipped gym class." Musashi answered in the way he always did; straight to the point, as he readjusted his book bag and stared at the girls as Keita and Kensuke were already ordering after Toji had given Ken some money while he and Shinji sat on the nearest table.

"Yeah like she got sick or something." Toji added with a snicker, which made Hikari and Mayumi turn to him and then at Shinji who suddenly felt like a deer caught in headlights, speaking in a quick, rushed way as he kept his palms at chest level and turned outside in what, he hoped, seemed as a placating attempt.

"I'm sure she's fine, I mean she seemed okay earlier." Shinji said as Kensuke Keita and Mari walked back with their meals, the three of them going over the newest hobby magazine that Kensuke had purchased, glossing over and marveling at the garage kits showcased in there.

"Besides she wouldn't have come if she was sick just to hand out chocolate." Toji said as he began to wolf down his own burger.

"Chocolate? What chocolate?" Mayumi asked, stopping short and repeating the word as if she didn't know what was the context of it, making Shinji's breath stop, feeling his throat constricting, as if it had suddenly formed a knot while Mana, Hikari, Mari... even Rei who looked up from her book and arched a perfectly immaculate eyebrow, but otherwise remained silent, looked on expectantly while Mayumi's eyes more than doubled their side, blinking curiously.

There was something in the way Mayumi asked that made Shinji's stomach tighten once more, making him feel like lurching and wondering if he was supposed to keep it a secret in the first place, but his mind was already taking action, and his body was already acting as he found himself opening his book bag and extracting the small rectangular cardboard box covered in red wrapping paper and with a copperish bow.

For some reason, Shinji felt like he was showing Mayumi some sort of undeniable proof and that made Toji snicker as he looked up while stuffing a handful of fires on his mouth which made Hikari slap the back of his head and shot him a glare.

"You know, her mom made a lot?" Shinji said ignoring the Suzuhara-Horaki antics.

The way Mana was staring at the box reminded Shinji of the same look Asuka had given him when he had jokingly asked if the chocolate was poisoned, and Mayumi was looking at him in a very peculiar way, the same way Hikari always stared at him whenever the topic of Asuka was brought up; like she had realized something simply because Asuka had given him the box and that made Shinji feel self-conscious, and a bit uncomfortable by it all.

"Asuka never said anything." Mayumi said in a thoughtful tone while still keeping the same expression, looking like she was trying to understand what had happened, why Asuka had done what she had done. "Hey Hikari, did you hear about Asuka giving out chocolates?"

"Yeah." Hikari answered while giving Shinji an amused look, like something she had finally figured out after the issue of the chocolate, something Shinji felt was still eluding him. "I think she only had some left because her mom used it as a selling tactic or something."

"That's not fair, I like her mom's chocolate!" Mayumi said softly, looking slightly hurt at the idea of Asuka doing something like this.

Shinji knew that out of all the girls Asuka had a very close friendship with Hikari and Mayumi.

Rei and Asuka seemed to be just polar opposites of each other, one was quiet and controlled, the other one was loud and seemed to be short of a fuse, and Asuka and Mana...

Shinji didn't really know how to explain those two; at times it felt like they were bitter enemies over whatever imagined or amplified slight, always clashing for something or other; at times so similar in the way they behaved it sometimes felt as if they shifted between being friends and rivals, like Musashi and Toji.

"Well you know Asuka, she's kind of... weird when it comes to... stuff." Mana said in a mild tone as she looked at Shinji who was deep in thought while Toji and Kensuke both snickered.

"Yeah, I mean, I bet Asuka is clueless when it comes to cooking, do you remember that one time back in home economics where she was supposed to do some octopus balls and ended up burning the whole thing?" Toji said loudly, making Mana and Musashi and Keita laugh as well.

"Yeah, she made such a mess Miss Ibuki was almost crying by the end of the class; it was awesome!" Kensuke followed up as he made his best attempt at trying to sound like the teacher had, flailing his arms around comically, everyone laughing and making fun at Asuka until Hikari cleared her throat loudly.

"I've told you guys to stop making fun of Asuka, or at the very least, do it to her face, not talk behind her back like this."

"Aw, c'mon Hikari, we were just playing." Toji said casually. "Besides, I'm sure Shinji would eat anything made by the devil. They're so close they're practically husband and wife."

"Wh-what? Of course not!" Shinji's anguished cry made Mana giggle, while Toji smirked and Kensuke simply shook his head as if it were a hopeless case, Rei quietly standing up to put the food tray she had used on the litter before getting herself a refill of her drink and sitting down once more, going back to reading her book.

"I mean those chocolates were probably given to Shinji by the red devil herself as a sign of she accepting him as his boyfriend." Toji kept at it, feeling at ease in his usual role of class clown while Kensuke nodded and turned to Mayumi, resting his face on one hand, smiling at the bespectacled girl, almost as if waiting or hoping for her to follow suit, only to encounter her staring sadly at the circle of friends.

"I'm telling you we're not like that!" Shinji tried once more, a little harder, a bit more forceful while everyone else except for Rei, Mayumi and Hikari kept laughing at this.

"Toji! I told you not to make fun of Asuka!" Hikari said angrily in tandem with Shinji, while Mayumi narrowed her eyes at both boys.

"Come on Hikari, even you know it's the only other possible answer." Mana said in a snide tone while giving a small shrug of her shoulders. "It's common knowledge since she moved here that she and Shinji have been, like, betrothed or something."

"W-we aren't..." Shinji tired again before Hikari cut him off, speaking with an angry tone.

"What! That's stupid! Who the heck came up with that silly lie?"

"You did, back when you had to give Asuka some of the print outs and she was sick with measles and you went to her house and saw Shinji inside cooking some rice porridge for her." Mana said matter-of-factly, making Hikari open her mouth to refute, but no sound came out as the freckled girl realized Mana was right, which made Hikari's cheeks turn a bright red color while Shinji grumbled under his breath again, his hands balling into tight fists.

"And then back when they were trying out for that school competition where they had to do some synchronized dancing... you screamed at them both saying they were living in sin." Mana continued, which only made Hikari's face redder, and Shinji's hands began to clench and unclench.

"And you seem to pay a lot of attention to what's going on between them both, Mana." Hikari answered flatly, crossing her arms and glaring as everyone began to feel a shift in the dynamic, somehow going from good-natured teasing to something that was the brink of angry and rude bullying.

"She's just wrong for him." Mana said vehemently crossing her hands over her chest and nodding, as if she had thought about it for too long. "She's always abusing him, and shouting, and calling him an idiot, and remember last year when she began to hang out with the stuck ups and ignored all of us?"

"She already said she was sorry when she realized those girls had been making up all those things we supposedly said about her behind her back." Hikari stated angrily at Mana, running her hand over her face. "And she has proved that a lot of times, I thought you would be the first one to accept that, Mana."

"Just because she said she was sorry doesn't mean she feels sorry about it." Mana pointed out, narrowing her eyes. "For all we know, she's waiting for her 'friends' to take her back so she can go back to being a stuck up bitch and ignore us again."

"Asuka would never do that! She's our friend." Mayumi said suddenly, angrily, making everyone stare at her, friends and strangers around her alike.

"Come on, Mayu... she even snuffed you when you tried to ask her for help! Why are you still defending her?" Kensuke began, crossing his arms over his chest, and speaking roughly, like he always did whenever he knew or found out about someone being mean to Mayumi.

It was hard not to like Mayumi; she was quiet and gentle and smart and well-mannered and talking to her always made everyone feel important, because she would use only the most polite form of Japanese when talking.

"Because she's still my friend." Mayumi said simply; it wasn't whining, more like she was trying to understand what had happened while Shinji simply looked at her, at loss with words to explain precisely that.

But there was something more, something else... something that eluded words altogether and that somehow was what made people be drawn to Mayumi; a quality that made even Asuka feel compelled to help the black-haired, mousy girl when other girls had began to pick on her.

"Because when I was the new girl, she was the first one to come on over when I was eating by myself and told me I was sitting in her usual place, and when I tried to move, she said she wasn't making me move, and that I should stay anyway because I was already eating lunch."

There was familiarity, a sense of belonging that seemed to always be around whenever those two, Asuka and Mayumi were together; often, Shinji had seen Asuka and Mayumi chatting, smiling, and giggling as they would clean the room after classes while waiting for Hikari to finish with the school council meetings before all three would walk home.

Kensuke, Toji and Mana took a moment to stare at Mayumi as she continued speaking, staring at her hands.

"So what if people think Asuka is annoying or rude or loud? She isn't really like that, all you have to do is get to know her better." Mayumi said as her tone changed from marginally angry into to something much milder, making Shinji look up and notice her staring at the box of chocolates, taking it angrily from Toji's hands and gently placing it next to Shinji.

"Well, if she gave him this, then maybe she thinks Shinji's her boyfriend, but she's just wrong for him... or for anyone..." Mana said angrily, and for some reason, this made Shinji feel his face heat up. "She's just not girlfriend material."

That was when Shinji finally lost it.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Shinji screamed out, slamming his hands on the table, forgetting about the people around him, about the strangers in the booth next to their own, forgetting about the chocolates and about how everyone was staring at him.

No... actually, he became painfully aware of how everyone was staring at him, which made Shinji close his eyes warily and sigh as he looked up, before standing up, slowly pushing his seat back, walking out the door, without saying anything else, leaving the table in silence, ignoring Toji and Musashi calling after him, ignoring Hikari, Mayumi and Rei staring at him, or Keita and Kensuke and Mana as they tried to excuse themselves.

Shinji was outside walking away with his head down while pushing his way through the people in the sidewalk before entering a random alley, resting his back against a nearby wall, letting out a long suffered breath he never realized had been inside of him.

_I shouldn't have stormed away like that._ Shinji chastised himself angrily, his hand still holding the chocolate box, giving it an inscrutable look before cramming it inside his book bag, hearing the crack of the chocolate it held, feeling faintly as it broke apart while he flung his book bag over his shoulder.

For some reason, the box now felt twice as heavy as before, making him feel guilty and angry and embarrassed and sad and all the emotions were so much it just felt like they were closing in on him, taking the air away, making him feel like choking, like his throat was closing, like no air was able to come.

Before, in a moment of clarity, Shinji realized what he had to do.

* * *

So, that was it; that was how the day had started, and how it had proceeded to this point; and all Shinji could do right now was hold his breath and wait for the door to open and get some answers, even if the questions were, at best, simple words he feared asking out loud.

And now the door to Asuka's house was opening, and Shinji could only fear for the uncertainty of what was going to happen, closing his eyes, and breathing quickly, erratically... feeling his lungs as they seemed to try to expand past his ribcage and contract into the size of a tight fist with every breath he took, as he waited to come face to face with her...

"Jeez, what's with you? I thought I told you to be here early because your father would pick me up at se-."

Only to see an older version of Asuka standing in front of her; short, almost pageboy-like cut hair, and dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and a skirt that came just above her knees, while carrying her coat on the other hand.

"-ven. Uh, hi?" Kyoko Soryu blinked quickly before the frown on her face was turned into a smile as recognized him. "Oh! Shinji it's you... Hey, if you're here looking for Asuka she hasn't come in yet from school, but she should be here any minute."

Shinji remained quiet while Kyoko kept fiddling with her house keys, grumbling to herself about her irresponsible daughter while ever so often turning around to give the brown-haired boy a look, as if she were expecting him to do or say something.

That reminded Shinji the reason he had come here, fishing inside his school bag quickly, before pulling out the box of chocolate Asuka had tossed his way earlier today and showing it to Asuka's mom who looked at it in confusion before she smiled at Shinji.

"They're chocolates..." Kyoko's voice sounded like she was making a comment on a frivolous note from the newspaper; so detached and removed, Shinji could almost hear Asuka's lingering 'idiot' in the way the matter-of-factly statement was delivered.

"I know." Shinji said as he looked down while Kyoko rubbed her index finger over her lips, like the times she played her favorite sudoku puzzle, eyes trained on the box before she slowly lifted her head and looked up at Shinji, smile widening as she gave the boy a warm, inviting look.

"Shinji... I appreciate the gesture, but aren't I the one who's supposed to give you the chocolate?"

Shinji blinked, clearly never expecting this answer, before he caught side of Kyoko's mouth twitching upwards at the corners slowly becoming the familiar Soryu smirk, the very same Asuka would use ever so often since as back as Shinji could remember.

"N-no, I uh... Asuka gave them to me..." Shinji finally managed to say, making Kyoko give him an amused look and smile, something that made Shinji even more aware of just how similar mother and daughter were.

It wasn't just the way their mouth would sometimes roll into a half-smile, half-smirk; it was the way they would blink rapidly before narrowing their eyes at someone being an idiot, or the way they would both look over their shoulder, uttering the word 'chance' in a sing-song voice whenever something went their way.

It was also the way they would end up staring at him: half expectantly, half teasingly... just like how Kyoko was staring at him...

Right now.

"Uh..." The boy began to stammer; he had never been good with girls or women of any kind, always painfully shy and a bit unsure, but for some reason that same quality seem to make him even more endearing to the likes of Kyoko... and Misato... and Satsuki...

Shinji stopped his train of thought when he realized Kyoko was still staring at him, and her lips were still moving, and if he would be paying attention, he would probably know what she was talking about which forced the boy's brain to register what was being said, since it seemed like the right thing to do.

"-ka said it didn't matter and now you're here so I'm starting to wonder if there's anything I should know about." Kyoko continued as she ran her hands through her hair, brushing back the bangs reaching her eyebrows, and the tips hanging just a bit below the neck, spiky and stylish, but completely functional. "Are you two fighting again?"

Shinji shook his head quickly, staring at the flowers that were planted along the entrance of the Soryu household; Hibiscus and red and orange Lilies along with red and white Anemones; she had always enjoyed working on her little garden, and Yui always enjoyed helping her as well, telling Shinji how Kyoko, despite being half German-half Japanese, tried to keep the 'language of flowers', _Hanakatoba_, alive.

Shinji sighed as he turned to look to the side, noticing Kyoko's room and the flowers hanging overhead; Zinnias and Violets and Morning Glories.

"Shinji?"

"No, it's nothing..." Shinji said slowly as he looked up and smiled at Kyoko, before turning around and walking outside. "I'll ask Asuka when she comes back."

Kyoko looked at the young boy as he went inside his house before looking up at her daughter's window, exactly across from Shinji's only a small leap separating both teens; a small space that now seemed to be thousands of miles away, populated only by the white gardenias that had blossomed over the year that were now sitting on Asuka's windows, smiling wistfully to herself, realizing that flowers never lied, before her husband's car approached the front gate, honking twice before she boarded the car and left as the curtain of the living room parted ways slightly, and Asuka stared at Shinji's house from inside.

* * *

As much as he tried to focus, Shinji just couldn't; he had been staring at the computer screen for the best part of an hour, but only had three lines written down.

Next to him, Asuka's room was still dark, and Shinji checked his watch one more after looking over to where his leather bag was laying on top of his bed.

8:26 P. M.

Where could she be? Shinji thought hurriedly, frowning; it wasn't like Asuka to be this late from school, especially when she hadn't been in school for the rest of the day, and Shinji hadn't really felt like Kyoko needed to hear this, otherwise she would be worried and would be asking Shinji questions wouldn't know how to answer.

So in the meantime, Shinji had decided to be proactive, fixing himself a light snack, and working on his homework while waiting for Asuka to be back.

But every time he had tried to write something, he was stopped by the memories reminding him of the way the past year had been a change and a shock to him.

It had been back before they had graduated last school year, exactly a year ago; something had happened, something small and silly and completely out of the blue that had spiraled out of control.

After that, Asuka hadn't come to wake him up like she usually did, and in fact she had been rather distant, and when Shinji had finally gotten the courage to confront her about it, Asuka had looked away, as if she had been ashamed before she had begun to tell him that she wasn't going to do that again.

_"Everyone's talking about you and me! Saying we're like newlyweds! It's embarrassing!"_ The redhead had said angrily, refusing to look up while Shinji stared at his in-door slippers, at loss of words, feeling as if he had been punched in the gut, seeing white and feeling shortness of breath.

And it was because of that particular memory that his gut would sometimes wrench and feel like it was eating itself away, even if things were better now between them both, it still didn't seem right... at all; it was more as if Asuka had become someone different that he and everyone else barely knew...

Shinji had never been one to openly talk about it, but everyone of his friends had noticed the sudden shift in attitude, the way Asuka's jokes had become more hurtful and her remarks more biting, a small rift that slowly but surely had grown both of them apart.

_Exactly one year ago._ Shinji thought to himself; Asuka had began to be seen as a popular girl around school; a combination of her looks and outgoing personality, she had began to garner the attention of both the guys in her class as well as the upper class-men, and even the new freshmen had began to approach the redhead, leaving love notes in her shoe box, something that she appeared to enjoy, but had complained several times in the privacy of Shinji's room about how much of a hassle it really was.

Because to her, Shinji was still Shinji.

But once, when he and Rei had been walking home after school he had brought up the issue, and the normally quiet girl had remained more quiet and thoughtful, as if trying to word together what she thought was the most obvious answer before telling Shinji bluntly that Asuka had probably decided to move on.

_"What do you mean move on?" _Shinji had asked back then, feeling the pit of his stomach clench reflexively, as if preparing for a punch to the gut that would leave him once more without air, dazed and confused; eyes downcast and mouth set in a thin, small line while his breathing was deep and calm, mentally getting ready for it, and silently counting down and bracing for impact.

_"Perhaps she realized she does not like you."_ Rei's logical answer, uttered in a soft, calm voice had made Shinji feel like he had received a kick to the teeth instead, blindsided on the left field in such a way, he could still remember standing there, suffering from shortness of breath and feeling his air passages closing, feeling the world tumbling down.

It had hurt... a lot, because he had lost something he never knew he had; something he had thought was a constant in his life but had effectively ceased to exist and eventually Shinji had decided maybe it was better this way: he wasn't much for groupies and posses and Asuka seemed to like it now, so he figured if she was ok with this, he really didn't have much say in the matter.

8:37 P.M.

Shinji sighed in exasperation before closing his eyes, feeling already so close to doing something, anything to beat the thoughts running circles around his mind, ready to admit the obvious answer was the most probable and logical explanation.

Asuka wasn't known for cooking much; in fact, more often than not, she would tag along to his house just so Shinji could cook them something to eat while both did their homework in what amounted to an unspoken agreement between them both: Shinji would cook and Asuka would teach and it had worked so far.

So when she had said that Mrs. Soryu must had been the one who made the chocolate there wasn't really anything else to it, and yet...

And yet it still bothered Shinji; it bothered him that Asuka had been so weird about the chocolate thing, and it bothered him that Kensuke and Toji had made fun of him like that.

But more than anything, it bothered him that Toji and Mana had kept saying that Asuka was his girlfriend.

And today, despite whatever she or anyone else had said, Asuka had made him chocolate; homemade chocolate.

_For Valentine's Day._

Even Shinji, despite being called an idiot by her, knew what that implied.

And the realization of it all felt like a ton of bricks falling down on him, as his eyes were clouded by a look that had steadily began to grow more and more common in him; a look that seemed to have the words 'longing' and 'regret' etched in them.

Because deep down inside, Shinji knew the truth; knew that Mana was right...

She was just wrong for him.

_She just isn't girlfriend material..._

And those words alone, made his book bag feel like it housed the weight of the world inside of it.

* * *

For the past couple of hours, Asuka had been keeping herself busy listening to music, or watching videos, or not staring at Shinji's bedroom which still had the light on and made the redhead wonder if that idiot even knew what it meant to let things go.

Without thinking, Asuka peeked outside the window once more carefully, making sure the light of her laptop didn't show outside, just like the last three or four times she had checked before she sighed.

It had been a fiasco.

_There's really no other way of calling it._ Asuka thought as she peeked outside again, before frowning and going back to her computer screen.

After what had happened at school, she had decided she needed some time, and space, and air, and so, Asuka had been walking around aimlessly, glaring or ignoring the weirdos and random strangers pestering her to go out with them, or hang out, or if she'd be interested in becoming a model before she had finally decided to go back home, sending her mother a text message saying how she was going to be late, getting almost immediately an angry reply from Kyoko demanding her be here before seven or else...

When she entered, calling out to her mother she was home, she got no answer back, so Asuka figured she was probably outside buying groceries.

_Or flowers, or something equally stupid._ The redhead had thought before hearing her mother walking inside, talking on the phone with her father, making plans for dinner at seven while whispering sweet little nothings into the phone, like a love struck teenager going out on a date.

_Get a room, you two_ and _Ewww! Mental Bleach!_ were among the first things to pop in Asuka's mind as she made a beeline for the fridge, grabbing an juice box before she decided to hide herself in the bathroom next to the doorway hearing her mom coming down from her room upon hearing someone knocking on the door a couple of times followed by her mother's choice words in German, figuring it was her dad, and she was going to listen to them make out, scaring her for the rest for life.

Instead of that, she had heard Kyoko call out Shinji's name, so Asuka decided to remain where she was focusing on drinking her juice; for some reason, her throat had felt parched after talking to Shinji, and her legs had been close to giving away, and her stomach...

The whole thing had felt like something outside one of those stupid novels Misato would read instead of doing her college homework making Asuka wonder once more how someone like her could be her cousin, and how she had even managed to get into college, though from the fact that her friends were working, it made the redhead realize that having a college education did not equal being a genius in your field.

And despite her trying to listen very carefully behind the thin walls, all Asuka could make were mumbled words before Kyoko announced she had to leave, closing the door behind her.

Asuka had taken that moment to scramble outside going into her room and changing quickly out of her uniform making sure Shinji hadn't been nearby before scurrying quickly down to the living room, closing blinds and curtains and making sure there was no way anyone would assume she was back yet.

Now, nearly two hours afterward she realized the day was very much ending and that what she'd done was done and there was no way to take it back.

That it was now out there in the open and that even if that idiot was too much of a dense block-head to understand, Asuka was sure someone must have already explained to him by now what the chocolate meant, what it all meant.

_Which means that tomorrow..._

Tomorrow she'd have to face him and his stupid eyes and moronic face and silly hair and make sure he'd get it through his thick head how it didn't mean anything; how that chocolate was nothing more than obligation, and reinforce the notion that her mom had simply miscalculated the amount of chocolate she'd done.

Shinji's light suddenly went out, and Asuka waited for another 15 minutes before she figured the idiot had probably given up waiting for her, and had instead gone to sleep before she made her way to her room, letting out a sigh of relief; tomorrow she'd have to clean the mess of pots and pans that was now polluting the kitchen, but for right now, all she wanted was to go to her bed, and curl up and pretend this day never happened.

_Honestly... what the heck was I thinking?_ The redhead thought as her hand grasped the doorknob, but instead of t turning it open she remained with her hand crisped around the brass handle.

The redhead closed her eyes, letting out a couple of deep breaths as she opened the door to her room, her whole body trembling ever so slightly as the memories of the day and the past came back to taunt her, feeling like a house of cards tumbling down.

"Ow..."

Just like how a certain idiot was tumbling down into his room after jumping out of hers from across her window.

"What the hell are you doing?"

To her credit, Asuka remained calm, trying not to let out a small amused giggle as she saw Shinji's arms flail around, tying to untangle his sneaker from his window rail; normally, it would be the other way around, Asuka would be the one jumping from her room into Shinji's, and he would act outraged while Asuka would smile and make fun of him.

"Nothing!" Shinji said with a grunt, trying once more before finally giving up and taking off his shoe before he appeared resting his elbows on his window as if nothing had happened as Asuka scowled at him, making it clear she wasn't up for any kind of crap while Shinji kept trying to remain calm, succeeding only in making Asuka's scowl deepen, and Shinji figured he was about to get an earful from the redhead.

But right now, her eyes spoke louder than anything she had ever said.

For some reason, Shinji had always noticed there was something about those eyes, something deep and inaccessible, something that seemed to be always guarded behind close walls and seven keys; they evoked anger and embarrassment easily, which balanced out Asuka's tendency to quickly snap at and shout and lash out.

But at times they were different; they were gentle... and sweet; like the times she would help straighten Shinji's collar after they had both ran to school to make it on time.

Or the times she would let him walk with her while raining, sharing an umbrella, walking in comfortable silence, the kind of silence that was born and breed not out of not having anything to say, but of not wanting anything to upset the gentle, soothing sounds of falling rain, or early mornings and peaceful afternoons, or of calm, chilly and silent nights.

Shinji couldn't deny, now that he was staring up at Asuka, that the year that had passed had been one he had hated.

Because he still thought of her as a friend and he was sure Asuka thought of him the same way; even if they were apart at school once they were out everything changed and they would always hang out together.

It was like dealing with two Asukas: the public one, the one who liked the adulation and adoration of the masses, that thrived and lived for the boys who would shower her with sweet words and promises of endless love that were too fake or incredible for kids their age, but that would still make the redhead smile and giggle and blush as if on cue.

And then, there was the other Asuka, the one that only he and a few others like Hikari and Mayumi were privy to; the Asuka he would meet when walking into the corner store to buy groceries while she was buying snacks and they would talk about nothing, and smile about something and laugh about anything before making their way back home, together.

And he missed her.

He missed the Asuka who would sit in his bed and listen attentively while he would practice the cello, not saying a word but making her presence be felt simply by being there, by making Shinji aware of her; aware of the way the strawberry scent would coat her body and clothes due to the body wash and shampoo she liked to use, and aware of the way her breath would hitch and be held inside when playing that one alto she liked just so, imperceptibly and easy to ignore to everyone but him.

Or the Asuka who would sometimes jump out of her bedroom window, and climb up his, for no other reason than to hang out there because she was bored.

But lately, hanging out had began to get weird again.

At times it seemed like there were lines; invisible boundaries that had been decisively drawn into some sort of political buffering space that made some of the interaction feel... off.

Memories of a year gone by, of mistakes that were made, of words that they couldn't say...

"Don't give me that crap!" Asuka shouted as she walked over to the rail, glaring daggers at the boy, walking towards the window, lifting her fist and shaking it angrily at Shinji to show she meant business. "What the heck were you doing in my room, you creep?"

Shinji looked past her, guiltily, as Asuka followed his line of sight, noticing on top of her bed a box similar to the one she had given, almost identical, actually; the same stupid wrapping paper and the same silly bow, but this one was bent and banged-up.

She grabbed it in silence, glaring at Shinji who let out a scared whimper.

But this glare was different; this one was embarrassed and angry, with a look that Shinji realized too late that could only be described by one word; humiliation.

"Did you have a good laugh at me?" Asuka's voice was unfathomably chilly, making Shinji shiver unwillingly at the words as she threw the box at him, nearly missing his head.

"N-no!" Shinji answered truthfully, frowning as he tried to articulate his thoughts. "I mean... I didn't know what to think, and then Mayumi and Hikari were telling Toji and Mana and Kensuke to stop laughing at you a-"

"You told them!"

Shinji gulped as he noticed how Asuka's eyes were no longer holding a look of humiliation but one of embarrassment, and that her cheeks were flushed beyond the color of her hair which made him realize that this wasn't going according to how he had planned, that Asuka was pissed off, and he was bumbling through excuses and explanation instead of being able to tell Asuka what he wanted to.

"You weren't supposed to say anything to anyone!" Asuka said angrily, sternly, but she was still flushed and her eyes were misty, making the redhead rub at them angrily with her hands; back and edge and knuckles brushing hard against the white-now-flushed skin that made her cheeks look redder still.

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Shinji said, slowly feeling his anger rising once more; the reminders of the earlier events; the chocolate, his friends laughing and making fun of him, words and stances... everything began to grow into a haze of red.

"You were supposed to either eat the stupid chocolate or just throw them away." Asuka said angrily and Shinji noticed how her shoulders began to shake a little, making him look quickly away, mumbling an apology that was what made Asuka let out an angry curse.

"_Verdammt Scheiße_! Stop apologizing! I bet Mana and Toji and Kensuke were bursting their guts laughing at the idea of me doing something as stupid as giving you chocolate." Asuka shouted, pointing at the box, anger and contempt and wrath held in her voice; an anger that felt so old and seemed so ancient, that it felt like a powerful, indecipherable force, something that couldn't really be described or explained, but that seemed to encompass and consume everything in its path, leaving nothing more than broken, cold ashes behind.

Shinji wondered if anyone was listening in on them; even if they lived in a quiet neighborhood, he could never be too sure, but all of this went into the background as Asuka got one of her feet on the rail and literally pounced on him.

Normally, Shinji would have screamed, he would have begged and bantered for Asuka to stop, he would have asked her to leave him alone, or he would have simply turned and walked away.

But today, right now, the last thing on Shinji's mind was precisely that; instead he flipped Asuka over, rolling with her on the ground, looking like a couple of wild animals trying to have supremacy over the other; the redhead on top, breathing and panting and grunting as she struggled against Shinji, before he flipped her over, glaring and baring teeth.

This went on for a few minutes, both teens rolling around Shinji's room before finally, Shinji was able to hold onto the redhead's slim wrists, pushing them to the ground and putting all of his weight to force Asuka's hands over her head, resisting her attempts to buckle underneath him while her struggles became weaker and weaker, until all they could both do was lay like they were, Asuka flat against the floor while Shinji held her hands above her head, both teens breathing heavily, deeply.

This wasn't the first time they had done this; Asuka had always been slightly tomboyish and had often enjoyed playing like this with Shinji, jumping on his back, or pushing him down and wrestling with him.

In fact, this reminded Shinji of the times when they had been younger and had wrestled roughly around the house, ending in such a position before either his mom, or Asuka's mom would come and separate them.

_Or, in Misato's case, she'd laugh and take a picture with her phone at the both of us._

But right now, for some reason, Asuka remained quiet, while Shinji kept staring at her, both inching closer without realizing; right now it felt weirder... it felt less of a playful bout and more of something both teens couldn't really name.

Shinji looked at Asuka before she spoke in a low, angry tone.

"Get. Off."

"No, you'll hit me the moment I do that." Shinji said, shaking his head which made Asuka open her mouth to deny it, but the look Shinji gave her made the redhead realize that was a very spot-on assessment of what she intended to do.

"Fine. Get off and I promise I won't hit you." Asuka tried once more, buckling underneath but Shinji held her down.

"Or kick me." Shinji added quickly, which made Asuka roll her eyes.

"Or kick you..." The redhead said before she noticed Shinji was about to open his mouth once more and she cleared her throat, making the boy keep quiet, but still holding her wrists in his hands. "Or do any sort of physical attack on you."

Shinji thought about it and began to get off Asuka before he stopped and looked at her, dark blue eyes meeting light blue.

"What about mental anguish?"

"Would you just get off right now or do I need to punch you?" Asuka snapped at Shinji, making the boy wince and roll a good couple of feet away from her, staring as she got up and brushed herself clean before turning to Shinji who felt like he should say something, given the tension that was already in the room. "God! Talking to you feels like having a period!"

But it seemed like the words had been stolen, since he couldn't think of anything to say, so Shinji remained quiet for some minutes, expecting Asuka to continue with her tirade before he let out a sigh.

"Why did you give it to me in the first place?" Shinji finally asked; wanting to know so badly after too much beating around the bush, tired of the question churning over and over and over in his mind like undigested food for thought, fermenting and festering.

Asuka looked away, shrugging her shoulders, and making sure to keep her face away from Shinji's eyes, her whole body cutting away at the light coming from her room.

"I don't know, I mean, I spoke with Hikari and Mayumi about the whole crappy last year, and Misato dropped by a day ago saying she wanted mom's help in making chocolate for Kaji and then I-"

Shinji held his breath, expecting the verbal onslaught, but for the second time today, it never came; Asuka had spoken in a very small, very frail voice, as if she was embarrassed of saying something, but knowing she had to answer nonetheless.

"You made it yourself." Shinji stated more than asking after a beat, making Asuka falter, looking at her carefully, seeing how her whole body seemed to show the internal struggle she was having; pride and reason against feelings and impulses.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Like what?" Asuka snorted, turning around and facing Shinji as she flipped her hair behind her shoulder with practiced ease. "Hey Shinji? Remember this past year where I treated you like crap and now I feel bad about it? Well, here, have some chocolate."

Shinji thought about it for some time before nodding, agreeing with Asuka.

"Yeah, it does sound lame."

"Must be because I started hanging out with you more. Stupidity is contagious, you know."

"Can we not do this, right now?" Shinji sighed, tired of all the mind games and everything else, even if he knew on a very instinctual level this was typical of Asuka.

But at the same time, it was grating on his nerves the constant talk about him being stupid, and it amounted to just about everything else that was Asuka herself.

"I just... I want to know why?"

Asuka turned to look at Shinji, and he could just picture her smirk firmly in place, arrogant and haughty, staring down at him, a sure sign of superiority once her opponent had accepted defeat.

But instead, Asuka's eyes were red, and puffy and Shinji noticed she was sniffling and it was very obvious she was crying by the way her shoulders were shaking and her breath hitched in her throat even if she was still trying to downplay it and make it seem like she was perfectly in control.

Because that was how Asuka was.

"Do you remember why the whole thing started last year?" Asuka said after a beat, making Shinji stare at her before he nodded; the whole series of events still burned into his mind.

"You were on a crappy date and when you came back you kissed me out of boredom."

Asuka flinched at Shinji's words spoken in a soft, quiet voice, both trying hard not to show how much it had hurt back then, and how it still hurt right now, before she shook her head and stared at him.

"It was before that; back when I told you what's-his-face had asked me out."

Shinji stiffened, knowing who she was talking about, but not really sure if Asuka forgetting his name was intentional, or if she had actually forgotten all about it, since the date in itself had been, according to the redhead, nothing but a waste of time.

"It was Ryuj-"

"I don't care who it was!" Asuka said angrily, still keeping her distance, still not turning around but her voice sounded stressed, with a faint edge to it, as if she was talking while suffering from a cold; throat raw and hurting and unable to go on. "When I told you, I asked you if you cared and you shrugged your shoulders and said it didn't matter, and then those girls, they began saying that you... and then I heard Mana... and I..."

Because every one of his friends, except for Hikari and Mayumi had said that Asuka was just a mean, selfish, and haughty girl, and lately it had seemed like the only thing they did was argue about anything which in itself was annoying.

"What did you expect me to do?" Shinji asked angrily; back then, Shinji had been livid, but of course, he had kept it to himself; he just couldn't understand, and he often thought it was useless to try. "You were talking about him on the way back, saying how he was so cool, and president of the debate club, and also part of the baseball team, and how he had come and asked you in front of everyone."

But then why..?

"I-" Asuka began, looking down, realizing that this was the end, because she couldn't keep the charade anymore, and now she looked smaller than Shinji could remember her, shoulders scrunched together, and body looking like a withered flower trying to survive the cold.

Why was it that every time he saw her, his heart would beat like crazy?

"You kissed me because you were bored." Shinji added quietly, taking another step as Asuka remained looking down, and now he could feel it once more; the smell of her shampoo and body wash, so close, so intense and intimate...

A smell so tantalizing that it literally made him ache.

"You pinched my nose."

"Yeah..." Asuka nodded, before she looked up at Shinji, and Shinji swallowed as she took a step towards him.

"And now you tried to gave me chocolate to make up for it." Shinji said as she took one last, final step towards her as well, now only separated by mere inches before he picked up the abused cardboard box and offered it to her.

"I actually liked it." Shinji began quietly, and for some reason, his words seemed to be like lances piercing Asuka's body, making the redhead tremble, whether it was either out of anger, or regret, or embarrassment, Shinji couldn't really tell.

But he figured that if Asuka had the guts to do something like this, the least he could do was try as well.

"I got you something." Shinji continued undauntedly, opening the box and pulling out a smaller one, red with gold trimmings, and after a moment, Asuka took the box from him.

"I told you I didn't want anything for White Day."

"I know" Shinji said smiling at Asuka who, despite her angry scowl, was looking at the box and biting her lip, which meant she wasn't going to hit him or anything.

Shinji knew that Asuka hated white chocolate; had complained about how the taste seemed chalky, and how the texture was too hard, and how the color was just wrong.

And Shinji couldn't help but smile despite himself because he figured it was some kind of poetic justice that Asuka would take chocolate so seriously; they couldn't have been more than eight or ten when Kyoko and Yui had explained to the little redhead about why girls could only get white chocolate a month after valentines, to which Asuka had answered in the same way she would have had this happened when she was older, by declaring it a stupid tradition.

"It's a stupid tradition."

"I know..." Shinji said smiling patiently and feeling like a kid again, trying to somehow bring back a smile to her face.

Asuka was staring at him now, and her scowl was slowly melting away, and when she tried to open the box Shinji figured the gentleman thing to do was to help her, which he did, and their fingers brushed together, making Asuka's face grow a red hue on her cheeks.

Shinji figured he's made the right choice; blushing was never a bad sign, according to the movies and the series and the comics and Kaji and Toji and Musashi.

And even if Asuka hadn't meant any of it, even if she rejected him now, Shinji thought it was worth it, because Asuka wasn't the type to blush, and right now...

Right now she looked pretty, and soft and almost vulnerable.

"How much money did you spend on this?"

Shinji shrugged like he had seen Kaji do it whenever Misato had asked him the same question about something he had bought her, making Asuka roll her eyes obviously knowing who the blue-eyed boy was trying to emulate as she slowly opened the box.

"They-"

Inside was a small assortment of truffles made out of dark chocolate, which Shinji knew Asuka liked better than the regular milk type, and Asuka figured they had been expensive because they were impressively lavish judging from the wrapping and the way they seemed to have been hand crafted meticulously by some sort of chocolate artisan.

Shinji opened his mouth to offer an explanation, given how Asuka had turned to look up at him, figuring she was trying to understand what he meant by this, deciding that, even if she hadn't helped him back on when this whole thing started on the roof, it was his duty to help Asuka out.

But Asuka didn't really care, and Shinji realized that she wasn't really trying to figure out what he meant.

Instead, she was kissing him, again, slowly and maybe a bit shyly, and perhaps a tad forcefully, but she wasn't doing it out boredom, and Shinji felt slightly dizzy and out of breath even if she wasn't pinching his nose.

Because the kiss held all the explanations they both needed from each other; it was wanting to belong, not out of some sort of poetic notion of love, but wanting to know what truth laid behind the looks each held, being able to see past the posturing and into what was really being said despite the words being spoken.

A kiss that asked for them to cast away the doubts, and listen to what couldn't be said.

Because a kiss had changed their lives a year before, and this kiss would change it from this point on in just a second, wiping the slate clean, and burning itself forever into their mind.

So there was no explanation needed or given; just a simple realization to be had.

Once, when Shinji and his friends had been eating lunch in the school roof as usual, the conversation had drifted towards the topic of girlfriends and Musashi had mentioned how girlfriends always liked sweets and candies and going to nice, expensive restaurants and watching girly, sappy movies that always made them cry throughout the movie.

For some reason, Shinji had thought in that moment how Asuka would never do that, how she liked to eat meat lover's pizza and spicy curry and watch action movies, especially the kind that are loud enough to make one go deaf and that made her punch the air and scream loudly.

So Shinji had long ago realized he was just not ready for a girlfriend, and he had come to this understanding after drawing forth all the amassed information he could muster, both from seeing how Misato behaved around Kaji, and from all the TV shows and magazines and other sources.

After careful observation of the mating rituals that were prevalent in TV Shows, as well as the way Musashi and Toji were swindled by their "not-really-my-girlfriend" girlfriends, Shinji had realized that, before he could even think about having a girlfriend, he'd have to get a couple of part-time jobs, and ask his mom for permission to do so, or ask his dad for extra allowance, which of course made getting a couple of part-time jobs an easier, less terrorizing choice.

But right now, a little voice in his head told him that wasn't entirely true, making him remember that Asuka never expected any of those things from him.

_Well, ok, she sometimes does... _Shinji thought quietly as he took another look at the redhead's room across from him. _But only when she's trying to make a point. A-and there are other times when she's actually offended whenever I do something like that._

Like the first time Shinji had tried to buy her lunch: she had been pestering him for weeks so Shinji had finally decided to do it just to get her off his back, but when he offered her a Yakisoba roll Asuka had given him a look, before grabbing it and tossing it away before going back to eating the lunch her mother had packed for her that day, making Shinji look at Asuka as she kept on eating as if nothing had happened before he sighed, dropping his shoulders and walking away, shaking his head.

_But there was that one time we stopped by the Lotteria nearby, and she bought me a kid's combo... even if all she wanted was the action figure because Misato had asked for it and Asuka owed her._

Once, Toji and Kensuke had convinced Shinji to go with them to the arcade, ditching Asuka's physics tutoring session; when she found out, the redhead proceeded to beat him in every single arcade game and video game he owned mercilessly, methodically and gruesomely, even going so far as to take pictures, or stalk him until Shinji would log in and then school him live in versus modes, posting the rankings and pictures in the school bulletin boards to add insult to injury before eventually growing tired and demanding Shinji to buy her tokens every time they went to the arcade until she could forgive him.

_Thank God it only took about two days and a half days, and when I won that one time, she accepted to be my "slave" for the day as punishment, but refused to do anything other than help me with my English homework._

Toji had agreed saying that, besides making one go to boring movies, girlfriends also insisted on having the boyfriend carry their shopping bags and holding doors open while expecting them to dress nicely in suits and ties or khakis and button-down shirts, like Misato made Kaji do.

_But Asuka always tell me I dress way too boring, that I should be comfortable enough NOT wearing polo shirts, or wearing ripped jeans, and she never carries any bags and she's always opening her own doors and likes sitting in booths whenever we go to eat at a fast food place, except for the times she demands I act like a gentleman which is normally just a way for her to tease me..._

Musashi had mentioned that girlfriends expected a boyfriend to get them nice things, and when their birthdays came around, they expected roses and nice jewelry and dinner and a movie.

_But when I tried giving her a necklace for her birthday, Asuka slapped my shoulder before saying how she had been dropping hints all month long about wanting Gore Coliseum IV instead._

And when Shinji pointed out those hints had been her swearing she would never get such a brutish game because she hated blood, Asuka had simply dismissed his logic by saying any guy would have known to read between the lines and the was only accepting the gift because it would be rude and she was brought better than that by her mom.

But Shinji could still see inside Asuka's room, seeing that necklace hanging from the cork-board in her room right next to a picture they both had taken once during summer, smiling, happy, flashing a peace sign at the camera while Asuka held her arm around his neck.

And Shinji realized that Mana had been right all along.

_Asuka isn't right for anyone... and she isn't girlfriend material, but that's a good thing, because_ _if I had a girlfriend, I'd need a part-time job now, and extra allowances... and a lot of practice at knowing when to hold open doors and pay for things._

So Shinji was happy he didn't have a girlfriend... he had an Asuka.

And as he kept making out with her, faintly feeling the cold air, along with the smell that was Asuka intermixing with the sweet, intoxicating smell of the gardenias from her window just a few meters away, Shinji realized that was much better than anything an ordinary girlfriend could offer him.

**

* * *

AN:** According to _Hanakotoba_, the Japanese "language of flowers", Gardenias represent "Secret Love". Also, if you're ever around a Lotteria burger joint, try the shrimp burger; it's awesome with a side of gnarly, totally.

**Pre-read by:** Some dudes on my facebook (but not the full story, just an excerpt) and my entire Creative Writing Class (unwillingly; thanks, losers!).

I want to offer this story as a shout-out and a boost to my girl Myssa Rei; before her, I knew squat about Mayumi Yamagishi, thanks to her and Ranka, I came to see Mayumi as a credible character given the right context; may this little story serve as some sort of homage to how those two managed to make an obscure video-game only character an important character in this fic.

Well, this is uh, what? number 17? Yeah... go me... just 13 more to go; at the rate this is going I might end this before I get to retire. This is the annual valentine's day fic (and yes, before a certain anonymous asks, if he decides to leave another unsigned review the other one is still a WIP) so I hope y'all like and whatever; with some luck, this might go into the fanfictionwriters' contest page as well.

Thanks for reading, hope you liked this, and have a happy Valentines day.

EB, out.


	18. Kiss 13, Way 16

**30 Kisses, 30 Ways: Shinji and Asuka**

**Themes:** K-13. Excessive chain, W-16. Honesty

**Title:** Reading between the lines

**Disclaimer: **I shall use this space to cover my own ass: Not mine. I do not own Eva, or anything in this story.

This little joke started as an attempt of mine in trying to get out of writer's block, so I (stupidly) said to myself "Myself, let's take this endeavor of 2 challenges at once: 30 kisses and 30 ways in one story."

It all snowballed from there.

Shinji hiccuped shifting a little as he felt a leg of the table digging against his back, sniffling and running the back of his hand against his nose before taking another drink from the sake bottle at his feet.

"Y-you bitch…"

He took another swig, making a face out of memory, since the bitterness of the sake had long been forgotten, his taste buds already numbed by the liquor as several empty bottles laid strewn around his feet and on top of the table against which his back was resting right now.

"H-how could you… w-why?" Shinji sobbed before throwing the first thing in his hand which turned out to be the ring box, getting a brief feeling of satisfaction from hearing it clattering around the room.

"I thought I meant something… you only… you used me." he continued while hitting the floor with her fist, unable to otherwise express his rage and anger and frustration while his mind kept replaying the events of the day over and over.

—- —- —-

"Shinji, please stop drumming your fingers against the controls, the sound is aggravating." Ritsuko Akagi said sullenly while recording the latest data from test plug 01.

"_Sorry, Dr. Akagi._" Came the sheepish response over the comm channel, making Ritsuko roll her eyes while a small smile crept on her face. It was obvious he was nervous given what he had planned today, and Misato had been very clear about telling her and Kaji not to mention anything about knowing Shinji's plan.

"Even if he doesn't look like it, he still has trouble believing in himself."

The irony wasn't lost by neither of the three.

"_Don't you think they're both too young?_" Kaji asked over the video feed, ever the concerned adult when it came to the redhead he now saw equally as a younger sister, as well as a daughter. "_I mean, far be it for me to stifle young love and all, but I really think those two should take things a bit slower._"

"Are you sure this is you talking and not your paycheck?" Misato grumbled.

"_Ok, fine… Langley asked me to have a talk with her and to make a long story short, I don't think I'm her beloved Kaji-san anymore._" The ponytailed man said with a smirk before hearing a beep. "_Ritsuko, I just got Asuka's data. Here, you can check her synch-graphs against Shinji's._"

"Thanks Kaji." Ritsuko said calmly, taking a sip from her coffee cup while scribbling down something on her notepad. "Both you two and Asuka's father need to understand they faced a life or death situation 4 years ago, and then once they survived, they were told they would be separated and possibly never see each other again. If anything, those situations made them more aware of what could happen in the near future as opposed to anything."

"Well, you know those two… it's been four years and they still behave pretty much like Asuka living in Germany is nothing but a short-term vacation." Misato pointed out from her seat, where she was busy amusing herself by spinning around.

"_Her father told Asuka she was still too young and if needed be, he would pull his weight around to make her focus on what was important instead of chasing after rainbows._" Kaji said with a humorless tone.

"So that's why she did it, huh?" Misato wondered out loud while smirking.

"_Did what?_"

"Oh, Asuka told me last time she'd be staying with me instead of Hikari."

"_She did?_"

"Yeah, I think Hikari doesn't want to cover for her anymore when I call asking for her knowing already she's necking with Shinji on the apartment complex roof…." Misato said with a slight smirk as if knowing this made her be superior to everyone in the room. "As if any one of them could pull the ol' 'lets ditch Misato and make out' trick on me."

"You both might as well accept the fact that your surrogate children are getting married… which might qualify as a quasi incestuous-relationship." Ritsuko added while taking another drink of her coffee to hide her smirk while Misato and Kaji sputtered around her comment.

And now, the blond could see the look in Shinji's face, knowing that as soon as he would be out, he would call Asuka and they would both talk for the better part of the hour.

_I wonder how on earth that boy plans on proposing to her._ Ritsuko thought as she milled ruefully, turning to look over her shoulder to the top part of the command deck where both Dr. Ikari and Commander Ikari were watching.

_Still, it wouldn't hurt to give him a little confidence shot. _Ritsuko thought as she opened a private voice channel between her terminal and Shinji.

"_Hi, Shinji, I have been noticing a few uh… fluctuation marks on your synch-graph… are you nervous about… something in particular?_"

Shinji blinked at the voice channel, labeled 'Sound Only' before he looked at his parents; they both looked busy and serious, but he could also see his mother's hand squeezing his father's shoulder, before his own gloved hand came to rest on top of her.

"Uh… ye-yeah, a little…"

"_Don't worry Shinji, I'm sure she's waiting for you to call her too._"

Shinji's face blushed a bright red; of course everyone knew about his and Asuka's relationship, especially after the incident involving the ship that was supposed to send her and Unit 02 to the NERV-EU base in Germany, how he had boarded the ship without permission, running around while shouting Asuka's name only to have her show up in one of the scaffold's overhead, jumping over the rail and reaching out for him, holding each other like a lifeline, never letting go.

Misato hadn't been pleased in the slightest, and Kaji had even given them a half-hearted lecture while both were still on the ship but both Shinji and Asuka noticed how he was obviously bored and didn't even say anything while they each held hands.

That had been 4 years ago. 4 long years of a long distance relationship that would have Asuka coming over twice a year and staying with Hikari on the pretense of 'catching up with her' or Shinji going to visit Kaji and, invariably, Asuka; messages and emails and packages for valentines day and white day, birthdays and more had been exchanged.

And through it all, their relationship had been cemented, had grown stronger, and now, today…

_Asuka will be 18._ Shinji thought as he exited the test plug and walked quickly towards the locker room, already imagining his phone would be ringing since Asuka was always calling him on time. He was still a little worried after their last fight a couple of days ago, it had been over something minimal but for some reason Asuka had insisted making a big deal out of it, before she began to tell Shinji she was tired of the distance, of the wait, of having to listen day in and out to her parents telling her she should be better at school, apply herself more on Nerv's program.

In short, asking her to let go of him.

It had all went downhill afterward, like a wrecking ball that had lost control, smashing everything in front until all the excessive chain had been railed in and exhausted, ending in Asuka calling him an idiot and how she hated him and she was happy they were half a world apart otherwise she would be kicking him up and down the street.

That was when Shinji had decided to end the conversation. Seconds afterwards, Asuka had called only to shout at him when he picked up she was the one ending this, not him.

Afterwards, Shinji had decided to let her be and let her cool down. In a way, it had worked out better for him; that fight had made him realize she was right and he should show her what she really meant, so after carefully considering everything, he had decided to buy her a ring and ask her to marry him on her birthday, letting her know that when she got to Tokyo in a couple of weeks, he would be giving her the ring to make it official and in the meantime they should prepare their parents for the obvious shocking news.

But when Shinji checked his phone he saw there were no missed calls or messages, no emails or voice mails.

_That's odd, it should be 10 in the morning over there._ Shinji thought as he glanced at the small velvet box inside his locker. Asuka would come for her Christmas break in 2 weeks, but he had already made up his mind to ask her to marry him, now that they were both, finally, legally adults.

_Well, it is her birthday, so maybe she is expecting me to call her._ The boy figured as he began to punch in the numbers, holding the phone to his ear and waiting.

"_Hallo?_"

Shinji frowned; the voice was unmistakably male and clearly German, maybe Asuka's dad had…

"_Hallo, wer ist das?_"

"Oh, a-ah… E-English, please." Shinji said shakily, not knowing if Asuka's dad knew any Japanese. "I w-want to talk to Asu-"

"_Wer ist es?_" Shinji gasped; the voice sounded angry. Was Asuka still angry? Maybe she had an argument with someone.

"_Ich weiß es nicht, einige kid wollen mit dir reden._"

"_Ugh, ist es wahrscheinlich mein dummkopf Ex-Freund. Sagen Sie ihm, tot umfallen._" Shinji couldn't understand a lot of German, but the only words he could make out were unequivocally Asuka's; 'Idiot Ex-boyfriend'.

Whatever else anyone was saying, it didn't really matter; Shinji simply stopped caring, not even registering when the phone fell of his hand, impacting on the floor.

—- —- —-

He didn't know how he got home, all he could remember was he had to get out of there, he had to leave, run… and all the strength he could muster only managed to move his legs forward, not caring or minding about bumping into people on the elevator or the train car.

Never once did Shinji care enough to raise his eyes.

On auto-pilot, he left on his usual stop, walking up towards his home, opening the door and walking in before going straight to the liquor cabinet.

He didn't know how long he had been drinking, but he knew the numbness was a welcomed state; things felt softer, smoother… fuzzier.

It also meant Kaworu was here.

"H-huh? Kaworu? Wh-what? Aren't you supposed to be in… de-dead?" Shinji slurred.

"Yes, I am just a hallucination brought upon by your consumption of alcohol." Kaworu said placidly, sitting down in front of Shinji and staring at him with dancing, merry eyes.

"W-well, why are you here?"

"I am a figment of your imagination, Shinji… I also seem to be someone you feel a close attachment to. A spirit guide of sorts." Kaworu chuckled, almost as if he had said a personal, private joke. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Shinji paused, looking at Kaworu with bleary, drunken eyes. "I-if you're really just a random thought, you should… know."

"You want to talk about how Soryu dumped you." Kaworu said with the same affably tone, as if he were practicing singing lessons.

"Why? We promised we'd wait… she just… why?"

"You're thinking perhaps she was pressured by someone. _Kaji and Misato had already said we were too young._" Kaworu spoke in Shinji's soft voice, matching pitch and tone without flaw.

"Yeah."

"So do you feel that way?"

"O-of course not." Shinji shot back feeling dizzy. "I mean, yeah, we're young but we love each other so it really shouldn't matter, right?"

Kaworu nodded. "But you already knew I would agree with you."

"Yeah." Shinji sighed. "I mean, you always want what would make me happy, so…"

"Maybe I would be better for this then."

Shinji blinked, now, in front of him was Rei.

"I haven't seen you much even though we're both stationed here in Japan." Shinji said, smiling softly at Rei.

"That's because I've been in Matsuhiro. Besides, you no longer call." Rei said with a chiding tone, even if she was smiling at Shinji like she used to. Last time Shinji had seen her, she had let her hair grow, now wearing it tied into a long ponytail.

"I know, after the last time…"

"Yeah, I guess me blurting out I loved you even while I knew you and Asuka were dating was a bit of a gaffe." Rei said while rubbing her nose and giving Shinji a small bashful smile.

"So, I…" Shinji began, closing his eyes, feeling his cheeks burning. "Are you here to tell me she did the right thing?"

Rei nodded. "You had actually been waiting for this day ever since you both decided to give this a try 4 years ago."

The tone in which Rei said that made Shinji look down, realizing it was true.

"You always knew she would eventually grow tired of long distance relationship; how often did you fight over small stuff like you not answering the phone, or her always having such a tight schedule? It's a wonder you even managed to hold up this long."

Shinji held his head against his knees. It's true. Rei's right.

"So I guess I actually wanted her to leave me then? I'm so pathetic."

"You really are."

Shinji blinked before looking up. In front of her was now Asuka, standing tall, proud and looking down sternly at him.

"Look at you, feeling sorry for yourself and getting drunk; you've been hanging around Misato for too long."

"Shut up."

"And look at the mess you made. I'm sure your mom and your dad are gonna be pissed off when they come back and see y—" Asuka paused mid sentence before stopping and noticing the small velvet box, kneeling down next to it.

"Don't touch that!"

Asuka jumped back as Shinji grabbed the box from where it was, glaring at her with red, watery eyes.

"This was supposed to be your gift! I was gonna ask you to marry me!"

Asuka stopped and stared at Shinji, lips quivering .

"Y-you what?"

"Yeah, today, I was gonna… a-and then I wanted you… w-when you got here… a-and I…" Shinji mumbled before Asuka knelt in front of him, holding the box.

"Why didn't you called me today?"

"I did and your dad answered and I heard you saying it's probably my idiot ex-boyfriend and I just…"

Asuka stared at Shinji for a long time before she slowly began to giggle. The giggle became a chuckle and soon she was sitting in front of Shinji, laughing out loud before falling on her back while he looked at her with an angry look on his face.

"It's not funny! A-And you're not even real!"

Asuka stopped laughing, giving Shinji an exasperated look before she got back to her sitting position in front of Shinji.

"You really are an idiot, but I knew that from the moment I met you… still… I guess…"

***Slap!***

"Ow!" Shinji yelped rubbing his cheek after Asuka's slap. "What the hell was that fo—"

Shinji blinked quickly.

"You're… here?"

"Of course I'm here! Where the hell else am I supposed to be!?" Asuka shouted as she placed her hands, balled into tight fists, on her waist, looking down at Shinji.

_Just like back when we first met._ Shinji thought, feeling a pang of nostalgia mixing in with the happiness that moment always brought to his heart.

"But i thought you... over there at Germany... I mean..."

"Please! Do you honestly think I wouldn't come here?" Asuka huffed, trying hard to hide her smile. "I bought a ticket myself and got here after I got in a fight with my dad, I've been staying at Misato's since yesterday at night."

"Then today…" Shinji said slowly, trying to rationalize everything. "I heard you and your father…"

"Oh that? That was me talking with some random tech from Nerv a couple of days ago to set up my voicemail message for you." Asuka said as she pulled out her phone and grabbed Shinji's, dialing from his number and letting it ring several times before the message played again.

"Stupid Shinji, I'm pissed right now, but if you called to apologize, then I guess I can always listen to your message. Moron."

Shinji stared first at the phone and then at her.

"What? I was still angry at you for being an idiot, you know."

"A-and now?" Shinji said as his face slowly began to grow red and his lips slowly began to etch a smile.

"Now, I'm trying to come up with a good wedding proposal since I'm the one holding the ring." Asuka said before staring at Shinji, smiling. "Which is kind of lame because the guy should always do the proposing, a-and besides I have no clue of how to do this, anyway…"

Shinji stood there, staring at her face, her smile, her eyes… nothing else seemed to matter except this moment with her while Asuka kept her smiled before pouncing on Shinji almost as if she were a lion stalking her prey, landing on top of Shinji, almost straddling him.

"Shinji Ikari, my biggest idiot, my oldest friend, the only idiot who would sneak into a ship after realizing just how good a catch I am, the only dork who would put up with me in a relationship no one else but us seem to want,the only moron who would try to propose over the phone instead than on person…" Asuka said as she held the ring between thumb and forefinger, using it to separate her lips from Shinji's.

"Would you marry me?"

Shinji simply took the ring, and slid it into Asuka's fingers before cupping her chin and kissing her gently on the lips.

"You already knew I'd say yes."

- Fin -

_AN: Not much to say; this was written over a scenario interaction someone very special proposed (pun very much intended) and it has a very special meaning for us both. I hope you guys like it half as much as she did._

_Mahal kita, baby._


End file.
